Is that even possible?
I burned out about six months ago, when my divorce proceedings began. In the months and years preceding that I went from being the pretty ordinary evangelical that I was raised to be, to a whacky charismatic, to utilizing my love of history to seek out the truest continuation of the church and it's traditions (which led me to exploring Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy). Then I stopped cold turkey. I got sick of it all, stopped going to church and am left feeling more or less Agnostic, or at least ambivalent.
I think this decline started with basically a disdain for Christian culture. I've gotten tired that Christians try so hard to create their own versions of everything. Like Rob Bell said about art, for example:
Full Article.
I started seeing what Bell said about art, and I started seeing the same principle
in every other aspect of life. Art, relationships, academics, social circles and events... what the what?!
I got tired of this sub-par "alternative" to life that I felt like I was expected to live if I wanted to be a Christian. This was a huge component of my detachment from the faith. In recent months I've started dating a woman and she's not a Christian (but she believes in a Higher Power and is open to the idea of going to church, probably more than me), but I find her more thoughtful, compelling, honest and full of integrity than most folks I knew in my former Christian circles and I'm absolutely crazy about her.
Does anyone else understand what I'm saying, and maybe feel the same way? If so, have you decided to continue in your faith? If you have, how do you reconcile this conflict?