I'm still struggling

[Boxers1]

OCD friends...I'm still struggling with the fearful thought of hs..i blaspheme you...please forgive me for sharing this terrible obsession, but it is causing me much grief b/c of the perceived fear that it is the unpardonable sin that I had to tell you about it...am i the only one to have this thought? i feel so awful when i can't control it...liked i crossed the line. i know i'm supposed to say "oh well" but do you know how hard it is to say oh well to something that makes you fear eternal separation from God?

I don't want to be afraid anymore.
Boxers1

 

[orangecrush98]

I know its scary . One thing that has helped me is to think about is how much greater God is than our minds . Jesus saves the heart .

That The Lord Jesus would give grace to keep on seeking Him .

 

[Boxers1]

Thanks orangecrush...I appreciate that. It helps. I think I get impatient when I still struggle thinking that my therapy isn't working....but it takes a long time to heal from OCD...God understands our thoughts better than we do...so true....I need to stop wishing for a quick fix...its a process of therapy and I need to go slow just like it would be for any other illness.
Boxers1

I know its scary . One thing that has helped me is to think about is how much greater God is than our minds . Jesus saves the heart .

That The Lord Jesus would give grace to keep on seeking Him .

 

[kaykay637]

OCD friends...I'm still struggling with the fearful thought of hs..i blaspheme you...please forgive me for sharing this terrible obsession, but it is causing me much grief b/c of the perceived fear that it is the unpardonable sin that I had to tell you about it...am i the only one to have this thought? i feel so awful when i can't control it...liked i crossed the line. i know i'm supposed to say "oh well" but do you know how hard it is to say oh well to something that makes you fear eternal separation from God?

I don't want to be afraid anymore.
Boxers1

This is very, very common for Christians with OCD. This is one of the obsessions I used to deal with when I was a lot younger. I posted this on another thread today, but just trust me, the only way to cause such thoughts to lessen is to realize that they have NO spiritual significance. This is NOT the unpardonable sin. Most people that fear committing the unpardonable sin aren't even capable usually committing it if you know what I mean. These thoughts are meaningless. God knows you don't want these thoughts. Just renounce them ONE TIME only if necessary. After that, move on. Ignore the thoughts. I know with OCD that's not easy. I've been there. It really is the only way. Again, they have NO spiritual significance. It's OCD, and God knows that better than we do ourselves!

 

[marcb]

Hi Boxers1,

This is really hard. At times I think I can whole heartedly commit to exposure therapy, when I do it's scary. If it's not the unpardonable sin it's selling my soul (and now my unborn twins - I could cry, but I know God is greater and has better plans than my impulsive obsessive thoughts).

Love in Christ,

Marc

 

[gracealone]

OCD friends...I'm still struggling with the fearful thought of hs..i blaspheme you...please forgive me for sharing this terrible obsession, but it is causing me much grief b/c of the perceived fear that it is the unpardonable sin that I had to tell you about it...am i the only one to have this thought? i feel so awful when i can't control it...liked i crossed the line. i know i'm supposed to say "oh well" but do you know how hard it is to say oh well to something that makes you fear eternal separation from God?

I don't want to be afraid anymore.
Boxers1

Boxers,
You mustn't apologize for posting your OCD thoughts in such a transparent way. It's important to open up with each other about these things because one of the most encouraging things for us is to know that - yes - others with OCD have had thoughts/spikes on this same theme. Same illness/ same symptoms. You are right that you have to expect these episodes of two steps forward one step backward. Exposure/repsonse/prevention therapy takes practice, perseverance, persistence and patience. If you fall off the horse don't be discouraged just climb back on and go back to square one.
I think you're doing a great job by the way!!
I'm praying for you.
Mitzi

 

[seajoy]

Listen to Mitzi.....she's one smart cookie! What she describes is exactly how my therapy went. I would go backwards for a time and think all was lost, then I would come back all the stronger. Those bad episodes will come farther apart in time. Trust me....been there.

 

[gracealone]

Hi Boxers1,

This is really hard. At times I think I can whole heartedly commit to exposure therapy, when I do it's scary. If it's not the unpardonable sin it's selling my soul (and now my unborn twins - I could cry, but I know God is greater and has better plans than my impulsive obsessive thoughts).

Love in Christ,

Marc

Marc,
Twins!!! Really!! What an awesome blessing. But even awesome blessings can be sources of stress to those of us with OCD. And as you know - increased stress means increased OCD symptoms. So I am glad to hear that for now you went back on meds.
I know how horrific it is to have OCD grab onto themes that involve our helpless little babies but you had to know that it would. Obviously your love for your babies is already so strong or else those thoughts would have little impact on you. You have to recognize them as OCD spikes and don't start down the path of trying to prove to yourself,(checking/reassurance) that you won't act on any of those thoughts.
I had the most vile intrusive images and OCD spikes imaginable about my precious children when they were babies. I didn't even know it was OCD so I spent every hour of every day doing battle with them which of course only made matters worse. When I eventually got better, the thoughts couldn't shake me anymore. I wish I had known it was OCD, but on the other hand my experience proves out that just because the thoughts are there doesn't mean that you will act on them. My children are all grown, married and raising children of their own now.
Don't let OCD blindside you buddy. You need to take an attitude of - "that figures, nice try, whatever ", as much as you possibly can about these thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your news.
Please pray for my daughter in law if you will. Her baby boy is due this summer. She has OCD that is almost identical to mine. She is on meds. but she still struggles with it from time to time. I am, of course, concerned for her, (not the baby),that her OCD will train it's sights on her relationship to the baby for whom she already has such deep love.
Praying for you Marc.
Mitzi

 

[marcb]

Marc,
Twins!!! Really!! What an awesome blessing. But even awesome blessings can be sources of stress to those of us with OCD. And as you know - increased stress means increased OCD symptoms. So I am glad to hear that for now you went back on meds.
I know how horrific it is to have OCD grab onto themes that involve our helpless little babies but you had to know that it would. Obviously your love for your babies is already so strong or else those thoughts would have little impact on you. You have to recognize them as OCD spikes and don't start down the path of trying to prove to yourself,(checking/reassurance) that you won't act on any of those thoughts.
I had the most vile intrusive images and OCD spikes imaginable about my precious children when they were babies. I didn't even know it was OCD so I spent every hour of every day doing battle with them which of course only made matters worse. When I eventually got better, the thoughts couldn't shake me anymore. I wish I had known it was OCD, but on the other hand my experience proves out that just because the thoughts are there doesn't mean that you will act on them. My children are all grown, married and raising children of their own now.
Don't let OCD blindside you buddy. You need to take an attitude of - "that figures, nice try, whatever ", as much as you possibly can about these thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your news.
Please pray for my daughter in law if you will. Her baby boy is due this summer. She has OCD that is almost identical to mine. She is on meds. but she still struggles with it from time to time. I am, of course, concerned for her, (not the baby),that her OCD will train it's sights on her relationship to the baby for whom she already has such deep love.
Praying for you Marc.
Mitzi

Thank you for your prayers and your kind words. I will pray for your daughter.

I just hate when I think "ok bring it on," then whatever obsessive thought will fly in, then I'll "raise it one." I guess that's the way it goes. Marc

 

[gracealone]

Thank you for your prayers and your kind words. I will pray for your daughter.

I just hate when I think "ok bring it on," then whatever obsessive thought will fly in, then I'll "raise it one." I guess that's the way it goes. Marc

Thanks Marc!

 

[jc9992]

I'm still struggling


OCD friends...I'm still struggling with the fearful thought of hs..i blaspheme you...please forgive me for sharing this terrible obsession, but it is causing me much grief b/c of the perceived fear that it is the unpardonable sin that I had to tell you about it...am i the only one to have this thought? i feel so awful when i can't control it...liked i crossed the line. i know i'm supposed to say "oh well" but do you know how hard it is to say oh well to something that makes you fear eternal separation from God?

I don't want to be afraid anymore.
Boxers1

I know how you feel boxers1. Although im not struggling as bad as i was a few months ago im still having trouble with OCD thoughts.I want them to go away too.Ive accepted that no matter what i will still have OCD unless God chooses to heal me of it.God is helping me now with OCD so thats good enough, but i still hate having these thoughts period.