Im starting to scare myself

[Spikey4672]

So this is my dilema
It has come to my attention recently that i have begun to have deep feelings of hate towards successful people. This isnt your normal case of the green eyed monster, i dont want anything these people have, i just want them to not have it. i will sit there sometimes and just imagine terrible things happening to these people so that they don't seem so great anymore, such as if a guy is good at sports i might imagine he fumble the ball on the last play and him getting ridiculed at for days to come and he ends up giving up his dream of professional ball because of the incident. I already know this is COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY 101% WRONG but i just get so carried away sometimes. Now its gotten to the point where i cant stand being around people in general, even those i would call my friends. I just need some help, i know that this is the same mentality that bullies and many immature and spiteful people have, and i dont want to feel this way. i have prayed for God to help me see the good in people and to see them as lost souls, but i dont feel like its enough. I feel so helpless at this point, i dont want to live life as a spiteful hateful person

 

[xSqUiD]

What you're pretty much saying is that you want to be partially better than these people but why?

 

[Spikey4672]

I really don't know, at first i thought i was just jealous because you know im not exceptional but as time went on it just escalated to the point where i thought EVERYONE was a class A jerk who needed to be brought down to size. Even when my friends are happy or accomplish things i find myself angry at them for being so happy. Maybe i just lack that much in self-worth...

 

[rustom]

Hi,

While I may not be going through the exact same thing as you, I do have experience something similar. I may see someone and judge their appearance which I absolutely hate doing, and I feel bad when those kind of thoughts occur since I think, 'what if I really am like this?'
However, it's good that you are trying to overcome this.
First, definitely don't stop praying to God about this. While the problem may not go away the next morning, it does form some obedience and shows the need for God.
Second would be discussing this with someone else, perhaps your pastor or fellow brothers and sisters.

Lastly verses to encourage and meditate on.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
- Matthew 5:6

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
- Philippians 4:6-9

14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.
- 1 John 5:14-15

For through the Spirit, by faith, we ourselves eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness.
- Galatians 5:5

(ESV)

Praying that you'll overcome.
May God's grace and peace be with you.

 

[Cliquely]

Ruston, I am totally with you on this one.
Disciplining ourselves to accept that God has put people in different situations than us is difficult, but He makes us go a step farther and says we have to love them.
Love them.
We're human, and so some days (months, years) we find this harder to do than others. If we fail, it doesn't make us bad Christians. It just means we need more of Christ. That's the bottom line of everything really. More of Him. The fact that you even want to rectify this in yourself shows that you really do carry His love in your heart, so you don't have to worry about this lasting forever.

"The rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the maker of them all." -Proverbs 22:2

 

[Gnostic Guy]

Hey, man it seems like some entity might be dragging you down, so what I did to overcome this was becoming a conduit of the Father's light and shielding myself from negative energy. Something that might help you even more is whenever such a thought as you mentioned above pops into your mind, mentally say "This is not my thought. Begone" and do not think about it again.