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I'm so desperate and lonely, I can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Depression Disorders' started by MysticAngelxx, Jul 20, 2011.

  1. MysticAngelxx

    MysticAngelxx Guest

    Hi guys,
    Well things have been really downhill for me...
    To begin with I have social anxiety so I'm always lonely and don't have any friends at all because of that. It's so bad that I get terrified and freeze up whenever someone talks to me in a store. I'm 20 years old now and have never had a boyfriend, experiences, life or really any friends. I let the fear destroy everything I could've had and done and been, like everyone else my age. Just a pathetic waste of life:( I'm extremely depressed now and I just can't live with it anymore:( The only connection I've had to anyone has been with this guy online and he just told me that he liked another girl which was devastating:( I mean I know nothing could happen with me being this pathetic way in real life but it makes me want to kill myself:( The one person I had any connection with likes another girl that's so much better than I'll ever be:( What's the point now? I'll never have anyone. Just cursed to be alone and afraid forever while everyone else can have amazing things I could only DREAM of:( It kills me to hear people talk about relationships they've had, things they've done, things they're going to do and knowing I never had anything:( People say "just be patient" but I can't wait anymore! I don't know why God made me like this..it's like he hates me and wants me to suffer. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy so how can I believe God loves me?? Nothing even matters anymore:(
  2. Mediakira

    Mediakira Senior Member

    United States
    My dear, that's not God that doing this to you. It's the Devil making you suffer. He has put you in a trap. You have to find a way to break free. I was in a simiar situation. But a different story. Life won't happen unless you break free of being isolated. God really loves His creations. He sees us as His children. Your His daughter, and He would want you to live a happy life. If you want to have nice things. You need to find a way to break out of this trap.

    Starting, what made you to be this shy to begin with? Is there a reason, did something happen. If something bad happen as a child can trigger you to things you don't want to do. Like being afraid to go out or socialize with people.

    The men these days want a cheerful, fun loving, and carefree life. If they see a depressed girl they flee. I witness with second hand, and it happened to me twice. To break free from this. You have to start loving and take care of you health. The main point is to start trusting God, and believe in yourself. Taking care of your health can boost your up confidence, and self esteem. Read your bible more. Pray to God for a better way of living. He'll change it in a blink of an eye sometimes. Pray for strength, and wisdom.

    For my empowerment I was religious shows like Joyce Meyer. Her site is JoyceMeyer.org. I watch almost everyday. I needed to find encouragement, and I find it in her.

    If you need a friend to talk to. I'm willing to make friends with you! I'll have you fun loving and cheerful person in no time! I'll even introduce you to Flower! She's very loving and loves to give hugs on this forums. lol
  3. hope_is_last_to_die

    hope_is_last_to_die what, where, who, when, whatever????

    hi and welcome to our forum :hug: Im so sorry that you are hurting so much, not nice at all. Life is so tough and rough, we face many struggles but there is real help. Firstly our help comes from Jesus, He suffered so much for us and truly understands our suffering and loves us with true love. Through Jesus we can help each other, we are all hurting in different ways, we can comfort and help each other. Ive prayed for you dear precious sister and hope you will be helped much here :prayer: :hug:
  4. NZEN

    NZEN Newbie

    My initial reaction to this is thinking "Wow, finally someone who reminds me of me", I don't think I can at make you believe this or give evidence, but I would like to say that I understand and that it's a long effort to change one's life.

    Your story is basically my story (with a few differences in the less relevant details).

    I know a lot of things that would help, the first thing that comes to mind is a book by Osho called "Meditation: The first and last freedom"
  5. plumsink

    plumsink Friend

    Christian Seeker
    Hunger for experience is a hunger that can never be satisfied. What you are describing is a truth for every living person on this earth. The richest, most powerful, sexiest, most traveled person on this Earth cannot experience everything there is to experience. I envy Neil Armstrong: of all people in all time, only he will ever be first to step on the Moon.

    But hunger for experiences is all a form of materialism, and it is in vain. What matters most in the end is what people care about least: the contents of their own hearts.

    Calling one person better than another is not something that we as human beings have permission to do. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." Only God has the wisdom to judge. You are not a bale of hay, or a side of beef that some USDA inspector is going to grade. That is thinking like the World thinks, not like God thinks. No human beings can evaluate their own souls, never mind anyone else's. Just because another person has more things than you or worldly achievements than you, does not make them any better.

    Sometimes, maybe always, those whom God would separate as special to Himself, he first deprives. Otherwise the interests and cares of the World would always be dominant and choke out the way of God.

    Peace :)
  6. Bendi

    Bendi Bendi

  7. Bendi

    Bendi Bendi

    Hello, you are not alone. Depression hits most everyone at some point in their life. If you want, I will be your friend! You can talk to me and I will listen to you. God never makes mistakes and being alone can be a gift if you let it! Bendi:):confused:
  8. Criada

    Criada Well-Known Member Supporter

    Christian Seeker
    Sister, you are a beautiful and unique creation of God. He doesn't hate you, He loves you more than you could ever imagine. Praying that you will feel that love surrounding you and giving you strength.
  9. Miss Elly

    Miss Elly Miss Elly

    I'm pulling for you, you are so young to be dealing with depression, which is terrible at any age. God is wanting to reach down to you, his wonderful love covers any problems. The old song says" Got any rivers you think are uncrossable, got any mountains, you just can't tunnel through? God specializes in things thought impossible, and He will do, what no other power can do." These words to this song are for you, I feel the presence of the Lord as I wrote them for you. Turn to the Lord with the reading of his Word, just keep saying the name of Jesus over and over. He will respond to the cry of your heart, he will touch you and make you whole.
  10. The Christian Girl

    The Christian Girl Jesus is my Lord, Savior and God.

    Yeah I've probably got Social Anxiety or something like that. I've never been exactly diagnosed with it though, but a lot of the symptoms match up with me. I honestly know how you feel though. I'm always feeling really lonely too. It makes me really sad and upset with myself and I get all panicky about it. I'll start to really cry. Even now I'm feeling very sad. I mean I'm always only ever able to find guys online too. I mean I could never just go out in the real world and find any body, only through Internet or even just regular friends thats hard to find in real life too. A lot of times I don't even feel like I'm good enough for anyone. I feel worthless and I feel like I make everyones life miserable when that isn't even true, but some how my mind can't stop thinking so negatively. If I try to talk to anyone, just anyone or be friends with them in real life as I was growing up. Some people seem to like me, thought I was cool, but then they end up getting bored with me or finding something wrong with me. They would rather be friends with other people more then they would me. Well thats how they acted towards me. Its like I was good, but wasn't exactly good enough. Plus my ADHD has also messed things up throughout my life too. So I've turned to the Internet for the past couple of years. Its really hard to find good friends on the Internet too, although there are a couple of good people out there, but still...its really hard and to especially find friends who understand you and know exactly what you're going through. I don't know if you're like me on this part or what, but like I'll get so attached to some people online that it'll seriously depress me and make me all sad. I'll worry and think about my Internet friends a lot throughout my day, even dream about them. Its like this is my life. I know I'm crazy aren't I? I don't know if you're exactly like that too, but thats just how I am. I wish I had what everyone else had too, but I'm never that lucky either and it makes me upset when I see how its so easy for everyone else and not me and thinking about how I keep getting older and older. Then I just start getting really upset, but I don't ever blame Jesus because maybe he has a good reason for the way things are now in my life, and with Jesus I always feel theres reason to live even though I'm suffering so much and I mean I really am suffering. Hes the only one who keeps me going. If anything I blame myself for everything. Now if he could only guide me and tell me where to start and a way to help myself to feel better, thats what I'm waiting for. I really freeze up a lot too when anyone tries to talk to me when I go places. This problem seems to have only gotten worse as I've grown up. Its so hard and its really hard to be patient, because you're wanting to get out, make a social life for yourself, and be able to do things normal just like everyone else. It feels so impossible, but I never give up on Jesus that one day I'll get better. It upsets me terribly too when I hear of people and how they have relationships and how its so hard for me. Its hard to be so patient. It seems like its taking forever for things to go exactly the way that you want them to. I'm pretty sure that Jesus made everyone the way they are for a reason though. I know that he definitely doesn't want us to suffer though. He loves us very much and he only wants whats best for us. It is hard to understand him at times and read his signs though. Thats where it gets tough. I do know this for sure that no matter what you, me, or anyone else is going through that Jesus loves us very much. Please never forget that.
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2011
  11. FMX

    FMX I am open to all, subject to none.

    Allow me to roll down with you.

    My aunt has this, other people will not be able to befriend/get close to you because of the awkward vibe you omit and even if you get past those difficult fist stages more awkward moments will arise in which both you and the other person wont have the courage to break the ice of.

    You can sometimes not over get this restriction. But I myself get arrogant and obnoxious when I feel uncomfortable. We all react to feeling out of place in different ways.

    Crikey woman, you are only 20. Life is not even partially wasted yet.

    What you mean is, you are not an opportunist. That is not a weakness.

    Ever been on antidepressant?

    What you need to realize is that you don't need anyone. You are just being clingy

    ...you are very concerned with relationships aren't you? Why is that?

    Love finds you, you do not find love. Love is not a car crash, it is a creation.

    You have us here, I've had many things stripped from my heart. I really hate God in many ways. But I put up with His strange ways, like He puts up with mine because it's all we can do for each other.