I'm saying goodbye to Christianity

[LoyalToGod]

Ever since I became one 8 years ago, my life has been nothing but a downward spiral. Year one: suicide attempt
Year two: My favorite wrestler losing for months in a row
Year three: Got put on antidepressants
Year four: <Staff Edit> trying to help a former rape victim
Year five: Got disrespected severely and lost my crush in a motorcycle accident
Year six: Had to deal with a clingy creep from a program I used to go to
Year seven: Can't go into enough detail to describe how horrible that year was
I'm on year eight, and I'm about to call it quits with God, and I feel that he doesn't give a crap about me. Satanism sounds really attractive at this point. What am I to do?
NO PLATITUDES PLEASE!

 

[musicalpilgrim]

I came to the Lord in my thirties, I was born again! wow, it was amazing, then I was filled with the Holy Spirit and have never looked back. It was a long time ago...and I can honestly say, without the Lord I would never have made it so far. Life is hard as Satan can't bear for the children of God to be content. But the joy is indescribable, through all the suffering and the pain
As for me I stay with the Lord.

 

[ForeverEternal]

I'm sorry you feel this way! A lot of bad things happen to so many great people in the world and I can understand why they fall towards sin.

<Staff Edit>

You may not know how much potential there is in your life, nor what lies ahead of you. Don't give up, trust God.

 

[brinny]

i respect your request not to have platitudes.

I'm sorry you feel as you do.

i'd just like to add that i sincerely hope that you see a light at the end of the tunnel.

It has always been a glorious and precious thing for me every time i have, after being in a very dark place, akin to a seemingly never-ending tunnel.

There is no light in Satanism.

Only darkness.

 

[MartinEngland]

<Staff Edit> Have you considered some serious research into the teachings of the Catholic church and the history of the Catholic church in comparison to the Bible and what the Bible teaches? If not, may I politely suggest you do?

This really helped me strengthen my faith and opened my eyes to a lot of dangers out there as a Christian, even beyond what we may perceive or expect.

That said, a lot of what you mentioned, although not nice, seems like various issues we can face in this world. It is my opinion we should learn from these circumstances and use them to strengthen us and our faith.

<Staff Edit>

I shall pray for you.

 

[LoyalToGod]

<Staff Edit> Have you considered some serious research into the teachings of the Catholic church and the history of the Catholic church in comparison to the Bible and what the Bible teaches? If not, may I politely suggest you do?

This really helped me strengthen my faith and opened my eyes to a lot of dangers out there as a Christian, even beyond what we may perceive or expect.

That said, a lot of what you mentioned, although not nice, seems like various issues we can face in this world. It is my opinion we should learn from these circumstances and use them to strengthen us and our faith.

<Staff Edit>

I shall pray for you.

I can sense your compassion in your voice. Thank you for being polite and kind about your advice<Staff Edit>.

 

[MartinEngland]

I can sense your compassion in your voice. Thank you for being polite and kind about your advice<Staff Edit>.

Hey no problem, I appreciate your reply too. However, I hope you can take the advice, that's more important to me

 

[Ken Rank]

What am I to do?

Whatever you truly feel led to do, but allow me a couple of words? God is not the only Spirit that can whisper in your ear. So if you hear something that so stands against the character of God and is damaging to you or others, I would suggest not listening to that spirit.

Please consider this.... how do you grow physically? We eat well, run, lift, we do things that stretch our muscles and cause pain and it is through that pain that we grow faster, stronger, and have more endurance. Well, it is the same in the spirit... sometimes we have to go through certain events in life, some are painful, some include the loss of friends and family, disease, all many of things that are not necessarily on our priority list when comes to things we would like to experience. Yet through those trials and experiences we grow in the spirit IF WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO. We can cower down and assume we're cursed, that all of this isn't worth it... or we take the view of a Job and stand firm and allow God to teach us through these times. I would imagine Loyal... that you are simply being groomed for great things. I have seen people lose multiple children and when you think they should just throw in the towel... they grow through it and change the lives of others dealing with similar pains. I can't imagine what you feel like, I don't even want to guess. But I do believe that God uses tribulation to refine us and make us stronger... if we let Him. So, it's really just up to you.

Blessings.
Ken

 

[LoyalToGod]

Whatever you truly feel led to do, but allow me a couple of words? God is not the only Spirit that can whisper in your ear. So if you hear something that so stands against the character of God and is damaging to you or others, I would suggest not listening to that spirit.

Please consider this.... how do you grow physically? We eat well, run, lift, we do things that stretch our muscles and cause pain and it is through that pain that we grow faster, stronger, and have more endurance. Well, it is the same in the spirit... sometimes we have to go through certain events in life, some are painful, some include the loss of friends and family, disease, all many of things that are not necessarily on our priority list when comes to things we would like to experience. Yet through those trials and experiences we grow in the spirit IF WE ALLOW OURSELVES TO. We can cower down and assume we're cursed, that all of this isn't worth it... or we take the view of a Job and stand firm and allow God to teach us through these times. I would imagine Loyal... that you are simply being groomed for great things. I have seen people lose multiple children and when you think they should just throw in the towel... they grow through it and change the lives of others dealing with similar pains. I can't imagine what you feel like, I don't even want to guess. But I do believe that God uses tribulation to refine us and make us stronger... if we let Him. So, it's really just up to you.

Blessings.
Ken

You make a lot of sense. Thank you

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

How old are you by chance? I feel like theres something here I am missing. Are you a teen? The words you use remind of one. Words like crush, clingy creep, wrestling...etc.

I ask to because if you are young then you need to realize life isn't some great amazing thing like you see in "feel good" movies. To many young women I have talked to sort of have a fantasy idea of what life should be like, even more so as a christian. But christians have struggles to. Again if I knew your age I could put things worded better but until then I can tell you at your age I would have settled for those struggles you have. Not comparing lemons of course because depression in the end is very hard no matter how much struggling you do.

Let me ask, what is it you expect from God that would make you not quit being a christian? Because if its anything like me expectations, I was disappointed. For a long time I seen God as a genie. I ask and get what I want. If not then obviously He did not love me. Any problem I had I blamed Him. After all I thought He was in control.

But heres what I learned. We leave Him, He does not leave us. The fact your alive as of this moment is something to be thankful for. The fact you have internet access, food, clothes, a place to sleep, money...etc are things to thank God for.

Maybe you don't feel loved because maybe your not in love with the God you envisioned in your head (as I was). Maybe you should change your view on who and what God is/does. Or obviously maybe its something you need to see a counselor for or get a prescription. I had too and it did help. But it didn't help as much as I wanted it to. Coming to understand God more helped me be less depressed.

Now, why did He let things happens to you? Well we have free will. If for example you try to juggle chainsaws for the first time, God isn't going to magically protect you. Its up to you. Like wise if someone does something to you, its because they chose to. And out of any of these pains we can grow from them. Though that depends on if we look at it that way. I never looked at it like that and all I seen was God obviously wanted me to suffer and die.

But later one when helped by other christians I looked back and see His plans. In one example during my grand mal seizure I ended up with a TBI (traumatic brain injury). Lost my memory, some of my vision, alot of my schooling....etc. And of course at the time I became suicidal for years. But as I said looking back I realize God helped me grow from that event. He didn't cause it to happen but if not for it I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be more compassionate, more caring...etc.

For now you may not see what it is that God is helping you with/helping you to grow but in the future you may. Now as for Satanism. I did abandon God, swore at Him, told people He was not real. I after became a very dark person. Did things that would make some non-christians go "Wow!" to. I'm thankful I am not in prison. Theres nothing down that path that will make you better. It just involves more and more anger, more and more depression, more and more hatred and in the end more and more aloneness. Which means of course more suicidal thoughts. I'll be kind of silly here but you basically become Anakin Skywalker (Darth Vader) from Star Wars. Its a path you do not want.

But God was still watching me trying to guide me down a different path. Now you might say "But even if Hes not responsible, its still not fair! I shouldn't suffer because I thought God loved me!". Well to be blunt life is not fair. Since Eve bit the apple sin has entered the world and now everything is terrible. Death is something that happens. Hate is something that happens.

Becoming a christian means you rely on God for strength, hope, joy...etc because we cannot do it on our own. Why do you think people addicted to drugs, drinking, gambling never stop? Its because what they do is temporary happiness. Until their last day on this earth they will never find true happiness. Actually I'd say in todays world where things are getting worse before His return, if anything being a christian may be harder at times. Looking at the election, ALOT of people hate christians more then ever.

But in the end you need to ask do you want to love God, trust in Him, truly believe in Him and make it through your life and get to see Him at the end. Or turn from Him and partake more in the worldly stuff and end up dying and going somewhere else.

I'd find a new church to go to. Get some help from someone there who can help you with all the questions you have. Maybe they can set you up with a bible study. Now this last part I wanted to avoid but it says you are a catholic, maybe you should try a non-catholic church. Also I just realized you never mention Jesus. Do you have a relationship with Him? I ask because some catholic churches sort of leave Him as a side note.

---edit---
Looking through your past posts I made some discoveries. You said:
"I must be really pathetic... I admit it: I hate my life. I'm 24, without a car, no job, living with mom, and I'm a loser..."

The environment we live in can affect us greatly! Such as with my mother who was a controlling, screaming, raging person at times. That did not help my depression at all when I was younger. Also living at home isn't a terrible thing. If people are twlling you it is or pressuring you into feeling like a "loser" then ignore them. Would God say your a loser for living at home? No. Actually more and more people are having to move in with other family to survive today.

Me? My wife and I are in our 30s and live with my parents. I don't drive (because I can't), my wife got here not to long ago so she hasn't gottena license yet either. And finding a job? For her its been very hard. Young or old jobs are harder to come by. Even for those with fancy degrees.

<Staff Edit>

Now I am by no means perfect, I'm very flawed. But as you grow in Christ you will start to see there are somethings you should not be doing or at least realize Jesus would not approve. I had to get rid of ALOT of bad stuff I was doing in my life before I noticed changes in my life overall thanks to God. By that I mean sometimes God may not be helping us as much because hes waiting for us to change something that we are refusing to let go of.

<Staff Edit> Truth is that many I've seen in your past posts try to help you. You ask for help but when given certain answers you get frustrated and leave the conversation. I get that, I did the same at first. Heck I even yelled at people for judging/criticizing me on here too.

But in the end alot of them were right about changes I needed to make. And if not for them I imagine I'd be dead by now, single, homeless and who knows what else.

 

[chevyontheriver]

.

 

[Press On]

<Staff Edit>

Mixed bag of posts on here for sure, but I think I know about you well enough from past conversations with you that I hope you will consider what I write.

I am almost 64. I think and reason completely differently now than from when I was in my 20s. Don't quit.

Earlier this year I was thinking about spiritual stuff WAY too much to the point my soul was vexed by my own musings. It's ok to be somewhat agnostic for the time being; to say: "I really am not sure about some things."

I experimented with New Age big time in the 60s and 70s for about 10 years. I had paranormal contacts (2 way), out of body experiences and such. This stuff is real and will slowly destroy you while under the guise of being friendly and "helping" you on your journey. Agnosticism, just not worrying about stuff so much, may assuage your anger and frustration toward God for now.

When things are going well for you and you have posted about them, we who know your stuggles are rejoicing. You have shown awesome spiritual wisdom and insight; you have it in you.

I hope you know I care for you as I have known you via these forums. NothingIsImpossible and Ken Rank have some especially well thought out responses to you; please consider re-reading and pondering them when you feel better and are properly rested.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Hi Loyal. I'm just back from another excursion into depression, but am pretty stable right now.

Mixed bag of posts on here for sure, but I think I know about you well enough from past conversations with you that I hope you will consider what I write.

I am almost 64. I think and reason completely differently now than from when I was in my 20s. Don't quit.

Earlier this year I was thinking about spiritual stuff WAY too much to the point my soul was vexed by my own musings. It's ok to be somewhat agnostic for the time being; to say: "I really am not sure about some things."

I experimented with New Age big time in the 60s and 70s for about 10 years. I had paranormal contacts (2 way), out of body experiences and such. This stuff is real and will slowly destroy you while under the guise of being friendly and "helping" you on your journey. Agnosticism, just not worrying about stuff so much, may assuage your anger and frustration toward God for now.

When things are going well for you and you have posted about them, we who know your stuggles are rejoicing. You have shown awesome spiritual wisdom and insight; you have it in you.

I hope you know I care for you as I have known you via these forums. NothingIsImpossible and Ken Rank have some especially well thought out responses to you; please consider re-reading and pondering them when you feel better and are properly rested.

Thank you for ACTUALLY helping me <Staff Edit>. And thanks for being non-judgmental.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

Dear LoyalToGod,
Some very good posts among the mix, I can agree with brinny who has suffered and come through stronger, able to help so many with her knowledge of the Father.

i'd just like to add that i sincerely hope that you see a light at the end of the tunnel.

It has always been a glorious and precious thing for me every time i have, after being in a very dark place, akin to a seemingly never-ending tunnel.

There is no light in Satanism.

Only darkness.

I have seen people lose multiple children and when you think they should just throw in the towel... they grow through it and change the lives of others dealing with similar pains.

I have suffered from bad depression, most recently last year, watching my son suffer so much and die from pancreatic cancer. I spent a lot of time just wanting to die because I missed him so much and couldn't face the world without him.

I thank my friends on this forum for helping me through this darkness, and a very understanding pastor who showed me what the bible had to say about heaven and the new earth.

This last few months, I felt the strength to say, yes I want to live.
and thank you to the Lord...he didn't let go of me...

I pray to the Lord that he will reveal himself to you and grant you real certainty and clear understanding, in Jesus name

 

[Truthfrees]

MOD HAT
Closed for review.

 

[God's Child]

This thread is being reopened. It has undergone a clean up due to multiple rule violations. Many posts were unhelpful, debating, and flaming. If you noticed a post of yours missing it was removed in the clean up.

Please remember Recovery is for support and encouragement only and no debating is allowed.

Please refer to the Recovery Guidelines found here before posting. Thank you.

 

[Dwells]

Whenever I have gone through hard times, I have wrestled with God. It's allowed.
Do you remember Jobs friends when they suggested that he must have done something wrong to deserve all the trials that he encountered.....with friends like that who needs enemies right? And sometimes we don't need friends to say things like that and we say it to ourselves. We beat ourselves up wondering what did we do wrong to deserve such hard times, when in fact you may have done nothing wrong.
Belief in God doesn't always remove us from what happens in this world, but He does promise to offer us comfort and a way to get through it if we choose to accept His presence in our lives, no matter what happens. God is there, for better or worse...just like a good marriage....but both parties have to at least participate and talk about it. Don't give up.
Hugs.

 

[LoyalToGod]

Whenever I have gone through hard times, I have wrestled with God. It's allowed.
Do you remember Jobs friends when they suggested that he must have done something wrong to deserve all the trials that he encountered.....with friends like that who needs enemies right? And sometimes we don't need friends to say things like that and we say it to ourselves. We beat ourselves up wondering what did we do wrong to deserve such hard times, when in fact you may have done nothing wrong.
Belief in God doesn't always remove us from what happens in this world, but He does promise to offer us comfort and a way to get through it if we choose to accept His presence in our lives, no matter what happens. God is there, for better or worse...just like a good marriage....but both parties have to at least participate and talk about it. Don't give up.
Hugs.

Thank you for your compassionate response. And nice Santa Claus pic!

 

[God's Child]

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