I'm not sure if this is right

[Take Heart]

I personally have chosen to be celibate. Is there a such thing where God, despite your own wishes regarding the matter of choosing to marry to choosing to remain single, wills for you to marry even though you don't want that for yourself?

Would I be going against God's will for me to marry [if that even is His will for me]?

Is there a such thing? I have my own reasons for choosing to remain single. I also am comforted by scripture on this matter where Paul talks about remaining single.

I'm asking because..this topic came up on our way to Church this morning. And I'm a tad confused now if I am going against His will in opening my heart to the possibility of marriage when I wholeheartedly want to remain single.

 

[Cearbhall]

I would highly recommend not even considering marrying someone if you don't want to marry. That's not fair to them.

 

[Paulie079]

God is not a God of confusion. There isn't anything in Scripture indicating that either marriage or singleness is His will for every person, so unless you feel Him calling you personally to one or the other, you can know that you aren't acting contrary to His will.

 

[Take Heart]

I would highly recommend not even considering marrying someone if you don't want to marry. That's not fair to them.

I absolutely agree. It's not fair to either of us. I am part of a culture in which marriage is something to be expected of women my age/range. It's almost looked down upon if you aren't married yet. It's not a constant issue that comes up. It's rare..but somehow I end up slightly confused like I'm going against God for choosing to remain single. I currently don't have any suitors though. This is just a topic that came up during a car ride to Church.

 

[Drick]

God is not a God of confusion. There isn't anything in Scripture indicating that either marriage or singleness is His will for every person, so unless you feel Him calling you personally to one or the other, you can know that you aren't acting contrary to His will.

Well... there is Paul's letter to the Corinthians:

7:1: Now as to the matters of which you wrote: It is good (beneficial, advantageous) for a man not to touch a woman [outside marriage].
2: But because of [the temptation to participate in] sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

~Amplified Bible

That's certainly not a mandate, but it's a strong suggestion, and it's well-known that celibacy is physically unhealthy for men.

 

[Take Heart]

@Paulie079
Thank you so much.. your words have comforted me greatly. I just feel a bit 'thrown off' by the rare topic that was brought up. I don't personally feel led at all to marry. I know I shouldn't make decisions based solely by 'feelings', it's just not something I desire.

 

[Paulie079]

Well... there is Paul's letter to the Corinthians:

7:1: Now as to the matters of which you wrote: It is good (beneficial, advantageous) for a man not to touch a woman [outside marriage].
2: But because of [the temptation to participate in] sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

~Amplified Bible

That's certainly not a mandate, but it's a strong suggestion, and it's well-known that celibacy is physically unhealthy for men.

The Bible holds marriage in high regard both implicitly and explicitly. That verse can be an encouragement especially to those who don't desire marriage but also to those who might desire it but simply haven't experienced it yet. But if you look across Scripture, God created both man and woman and told them to multiply. There are lots of proverbs about the joy of marriage (ex. "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.") The Bible describes marriage as a present-day picture of the gospel, Jesus furnishes a wedding with wine, and Revelation specifically describes a wedding feast that we will enjoy with Christ in heaven. So I would say the Bible provides us with reasons to be content and experience joy regardless of our relationship status.

Also, I disagree with your last statement. I think that is a lie of a culture that preaches sexual freedom. We know for a fact that God's will for us is that we would abstain from sex outside of marriage. That being the case, He wouldn't create us in such a way that it would be harmful to us to be obedient to Him.

 

[Paulie079]

@Paulie079
Thank you so much.. your words have comforted me greatly. I just feel a bit 'thrown off' by the rare topic that was brought up. I don't personally feel led at all to marry. I know I shouldn't make decisions based solely by 'feelings', it's just not something I desire.

There's nothing wrong with that at all It just means God has different ministry opportunities for you than the married person whose primary ministry is to his/her family.

 

[leothelioness]

I personally have chosen to be celibate. Is there a such thing where God, despite your own wishes regarding the matter of choosing to marry to choosing to remain single, wills for you to marry even though you don't want that for yourself?

Would I be going against God's will for me to marry [if that even is His will for me]?

Is there a such thing? I have my own reasons for choosing to remain single. I also am comforted by scripture on this matter where Paul talks about remaining single.

I'm asking because..this topic came up on our way to Church this morning. And I'm a tad confused now if I am going against His will in opening my heart to the possibility of marriage when I wholeheartedly want to remain single.

David says in the Psalms, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." That doesn't mean that He will give us what we desire, but that He will place His desires in our heart in accordance with His will. He has given you this desire in your heart to remain single in service to Him, so you are within His will in doing so.

 

[Drick]

David says in the Psalms, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." That doesn't mean that He will give us what we desire, but that He will place His desires in our heart in accordance with His will. He has given you this desire in your heart to remain single in service to Him, so you are within His will in doing so.

Are you sure? It sounds to me like what it's saying plainly is something to the effect of "Align yourself wisely (or "with the Lord") and you will achieve your goals". Nothing there implies that your desires will be altered by God.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

you're fine...carry on.

don't feel like your world is falling apart if you happen to meet that special guy as some point though.

 

[Mydnyte]

Nothing wrong, if that's what you feel you should do.

Forcing yourself into a relationship or marriage you don't want to be in is only going to leave you absolutely miserable and as someone else mentioned unfair to your mate.

 

[leothelioness]

Are you sure? It sounds to me like what it's saying plainly is something to the effect of "Align yourself wisely (or "with the Lord") and you will achieve your goals". Nothing there implies that your desires will be altered by God.

If it were interpreted that way, then God would simply be a means to an end. Pentecostals like to use that interpretation to bolster their prosperity gospel.

We are to seek His will above our own and indeed He will conform our will and desires to His own for His purposes.

 

[Saucy]

I do personally align myself with God saying it's not good for man to be alone and that He created us for relationships. People who are alone typically have all sorts of health issues and depression, especially later in life. But nowhere is it a command to marry. You have the free will to choose.

And if you do end up married some day, it will be because you met someone who changed your mind and YOU decided it was what you wanted. I don't think God will force you to marry if that's ultimately what you don't want.

 

[timewerx]

Is there a such thing? I have my own reasons for choosing to remain single. I also am comforted by scripture on this matter where Paul talks about remaining single.

Paul also explained why... Marriage is a temptation to be worldly and walk away from God's Will.

What if you married a person who isn't worldly?

What if you married a person who does God's will?

Then Paul's warnings don't apply in such case Marriage can be just as Godly as being Celibate for God if you marry the right person. Perhaps, the reason why Paul gave such stern warnings is that it's very difficult to find such person because they are very rare!

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I know personally for me God wants me to marry although I had been determined to stay single till the end. I know this because I was talking to God and felt a strong tug or voice that said you will marry. And then having been in no relationship ever now find myself in a relationship with marriage already being the target. So its a funny thing really. As paul says who can resist God's will.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

The OP sounds a lot like what I would have said years ago on the subject. My encouragement would be to put the topic on the back-burner for the time being and focus on a walk with God. He said He would give us the desires of our hearts. Whether or not that's celibacy or marriage, maybe that's yet to be seen. If it's singleness that means you'll have more time and resources to serve the Lord. But if He wants you to get married then that will stay a burden and desire too (which is all good with its responsibilities as well)

One promise I like is from Philippians is that if we have our minds set on something then it's ultimately God who can and will set us straight and make His will known to us.