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Featured I'm not sure how to react in this situation

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Milos, Nov 29, 2017.

  1. Milos

    Milos Member

    5
    +10
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    I am currently in college and dorming. I was bullied the very first day for how I look physically, it is my genetics I have no control over how my facial shape is unless I get plastic surgery which I won't do. Other things that happened was being called a future school shooter, or terrorist because I am partially middle eastern. I have no control over my ethnicity or racial build up either. I know all of this sounds ironic and ridiculous in a college setting, but this is real and it can happen to anyone although yes I would agree it wouldn't be too common in a college environment maybe I am just unlucky this time.

    I just ignored the bullies and moved on, I try to become the bigger man. But that didn't work and bullying has just gotten worse. I believe that there are false terrible rumors circulating about me behind my back, I have lost potential friends. Those who were friendly with me before, all of a sudden have such hatred towards me and will stare me down whenever they can. Out of disappointment I decided it is not worth to regain their friendship if they are that narrow minded about someone. Right now the bullying has reached a point where I cannot tolerate this at all anymore. Random people who I do not know tell me to kill myself, I get called sub-human scum, and sometimes people physically shove me whenever they see me. I am trying to figure out what it is that is making people do this, I cannot sleep at night and I'm having nightmares from these events.

    Although I have joined a Church near my school, and found a couple friends it does help bring back my self confidence. I don't know how to explain to them my situation as I have already lost a friend since he believes if one is experiencing bullying then they deserve it. I can partially understand where he is coming from but that isn't true 100% of the time, sometimes the one receiving the bullying is the victim.

    All I want is for this hatred to stop, when there are people wanting me dead and to attack me this is too much for me to handle.

    On another note the bullying I am experiencing is strictly happening on housing, I have rarely experienced bullying in my classes.
     
  2. faroukfarouk

    faroukfarouk Fading curmudgeon

    +11,449
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    Like in some Middle Eastern countries also - with which you may be familiar - mindless nationalism can sometimes distort people's views of things.

    It's good however to learn to love God's Word, which for the believer is a lamp unto one's feet and a light unto one's path (Psalm 11.105). It is good for a young man to be cleansed in his ways (Psalm 119.9). It is wonderful by faith to know the Lord Jesus who died at the Cross for sinners (John 3.16). It is a blessing to find others who follow God's Word (Acts 2.41-42).

    I hope your studies go well. :)
     
  3. Bro. Daniel

    Bro. Daniel Prophet & Psalmist

    103
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    Isaiah 54:17
    No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of Me,” saith the Lord.

    Proverbs 26:2
    As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come.

    James 4:11-12
    11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
    12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

    These verses teach us, we cannot be cursed by someone without a cause and those who rise up against us in judgment shall be condemned or 'chastised', which is more a practical synonymous term.

    If their hateful behavior isn't stopped before reaching a tipping point, it will eat at you slowly causing frustration, bitterness and unforgiveness towards them which the devil wants for you causing you to miss Heaven and them if they continue. So in this case, we pray for our enemies with a blessing of returning it back to them and allow God to handle the situation and not ourselves.

    Romans 12:19
    19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

    Sometimes some people have to be humbled to learn a lesson and learn from their mistakes. God can make that happen if we pray as long as it's within His Will bringing them to Him. The Apostle Paul is a good example.

    First, forgive them for they know not what they do. Then, ask God forgiveness if you've had any bitterness or ill will towards them or spoken anything against them in retaliation. Then watch your Mighty God battle on your behalf from the prayer below in Yahushua's name.

    Prayer:
    Heavenly Father Yahuah, please cancel, nullify and destroy every curse and negative word spoken against @Milos his bullies have invoked upon him with Your Fire and reverse it back to them until they repent bringing them unto Your Bosom to become willing vessels working for You by the Power, Authority and Mighty Name of Yahushua HaMashiach, King Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

    Shalom and blessings,

    Philippians 4:20
     
  4. Radagast

    Radagast has left CF

    +1,786
    Australia
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    This all sounds very unpleasant. There are a number of options, but one of them is: do you need to be dorming?
     
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  5. Kit Sigmon

    Kit Sigmon Well-Known Member

    +901
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Document everything.
    Contact dean of student...report bullying and harassment...this is nothing to
    keep quiet about.
    Inform your parents about what you're experiencing at college.
    Do not hesitate to contact campus security and or police if you feel threatened.
     
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  6. Radagast

    Radagast has left CF

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    There is an escalating scale of options:
    1. Move out of the dorm (to another dorm or off-campus)
    2. Try and resolve it yourself or with friends
    3. Ask for help from the people that run the dorm
    4. Ask for help from student counsellors (or similar) on campus
    5. Make a formal complaint to the dorm administration
    6. Make a formal complaint to University administration
    7. Make a formal complaint to the police / human rights agencies
    In general, the low-end options, if they work, are better.

    I hope and pray that this will be resolved.
     
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  7. Soyeong

    Soyeong Well-Known Member

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    Romans 12:20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

    Bullies want to compete with you to see who can be the meanest, and they are happy when you play their game, so don't play their game by competing with them to see who can be the nicest. It is much easier for a bully to continue to insult someone who responds by insulting them back and much more difficult for a bully to continue to insult someone who responds by complimenting them, telling them what you like about them, being friendly to them, etc., because you are exposing the injustice of their actions rather than giving them further justification. Hate cannot drive our hate, only love can.
     
  8. discipler7

    discipler7 Active Member

    333
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    Heard Island And Mcdonald Islands
    Christian
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    .
    In USA, Middle-Eastern Muslim terrorists are much hated. By association, Sikhs and yourself too.
    ... So, publicly, you need to let others know that you are not a Middle Eastern Muslim but an Eastern Orthodox Christian, eg wear a Christian T-shirt, Cross necklace, carry a large Bible, etc.
     
  9. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie

    +1,276
    Christian
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    That you are being bullied so severely in a college setting is disturbing. Have you contacted your R.A., reached out to campus mental health services, or to a professor for help? This seems to only be getting worse. As someone wisely asked, is it absolutely neccesary to be in a dorm?
     
  10. Radagast

    Radagast has left CF

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    Not a bad idea, perhaps. Probably not this one.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member

    +1,020
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    Married
    First of all start keeping a diary recording what happens where, when and by whom. Be perfectly open about this.
    Are there people who will speak up for you be witnesses to this bullying?
    Talk to your college administrators and ask them what are they going to do about this abuse.
    Also get legal advice about your rights and the colleges responcibilities.
     
  12. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +13,769
    Anglican
    Married
    That's not actually true. Theyre often mistaken for Moslems by people who know little about these religions.

    Not to counter the other good suggestions that have been made, but the above--wear a cross--seems like an easy and worthwhile thing to try, perhaps in conjunction with the other actions that have been put forth.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2017
  13. Sarah G

    Sarah G Human bean. Supporter

    742
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    I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It is indeed outrageous that such immaturity could occur on a college campus. Thank God it is not happening in classes. I pray that you will find courage and comfort in the Holy Spirit and feel the presence of Lord Jesus Christ strongly in your life. I pray that the situation resolves itself soon, according to the perfect, divine will of Jehovah, Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.
    Sorry that I don't have advice, I am really shocked at the immaturity of your fellow students.
     
  14. Milos

    Milos Member

    5
    +10
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Hello fellow Christians, I have a Cross that was passed over to me as a gift and I have been wearing it. It has really helped stop the bullying but members of my Church tell me that it is wrong to wear it since they believe I am committing Idolatry. They tell me satan is using these people to draw me away from God, and that I must keep strong and not let them have any effects on me.

    John 15:18 "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first."

    I also have forgot to switch my denomination, since I am non-denominational now. In Eastern Orthodox however I was told it is ok to wear the Cross. As long as I do not use it as an Idol of worship, and do not let the Cross define me as a Christian but rather my commitment to Gods commands, while also following the Bible. It is just tough for me not to wear it since I'm being bullied so badly is hard for me to endure.

    To respond to the following advice, I will make an attempt to report these situation to the dean of students. I have just had a sense that since this is college that I have to handle my problems on my own and that there was no one there for me in the past.

    When it comes to commuting, I think it may be a viable option since my home is around an hour or so away. I can study while on the train, so my time is being used wisely.

    Thank you for all your responses, and advice. God Bless you.
    Sorry for the run-on sentences.
     
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  15. Bro. Daniel

    Bro. Daniel Prophet & Psalmist

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    They're right. Isaiah 3 says we shouldn't wear jewelry.
    Jewelry represented slavery during God's childrens captivity in Egypt and makes God angry as it reminds Him of their folly at Mt. Sinai. (Exodus 32)
    God gives grace for wedding bands if one is married to prevent adultery.

    Your fruits will speak of your true faith in Christ per Matthew 7:15-20 so jewelry or objects are forms of symbolism and unnecessary. There's also a deeper spiritual implication wearing it but the discussion will become lengthy.

    Blessings and Shalom,
    Philippians 4:20
    Numbers 6:24-26
     
  16. discipler7

    discipler7 Active Member

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    They are quite wrong. ...
    Is it OK for Christians to Wear a Cross?
     
  17. God bless Joshua

    God bless Joshua Member

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    Protestant
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    Its just a phase in your life that will be passed.
    We dont make friend with people who like bullying other people either.

    They dont have 'forever' and if they dont repent the Death will seal their fate for eternity.

    I had similar experience, some people who mocked and bullied me have passed away in grief already by illness, not because what they have done to me but because life is just a moment, people die everyday, young and old !

    Dont take revenge, give it to God, may Jesus give you strength. Amen.
     
  18. All4Christ

    All4Christ +The Handmaid of God Laura+ Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

    +3,886
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    To change your faith icon, you can use the Contact Us at the bottom of the website and submit a ticket asking for it to be changed.
     
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  19. Radagast

    Radagast has left CF

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    Wearing a cross is idolatry? Huh? And you say you're Orthodox?
     
  20. All4Christ

    All4Christ +The Handmaid of God Laura+ Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

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    He said in that same post that he is no longer Orthodox. (Until I read that part about him changing to non-denominational, it threw me off as well since we have our baptismal cross on all the time, though it isn’t meant to be used like jewelry in the fashion sense).
     
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