Ok so I messed up many times in my life, and never been genuinely told by my parents that they're proud of me, except during the end of high school because they think graduating from high school is like winning the Nobel peace prize. They were never truly proud of me, and I came to realize that now. No matter what I do to make up for my failures that affected them, nothing changes. So I give up. There's no point in pleasing others around you and making them proud of you; not yourself, your sibling, or your parents! I decided to be someone completely different; not the nice, obedient, respectful sap I always was. Being different from what I am makes me a lot more successful in life and less foolish than being myself. I don't even know why I'm here, I just came here to express what's going on in my life, and hear people's opinions, or possibly even get people to be more happy for me than anyone else has ever been of me.
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The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.
If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
I'm mad at myself..
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I am praying that Jesus Christ comforts you and is a healing balm to your pain.
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It's a hurtful thing to come to this realization. It may well be true, but the first thing I would consider is that some people cannot express positive feelings toward others. It's not right, but that's the way it is. They haven't found freedom themselves. You don't have to place yourself under them again, but it may help to understand why they're the way they are.
Secondly, if it is true, beware of going too far in your reaction. It's a good thing to step out of futile behavior patterns, but not to the point of violating conscience. Our consciences are not perfect, and need sober examination, but respect your conscience unless you can prove it wrong, lest you do damage to yourself.
Third, there is One who is always faithful, no matter what man does. David writes, "when father and mother desert me, the Lord will take me up". Parents are never perfect. They inherited flaws just like we did, and the world gets a hold of them, just like us, and twists into pretzels. The Bible says we are to place our trust in God, not man. If you esteem Christ as Lord in your heart, you will be protected from overreacting to the flaws in others, and by so doing, joining in their sins. Pursue God in all this, and stay true to Him first of all. It will be a protection for you, and the way forward.
And while the Bible says to trust God rather than man, there is a proper trust we can place in people, with the Lord's blessing. In addition to prayer and the Word, try to find others who will encourage you on your journey with the Lord. God works through people too.
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stuart lawrence
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I was raised in a christian household. My sister was much listened to and her opinions respected. My opinions didn't seem to matter. I couldn't be good enough for my parents so gave up trying. I had tried to perform perfect and couldn't. So I went off the deep end.
But rebelling and being someone I wasn't couldn't make me happy. Can it really make you happy to be someone you are not?
I dont wish to preach
But what profit is there in gaining the whole world if you forfeit your soul in the process?
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It's not like I'm giving up my soul. And I never said I'm abandoning God either. And even though I can't be happy doing it, it's for my own good.
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DaisyDay
I Did Nothing Wrong!! ~~Team Deep State
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What do you mean by "messed up"? That can mean anything from misplacing the car keys to winding up in jail with an opioid addiction.
Everyone messes up more or less, but depressed people obsess on it while undepressed people tend not to remember it.
You ask, "Can it really make you happy to be someone you are not?" No, because that isn't you; however, we are not simply one way all the time. Pay attention to what does make you happy, genuinely happy - write it down if you have to, because depressed people tend to forget that they were ever happy.
It's a shame your parents were like that, but there is nothing you can do about it but forgive them - not for their sake, but for your own, so that you don't drown in bitterness and sorrow. When you forgive them, you become free of them and what they did to you.
We're social creatures; we need approval. I hope you find it in people worthy of you.
Everyone messes up more or less, but depressed people obsess on it while undepressed people tend not to remember it.
You ask, "Can it really make you happy to be someone you are not?" No, because that isn't you; however, we are not simply one way all the time. Pay attention to what does make you happy, genuinely happy - write it down if you have to, because depressed people tend to forget that they were ever happy.
It's a shame your parents were like that, but there is nothing you can do about it but forgive them - not for their sake, but for your own, so that you don't drown in bitterness and sorrow. When you forgive them, you become free of them and what they did to you.
We're social creatures; we need approval. I hope you find it in people worthy of you.
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