I'm Having A Difficult Time With This

[Katastrophe]

For the past 23 years I have been married to a man who has always insisted that the family attend a local church together as a family. Last weekend, out of the blue, he announced that he would no longer be attending church with the rest of the family. I asked "why?" He says....."it's between God and me!"

We got into a bit of a hassle over it yesterday. I was feeling angry, betrayed, feel like I am being rejected by him. I feel this massive amount of emotions building up in me and I don't know what to do with it. If it hadn't been such a big deal all these years it would have had much less impact on me. But he always made it a priority.

Also, I think that he is hurting and somewhat depressed. His way of coping is to shut everyone out rather than to reach out to his fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord and let them help him. He always tries to put on this facade that everything is fine.

How could it be? We have been married almost 23 years. We are having serious marital problems. I am already in counseling.....but I don't know if he will go. Also we have 2 kids (well..there are not kids..they're 19 and 21) anyways they have schizophrenia. Everything is not "fine". But I trust that God will give me the strength and truth I need each day.

Thanks for listening. Does Anyone have any suggestions?

Sweetngentle

 

[standingby]

Hi Katastrophe,

Believe me when I say I completely understand all that you say you are going through. 

I was married for 27 years before my husband decided he didn't want 'me' and didn't want 'God' anymore.  We always attended the church that he wanted to attend.  He was even a deacon.  I never really understood what happened to him.  He just 'closed' everyone out.  He even went as far as to begin divorce proceedings behind my back...I was served the papers while I was with my son in a different state (my 2 year old grandson had just been in an automobile accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down).  I went to counseling but he never would until the judge forced him to, and then he really didn't participate.  It was very hard for me to accept this and to understand why God didn't seem to be helping.  I ended up having a complete breakdown over it...

I do not know what kind of advice I can give you concerning your situation.  I do wish that I had just stopped trying to 'fix' the situation myself, and let go by giving everything over to the Lord. 

God is so good, and even though we do not understand what is going through our 'spouses' mind - we can be secure about what goes on in our own.  I pray that the Lord will give you greater understanding concerning this issue, and that he will give you strength and a sense of self-worth.  I pray that he will touch your husband and help him to open up and seek help...to know that the Lord is loving and forgiving.

 

 

[Katastrophe]

standingby,
Thnx for your heart-felt reply. I'm afraid that the next thing I hear from my husband will him be wanting a divorce.
Kat

 

[lucypevensie]

Kat,

I pray that God gives you peace and direction in this difficult ordeal you're going through. I preay that He will bring people into your lives who will help you and your husband and help to save your marriage.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice

 

[MetalBlade]

I am not exactly for sure what you are trying to say! Is your husband not going at all now, because he changed ways??? Maybe he just jas personl problems that he needs to work out. Whatever the problem is you should always support him. My father was raised up as a christian and now he denounces the faith. You should be lucky to have had at one time you whole family going to church..