I'm done with God

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God. I've tried to do things his way but its clear that I will never had a real a relationship with him. I cannot see past my pain and frankly deep down I cannot reconcile the idea that God would every want me. I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny fool like me but I cannot accept a loving God.
Don't get me wrong I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.
Why go through all that pain and suffering for someone as worthless as me knowing I will never accept you ?
Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table and that's great and good for you but there is no place for me outside a dark cell left to rot and suffer the full weight of my actions. And for the record I in no way blame or am angry at God for the way I'am it is my fault I'm like this and mine alone.
If you want my advice, follow God build a real relationship with him and your live will be blessed unlike me you have a chance of redemption. I may be young but I'm too prideful stubborn and always the victim to take God on his offer but you don't have too.
Its been fun but I will be going I'm deleting this account and going for good I will never able to a relationship with God he is literally the king of kings and I'm a filthy rag meant to be burned to dust that is how it should be and that is how it is.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God. I've tried to do things his way but its clear that I will never had a real a relationship with him. I cannot see past my pain and frankly deep down I cannot reconcile the idea that God would every want me. I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny piece of [Staff Edit] like me but I cannot accept a loving God.
Don't get me wrong I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.
Why go through all that pain and suffering for someone as worthless as me knowing I will never accept you ?
Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table and that's great and good for you but there is no place for me outside a dark cell left to rot and suffer the full weight of my actions. And for the record I in no way blame or am angry at God for the way I'am it is my fault I'm like this and mine alone.
If you want my advice, follow God build a real relationship with him and your live will be blessed unlike me you have a chance of redemption. I may be young but I'm too prideful stubborn and always the victim to take God on his offer but you don't have too.
Its been fun but I will be going I'm deleting this account and going for good I will never able to a relationship with God he is literally the king of kings and I'm a filthy rag meant to be burned to dust that is how it should be and that is how it is.

You believe now recieve. His Holy Spirit. Only then will you find peace.
Blessings.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

John 3:16
God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that all who believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life.
God is good

 

[angelsaroundme]

Would you judge someone else as harshly as you judge yourself?

 

[atpollard]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God.

Ok.
If you have made up your mind, then nothing I can say will change your heart. Only God can change a heart.

I don’t know what makes you think that you are so terrible (and I don’t really care because that is none of my business). However, I can talk about what I do know. I know that I didn’t even believe that ‘god’ existed and I know that I set my enemies on fire and I know that God chose me and changed me. So clearly God does not choose to love people because we deserve it.

Take that and do something or nothing with that information. This is between you and God. I just wanted to share what I knew about God and Love and Worthless from my first-hand experience.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny piece of [Staff Edit] like me but I cannot accept a loving God.

If you truly believe all of this to be true about yourself, sir, then it is all the more reason for you to believe and accept that God is good and loving. Maybe things haven't gotten better for you yet and maybe you still have what you feel is too much of these massive character flaws you speak of in your OP, but if God will not let go of you after all of these things, then I see no reason for you to let go of Him.

 

[Saucy]

I'm so sorry you are struggling so bad. We can all say the same. People you think who have lived "blessed" lives, in their own way, probably feel the same way you do. We are all guilty. All of our righteousness is as filthy rags. But look at all of Christ's disciples. All of them were killed but one. Look at all the things Paul went through, from shipwrecks to being imprisoned to being beaten, whipped, and stoned.

Yet, Paul's response was: “For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God” ( 2 Corinthians 4:15 ). Suffering does serve a purpose beyond our understanding. They embraced it. So should you. I'm praying for you!

 

[d taylor]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God. I've tried to do things his way but its clear that I will never had a real a relationship with him. I cannot see past my pain and frankly deep down I cannot reconcile the idea that God would every want me. I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny piece of [Staff Edit] like me but I cannot accept a loving God.
Don't get me wrong I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.
Why go through all that pain and suffering for someone as worthless as me knowing I will never accept you ?
Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table and that's great and good for you but there is no place for me outside a dark cell left to rot and suffer the full weight of my actions. And for the record I in no way blame or am angry at God for the way I'am it is my fault I'm like this and mine alone.
If you want my advice, follow God build a real relationship with him and your live will be blessed unlike me you have a chance of redemption. I may be young but I'm too prideful stubborn and always the victim to take God on his offer but you don't have too.
Its been fun but I will be going I'm deleting this account and going for good I will never able to a relationship with God he is literally the king of kings and I'm a filthy rag meant to be burned to dust that is how it should be and that is how it is.

Try this site it may help, excellent teachings.

Grace Evangelical Society​

 

[St_Worm2]

I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table...

Hello DiscipleOfChrist85, have you considered Lazarus, the poor man (from the Luke 16)? What do you believe the meaning of his life was, and what do you believe that his life had "amounted to" to be considered worthy of eternal life by God? Should not the "rich man", whose life in this world clearly amounted to FAR more than Lazarus' did, have received eternal life instead Lazarus the beggar?

Luke 16
19 There was a rich man, and he habitually dressed in purple and fine linen, joyously living in splendor every day.
20 And a poor man named Lazarus was laid at his gate, covered with sores,
21 and longing to be fed with the crumbs which were falling from the rich man’s table; besides, even the dogs were coming and licking his sores.
22 Now the poor man died and was carried away by the angels to Abraham’s bosom; and the rich man also died and was buried.
23 In Hades he lifted up his eyes, being in torment, and saw Abraham far away and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried out and said, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus so that he may dip the tip of his finger in water and cool off my tongue, for I am in agony in this flame.’
25 But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that during your life you received your good things, and likewise Lazarus bad things; but now he is being comforted here, and you are in agony.
26 ‘And besides all this, between us and you there is a great chasm fixed, so that those who wish to come over from here to you will not be able, and that none may cross over from there to us.’
27 And he said, ‘Then I beg you, father, that you send him to my father’s house—
28 for I have five brothers—in order that he may warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’
29 But Abraham said, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them hear them.’
30 But he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent!’
31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be persuaded even if someone rises from the dead.’​

We all, every one of us, deserve to suffer and die to pay the penalty for our sins, so you are hardly alone in that! That's why the Lord Jesus came here as a man, to live a perfectly righteous life before His Father (the life that we needed to live before Him) on our behalf, and then to die in our stead on the Cross to pay the penalty for our sins, to reconcile us to His Father, and to save us from His wrath in the age to come.

So, salvation has everything to do with Him, and His choice to save us, and nothing whatsoever to do with the kind of people that we are (or the things that we have or have not accomplished). God values us as human beings, not as human doings.

Finally, do you truly understand what the Gospel/the "Good News" is, and (especially) what makes it "good" news?

God bless you!

--David

Mark 2
17 Jesus said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Romans 4
5 To the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the wicked/ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness.
.​

 

[Ceallaigh]

I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything.

Welcome to the club. And we are the sort of people Christ is looking to heal. The more 'not good enough' you are, the more Jesus wants you.

But when some of the Jewish religious leaders saw him eating with these men of ill repute, they said to his disciples, “How can he stand it, to eat with such scum?”

When Jesus heard what they were saying, he told them, “Sick people need the doctor, not healthy ones! I haven’t come to tell good people to repent, but the bad ones.” Mark 2:16-17

Then Jesus explained his meaning: “Surely evil men and prostitutes will get into the Kingdom before you do. Matthew 21:31


28 “But what do you think about this? A man with two sons told the older boy, ‘Son, go out and work on the farm today.’ 29 ‘I won’t,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. 30 Then the father told the youngest, ‘You go!’ and he said, ‘Yes, sir, I will.’ But he didn’t. 31 Which of the two was obeying his father?”

They replied, “The first, of course.”

Then Jesus explained his meaning: “Surely evil men and prostitutes will get into the Kingdom before you do. 32 For John the Baptist told you to repent and turn to God, and you wouldn’t, while very evil men and prostitutes did. And even when you saw this happening, you refused to repent, and so you couldn’t believe. Matthew 21:28-32

 

[BobRyan]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God. I've tried to do things his way but its clear that I will never had a real a relationship with him. I cannot see past my pain and frankly deep down I cannot reconcile the idea that God would every want me. I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny piece of [Staff Edit] like me but I cannot accept a loving God.
Don't get me wrong I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.
Why go through all that pain and suffering for someone as worthless as me knowing I will never accept you ?
Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table and that's great and good for you but there is no place for me outside a dark cell left to rot and suffer the full weight of my actions. And for the record I in no way blame or am angry at God for the way I'am it is my fault I'm like this and mine alone.
If you want my advice, follow God build a real relationship with him and your live will be blessed unlike me you have a chance of redemption. I may be young but I'm too prideful stubborn and always the victim to take God on his offer but you don't have too.
Its been fun but I will be going I'm deleting this account and going for good I will never able to a relationship with God he is literally the king of kings and I'm a filthy rag meant to be burned to dust that is how it should be and that is how it is.

you will be the loyal devoted servant of one king or the other. See Romans 6.

 

[trophy33]

Yeah I said it I'm done with God. I've tried to do things his way but its clear that I will never had a real a relationship with him. I cannot see past my pain and frankly deep down I cannot reconcile the idea that God would every want me. I will never understand what God sees in me and I can't for the life of me understand why he or anyone can love a lying hypocritical arrogant whiny piece of [Staff Edit] like me but I cannot accept a loving God.
Don't get me wrong I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.
Why go through all that pain and suffering for someone as worthless as me knowing I will never accept you ?
Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.
I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.
The rest of the people here have bright futures and actually have a place at Gods table and that's great and good for you but there is no place for me outside a dark cell left to rot and suffer the full weight of my actions. And for the record I in no way blame or am angry at God for the way I'am it is my fault I'm like this and mine alone.
If you want my advice, follow God build a real relationship with him and your live will be blessed unlike me you have a chance of redemption. I may be young but I'm too prideful stubborn and always the victim to take God on his offer but you don't have too.
Its been fun but I will be going I'm deleting this account and going for good I will never able to a relationship with God he is literally the king of kings and I'm a filthy rag meant to be burned to dust that is how it should be and that is how it is.

Sounds that you have a serious form of depression. Perhaps try to consult a psychologist?

It also seems you see just one side of the coin, regarding theology about our nature.

 

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

Sounds that you have a serious form of depression. Perhaps try to consult a psychologist?

What could an earthly psychologist do exactly ?
No amount of therapy or medicine will change anything.

 

[trophy33]

What could an earthly psychologist do exactly ?
No amount of therapy or medicine will change anything.

To help you with depression. Its a medical condition.

 

[DiscipleOfChrist85]

There is no helping my depression at least as far as I'm aware.

 

[Aldebaran]

I deserve to die and suffer for the wages of my sins and if I cannot die now then I will wait. My life is meaningless and I will never amount to anything. No I will take my punishment even if I must wait a thousand days or more there is no forgiveness for me no hope no salvation but that doesn't have to the case for anyone else.

Actually, we all deserve to die and suffer the wages of our sins. But Christ died and rose again for us so that we won't have to. You appear to be at the point of recognizing where you are. Now accept the gift of salvation Christ has offered you. No, you don't deserve it, nor does anyone else, but that's why it's called grace. It's something we can never earn.

 

[trophy33]

There is no helping my depression at least as far as I'm aware.

I cannot give you a professional medical advice, but try to look at how to treat depression.

For the start, sleep regularly, excercise, eat healthy food, find some meaning in your life (helping someone), get some pet... but these are just hints for you to think about/try, I do not know you well enough.

 

[Petros2015]

Why would you bother with it I'm toxic a walking bottle of poison constantly ruining everything and everyone around me.

He bothers with people like us
Because otherwise we'd say it was us
and not Him
Maybe some get a choice? I don't know
But for some...
"You don't get a choice, because if you did, you'd just choose wrong"
Now that... that's Salvation

 

[Unqualified]

I’ve been there and go through it the same. My way back was meds. Sometimes I still don’t believe him and fall. Submit to God, it’s for your own good. He loves you but doesn’t want to leave you there. He has a purpose for you, to try to understand and then be a witness for Him. You know, you do understand, submit. Serve that goodness.

God help him he knows, don’t let him resist your love, the help to get out of this. Allow him to be lifted up after such a humbling. ‘Humble yourself in the sight of the lord and he will lift you up’.

It’s true about you and me, but let God bring healing and a right spirit. Don’t give up your just starting. Repent and go on.

 

[Oompa Loompa]

I believe with all my heart that christ is the only true lord and savior of mankind and that he really did die for our sins and I respect him for it but I think his sacrifice was in vain.

It doesn't sound like you are "done with God." It sounds more like you believe God is done with you. Is that correct?