I'm done with God Too

[Tony101]

<staff edit> I have NEVER felt or experienced the supposed love of God in my life, EVER. And don't think it's because I didn't want it. I worked like a dog to get an education beyond High School. I did. I worked like a pack mule to have some sort of career. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, and I certainly didn't get rich over it. I spent my career doing good for others in the public safety field. I had loads of chances to really advance. All I had to do was dump on other people. I didn't. And I often suffered for it! But I did what I thought was right in the Eyes of God. <staff edit>. I'm Catholic and regret it. I'd have been happier as an Athiest or Agnostic. Everything I was taught about God and Jesus, that they love me, blah blah blah were all LIES. How is a first grade kid supposed to rationalize all the pretty words about God's love when his Avowed representatives physically and emotionally abuse you? No , not sexually. My father would have been convicted of murder of anyone who did that to me. But how is a stupid little kid supposed to feel God's, Jesus ... love when he's abused? Abused...have soap shoved in your mouth for sticking out my tongue at a kid in the first grade. Where <staff edit> was God and Jesus then? Where were they when a good <staff edit> Priest insults you for asking him to stop the bullying? Or getting a handful of hair pulled out to the point of me bleeding because I didn't do some assignment for class? Those are just the high lights. And if none of you ever experienced any of the above, then keep your <staff edit> comments to yourself! I made it beyond all that. It wasn't easy. And believe now that I did it on my own. I served in the military and was highly decorated. Don't insult me by thanking me for my service. You people sound like a <staff edit> parrot. Unless you served, keep your comments. A few years after my Honorable Discharge I got married, had a kid. Wife was a prescription drug abuse during her pregnancy, among other things. I divorced her. I was given Sole Custody of my daughter. She fled with my kid into several States who refused to honor my Custody Order. She raised my kid to hate. I begged God to help me. His "help" was me never having seen my child since! About my "careers"... I was injured in the line of duty, twice. Bye bye careers. 20+ years, two degrees, half the alphabet behind my name... I tore it all off the wall and threw it in the garage. Same with all my military garbage. I regret having served after Justice for my child custody was denied me. And unless anyone here has had their child stolen, keep it to yourself! Have you served, been injured, and then told to keep your shut under threat of Courts Martial? I will NEVER say the Pledge of Allegiance again! If I had the financial means I'd leave the US. My father was going to, but god killed him. can Where was God's love then? I'm sick and tired of hearing all the sweet <staff edit> about God's and Jesus....love. if all that is their love for me, I'm screwed when I'm dead. I'll be wisked into hell while they laugh! All my REAL friends, the Very Few I had , including decent family - are ALL DEAD! I Prayed and begged for some type of love and companionship...I ended up with another selfish evil wife, who ignored my needs. Left, and had me arrested on false criminal charges while she emptied the house, and held my cat for ransom. What little money I had left was wasted on that to clear my name and defend the false charges. Ive been totally alone since. Not by choice. But by God's and Jesus torment of me! In effect, I have No One in the world who cares if I live or die. If I were to die tonight, No One would know. No One would miss me until the mailbox was over stuffed and maybe the mail carrier might call someone? <staff edit> I've tried to "make friends" and all I ended up was being Used! My so called patron saint Anthony. I tore up his picture my stupid grandfather painted when I was wrongfully born and threw it in the garbage. I was born in the Height of the Cuban Missile Crisis when everyone thought they were going to die in the next 15 minutes. I wish everyone had pressed the "button" and let fly the missles! I see homeless people. And I've tried to help. Show me Jesus love for them? My home suffered damage from Hurricane Katrina. It still needs work I'll never be able to afford. Where was I during the storm? Running a shelter! I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm done with reading and hearing about God's, Jesus... love for me. I want to SEE IT. but I won't.

 

[W2L]

Welcome, It takes time to learn about love. never give up searching for love.

 

[Tony101]

I'll find Elvis before I find love

 

[razzelflabben]

My life has been nothing less than a living hell. I have NEVER felt or experienced the supposed love of God in my life, EVER. And don't think it's because I didn't want it. I worked like a dog to get an education beyond High School. I did. I worked like a pack mule to have some sort of career. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, and I certainly didn't get rich over it. I spent my career doing good for others in the public safety field. I had loads of chances to really advance. All I had to do was dump on other people. I didn't. And I often suffered for it! But I did what I thought was right in the Eyes of God. What a f*****n joke! I'm Catholic and regret it. I'd have been happier as an Athiest or Agnostic. Everything I was taught about God and Jesus, that they love me, blah blah blah were all LIES. How is a first grade kid supposed to rationalize all the pretty words about God's love when his Avowed representatives physically and emotionally abuse you? No , not sexually. My father would have been convicted of murder of anyone who did that to me. But how is a stupid little kid supposed to feel God's, Jesus ... love when he's abused? Abused...have soap shoved in your mouth for sticking out my tongue at a kid in the first grade. Where the hell was God and Jesus then? Where were they when a good d**m Priest insults you for asking him to stop the bullying? Or getting a handful of hair pulled out to the point of me bleeding because I didn't do some assignment for class? Those are just the high lights. And if none of you ever experienced any of the above, then keep your dam comments to yourself! I made it beyond all that. It wasn't easy. And believe now that I did it on my own. I served in the military and was highly decorated. Don't insult me by thanking me for my service. You people sound like a G.D parrot. Unless you served, keep your comments. A few years after my Honorable Discharge I got married, had a kid. Wife was a prescription drug abuse during her pregnancy, among other things. I divorced her. I was given Sole Custody of my daughter. She fled with my kid into several States who refused to honor my Custody Order. She raised my kid to hate. I begged God to help me. His "help" was me never having seen my child since! About my "careers"... I was injured in the line of duty, twice. Bye bye careers. 20+ years, two degrees, half the alphabet behind my name... I tore it all off the wall and threw it in the garage. Same with all my military garbage. I regret having served after Justice for my child custody was denied me. And unless anyone here has had their child stolen, keep it to yourself! Have you served, been injured, and then told to keep your shut under threat of Courts Martial? I will NEVER say the Pledge of Allegiance again! If I had the financial means I'd leave the US. My father was going to, but god killed him. can Where was God's love then? I'm sick and tired of hearing all the sweet bull s**t about God's and Jesus....love. if all that is their love for me, I'm screwed when I'm dead. I'll be wisked into hell while they laugh! All my REAL friends, the Very Few I had , including decent family - are ALL DEAD! I Prayed and begged for some type of love and companionship...I ended up with another selfish evil wife, who ignored my needs. Left, and had me arrested on false criminal charges while she emptied the house, and held my cat for ransom. What little money I had left was wasted on that to clear my name and defend the false charges. Ive been totally alone since. Not by choice. But by God's and Jesus torment of me! In effect, I have No One in the world who cares if I live or die. If I were to die tonight, No One would know. No One would miss me until the mailbox was over stuffed and maybe the mail carrier might call someone? The coroner will have a nice time with my decomposing body by then. I've tried to "make friends" and all I ended up was being Used! My so called patron saint Anthony. I tore up his picture my stupid grandfather painted when I was wrongfully born and threw it in the garbage. I was born in the Height of the Cuban Missile Crisis when everyone thought they were going to die in the next 15 minutes. I wish everyone had pressed the "button" and let fly the missles! I see homeless people. And I've tried to help. Show me Jesus love for them? My home suffered damage from Hurricane Katrina. It still needs work I'll never be able to afford. Where was I during the storm? Running a shelter! I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm done with reading and hearing about God's, Jesus... love for me. I want to SEE IT. but I won't.

I am sorry for all that you have been through and I say that as someone who has been through a lot myself. Some the same as you some different but all crap none the less. You asked about God's love and all I can say to that is that it appears you were taught that there would be no suffering if you Loved God which is the opposite of what scripture says. That being said, I think the real reason you are here is to see if there is anyone who really cares. I do whether you believe it or not. PM if you want to talk some more, I'm a pretty good listener.

 

[paul1149]

I don't know what I could say that would help. I've experienced some of what you have, but not others, and I've experienced a thing or two that you haven't. At one point I slammed my Bible on the floor and said I was done with God. I entered a very dark period, but long story short, God didn't abandon me though He had every right to. When I saw that, a love I couldn't begin to comprehend, my defenses melted, and I resolved never to let go of Him again, no matter what. It hasn't been easy, but afaic, there is no alternative, period.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

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