Ignorance IS bliss... God IS better than bliss

[c00kie]

I don't even know where to start, so instead of writing a book ; here are the facts:
#1My husband is a functioning alcoholic (I use that term lightly as I am in no place to diagnose, but he certainly drinks quite a bit - every day by 5pm - but he has it 'under control' enough that he doesn't pass out or fall down - he just goes to bed)

#2 Our bank account and savings has diminished over the last 6 months

#3 I have found "pills" in his cigarette pack - and he has admitted on 3 different occasions in the last 45 days that he is taking vicodin ..he admitted it started that his knee was hurt, and now he takes them "occasionally" to feel better after drinking too much

#4 He 'says' he has it under control, that he can stop - that he HAS stopped

#5 each time above that pills have been the subject of our intense conversations it is because I have brought it up - he doesn't want to talk about it each time he has admitted to using it is b/c I have either found the pills (that 1 time in his cigarette packet) or b/c I have confronted him and showed him proof that he was lying to me
#6 his social circle has changed to pill contacts, he deletes his messages on his phone and call logs so I cant see who he has been talking to
and heres the big one:
#7 I know all these things b/c I #1 logged in to his social media account (FB) and read messages between him and 'his new friend" that happens to have extra vicodin to SELL I admitted to 'invading his privacy' as he put it - and he deleted his facebook (as if that was going to stop him from contacting the pill guys) - it did not - he texts and calls them now....and always has an excuse of why he needs to get $20 out of the bank.........
#8 I do not KNOW that for sure - bc I cant SEE what he texts or HEAR his conversations but the pattern is there. I CAN see what numbers he texts and calls, and who calls and texts him b/c of our mobile phone plan I can log online and see the data logs....which once again is probably "invading his privacy"
but my TRUST has not only been invaded by this - my heart, my mind, my bank account - its all out the window right now
I LOVE THIS MAN BEYOND what I ever felt I could love anyone
I do not trust him
I have always trusted him, and it feels horrible to not trust him
I am SO SCARED that he is going to keep doing this and we are going to lose everything, I'm scared I am going to wake up one day and not love him anymore
most of all I am scared that he is going to die b/c of the drug and alcohol interaction

I am not embarrassed, if he wanted to go to rehab I don't care who knows - I came to this forum b/c I need specific PRAYER and I am not ready to ask my family for SPECIFIC prayers for my addict husband.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I don't even know where to start, so instead of writing a book ; here are the facts:
#1My husband is a functioning alcoholic (I use that term lightly as I am in no place to diagnose, but he certainly drinks quite a bit - every day by 5pm - but he has it 'under control' enough that he doesn't pass out or fall down - he just goes to bed)

#2 Our bank account and savings has diminished over the last 6 months

#3 I have found "pills" in his cigarette pack - and he has admitted on 3 different occasions in the last 45 days that he is taking vicodin ..he admitted it started that his knee was hurt, and now he takes them "occasionally" to feel better after drinking too much

#4 He 'says' he has it under control, that he can stop - that he HAS stopped

#5 each time above that pills have been the subject of our intense conversations it is because I have brought it up - he doesn't want to talk about it each time he has admitted to using it is b/c I have either found the pills (that 1 time in his cigarette packet) or b/c I have confronted him and showed him proof that he was lying to me
#6 his social circle has changed to pill contacts, he deletes his messages on his phone and call logs so I cant see who he has been talking to
and heres the big one:
#7 I know all these things b/c I #1 logged in to his social media account (FB) and read messages between him and 'his new friend" that happens to have extra vicodin to SELL I admitted to 'invading his privacy' as he put it - and he deleted his facebook (as if that was going to stop him from contacting the pill guys) - it did not - he texts and calls them now....and always has an excuse of why he needs to get $20 out of the bank.........
#8 I do not KNOW that for sure - bc I cant SEE what he texts or HEAR his conversations but the pattern is there. I CAN see what numbers he texts and calls, and who calls and texts him b/c of our mobile phone plan I can log online and see the data logs....which once again is probably "invading his privacy"
but my TRUST has not only been invaded by this - my heart, my mind, my bank account - its all out the window right now
I LOVE THIS MAN BEYOND what I ever felt I could love anyone
I do not trust him
I have always trusted him, and it feels horrible to not trust him
I am SO SCARED that he is going to keep doing this and we are going to lose everything, I'm scared I am going to wake up one day and not love him anymore
most of all I am scared that he is going to die b/c of the drug and alcohol interaction

I am not embarrassed, if he wanted to go to rehab I don't care who knows - I came to this forum b/c I need specific PRAYER and I am not ready to ask my family for SPECIFIC prayers for my addict husband.

Remember that the Lord Jesus 'ever lives to make intercession' for all who love Him and trust Him (Hebrews 7.25).

Does your dh wish to be rid of his habit? (Some ppl don't, of course.)

 

[c00kie]

Remember that the Lord Jesus 'ever lives to make intercession' for all who love Him and trust Him (Hebrews 7.25).

Does your dh wish to be rid of his habit? (Some ppl don't, of course.)

I do remind myself of this hourly - that is my struggle as a Christian - I KNOW God can take care of this - I KNOW that the battle with this addiction has ALREADY been won and I CLAIM that victory in Jesus name
but I have never had to deal with this - so what do I do know as a Christian, as a believer, do I blissfully go about my day as IF nothing is wrong. Do I 'believe' every word out of his mouth as he continues to lie? Do I put my foot down and argue with him ..which is driving more and more division between us.... and to answer your question: my DH says he is done with them, isn't taking any more. but then he does, and they only way hes told me is if I press press press, then he admits the truth, then some how turns it all around to me invading his privacy to be not a big deal, I am making it a big deal, its not like he takes 20 mg a day - 5 mg. here maybe 10, nothing is EVERY DAY he says
but what do I believe?

the other day we argued and in his reverse psychology argument stance he said 'I guess the only way you are going to believe anything I do is if I check myself in to rehab for 30 days"
was that a cry out for help??? Did I miss it? I think back and wonder
and then of course, I remember Jesus is right here with me and more importantly with my DH - He's got this
but what do I do????
be still.. as His word says
be still and ? keep my mouth shut? keep looking at his phone and text logs? ugh

He has never woke up and said " I want a pill today, help me focus on something else so I don't take a pill"
he drank too much last night and didn't go to work today = he text and called his pill contact then told me he needed money out of our joint account to put in his personal account to cover a payment.......

 

[faroukfarouk]

I do remind myself of this hourly - that is my struggle as a Christian - I KNOW God can take care of this - I KNOW that the battle with this addiction has ALREADY been won and I CLAIM that victory in Jesus name
but I have never had to deal with this - so what do I do know as a Christian, as a believer, do I blissfully go about my day as IF nothing is wrong. Do I 'believe' every word out of his mouth as he continues to lie? Do I put my foot down and argue with him ..which is driving more and more division between us.... and to answer your question: my DH says he is done with them, isn't taking any more. but then he does, and they only way hes told me is if I press press press, then he admits the truth, then some how turns it all around to me invading his privacy to be not a big deal, I am making it a big deal, its not like he takes 20 mg a day - 5 mg. here maybe 10, nothing is EVERY DAY he says
but what do I believe?

the other day we argued and in his reverse psychology argument stance he said 'I guess the only way you are going to believe anything I do is if I check myself in to rehab for 30 days"
was that a cry out for help??? Did I miss it? I think back and wonder
and then of course, I remember Jesus is right here with me and more importantly with my DH - He's got this
but what do I do????
be still.. as His word says
be still and ? keep my mouth shut? keep looking at his phone and text logs? ugh

He has never woke up and said " I want a pill today, help me focus on something else so I don't take a pill"
he drank too much last night and didn't go to work today = he text and called his pill contact then told me he needed money out of our joint account to put in his personal account to cover a payment.......

A lot may depend on whether he himself is willing to cooperate with rehab, with your encouragement. Keep praying.


In the end, reading the Word together and praying is so very valuable, with blessing way beyond a time when he may renounce his habit.