Searle29678,
My sister in the Lord, would you be willing to consider some advice from one who has been counseling families for longer than you have been alive? I don't want to quench the Spirit of Ministry that I see reflected from your heart through your posts.
You have touched on an area on need in many, if not most local churches, which has stemmed from a lack on the part of many Pastors.
The fact that divorce is so high among couples who consider themselves Christians is a blemish on the Body of Christ. Much of this stems from a lack of training either sought or given in many Bible Colleges and Seminaries. There is also the fear that many Pastors seem to have in teaching about sex, relationships and marriage from the pulpit. All to often Pastors relegate these kinds of teaching to the public schools or to Christian Counselors, who, quite frankly, usually charge too much for the average Christian to be able to seek help.
There are however many Pastors like myself who do take the time to teach courtship as opposed to dating to their youth groups. G-dly principles for dating for those who won't follow the Biblical examples. And who do teach about sex, marriage and relationships from the pulpit.
From your OP and a few of the other posts it sounds like you are considering taking on this type of a teaching ministry in a local church. Again, I don't want to quench your desire to serve, but I think that there are a few things that you need to consider. First, James warns us in 3:1 "Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." If one takes on a teaching ministry unprepared they are asking for trouble. A Pastor or teacher must maintain a much higher standard in their life before they can stand as an example for others.
Secondly, Paul, in Titus 2:3-5 teaches: "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." The Holy Spirit directed Paul that it is the older women in the church who should be charged with teaching the younger wives how to be a G-dly wife.
As I have been reading through the posts on the Marriage Ministry forums some of your posts have caught my attention. It appears that you have a heart for wanting to be able to help others in the church. This is so commendable, especially since these days so few want to be involved in the work of the church. That being said, I have noticed a few things that have lead me to offer this advice. You are still an infant in the Lord. I believe that you said that you have been a Christian less than 2 years. On top of that, I believe that you have been married about the same length of time.
This should be a time of growth for you both in your relationship with the Lord and especially your husband. I personally don't allow members in my church to be involved in a serious, time-consuming ministry until they have been married at least 5 years. Those first five years are for smoothing out the bumps in your relationship and getting to really know each other. The added stress of taking on such a ministry can be very detrimental to a young marrieds relationship. This is so true, that I have special Sunday School classes which are for Young marrieds only, because they do have such special needs, as well as need for counseling from time-to-time. I have had couples tell me that the only things that kept them together through some of the bad times in their relationships were the things that they learned and the bonds that they formed with other young married couples through this class.
In short, you have a great idea for a much needed ministry. Don't rush into it or the failure could be your own marriage. Grow in the Lord, your knowledge of His Word, and your relationship with your own husband, FIRST, the need for this type of ministry will still be their.
You don't mention how your husband feels about this idea of yours. It causes me pause. When I do pre-marital counseling with a young couple I always start with determining both of their relationships with the Lord. I discuss this with a diagram that has G-d at the top of a Pyramid, and graphics of a man and woman as the bases of the Pyramid. I explain to the couple that if they aren't both on the same page spiritually, i.e. same commitment, same goals, same desire to grow and serve the Lord, it is going to pull the marriage apart. The same is true if the man and woman only have place in their lives for themselves or each other. As Christians, they will fall farther and farther from their relationship to G-d. But, if they love G-d, and are equally committed to their relationship to G-d, as they grow closer to the Lord by putting Him first, it will naturally pull them closer together to each other. Give this process time to work in both of your still new relationships. When it is time for you and your husband to have a ministry, it will still be there.
- I'm just trying to be difficult. But it's something worth considering.
