If my prayer request isn't in the will of God, can he still answer it?

[baptistgirl21]

I am hopeless at this point. I desperately want to marry and start a future with my boyfriend (Not during the coronavirus) but I'm so afraid that it's not in God's will for us to do so. If it's not, I'm still marrying him. But my anxiety will not let me stop thinking about God possibly not answering my prayer. This is so important to me and if God doesn't help me find a way to marry my boyfriend, I don't know what I will do. If God says "no" then I'll be crushed. Will God really tell me not to marry the man that I love? If it's not in God's will for us to marry, I'm afraid he will tell me that I shouldn't marry him. I will not live without my boyfriend in my life. I refuse to be miserable my entire life, because I deserve to get married and start a life with the man that I love. If it's not in God's will for us to marry, will he still bless the marriage? Will he still help us? I literally can't marry without God's help. If God says no, I'll accept it. I won't like it one bit, but I'll accept that he doesn't want to help me. But I'm still going to marry my boyfriend. He's the only one that makes me happy. Without him, I will die. I just want to be happy

 

[GospelS]

No one loves you more than God, ever.
No one can give you more happiness than God, ever.
We don’t deserve a thing. God knows the future and what’s best for us.
We are all dying. Your boyfriend won’t be there forever too.
We desperately need Jesus and He is more important, not anyone else.
If we are afraid that something is not God’s will, then we shouldn’t do it.
To be crushed and miserable now is better than sinning.
Whom do you love more, God or boyfriend. Love God above all.
Be patient. Trust God. Follow Jesus.

Those who try to gain their own life will lose it; but those who lose their life for my sake will gain it. Matthew 10:39

 

[Jamdoc]

I am hopeless at this point. I desperately want to marry and start a future with my boyfriend (Not during the coronavirus) but I'm so afraid that it's not in God's will for us to do so. If it's not, I'm still marrying him. But my anxiety will not let me stop thinking about God possibly not answering my prayer. This is so important to me and if God doesn't help me find a way to marry my boyfriend, I don't know what I will do. If God says "no" then I'll be crushed. Will God really tell me not to marry the man that I love? If it's not in God's will for us to marry, I'm afraid he will tell me that I shouldn't marry him. I will not live without my boyfriend in my life. I refuse to be miserable my entire life, because I deserve to get married and start a life with the man that I love. If it's not in God's will for us to marry, will he still bless the marriage? Will he still help us? I literally can't marry without God's help. If God says no, I'll accept it. I won't like it one bit, but I'll accept that he doesn't want to help me. But I'm still going to marry my boyfriend. He's the only one that makes me happy. Without him, I will die. I just want to be happy

I think the red flag is that you seem to love them more than God.
But no, if you act against the will of God, that marriage may fall apart and be miserable.
You should pray and first and foremost check your priority. Do you love God more than your boyfriend? You should. Does he love God more than you? He should. Does your love of each other strengthen both of your love for Jesus? It should and if so, it's probably in God's will and probably blessed. Does your love for each other take you further away from God (IE he's not a believer), then it's probably a bad idea.

 

[SkyWriting]

He's the only one that makes me happy. Without him, I will die. I just want to be happy

He won't always be there for you, sometimes not physically, many many times not emotionally. Happiness is your choice, not his choice.

 

[Amittai]

As a single bloke in my 60s I heartily endorse those but:

At a younger age it's natural to take that perspective. Even giving oneself a break is necessary amidst overwhelming emotions.

Give time far more time. Pray for you BF's true happiness which isn't an emotion, one can be happy and sad, for his parents to maintain a constructive attittude to him, don't see yourself as a rescuer, be friends toward them. Plan to survive two days!

God always answers with more light about how prayer answers work and with the pinning down of our requests.

We can never get an y specific outcome out of God without some surprises, the important thing is to keep approaching Him and He doesn't want to "make" you feel stupid!

 

[Richard T]

Once you are married it is God's will that you would make the best of it. What is more important is that instead of asking God to bless your choice, is to first make sure that person is God's choice, before you marry. Still, I don't know why you would think it is not God's will with this person? It seems you are not confident and doing anything outside of faith would not please God. While this scripture talks about food, I think it would apply to your situation too. Romans 14:22-23 (KJV) 22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.
23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.Why are you so anxious about this? Why not just trust God to work out the details? If you are unsure of God's will then pray and fast. IF you are anxious over some sin, then confess it, repent and move on. Also you should seek the counsel of your pastor. Many have premarital counseling Here is one similar source. Pre-Engagement Counseling - Focus on the Family

 

[paul1149]

The issue here is trusting God. It may be that God is ok with you marrying this man, or it may not be. But you haven't gone to Him with the intention of honoring Him and submitting to His will. You intend on going your own way, and ask basically how much you can get away with independent of Him.

The way forward spiritually is to seek Him, and to trust and obey. Perhaps that way you can marry as you wish and with His blessing. But you will not know unless you go to Him and sincerely ask. If you do go ahead with your plans without Him, you also will find out - but it will be after the fact.

 

[LoricaLady]

If the Father does't want you to marry this guy He knows it is because no matter how happy he makes you now, it won't last either in this life or in eternity. Your Heavenly Father sees the future. We don't.

If you do marry against His will, that does not mean He will abandon you, but that you will likely experience consequences of a bad choice. He is the "Father of Mercies" to us and "delights to show us mercy." That means that He actually enjoys to give us that which we do not deserve, but, again, He will often let us experience the consequences of a bad choice so that for one thing we can realize more fully that HIS will, not ours, is always the best for us.

I pray you will make the right choice.

 

[baptistgirl21]

Why are you so anxious about this? Why not just trust God to work out the details? If you are unsure of God's will then pray and fast.

I'm so anxious because I'm afraid if it isn't God's will for us to marry, he will force his will upon me and if I don't follow, he will punish me. I love God and want him a part of my life, but even if I do choose to marry the one I love, I hope will still answer my other prayers and guide me through life. Just not the marriage. I want to work it out on my own but at the same time I do want God's help to get me through things. Even if it isn't his will. I don't want God to hate me and I don't want to go to hell for not obeying God's will, or go to hell for not asking for him to show me his will.

 

[baptistgirl21]

If the Father does't want you to marry this guy He knows it is because no matter how happy he makes you now, it won't last either in this life or in eternity. Your Heavenly Father sees the future. We don't.

If you do marry against His will, that does not mean He will abandon you, but that you will likely experience consequences of a bad choice. He is the "Father of Mercies" to us and "delights to show us mercy." That means that He actually enjoys to give us that which we do not deserve, but, again, He will often let us experience the consequences of a bad choice so that for one thing we can realize more fully that HIS will, not ours, is always the best for us.

I pray you will make the right choice.

Thanks

 

[Jamdoc]

If the Father does't want you to marry this guy He knows it is because no matter how happy he makes you now, it won't last either in this life or in eternity. Your Heavenly Father sees the future. We don't.

If you do marry against His will, that does not mean He will abandon you, but that you will likely experience consequences of a bad choice. He is the "Father of Mercies" to us and "delights to show us mercy." That means that He actually enjoys to give us that which we do not deserve, but, again, He will often let us experience the consequences of a bad choice so that for one thing we can realize more fully that HIS will, not ours, is always the best for us.

I pray you will make the right choice.

No boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, or wife is going to last into eternity. In eternity there is no marriage except to Jesus.

 

[LoricaLady]

No boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, or wife is going to last into eternity. In eternity there is no marriage except to Jesus.

I'm sorry you misread what I said. I certainly wasn't saying that there is marriage in Heaven. Did I even imply that? If you will analyze the sentence which you are disagreeing with I said that if the Father didn't want her to marry this man then her HAPPINESS won't last in this life or into eternity.

If someone marries in the Father's will, then, though they are no longer married in Heaven, they can still experience happiness over their right choice and one another as children of the Lord. Jf you want to disagree with that, remember we are not supposed to debate on the Prayer Forum.

 

[Jamdoc]

I'm sorry you misread what I said. I certainly wasn't saying that there is marriage in Heaven. Did I even imply that? If you will analyze the sentence which you are disagreeing with I said that if the Father didn't want her to marry this man then her HAPPINESS won't last in this life or into eternity.

If someone marries in the Father's will, then, though they are no longer married in Heaven, they can still experience happiness over their right choice and one another as children of the Lord. Jf you want to disagree with that, remember we are not supposed to debate on the Prayer Forum.

I wasn't meaning to attack your statement or debate at all, I was meaning to support your statement with clarification that earthly marriages pass away.

 

[LoricaLady]

Oh okay. Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[Joy]

MOD HAT ON

This Thread has Moved
From Prayer Wall
To Christian Advice

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[Albion]

Baptist girl, God has already given us his rules for living--and for marrying. It's in his holy word, the Bible.

You seem to want him to also say, unequivocally, to you personally, that the man you want to marry is okay with Him even if you are adhering to every standard that He has revealed through Scripture.

This is to worry yourself for nothing.

There is much we should pray about, but a personally engraved invitation to do something that isn't wrong and which you say you are going ahead with anyway isn't part of it. Indeed, that might come close to testing God, which we know we ought not to be doing.

 

[Reborn1977]

I desperately want to marry and start a future with my boyfriend (Not during the coronavirus) but I'm so afraid that it's not in God's will for us to do so. If it's not, I'm still marrying him.

With this type of rebellious attitude toward God life is going to be tough!
Unless you can turn this attitude around, repent, you are cutting your throat in that your rebellion will tie God's hands in giving you the good things He had in store for your life.

 

[Jamdoc]

Oh okay. Thanks for clearing that up.

Yeah, when OP says something like "I can't live without my boyfriend" it kinda needs to be put into perspective that you WILL live without that relationship forever, if you love God.

 

[Brenda Blakely]

I am really not sure why you feel as if God is saying “no” to this marriage. But my first advice is wait. You also may find the help you need in the book “Ready to Wed.” This well written book may help you to evaluate and answer your questions. If this is the man for you he will be there when you are both ready.
We see examples in the scripture of those who “took over control of their lives,” and those who “let God be their master and guide their lives”. It is pretty clear which choice is the best. Pray about this, sit still and listen, don’t rush into anything until you are sure. You may be going on “the feel good plan” instead of “God’s plan.” This is never going to bring you into the fullness of God’s blessings and the abundant life He has prepared for you. Also think about your boyfriend.
If you truly love him I do not believe you would want to bring him into a relationship that is not in the will of God. I believe as one who loves him, you would want what is best for him.
I suggest that you also might find some help at this number-855 382 5433. Just explain to them that you want to wed in the will of God and need help in finding what that will is and what is best for both you and the one you love. I am praying for you and your boyfriend.

 

[Sketcher]

I am hopeless at this point. I desperately want to marry and start a future with my boyfriend (Not during the coronavirus) but I'm so afraid that it's not in God's will for us to do so. If it's not, I'm still marrying him. But my anxiety will not let me stop thinking about God possibly not answering my prayer. This is so important to me and if God doesn't help me find a way to marry my boyfriend, I don't know what I will do. If God says "no" then I'll be crushed. Will God really tell me not to marry the man that I love? If it's not in God's will for us to marry, I'm afraid he will tell me that I shouldn't marry him. I will not live without my boyfriend in my life. I refuse to be miserable my entire life, because I deserve to get married and start a life with the man that I love. If it's not in God's will for us to marry, will he still bless the marriage? Will he still help us? I literally can't marry without God's help. If God says no, I'll accept it. I won't like it one bit, but I'll accept that he doesn't want to help me. But I'm still going to marry my boyfriend. He's the only one that makes me happy. Without him, I will die. I just want to be happy

Since you're obsessed with your boyfriend, you should seek out the objective counsel of your family and your friends. Do they really think he is good for you? Also, is he Biblically eligible (no previous living spouse, and is he really a believer)?

Now, to answer the theological question as to whether or not God will do something for you that is against his will - read 2 Kings 20-21:18. After Hezekiah pleaded for his life and the Lord extended it, he stoked Babylonian interest in conquering Israel. And three years later, his son Manasseh was born, who led Israel into idolatry and injustice, provoking the wrath of God upon them, which led to the Babylonian invasion and eventual exile. So one might say that God allowed something that wasn't his best because Hezekiah prayed (and I am open to correction from theologians on that point), but was it worth it? No, it was not.