Ideal Mate

Macrina · Oct 1, 2004

Interesting question... off the top of my head:

strong but sensitive
respects women
someone I can talk with and laugh with (I know, that's subjective -- but it's key, isn't it?)

I think it goes without saying that he would have to be someone who loves the Lord and is always seeking to grow in his faith.

Highland Watchman · Oct 2, 2004

Good question... (and some good responses so far, I must add!) I guess it's my turn:

0: Christian (not just believer, but follower... Someone who takes her faith seriously)
1: She must be intelligent, with a keen mind and a have a desire to learn
2: Someone that I can have good conversations with
3: Someone I can have fun with, and who understands me.
4: Does not mind being a minister's wife (wherever God may take us)
5: Someone who enjoys a variety of foods and desires to travel to distant lands, and who does not mind the unpredictable qualities of the God that we serve
6: A sex drive that suits my own (within marriage, of course...)
7:A heart of gold is an absolute must (not cold, metalic, or flashy, but precious, with a warm glow that is filed with love, compassion, sensitivity, and passion)
8: Heightwise, I am a pretty tall guy (6'5"), so finding someone shorter isn't an issue... but I personally find myself drawn to taller women...
9: Physically, there must be something that sets her apart in my eyes... whether it is eyes that draw me into their own, or a natural glow that makeup can't copy
10: She must be willing and able to look me in the eye and confront me if I err, and is willing to have me confront her in a like manner (thus, boldness, discernment and humility are needed)

But then, for some reason, I'm not even sure that I am meant to be married at all. It's tough not knowing either way.

Living4Him03 · Oct 2, 2004

So when are you moving to Texas ?

Macrina · Oct 2, 2004

I realized when talking in another thread that I should have included sincerety... that doesn't mean that he can't joke around (he'd better!) but just that he's a genuine person, honest with his feelings (even if he doesn't wear them on his sleeve)... basically, a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy.

G4M5Y5 · Oct 8, 2004

sweetlambofgod said:
good personality, cute smile, good body, nice eyes, big heart, christian, loves me for who i am, isn't sex crazy, fun, makes me happy, lieks my friends, thinks family is important, good kisser, intelligent, going to college or working, treats me liek a queen, trustworthy, honest, loving, leave me love notes and do simple things just to say he loves me, cook, clean, change diapers, get up with children at night, non smoker, non druggy.....

Why a good kisser....practice makes perfect...lol

G4M5Y5 · Oct 8, 2004

okay...I didn't mention mine...I'm really not picky...

Has to have goals
Love me
willing to listen to my wants and needs
Is strong enough to keep his christian beliefs even if I fall...and a want to help me rise again.

I'm sure if I think real hard there may be a couple more but that's my main wants and wishes...and who knows I might not get that...but I believe if I don't it's because I need to help him become more christian-like.

Lucia · Oct 8, 2004

it's funny how people's type change and our priorities change as we grow more in God...all I know is that I ned to trust Him and he'll bring the right one...all I'm asking now is for the perfect compliment to my life...not the[erfect man b/c he doesnt exist but the perfect one for me.....

OhhJim · Oct 8, 2004

gikkita said:
Why a good kisser....practice makes perfect...lol

Alas, no, it doesn't always.

feathergirl · Oct 8, 2004

1. I want these things, but most of all I want the one God has for me.
2. Christian - follows after God
3. Communicates - someone who will listen & not interrupt with their own problems, hopefully someone I can do the same with.
4. Shows respect to me, their family, others around them
5. Honest, trustworthy, understanding, forgiving
6. Attractive to me
7. Good personality
8. Not abusive - physically, emotionally, sexually
9. I hope I can be the woman he needs in his life

Law of Loud · Oct 8, 2004

Why do we set the bar so high, or so low? Why must we set a bar at all really? Should not your love for somebody come about from it's own nature, rather than just a set of "qualifications". All that I really understand, is that if I were to marry a person, I would sooner be concerned with them, than have them a set of "qualifications" that I want. Certainly, I'm more likely to love somebody who shares a lot with me, but you don't love the traits of the person... you love the entire person.

If you set standards or qualifications, I feel you are really missing out on life. Really missing out on finding somebody who you really love. Certainly you have a good chance of finding that, but you might not.

_sunshinegirl · Oct 8, 2004

KeilCoppes said:
Old post on a christian weightlifting forum by a lady in the army:

"Military men are great for husbands - they're in shape, they know how to make a bed... and they're already used to following orders!"

that is awesome
no wonder i have been getting duds!

feathergirl · Oct 8, 2004

Law of Loud said:
Why do we set the bar so high, or so low? Why must we set a bar at all really? Should not your love for somebody come about from it's own nature, rather than just a set of "qualifications". All that I really understand, is that if I were to marry a person, I would sooner be concerned with them, than have them a set of "qualifications" that I want. Certainly, I'm more likely to love somebody who shares a lot with me, but you don't love the traits of the person... you love the entire person.

If you set standards or qualifications, I feel you are really missing out on life. Really missing out on finding somebody who you really love. Certainly you have a good chance of finding that, but you might not.

I don't know why there has to be a bar. I know I have things I want in a guy...some of them because I've been hurt by guys & I don't want that happening again...so part of its I'm trying to be careful. Other than that, if I really loved a guy some things wouldn't matter to me...I know everyone's not perfect & all that really matters to me is that he's a Christian. He could have fibromyalgia or something like that & I'd still love him. Guess that's all I have to say for now. See ya.

invisiblebabe · Oct 9, 2004

chickenfeet said:
i used to have a list on what i looked for in a dude..

but then i realized i was being too picky. ( he even had to have cute shoes.. what straight guy has "cute" shoes? lol )

so i threw my list out the door.

i realize now.. u can't help who u fall in love with. ur not supposed to.

Hahahaha, I've never met a straight guy with cute shoes

I think you can't help who you find yourself falling for, but then again, love is also a choice, so the will has to actively decide to love the person at one point 'Tis a weird combination... but whoever said love was simple?

Karenswalk · Oct 10, 2004

What I wouldn't mind having in a man:

He has to put God above everything.
Kind
Sense of humor
Affectionate
loves animals
easy going
enjoys living out in the country
The Lord may have other plans for me but those qualities would be nice.

Cjwinnit · Nov 15, 2004

invisiblebabe said:
Hahahaha, I've never met a straight guy with cute shoes

Come to think of it, neither have I....

nhzname · Nov 15, 2004

Hmmm, I'm learning to just wait on the Lord to see who He brings along, but a couple pluses would be:
* Loves and lives for the Lord
* Generous and kind
* Intelligent enough to carry on a conversation. No, my name is not Jane.
* Outdoor lover
* Hardworking and healthy
* A man's man, yet a respecter of women
* Loves to laugh
* And if you can sweep me off my feet, literally, well ...

Diane_Windsor · Nov 16, 2004

Not neccessarily in this order and not all-inclusive, but this is what I would like my DH to be:

virgin (unless he was not raised in a Christian enviroment then I can understand)
he must like dogs (if he does not like dogs then he is not even close to being my hubby!)
kind
faithful
loving
protective
does not want children or have children already (unless they are grown and out of the house)
supportive
likes real football (soccer to most Americans)
non-smoker
Not agnostic or athiest
Intellectual and serious by nature

Forever trying · Nov 16, 2004

My lists would include;

- Physically attractive (no elle or cindy) just something that catches my attention and sets her apart.
- Funny, and can laugh at the things I say as well.
- Someone who'll ask me how my day was when I get home, and be willing to listen (and vice versa).
- although humour is very important, also capable of having a serious conversation.
- at least half a brain would be nice (lol).
- wants to have children (naturally or adoption, whatever the circumstances). A whole bunch of them.
- Likes and wants animals. Preferably my dog.
- has a good head on her shoulders, so she can be a voice of reason and commonsense for me when in doubt (I can't always be the together one lol)
- Is willing to talk through problems.
- Has the same/similar views on sexual relations (in marriage) as I do.
- Someone who'll love me as much as i love them.
- Someone who is also a pretty darn good friend to have at my side.
- who doesn't mind my faith or religion.
- A lovely person to be with.
- And lastly, she also has to work before any children come along. Don't want to support her from day one.

All in all, not to demanding I think! (So why am i still single?)

KeilCoppes · Nov 16, 2004

Forever trying said:
- at least half a brain would be nice (lol).....
- And lastly, she also has to work before any children come along. Don't want to support her from day one.

All in all, not to demanding I think! (So why am i still single?)

Can't imagine why not.... what woman wouldn't jump at the opportunity to work and be considered to have at least half a brain.... nope, just don't get it... hmmm, I had some irony around here somewhere...

Forever trying · Nov 16, 2004

KeilCoppes said:
Can't imagine why not.... what woman wouldn't jump at the opportunity to work and be considered to have at least half a brain.... nope, just don't get it... hmmm, I had some irony around here somewhere...

My meaning with this is;
(a) Someone who can at least have an open mind and isn't totally stupid (forgive the harsh language). But I've known many guys and gals in my time who just lack plain old commonsense. It's not that I'm looking for a rocket scientists. Just someone who can think for themselves, and not in the end always follow the crowd, even when its best not. Someone who knows their own limits, right from wrong, and go's with what they know is right. Following the sheep is not a quality I admire in the males or females who may be a part of my life.

(b) If a girls criteria is for a guy to have a job, why shouldn't the guy want that? On both sides it displays independence, good work ethic, and integrity. If the mother (or father) decides to stop working when children come, fine. At least they're good role models that they didn't spend the childless years wanting someone else to provide for them. Then the children will likely have those values as well when the finish school and start working.

Ideal Mate

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