- Feb 19, 2017
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With my recent conversion into being Catholic, I decided it only appropriate to share the news with my mother, and the medium that I chose to use was a pencil and paper. Call me old-fashioned but I still prefer this way of communication. It's more personal that way.
In my letter, I told my mom of the freedom that I have found in Christ, the forgiveness that I have for her wrongdoings towards me and others, and of God's mercy and love for her. I reckon she will not be too receptive of the news that I became a Catholic, despite multiple times of telling her I was on the path to becoming one. I completely expect to hear that sentiment in a letter or email from her, and maybe I'll even be contacted by other family members on her side trying to persuade me to give up my faith and return to Islam. In either case, I'm not expecting the best response.
I sense the response will not be a happy one because she used her religion against me to basically control me on the most unhealthy of levels. She used it to justify her severe abuse and social isolation of me, but now I want her to know that Jesus Christ's love and mercy has freed me from the threats of Hell that so horribly frightened me until after I moved out of her house. I want her to know this and to know that she can find freedom from her captivity and wounds as well. She probably will not listen to me, but I still pray for her that she may find her way to the truth. That is one of the only ways that she may be able to find true happiness in her life because, right now, I believe she is living a lonely and miserable life. She legally lost custody of my sister six years ago and has only sparingly contacted us since then (Less than 10 letters from her), and she has had a cousin of mine live with her only for her to kick him out after awhile. He told me she seemed highly secretive and distrustful of others, which is exactly how I remember her being. I think she may be suffering from severe mental illnesses due to being horrifically abused by her parents and the (literal) religious cult they were a part of. This is why I believe she really does need to seek Jesus, among other reasons.
I do have some home for her, though. I saw a post from a few years ago on her Facebook page (Facebook suggested her to me thanks to data mining) where she said she wanted a shirt, and the shirt she wanted was very Christian in what it said on it. I forget the exact phrasing, but it was a Christian shirt. Not only that, but while I was church shopping a few years ago, I went to a non-denominational church where I happened to see my mom, of all people, sitting in one of the pews across from me. Mind you, I live in a pretty big city and she comes from the next town over. I don't think God would consider this a coincidence. So maybe she is seeking God in her own time. All I can do is continue to send my encouragement and pray for her.
I'm just so grateful that I've been able to forgive my mom to such an extent. I still don't trust her enough to see me in person since she could still be a life risk to me, but I don't wish ill upon her, nor do I feel comfortable anymore when my sister says awful things about my mom, no matter how true they sometimes can be. I want to extend mercy and forgiveness to her as Jesus has shown to me. I want to do this not only because it is the Christian thing to do, but because I still do truly love her, you know?
I just hope that Jesus will help my mom with all of her many ailments, her physical and mental health, and the possible state of her soul. Amen.
In my letter, I told my mom of the freedom that I have found in Christ, the forgiveness that I have for her wrongdoings towards me and others, and of God's mercy and love for her. I reckon she will not be too receptive of the news that I became a Catholic, despite multiple times of telling her I was on the path to becoming one. I completely expect to hear that sentiment in a letter or email from her, and maybe I'll even be contacted by other family members on her side trying to persuade me to give up my faith and return to Islam. In either case, I'm not expecting the best response.
I sense the response will not be a happy one because she used her religion against me to basically control me on the most unhealthy of levels. She used it to justify her severe abuse and social isolation of me, but now I want her to know that Jesus Christ's love and mercy has freed me from the threats of Hell that so horribly frightened me until after I moved out of her house. I want her to know this and to know that she can find freedom from her captivity and wounds as well. She probably will not listen to me, but I still pray for her that she may find her way to the truth. That is one of the only ways that she may be able to find true happiness in her life because, right now, I believe she is living a lonely and miserable life. She legally lost custody of my sister six years ago and has only sparingly contacted us since then (Less than 10 letters from her), and she has had a cousin of mine live with her only for her to kick him out after awhile. He told me she seemed highly secretive and distrustful of others, which is exactly how I remember her being. I think she may be suffering from severe mental illnesses due to being horrifically abused by her parents and the (literal) religious cult they were a part of. This is why I believe she really does need to seek Jesus, among other reasons.
I do have some home for her, though. I saw a post from a few years ago on her Facebook page (Facebook suggested her to me thanks to data mining) where she said she wanted a shirt, and the shirt she wanted was very Christian in what it said on it. I forget the exact phrasing, but it was a Christian shirt. Not only that, but while I was church shopping a few years ago, I went to a non-denominational church where I happened to see my mom, of all people, sitting in one of the pews across from me. Mind you, I live in a pretty big city and she comes from the next town over. I don't think God would consider this a coincidence. So maybe she is seeking God in her own time. All I can do is continue to send my encouragement and pray for her.
I'm just so grateful that I've been able to forgive my mom to such an extent. I still don't trust her enough to see me in person since she could still be a life risk to me, but I don't wish ill upon her, nor do I feel comfortable anymore when my sister says awful things about my mom, no matter how true they sometimes can be. I want to extend mercy and forgiveness to her as Jesus has shown to me. I want to do this not only because it is the Christian thing to do, but because I still do truly love her, you know?
I just hope that Jesus will help my mom with all of her many ailments, her physical and mental health, and the possible state of her soul. Amen.