I went to church on Sunday

[Tenebrae]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

Just take it slow I think there will always be those who take advantage just learning to know who they are is the trick. Because of my abusive upbringing I've tended to draw abusive people to me (men and women) and I asked the Lord several years ago to keep me alert to those types of people. He's been faithful. I'll pray for you to have His guidance and His wisdom to know who to trust and how much to tell if/when needed.

 

[Watchman4hm]

Hi Tenebrae..Watch this video, I think it will help you..Based on the book that he wrote John Bevere has helped many...

The Bait Of Satan message by John Bevere - YouTube

 

[like eagleswings]

Isaiah 42:3

New American Standard Bible (NASB)

3 “A bruised reed He will not break
And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;
He will faithfully bring forth justice.

when I went to church after 15 years away, I was raw and and very hurt in side, I just sat in the back and allowed the lord to minister to me, Jesus is gentle,kind,loving, he will heal you,little by little. its taken a couple of years but I am getting to love people more now. so it takes time.

 

[JimB]

I know people expect Christians to be perfect and, the truth be told, we are anything but perfect. Yet Christ established his church and is building his church and has even called us his bride, even though we are far from beautiful, even beneath all our makeup. In fact, I have known non-believers (i.e., pre-believers)—even atheists—who exhibited more love and compassion than some church members I went to church with. But the purpose of the church is not to be a gathering for squeaky clean people but an institution to help them overcome their flaws. It works for some; some it doesn’t—but Christ, who loves the church (warts and all) and gave himself for it, cherishes us all the same. And, frankly, I want to love what/who he loves.

 

[mourningdove~]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

Look for the fruit.
When you go into a church, look for the fruit of the Spirit.

imo, your best 'chances' of finding a safe church home ... where persons are not being abused and mistreated ... will be to go to a church where you see the fruit of the Spirit at work amongst the people.

Galatians 5:23-23 tells us what is the fruit of the Spirit:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

It can sometimes take time to discern these things ... several visits, and usually to more than just a Sunday service ... but even just while sitting in the service I've learned to look around to see how persons are interacting with each other, and to the pastor's message, and to the service as it is happening, and when they part company from each other at the end. I've learned to watch, to look for potential 'fruit'.

Do the people appear to genuinely love God? Do they appear to love one another?

And I pay attention, too, to how they treat me ... as a visitor to their church. I personally look for a 'non-intrusive' kind of kindness; you may be looking for some other kind of 'fruit' ...

It really does matter to God, how we treat one another. I've learned to avoid gossips and complainers. I've really learned to avoid those that criticize the pastor and/or his family. And I've learned to avoid the mean-spirited, competitive, proud, discontent and disagreeable sorts. If a church is full of that kind of 'fruit'? I don't stay.

Regardless of the décor of the church, or the numbers of persons present, or the style of worship, or whatever might happen in the way of 'supernatural experiences' during the service, or 'whatever' ... I've learned the importance of looking for 'fruit' when gathering amongst the people of God. You will know them by their 'fruit'.

... and where the fruit of the Spirit is, so is the Lord also.

Like Jim said, there is no perfect church, no perfect pastor, no 'perfect'. There really isn't; we are all still growing in Christ, even the pastor. But our 'chances' of meeting up with evil and abuse are much much less where the Spirit of the Lord is.

God bless.
I will say a prayer for you, too.

 

[Yitzchak]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

Be careful. Your concerns are well founded.

Church is like the famous line from a Tale of Two cities...The one that says It was the best of time , it was the worst of times.

Church is full of some the best people and full of some of the worst people. It is impossible to totally avoid backstabbers and dangerous people in church. But it is also worth it because some of the best people are in church too.

I will pray for you.

 

[Zugzwang]

Hi Tenebrae..Watch this video, I think it will help you..Based on the book that he wrote John Bevere has helped many...

The Bait Of Satan message by John Bevere - YouTube

Thank you. Much appreciated.

 

[Zugzwang]

@ OP

If you shut yourself off like that, you become what you despise, whether you intend to or not. (Usually)

Speaking from experience.

 

[vitaminC]

I skipped church on sunday and stayed home. So I guess the statistics for attendance balanced out.

 

[RisingSpirit]

This post was deleted cause I should have never used Kundilini and spirit in the same sentence. My apologies. Kundidini isn't spirit but energy. It's not spirit. So I was wrong. Sorry for the confusion.

 

[Hishandmaiden]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

At least, you are taking a step to be with God's people, again. I hope your church experiences this time is much better than your previous experiences.

 

[Biblicist]

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

For what its worth, this is simply a normal part of our life here on earth. I've lost count of the times where Christians (and religious folk) have treated me improperly. I suppose that I should also acknowledge that I have undoubtedly treated others unfairly as well.

 

[Tenebrae]

Its not that I don't trust you, I don't know you. So I wont be PMing you

PM me and share with me how the charismatic Pentecostals abused you.

Raising the Kundalini spirit is not always a bad thing if you know how to raise it properly as seen in this symbol:

Actually it's healthy
​

​

 

[Tenebrae]

I disagree, abuse is not a normal part of life, nor should we ever accept it as such

For what its worth, this is simply a normal part of our life here on earth. I've lost count of the times where Christians (and religious folk) have treated me improperly. I suppose that I should also acknowledge that I have undoubtedly treated others unfairly as well.

 

[The Unforgettable Fire]

And I may go again next Sunday

I've never completely dismissed the idea of a higher power.

- It appeared to be a good solid church with good people in leadership

My problem: as some of you know, I had an experience with a church that had a very unhealthy environment. Natural progression, one attends a church people want to get to know you.

- I had an experience of a deep violation of trust. I'm not going into details however what it would be like to disclose to someone (you thought would be a safe person to talk to )about many years of abuse, only to have that person turn around and perpetrate more of the same abuse.

- I'm terrified. Because to become apart of a church again, develop a relationship with God, involves opening up again and taking the risk of the same thing happening all over again.

Hiints, good resoucres etc much appreciated.

Remember that all men are flawed, believer and unbeliever alike.

I'm nor excusing what happened at all. What you describe should never ever happen, but it does.

My suggestion is don't look to man to save you. If you turn trust (performance of Christian ministers, spouses, friends, etc..) into an ultimate thing you are basically putting them on the level of Christ and Satan will use that to destroy you.

That is not to say don't trust people. Relationships are a good thing, trust is a good thing, but it's not the ultimate thing.

Don't ever allow everything to hinge on the performance of another (except Christ's perfect record) including your own performance.

Keep your eyes on Christ. Look to Him. You are saved, have value, are loved and accepted because you admit you are not perfect and no better or deserving than anyone else and you trust in the sufficiency of what God did for you in Christ alone.

Redemption both now and eternally is found nowhere else.

Hope this helps.

 

[RisingSpirit]

Its not that I don't trust you, I don't know you. So I wont be PMing you

That's alright.

 

[Zugzwang]

That's alright.

Others here would disagree with you about it "Being alright".
And I'm not talking about the pm message here either. (To clarify)

 

[RisingSpirit]

Others here would disagree with you about it "Being alright".
And I'm not talking about the pm message here either. (To clarify)

That's alright.