I want wisdom

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christsoccer

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Please allow me to ask for something I am sure EVERY Christian guy wants: wisdom from God on how to properly relate to females. I would like to at least know how to deal with situations related to romantic relationships, courting, pursuit, dating, just anything. I want to find out everything I possibly can so I can have a better chance at success in the future (including marriage) and cut out this potentially malignant tumor called prolonged singleness.

thank you
:groupray::groupray:
 

Ash8676

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Lord, hear this individual and be there for him. Send the help he asks for, that he can rely on you for help when he needs it. Send him your wisdom and guidance, that he be able to have a good relationship with a woman. Let him be able to one day marry a nice woman, that she be a follower of you. Show him you are listening, that you are going to be there every step of the way. I pray for this, in Jesus name, Amen.
 
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servant of Merciful Love

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O Holy Spirit, Soul of my soul, I adore You.
Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me.
Tell me what I ought to do and command me to do it.
I promise to be submissive in everything
that You permit to happen to me,
Only show me what is Your will.

~Cardinal Mercier


God bless you :crossrc:
 
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Remny

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Don't waste too much time studying. Learning is doing... especially with relationships, the issues you will have are as different as each individual you may date, you can only become experienced with practice. Unfortunately, a lot of times, it's hard to succeed without knowing why you failed in the past. But don't be afraid to dive and get yer hands dirty. That's the best way to learn. So, best of luck, and I'll be praying for you!
 
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Officer

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Not gonna lie to you, my position of authority definitely helps get me dates, but even before the shield, I knew what to do. Basics: Never tell a girl you like her until you've at least become a couple and even then, I wouldn't do it. Be confident no matter what. Don't call or text too often (you'll look clingy). Here's one of the important ones, don't be afraid of rejection. If you run into a girl who rejects you, don't stress, just move on to the next girl. That's the thing most guys have trouble doing. I'd rather get shot down 10 times than not try at all. Just refine your technique if you're getting shot down too many times in a row.
 
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christsoccer

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Officer said:
Not gonna lie to you, my position of authority definitely helps get me dates, but even before the shield, I knew what to do. Basics: Never tell a girl you like her until you've at least become a couple and even then, I wouldn't do it. Be confident no matter what. Don't call or text too often (you'll look clingy). Here's one of the important ones, don't be afraid of rejection. If you run into a girl who rejects you, don't stress, just move on to the next girl. That's the thing most guys have trouble doing. I'd rather get shot down 10 times than not try at all. Just refine your technique if you're getting shot down too many times in a row.

How in the world does a guy become a romantic partner with a woman WITHOUT telling her he likes her? We are talking about Christian girls, right? What about honesty? I don't send messages but once every two weeks so I surely am not being needy. And I will not consider asking out just anybody. I usually ask them out if I like them.
God help me because I have got a long way to go if I want to get married but I always trust Him for that desire
 
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Officer

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I'm talking about every girl. Telling a girl you like her is the quickest way to send her packing. How do you get a girl out on a date? Ask her out, simple as that. How do you get romantic without telling her you like her? Simple, if you tell her you like her, you won't be getting romantic. I just go with the flow. If an opportunity is there to get "romantic", I just take it. Experience will teach you that opening up to girls verbally is the wrong move.
 
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turkle

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I think you may benefit from my husband's wisdom.

He fell in love with me long before I returned his affection. He prayed diligently that God would make him the man that could bless me and care for me in the manner that I needed. This went on for months. By the way, he DID tell me that he cared for me, many times. But I wasn't ready, so he stayed my very close friend...again for months. He was the perfect gentleman. He never touched me. He never said anything inappropriate. He loved me in the way that I needed at the time, which meant that he had to wait. In the meantime, he continued his prayer.

Over time, I fell in love with him. I could not help but respect and admire such a Godly man, who would sacrifice his own desires in order to bless me. That was real love. The day came that I told him that I was ready, and we celebrated and became a couple. After about 5 months, he proposed, and we married after another 5 months.

He continues to pray that prayer, every day, and I pray it too. We are absolutely devoted to each other, and are often asked by others the secret to our affection for each other, which is very evident to all. Our answer is that we pray over and over to be the best we can be for each other. We allow the Lord to work on our hearts, opening every dark place that we would rather keep hidden, so He can clean them out. It is a process, and there is much difficulty, but because God is the center of our marriage, we are able to work through every area of conflict. (My ring is a 3 stone: large diamond in the center symbolizing God, two smaller diamonds on each side representing us.)

I do not recommend playing games, as some do. My husband won my heart with his Godliness, his honesty and his patience. He still tells me today that he would have waited indefinitely for me, as long as it took. Even if I never came around, he would remain my close friend. How could I not love a man who would do all this for me?

Ask the Lord to bring you the right person. I believe that He will when YOU have become the man that is ready for her. This is a time for your own refinement and growth, so don't miss the opportunity! God's timing is always the best. Always! Praying that you become that man that can bless the woman that God has for you.
 
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Officer

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That's all fine and dandy, but this guy needs to learn at a quicker pace than that. You're very lucky to have a man like your husband because most guys with experience don't wait around that long. Take it from me, soccer, do not tell a girl you like her because she will get creeped out by it. The key to attracting women is confidence. It never was and it never will be spilling your guts to her.
 
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christsoccer

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Then I must respect my elders, but in my defense, old school courtship does not work well these days. The days of persistence and chasing the woman you love has turned into stalking charges and restraining orders.

then I am surprised that people still get married today.. since the men is the one who is supposed to pursue the woman :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:
 
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christsoccer

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I think you may benefit from my husband's wisdom.

He fell in love with me long before I returned his affection. He prayed diligently that God would make him the man that could bless me and care for me in the manner that I needed. This went on for months. By the way, he DID tell me that he cared for me, many times. But I wasn't ready, so he stayed my very close friend...again for months. He was the perfect gentleman. He never touched me. He never said anything inappropriate. He loved me in the way that I needed at the time, which meant that he had to wait. In the meantime, he continued his prayer.

Over time, I fell in love with him. I could not help but respect and admire such a Godly man, who would sacrifice his own desires in order to bless me. That was real love. The day came that I told him that I was ready, and we celebrated and became a couple. After about 5 months, he proposed, and we married after another 5 months.

He continues to pray that prayer, every day, and I pray it too. We are absolutely devoted to each other, and are often asked by others the secret to our affection for each other, which is very evident to all. Our answer is that we pray over and over to be the best we can be for each other. We allow the Lord to work on our hearts, opening every dark place that we would rather keep hidden, so He can clean them out. It is a process, and there is much difficulty, but because God is the center of our marriage, we are able to work through every area of conflict. (My ring is a 3 stone: large diamond in the center symbolizing God, two smaller diamonds on each side representing us.)

I do not recommend playing games, as some do. My husband won my heart with his Godliness, his honesty and his patience. He still tells me today that he would have waited indefinitely for me, as long as it took. Even if I never came around, he would remain my close friend. How could I not love a man who would do all this for me?

Ask the Lord to bring you the right person. I believe that He will when YOU have become the man that is ready for her. This is a time for your own refinement and growth, so don't miss the opportunity! God's timing is always the best. Always! Praying that you become that man that can bless the woman that God has for you.

Thank you for this encouragement and prayer
:amen::amen::amen::amen:
 
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Officer

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Soccer, hookups don't happen that way. You can surely ask a girl out without telling her you like her, can't you? As a matter of fact, if you told her you liked her, she WOULDN'T go out with you. I know that kind of nonsense works on soap operas, but real life is different. Just think about it for a moment. What girl in her right mind would go out with a guy who just told her he liked her yet they barely know each other?
 
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christsoccer

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Soccer, hookups don't happen that way. You can surely ask a girl out without telling her you like her, can't you? As a matter of fact, if you told her you liked her, she WOULDN'T go out with you. I know that kind of nonsense works on soap operas, but real life is different. Just think about it for a moment. What girl in her right mind would go out with a guy who just told her he liked her yet they barely know each other?
I do not do "hookups" LOL...
And yes, I have asked out women without telling them I liked them but then again, if you did not like them, you would not ask them so just by asking them out, that already communicates "I like you at least a little", surely?
 
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Bluelion

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I think you are seeking it for the wrong reasons. Seek it for God to be a Good man.

Book of proverbs is a wise books and the book of Ecclesiastes. Read the good book about how to be a man walking with God, then you will find your Love, and be ready for her.

I hope i did not come off as lecturing not my intent. Just sharing.

Praying for you, keep up the pray warrioring.
 
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