Prayer is needed. I'm afraid I committed the blasphemy of the holy spirit and doubted the existence of God and thr reliability of the bible.
Hi, I'm suffering from blasphemous thoughts as well. I was watching this Christian film called "Chosen" and at the end of the EPISODE 1, I doubted that the power Jesus used to cast the demon out of the lady was really from the holy spirit and then awareness came and I started to feel guilty. I never doubted His power nor His deity. I didn't know what's happening with me. I feel like I'm under a demonic attack and it's killing my spiritual life. I sang praise songs, I red the Bible and the page went to John 14. I red the whole passage but I don't feel a thing. Doubts of the existence of God happened and now I'm getting worried I committed an unpardonable sin. I am so guilty and I feel like Im going to hell no matter what I'll do since I already did something unforgivable while watching the film. It gave me confusion and out of the blue my heart felt doubtful.
Here's a background of why I had this feeling of worry and doubt.
It started when my anxiety came back after a year of deliverance from mental health illness. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in 2015 and it later became depression in my college years.
It was just last year when God delivered me and healed me in all aspects. I was really on fire and even enrolled in a bible college so I can get to know him more and train my faith to become stronger but my mental health illness came back and I experienced some dirty and compulsive thoughts. I'm afraid I have OCD because I kept trying to remove it by doing things beyond my limit. This anxiety remained rested until March 5, when there was a suspicious density found in my lungs xray. I was so worried that I had to leave the bible college for a week to get rest and examination. I wanted to prove that I am in urgency to get a second opinion so I left the school on Thursday when our dismissal was supposed to be on Friday. The dean of our dorm compared me to the other girls and indirectly told me that I am bothering her.
When I had my second test, I didn't feel any relief when I saw it cleared. There was this lingering feeling that I need to prove that there is something wrong in me so I get to stay in the bible college with excused reasons.
Then the lockdown in Metro Manila happened. I live in the province and so I packed up all my things and returned to our hometown. After I returned, I had this cough and muscle ache. I also had the sore throat. I was afraid I contracted the covid and spent my week worrying. I was given an antibiotic because the doctor told me it was just an infection in the throat.
While having this, I found out my
ex-boyfriend for 4 years has found someone already. It was so devastating because I am still inlove with him and he promises he'd wait for me til I graduate from the bible college.
We still talk even after finding out he has found someone and he confessed that he was trying to forget me. After a week, he left his gf and chose me but I didn't want that to happen. I was trying to process everything emotionally and mentally and I fixed my mind that I will heal from him but due to shock, I decided to accept him again but now I don't feel anything at all. I don't love him anymore and I decided to stop our relationship yesterday as I was not having a good sleep and a sound mind. I don't have the joy and peace because comparison to his ex gf made me insecure and it led to obsessive stalking.
This has been a problem.
I am so overwhelmed by all the events that is happening.
I need help, advices, from Christian perspectives
Hi, I'm suffering from blasphemous thoughts as well. I was watching this Christian film called "Chosen" and at the end of the EPISODE 1, I doubted that the power Jesus used to cast the demon out of the lady was really from the holy spirit and then awareness came and I started to feel guilty. I never doubted His power nor His deity. I didn't know what's happening with me. I feel like I'm under a demonic attack and it's killing my spiritual life. I sang praise songs, I red the Bible and the page went to John 14. I red the whole passage but I don't feel a thing. Doubts of the existence of God happened and now I'm getting worried I committed an unpardonable sin. I am so guilty and I feel like Im going to hell no matter what I'll do since I already did something unforgivable while watching the film. It gave me confusion and out of the blue my heart felt doubtful.
Here's a background of why I had this feeling of worry and doubt.
It started when my anxiety came back after a year of deliverance from mental health illness. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in 2015 and it later became depression in my college years.
It was just last year when God delivered me and healed me in all aspects. I was really on fire and even enrolled in a bible college so I can get to know him more and train my faith to become stronger but my mental health illness came back and I experienced some dirty and compulsive thoughts. I'm afraid I have OCD because I kept trying to remove it by doing things beyond my limit. This anxiety remained rested until March 5, when there was a suspicious density found in my lungs xray. I was so worried that I had to leave the bible college for a week to get rest and examination. I wanted to prove that I am in urgency to get a second opinion so I left the school on Thursday when our dismissal was supposed to be on Friday. The dean of our dorm compared me to the other girls and indirectly told me that I am bothering her.
When I had my second test, I didn't feel any relief when I saw it cleared. There was this lingering feeling that I need to prove that there is something wrong in me so I get to stay in the bible college with excused reasons.
Then the lockdown in Metro Manila happened. I live in the province and so I packed up all my things and returned to our hometown. After I returned, I had this cough and muscle ache. I also had the sore throat. I was afraid I contracted the covid and spent my week worrying. I was given an antibiotic because the doctor told me it was just an infection in the throat.
While having this, I found out my
ex-boyfriend for 4 years has found someone already. It was so devastating because I am still inlove with him and he promises he'd wait for me til I graduate from the bible college.
We still talk even after finding out he has found someone and he confessed that he was trying to forget me. After a week, he left his gf and chose me but I didn't want that to happen. I was trying to process everything emotionally and mentally and I fixed my mind that I will heal from him but due to shock, I decided to accept him again but now I don't feel anything at all. I don't love him anymore and I decided to stop our relationship yesterday as I was not having a good sleep and a sound mind. I don't have the joy and peace because comparison to his ex gf made me insecure and it led to obsessive stalking.
This has been a problem.
I am so overwhelmed by all the events that is happening.
I need help, advices, from Christian perspectives