Newme2017

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I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks
 

rockytopva

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You need to get into the Word of Faith and learn how to stop talking curses about yourself.

1. You are saved
2. You are blessed
3. You are favored
4. You are Spirit Filled!

William Seymour was talking the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the speaking in tongues before he got the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the speaking in tongues. It is important that we are calling the correct things out in faith!


 
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rockytopva

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I am a white guy and was brought up in a dysfunctional family in the military. The kids at school were not to kind and I graduated last in my class.

We had a Word of Faith church arise in the 1990's and they had members who use to play football for Virginia Tech who were all black. These guys were all the time talking faith things in existence. They would say, "I am getting out of here" and then lay out a plan they had going. If you said you felt bad they would immediately want to pray with you, so you learned not to complain about things. They were continually challenging me by asking, "What are you believing God for?" And expecting to hear some great plans on my behalf.

I then began to have faith. I have done quite well since. I have two houses paid for, in which I let other family members stay there, two Harley's, two AAS degrees Magna Cum Laude, won the Who's Who Award, First Place at a Radford University Programming Contest, have moved into the Lab at work, and have a nice car, truck and a jeep. And I am totally debt free. It all started with my Word of Faith brothers in whom I hold dear. I have since put together a YouTube site at youtube.com/rockytopva where I try to encourage others to have faith, as my brothers onetime did for me. In my videos I try to highlight men who were failures, but grew daily in their Christian walk, and then ended up like men of God such as Smith Wigglesworth.
 
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com7fy8

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In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?
Consider what our Apostle Paul says about his "thorn in the flesh" experience > 2 Corinthians 12:7-15.

Also, you can feed on the experience of Joseph > Genesis 37-50.

And if you please, share with us what you are finding.
 
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CrystalDragon

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I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks


You're not cursed. Good and bad things happen to everyone, and some people have low self-esteem, which seems to be what you're going through. Not any "curse". Given the suicide consideration, have you thought about going to a counselor?
 
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SeventyOne

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I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

No one is cut out to be a Christian. A real Christian is one who has been forgiven of their sins, but that person is not deserving of the forgiveness, at all. Many of us are the foolish of the world and can relate to what Paul writes when he states:

1Co 1:26-29 "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God."

As for Deut 28, that was written specifically to a nation just put under the Mosaic Law. You are not a nation, and you are not under the Mosaic Law. It is also not possible for 'everything' in there to happen to you because you have no cities or fields in you. Stop beating yourself up over the thoughts that nation-level calamities have fallen on you individually for not following a Law you are not obliged to follow.
 
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paul1149

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I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit.

I agree with Rockytopva. It is written in the Word that you are blessed, not cursed. There is no curse that can match the power of the Blood shed on your behalf. Claim that Blood and apply it.

I know we can get down about life and ourselves, but it's just a tactic of the enemy to get our eyes off the completed work of Jesus done for us. Take the faith challenge and believe that the Bible means what it says: for freedom you have been set free (Gal 5.1). And then start walking in it. Cast down the negative thoughts, the strongholds of satan (2Cor 10), and make it your goal to walk in the newness of life that Christ already purchased for you. Revelations 2-3 keeps talking about the rewards of overcoming. There is always a struggle, but the fact is the victory has already been secured.
 
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tansy

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I don't know what they have available in the country you live in, but in Britain, they have people and places you can go to...even stay for a few days (Christian Healing centres)- where they will talk and pray with you (called prayer counselling very often). Sometimes, they will ask you certain questions and go through your background and if you or any of your family have been involved in any occultish practices (even things like reading horoscopes maybe). And then they will help with you repenting, renouncing, cutting off and so on anything from the past or the present that may be affecting you .
I'm not saying that you are necessarily being affected by those sorts of things, but it is sometimes amazing what things (not always demonic per se), that can be holding you back.
Although, as the above posters state, one can cast down negative thoughts and so on and so forth, sometimes I think it helps if one has a helping hand. When you've got all kind of things weighing you down, it's extremely difficult I think, to see the wood for the trees.
But do be a little careful who you might seek any help from, because sometimes some people aren't always quite the best, in fact could make things worse.
I would go into a little more detail about this, as I have in the past been helped very much by various Christians and healing services or places but over quite a period of time, but none of my experiences may be helpful to you. And I certainly don't want tocause confusion or send you off down the wrong track.
 
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Soyeong

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I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

Hello,

I recommend this book:

Blessing or Curse: You Can Choose: Derek Prince, Mahesh Chavda: 8601300496962: Amazon.com: Books
 
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DeerGlow

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I don't know what they have available in the country you live in, but in Britain, they have people and places you can go to...even stay for a few days (Christian Healing centres)- where they will talk and pray with you (called prayer counselling very often). Sometimes, they will ask you certain questions and go through your background and if you or any of your family have been involved in any occultish practices (even things like reading horoscopes maybe). And then they will help with you repenting, renouncing, cutting off and so on anything from the past or the present that may be affecting you .

That sounds amazing. I don't think they exist in my state but they sound like a great idea.
 
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tansy

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That sounds amazing. I don't think they exist in my state but they sound like a great idea.

Yes, I've found that one can't necessarily get everything one needs just from one's own church..often other churches are very good on teaching, some on healing etc etc, and sometimes it is good to go to these other Christian places as well, one can even go on retreats. Obviously one has to pay if one's going somewhere other than a church meeting - to cover the cost of food, heating etc, especially if staying a few days. However, one place I went, my church advised me to go, and as I couldn't afford it they paid for me, and having no car, even got a church member to drive me there. I took my pushbike and was going to cycle the thirty miles back, but a very kind lady from the centre drove me back :)
I've always gone from time to time to churches of various denominations, as well as my own church. One can learn a lot from different perspectives and understandings.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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I always felt like there was a dark cloud on me. I feel suffocated and heavy in spirit. Everything I do, especially things that I feel that will edify myself, never succeeds. It just never happened or fails. For instance, I cannot seem to be able to finish school. Not because I am dumb but because there is always something or circumstance that makes me go backward. I feel like God is trying to reach out to me, there is a message, a blessing for me but I just seem to not be able to access God. There is something that blocks me from him.

In the bible it says that if you are Christian then you should not lack. Things should not go bad. But why does this happen to me?

This week I read Deuteronomy 28, it was the first time I read this part of the bible. And EVERYTHING that appears there concerning disobedience IS happening to my life. I mean everything from feeling confused, infectious disease, I cant see I cant hear. I have even sought medical assistance with that, and obviously they see nothing wrong. Everything I do is motive of laughter, people see me as a joke I am constantly humiliated by my actions. I have moved countries, literally, from continent to continent in the hope of starting a new life and the cycle repeats itself. ALWAYS FAILING. I feel like there is no end to this, i never seem to go to the next chapter, i am always revolving around the same place. I am spiritually blind and deaf. I have considered suicide, I have thought in the middle of despair, that maybe I am not cut to be christian I should choose something else. But, I understand that all of that is against God.

Sorry for the long essay, but I have tried talking to priests, pastors, deacons and nothing. I am looking for guidance in order to solve this issue.

Many thanks

Joseph.

Think of the life of Joseph in the bible, he was given a promise, as have we. The promise of blessing, of rulership. Yet what happened to him? He was sold as a slave, the very lowest position. Then it got worse, he was accused of rape, sent to prison, even lower. This happened over some time, maybe years. Yet at the end of his life he was exulted by God to the second highest position in Egypt.

As Christians all of us will go through these times of trial. We are given a promise. But we will endure trouble. Why? I believe it is so we can help others who suffer. But in the end like Joseph we will be blessed above all we can imagine.

Here is just a snippet of my life, I was born again but fell into a small sin. It caused me to wander aimlessly for years, I was do distressed by life, I wanted to die. I could not work, lived in constant fear, to give some perspective, I was 28 or around that age, and would play with plastic army men in the back yard, to just kill time, and wait for my end. Yet move forward 15 years, I am married, have a great job as a computer programmer, have a son and family. I feel strong and vigorous in Spirit, I feel truely above the problems of life that were in my past.

Don't worry where you are right now, you will be blessed.
 
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Solomons Porch

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I am a white guy and was brought up in a dysfunctional family in the military. The kids at school were not to kind and I graduated last in my class.

We had a Word of Faith church arise in the 1990's and they had members who use to play football for Virginia Tech who were all black. These guys were all the time talking faith things in existence. They would say, "I am getting out of here" and then lay out a plan they had going. If you said you felt bad they would immediately want to pray with you, so you learned not to complain about things. They were continually challenging me by asking, "What are you believing God for?" And expecting to hear some great plans on my behalf.

I then began to have faith. I have done quite well since. I have two houses paid for, in which I let other family members stay there, two Harley's, two AAS degrees Magna Cum Laude, won the Who's Who Award, First Place at a Radford University Programming Contest, have moved into the Lab at work, and have a nice car, truck and a jeep. And I am totally debt free. It all started with my Word of Faith brothers in whom I hold dear. I have since put together a YouTube site at youtube.com/rockytopva where I try to encourage others to have faith, as my brothers onetime did for me. In my videos I try to highlight men who were failures, but grew daily in their Christian walk, and then ended up like men of God such as Smith Wigglesworth.
I agree with Rocky, speak words of faith, no negative, only positive no matter whats going on. The tongue has the power of life and death. Speak life. In the beginning......Genesis, how did God create life and the earth, HE SPOKE. Declare that you are blessed and highly favored and that you are blood bought by the blood of the Lamb. Fight those things with positive faith words. Pray Pray and never stop praying. :oldthumbsup:
 
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Romansthruphilemon

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When you read in Deuteronomy you are reading about God dealing with ISRAEL. We are no where in the picture. Every time you read there highlight - Israel, house of Israel, children of Israel - That is not to us, it was to the Jews of that day. We shouldn't ignore it, we can learn things from reading but don't take it as doctrine specifically to you.

Israel was under a performance based system where IF they kept the commandments then they would be blessed, and if not they would be cursed. We are in the dispensation of the grace of God (Ephesians 3:2) and are not under Israel's performance based system that you read about in Deuteronomy.

Even in Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John the Lord is still dealing with Israel and not us. When you read those books you are reading someone else's mail. You can learn things but your doctrine specifically to you comes from your Apostle, Paul.

Some of the verses that show that:

Ma 15:24 But he (Jesus) answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

Ma 10:5,6 These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not: But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

Romans 15:8 Now I say that Jesus Christ was a minister of the circumcision (Jews) for the truth of God, to confirm the promises made unto the fathers:

God is dealing with us on the basis of faith (believing, trusting), NOT performance.

Ephesians 2:8,9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any should boast.

Romans 4:5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.

Titus 3:5 Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us,

If it is not based on performance then how does someone get saved today?

In Romans 1:16 Paul tells us: For I am not ashamed of THE GOSPEL OF CHRIST: for it IS THE POWER OF GOD UNTO SALVATION to everyone that BELIEVETH;

1 Corinthians 15:1-4 tells us what the gospel is - how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures, and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

When you trust Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again, when you trust that alone with no works mixed in for your salvation, you are saved.

Once you are saved you have all spiritual blessings IN HEAVENLY PLACES. You are seated in heaven. Paul says our conversation is in heaven. There is no way you could be cursed.

I hope this helps. I will attach a few videos of teachers that helped me. Some teachers refer to figuring out who we are "in Christ". Paul mentions this numerous times and calls it "the unsearchable riches of Christ". They are unsearchable because you can look outside of Paul's letters and you won't find them. Here is one:
Romans 3:22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe:

See you can't be cursed, if you believe, you have the righteousness of God upon you.
 
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Kit Sigmon

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It may seem dark, things may look hopeless, it may seem your every effort
is going nowhere...impacts nothing.
You may be the "butt" of jokes, shunned etc.
Remember the people who witnessed the death of Jesus on the cross believed there
would be NO Son-Rise...they thought/believed it was OVER...but in 3 days things would profoundly change
and would cascade for a very LONG time!

Not all things are clear to us 'cause we too close to the picture...We need to step back from
the picture before us, we need to turn our eyes back on
the Lord, the scriptures(renew our minds) and do what He requires...Micah 6:8.


I've been through that lonesome, dark valley without earthly friends but I wasn't
alone...the Lord be with me, He comforted and encouraged me through all the storms and
trials that come my way.
His Word be life to me, it changed how I dealt with people around me.
Nobody believed I'd ever leave the one-horse town that I lived in, nobody thought I'd find a good
man, nobody saw me going places...they saw me as a lowly black girl who'd no doubt be on
welfare etc.

Nothing changed until I was nearly forty, by then all my classmates/friends had children, husbands, nice
cars and homes...me? I lived in a used mobile and drove a car that was more than ten years old.
I'd never been out of the state I'd been born and raised in, never been on vacation and didn't even
have a computer or a cellphone back then.
However, before 2002 was over I'd be well off financially, married and would move far, far away from my former home town...even when my classmates/friends heard it, they didn't believe it.
I'd be questioned many times about all the things that happened or what I'd be doing or have done.
I had some to call me a liar but it wasn't hard to prove, the evidence be before their very eyes.

You see, I asked the Lord for an incredible life and that's what it be...what I didn't realize was the incredible part happened way before 2002!
It was in all the losses, rejections, failures, mockery, shunning and the attempts on my life...there I was seeking His Word, holding on to the Lord... I remember reading the bible lots, shedding many anguished tears, saying countless prayers...He'd teach me how to stand on His Word and Promises...to God be the Glory!




 
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