I suffer from pedophilia and it torments me daily...

[torm3nted_soul]

I am a twice convicted sex offender who spent almost 22 years (combined) in prison. I was released a year ago and have been in treatment since. I make no excuses and take full responsibility for my abusive actions.
Simply put, I am attracted to boys 9-13 (14 & 15 if they look younger) and girls 12-15. However, I struggle mostly with boys. A day does not go by where I do not have a sexual thought about a young boy. Sometimes, it is a fleeting thought and other times the thoughts plague me continually throughout the day. Occasionally, it is triggered by seeing an attractive looking boy. While, other times, they occur for no apparent reason.
I have been a believer for many years. I have sought out God's forgiveness, guidance and strength to little avail. I have not acted out sexually with any children since being released but I have lusted after and fantasized about boys.
I hate what I have become, how I feel and the thoughts that I have about boys. I only want to be delivered from this torment. I felt that I should turn to this forum rather than some worldly psychological site where believers are marginalized or belittled.

 

[Southernscotty]

The Word of God is very powerful and is sharper than any two edged sword, Let it build you into the person that God made you to be.
The more you read the bible the stronger you will become friend.
I applaud you for battling this openly and honestly while seeking help.
I do believe that help will ultimately come through Christ and His truths so I am praying for you and read Eph 6:10-18 and meditate on this scripture as a soldier never goes into battle without his armor in place, neither should you.

 

[salt-n-light]

I am a twice convicted sex offender who spent almost 22 years (combined) in prison. I was released a year ago and have been in treatment since. I make no excuses and take full responsibility for my abusive actions.
Simply put, I am attracted to boys 9-13 (14 & 15 if they look younger) and girls 12-15. However, I struggle mostly with boys. A day does not go by where I do not have a sexual thought about a young boy. Sometimes, it is a fleeting thought and other times the thoughts plague me continually throughout the day. Occasionally, it is triggered by seeing an attractive looking boy. While, other times, they occur for no apparent reason.
I have been a believer for many years. I have sought out God's forgiveness, guidance and strength to little avail. I have not acted out sexually with any children since being released but I have lusted after and fantasized about boys.
I hate what I have become, how I feel and the thoughts that I have about boys. I only want to be delivered from this torment. I felt that I should turn to this forum rather than some worldly psychological site where believers are marginalized or belittled.

I don't share the same exact struggles as you, but everyone has had their dealings when it comes to sexuality one way or another, so you are not alone. I have some struggles when it comes to SSA, and the same advice I apply to that would be the same for you.

1. Don't assume it as your identity, your identity is in Christ. That means that you are not a slave to your body.
2. You have to stop shaming yourself, and just face that this is what you're working with right now.
3. Be knowledgeable in the Word: know what God says about it, how he views you, how you should view yourself, etc.
3. Have a game plan: Identify the moments that the temptation comes, place a plan on how to overcome it, and execute. Don't keep doing things that you know feeds into the desire.
4. Have an accountability person/talk to a close friend: Worst thing is to isolate, talk to someone you trust, and have them hold you accountable.
5. Be consistent: You may stumble, but God doesn't give anyone more than they can bear. In time you'll find that those thoughts grow less as your desire toward the things of God grows more.

Prayers for you, DM me if you need an ear.

 

[torm3nted_soul]

Thank you for your encouragement. I really appreciate that.

I have a blog at torm3ntedsouls.
Email - torm3ntedsoulblog@gmail.com