I should have hung up and overhearing others

[Heartofsilver]

My mom called me and she filled me with anxiety with all these negative conversation topics. And I told her that I didn't want to talk to her about them and she wouldn't stop. And then she kept me on the phone with her which I should have just hung up sooner. I am so mad at myself for not doing so and telling her stuff I didn't want to talk about. I was tired and I just got off work and I shouldn't have answer the phone then either since I was grumpy. I told her I was too tired after work to see her, so she told me I needed to see a doctor because, I shouldn't be this tired after work to the point where I can't do things after work. I had a very busy day at work today because it was a day where we had a bunch of sales and yes it was very exhausting. After she had kept me on the phone longer I got mad at myself for mentioning some of my friends which I told myself I wouldn't do a while ago when I made the mistake of bringing it up to her the first time. I have friends of all beliefs and right now one of my friends is struggling with sorcery. I am definitely praying for her but, I told myself I would not bring her up to my mom again which I completely forgot and apparently so did my mom. So we got into an argument all over again about how she did not want me hanging out with these people when I told her that I'm going to. She then told me that we're going to talk about this later when I said I was going to hang up and I told her there is nothing she can say or do that's going to make me stop hanging out with my friends. My new friend's boyfriend and I have been friends for 5 years. I'm not just going to stop being friends with him now. What's even worse is I somehow have recently developed feelings for my guy friend which his girlfriend doesn't know and I don't want her to find out. I'm obviously not going to act on my feelings towards him because I'm friends with both him and her and him and I have very different beliefs and it obviously wouldn't work out. I think my guy friend actually had a crush on me before I ever had any sort of feelings for him. Which I honestly cannot help whether I have feelings for him or not which I can still control my actions. My mom decided that she was going to ask me if I had feelings for him or not again which again I forgot that we already had this discussion. Apparently we both forgot because we're forgetful people. And she got all weird probably that I have feelings for him or I did because I didn't want her telling other people about this because I wanted it to be a secret. But I've seen times where my mom has not kept her kept secrets and doesn't respect my privacy as an adult. It's very upsetting how she just shared everything she hears with people when she shouldn't. She has no self-control at all and I also noticed that she is a forgetful person even more forgetful than I can be and I'm hoping that she's going to forget again and hopefully I'm going to remember not to share this stuff with her again. It seems like I cannot talk to her about anything without it causing a huge argument. She wants to hang out with me on Monday but I am too angry to do so now. I also really want her to forget about this conversation.

Another thing that happened this past week was that my fears of my bully situation has gotten worse. The other night I went to another young adults group meeting and my new crush was there. This is a different guy than the one I was talking about previously and he is a Christian. I got dressed up that night because I had the time and I actually hadn't dressed up for anyone in a while. The guy also had plainly showed that he is interested in me. Him and I kind of hung out that night. Later that night though, after the get together I had parked in different area then usual so, I ended up passing by the house again after I left, because I forgot where I parked. When I did I overheard my group laughing and making fun of a guy saying how much he likes her or something. I had a strange feeling that they were talking about me because I thought I could hear my crush sounding super embarrassed in the background under all the noise of all the people saying you know how much he likes someone or something and I'm guessing that it was me they were talking about. I'm just feeling upset because there is a girl in the group who I feel like has been displaying bullying behavior towards me. She is the leader of our Bible study group for women of our age group and she has not been very nice to me I feel. I have asked her some questions about the Bible study and she either evades me when I ask questions or she laughed at me. When she saw my new crush and I standing in the kitchen a couple weeks ago she said hi but she said it very strange. I had a feeling that she was going to do something and now I fear that she has which if she started all that comotion thar night with my new crush; that's pretty rude. I feel like the reason why she's bullying me is because, she is extremely jealous of me at least that's how she's acting. A part of me is very sick of being bullied and I wonder if I should leave the group if it gets worse. Our Bible study that I'm in with her, we talked about really personal stuff in the group and I'm afraid of her sharing my own personal information with other people outside of the group which we have not allowed. It also isn't new to me for heavy set girls to be jealous of me I've had it happen before and I fear it's happening again. It's hard because this is obviously something that I cannot control be it jealousy or people bullying me.

I apologize if this is a jumbled, confusing , and has poor grammar. I was using an audio setting for typing.

 

[SkyWriting]

My mom called me and she filled me with anxiety with all these negative conversation topics. And I told her that I didn't want to talk to her about them and she wouldn't stop. And then she kept me on the phone with her which I should have just hung up sooner. I am so mad at myself for not doing so and telling her stuff I didn't want to talk about. I was tired and I just got off work and I shouldn't have answer the phone then either since I was grumpy. I told her I was too tired after work to see her, so she told me I needed to see a doctor because, I shouldn't be this tired after work to the point where I can't do things after work. I had a very busy day at work today because it was a day where we had a bunch of sales and yes it was very exhausting. After she had kept me on the phone longer I got mad at myself for mentioning some of my friends which I told myself I wouldn't do a while ago when I made the mistake of bringing it up to her the first time. I have friends of all beliefs and right now one of my friends is struggling with sorcery. I am definitely praying for her but, I told myself I would not bring her up to my mom again which I completely forgot and apparently so did my mom. So we got into an argument all over again about how she did not want me hanging out with these people when I told her that I'm going to. She then told me that we're going to talk about this later when I said I was going to hang up and I told her there is nothing she can say or do that's going to make me stop hanging out with my friends. My new friend's boyfriend and I have been friends for 5 years. I'm not just going to stop being friends with him now. What's even worse is I somehow have recently developed feelings for my guy friend which his girlfriend doesn't know and I don't want her to find out. I'm obviously not going to act on my feelings towards him because I'm friends with both him and her and him and I have very different beliefs and it obviously wouldn't work out. I think my guy friend actually had a crush on me before I ever had any sort of feelings for him. Which I honestly cannot help whether I have feelings for him or not which I can still control my actions. My mom decided that she was going to ask me if I had feelings for him or not again which again I forgot that we already had this discussion. Apparently we both forgot because we're forgetful people. And she got all weird probably that I have feelings for him or I did because I didn't want her telling other people about this because I wanted it to be a secret. But I've seen times where my mom has not kept her kept secrets and doesn't respect my privacy as an adult. It's very upsetting how she just shared everything she hears with people when she shouldn't. She has no self-control at all and I also noticed that she is a forgetful person even more forgetful than I can be and I'm hoping that she's going to forget again and hopefully I'm going to remember not to share this stuff with her again. It seems like I cannot talk to her about anything without it causing a huge argument. She wants to hang out with me on Monday but I am too angry to do so now. I also really want her to forget about this conversation.

Another thing that happened this past week was that my fears of my bully situation has gotten worse. The other night I went to another young adults group meeting and my new crush was there. This is a different guy than the one I was talking about previously and he is a Christian. I got dressed up that night because I had the time and I actually hadn't dressed up for anyone in a while. The guy also had plainly showed that he is interested in me. Him and I kind of hung out that night. Later that night though, after the get together I had parked in different area then usual so, I ended up passing by the house again after I left, because I forgot where I parked. When I did I overheard my group laughing and making fun of a guy saying how much he likes her or something. I had a strange feeling that they were talking about me because I thought I could hear my crush sounding super embarrassed in the background under all the noise of all the people saying you know how much he likes someone or something and I'm guessing that it was me they were talking about. I'm just feeling upset because there is a girl in the group who I feel like has been displaying bullying behavior towards me. She is the leader of our Bible study group for women of our age group and she has not been very nice to me I feel. I have asked her some questions about the Bible study and she either evades me when I ask questions or she laughed at me. When she saw my new crush and I standing in the kitchen a couple weeks ago she said hi but she said it very strange. I had a feeling that she was going to do something and now I fear that she has which if she started all that comotion thar night with my new crush; that's pretty rude. I feel like the reason why she's bullying me is because, she is extremely jealous of me at least that's how she's acting. A part of me is very sick of being bullied and I wonder if I should leave the group if it gets worse. Our Bible study that I'm in with her, we talked about really personal stuff in the group and I'm afraid of her sharing my own personal information with other people outside of the group which we have not allowed. It also isn't new to me for heavy set girls to be jealous of me I've had it happen before and I fear it's happening again. It's hard because this is obviously something that I cannot control be it jealousy or people bullying me.

I apologize if this is a jumbled, confusing , and has poor grammar. I was using an audio setting for typing.

You have zero control over what others say or do, and 100% control over how you respond. So if you change what you do, you may be able to get the results you seek. Learn more about yourself and how to respond to others.

 

[A_Thinker]

My mom called me and she filled me with anxiety with all these negative conversation topics. And I told her that I didn't want to talk to her about them and she wouldn't stop. And then she kept me on the phone with her which I should have just hung up sooner. I am so mad at myself for not doing so and telling her stuff I didn't want to talk about. I was tired and I just got off work and I shouldn't have answer the phone then either since I was grumpy. I told her I was too tired after work to see her, so she told me I needed to see a doctor because, I shouldn't be this tired after work to the point where I can't do things after work. I had a very busy day at work today because it was a day where we had a bunch of sales and yes it was very exhausting. After she had kept me on the phone longer I got mad at myself for mentioning some of my friends which I told myself I wouldn't do a while ago when I made the mistake of bringing it up to her the first time. I have friends of all beliefs and right now one of my friends is struggling with sorcery. I am definitely praying for her but, I told myself I would not bring her up to my mom again which I completely forgot and apparently so did my mom. So we got into an argument all over again about how she did not want me hanging out with these people when I told her that I'm going to. She then told me that we're going to talk about this later when I said I was going to hang up and I told her there is nothing she can say or do that's going to make me stop hanging out with my friends. My new friend's boyfriend and I have been friends for 5 years. I'm not just going to stop being friends with him now. What's even worse is I somehow have recently developed feelings for my guy friend which his girlfriend doesn't know and I don't want her to find out. I'm obviously not going to act on my feelings towards him because I'm friends with both him and her and him and I have very different beliefs and it obviously wouldn't work out. I think my guy friend actually had a crush on me before I ever had any sort of feelings for him. Which I honestly cannot help whether I have feelings for him or not which I can still control my actions. My mom decided that she was going to ask me if I had feelings for him or not again which again I forgot that we already had this discussion. Apparently we both forgot because we're forgetful people. And she got all weird probably that I have feelings for him or I did because I didn't want her telling other people about this because I wanted it to be a secret. But I've seen times where my mom has not kept her kept secrets and doesn't respect my privacy as an adult. It's very upsetting how she just shared everything she hears with people when she shouldn't. She has no self-control at all and I also noticed that she is a forgetful person even more forgetful than I can be and I'm hoping that she's going to forget again and hopefully I'm going to remember not to share this stuff with her again. It seems like I cannot talk to her about anything without it causing a huge argument. She wants to hang out with me on Monday but I am too angry to do so now. I also really want her to forget about this conversation.

Another thing that happened this past week was that my fears of my bully situation has gotten worse. The other night I went to another young adults group meeting and my new crush was there. This is a different guy than the one I was talking about previously and he is a Christian. I got dressed up that night because I had the time and I actually hadn't dressed up for anyone in a while. The guy also had plainly showed that he is interested in me. Him and I kind of hung out that night. Later that night though, after the get together I had parked in different area then usual so, I ended up passing by the house again after I left, because I forgot where I parked. When I did I overheard my group laughing and making fun of a guy saying how much he likes her or something. I had a strange feeling that they were talking about me because I thought I could hear my crush sounding super embarrassed in the background under all the noise of all the people saying you know how much he likes someone or something and I'm guessing that it was me they were talking about. I'm just feeling upset because there is a girl in the group who I feel like has been displaying bullying behavior towards me. She is the leader of our Bible study group for women of our age group and she has not been very nice to me I feel. I have asked her some questions about the Bible study and she either evades me when I ask questions or she laughed at me. When she saw my new crush and I standing in the kitchen a couple weeks ago she said hi but she said it very strange. I had a feeling that she was going to do something and now I fear that she has which if she started all that comotion thar night with my new crush; that's pretty rude. I feel like the reason why she's bullying me is because, she is extremely jealous of me at least that's how she's acting. A part of me is very sick of being bullied and I wonder if I should leave the group if it gets worse. Our Bible study that I'm in with her, we talked about really personal stuff in the group and I'm afraid of her sharing my own personal information with other people outside of the group which we have not allowed. It also isn't new to me for heavy set girls to be jealous of me I've had it happen before and I fear it's happening again. It's hard because this is obviously something that I cannot control be it jealousy or people bullying me.

I apologize if this is a jumbled, confusing , and has poor grammar. I was using an audio setting for typing.

A friend who dabbles in the occult is a danger, whether they mean to be or not. Hopefully, it's just a passing thing, but you must be careful around them. Do not allow yourself to get drawn in to their beliefs or practices. Be careful of accepting gifts from them. I understand why your mother is concerned.

Regarding everything else, concentrate on your Bible studies. Let Christ become the most important thing in your life, ... and let Him straighten everything else out. Your best in life will result from a focus on Christ ... and His will for you. Let Him carry you through everything else that is going on.