I searched for spiritual directors online,

[Thatgirloncfforums]

This was the only thing that I really found:
Spiritual Directors - Angela Merici Center for Spirituality

I also thought about contacting Fredricka Matthewes Green to see if she has any suggestions.

My previous spiritual mother (director) didn't have any training in spiritual formation, so I don't plan on repeating the same with Fredricka, but maybe she knows of someone.

It's also very difficult in that I am not settled in any one denomination. But that is part of what I need guidance in.

I'm leery. When I first met my previous spiritual mother, I felt led. It was something that I didn't really seek out as my real mother was still alive at the time (my mom was a very holy woman who guided me in my faith). Now that I am directionless and spiritually dry, I feel as if I am self-willing this path, which is something that makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't know what to do. I need a companion, I can't walk alone.

Should I contact Fredricka or these other women? Suggestions?

 

[chevyontheriver]

This was the only thing that I really found:
Spiritual Directors - Angela Merici Center for Spirituality

I also thought about contacting Fredricka Matthewes Green to see if she has any suggestions.

My previous spiritual mother (director) didn't have any training in spiritual formation, so I don't plan on repeating the same with Fredricka, but maybe she knows of someone.

It's also very difficult in that I am not settled in any one denomination. But that is part of what I need guidance in.

I'm leery. When I first met my previous spiritual mother, I felt led. It was something that I didn't really seek out as my real mother was still alive at the time (my mom was a very holy woman who guided me in my faith). Now that I am directionless and spiritually dry, I feel as if I am self-willing this path, which is something that makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't know what to do. I need a companion, I can't walk alone.

Should I contact Fredricka or these other women? Suggestions?

I would think you would do better to approach this more locally. Do you know of any good local retreat houses? You could start there. See who they recommend. Know a good pastor? See who they recommend.

This is a very, how shall I say it, challenging thing to get the right spiritual director, or the right confessor, or the right retreat house for you. You want someone who is actually doctrinally orthodox but that alone isn't enough. Being orthodox does not automatically make for a good spiritual director. You want someone who you can work with. And you don't always find that on the first or even second try.

I might ask you what you are seeking to gain from being under spiritual direction? Are you ready for it?

 

[Ezana]

In addition to the above questions, what exactly do you mean by "spiritual direction"? There are different ideas and traditions regarding what it is and what it looks like. The website you linked is totally not what comes to mind when I think of spiritual direction in my tradition. What comes to your mind? What is it specifically you are looking for and why?

 

[Paidiske]

I'm leery. When I first met my previous spiritual mother, I felt led. It was something that I didn't really seek out as my real mother was still alive at the time (my mom was a very holy woman who guided me in my faith). Now that I am directionless and spiritually dry, I feel as if I am self-willing this path, which is something that makes me very uncomfortable. I just don't know what to do. I need a companion, I can't walk alone.

Should I contact Fredricka or these other women? Suggestions?

I first went to a spiritual director not because I particularly wanted to, but because it was required of me. Even so, I've found each spiritual director I've seen helpful, although some have been a better fit than others.

I think, if that link is what you found close to you, contact them. Ask their advice, and see if they have any options that look like they might work. If not, see if they can refer you to anyone else.

I would imagine that these days you could find someone not-local who would see you over Zoom or the like (which is in fact how I see my spiritual director now), but I think it would be better to see someone in person if you can, even just as a starting point.

One of my previous spiritual directors used to advise people to see a potential spiritual director more than once, but that if it wasn't working by a third visit, not to feel obliged to stay. It's okay if someone's not a good fit.

I'd also add, it might be worth not limiting yourself to women. The best spiritual director I've ever had is a man.

 

[Tolworth John]

It's also very difficult in that I am not settled in any one denomination. But that is part of what I need guidance in.

May I suggest that you write out what you are looking for in a church.
Do you want/need ritual and litergical services?
Do you want biblical based preaching?
A church community involved with the local community? etc etc etc

Then using google look at the churches in your area, check out there statement of faith, watch there on line services, visit those you like on Sunday and talk to the preacher. Rate the churches you visit on friendlynes, understandable order of service, sermon content and relevence to daily living.

Check out the christianityexplored web site for churches in your general area and repeat.

Among all the churches you will find one that meets your needs.

I use two standards, does the surmon challenge me and is the church involved in local and internatinal evangelism.
In my experience churches that are doing these are friendly living with real people who care.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I would think you would do better to approach this more locally. Do you know of any good local retreat houses? You could start there. See who they recommend. Know a good pastor? See who they recommend.

]

I tried to speak with my pastor about it. He recommended that I attend Concordia seminary since I am into systematic theology. When I was Catholic I was considering joining the Dominicans. So I do have that studious bent about me. But in thinking further, I don't think that theology is something I necessarily want to focus on. I also am a caretaker as I mentioned so I can't travel far for very long. But retreats are something that I could probably manage. Since leaving Catholicism, I don't have access to a priest or parish. I mean, I could call one up, but it would be out of the blue and that just seems awkward. The LCMS (the church synod that I attend now) doesn't have a monastic or religious vocational tradition.

This is a very, how shall I say it, challenging thing to get the right spiritual director, or the right confessor, or the right retreat house for you. You want someone who is actually doctrinally orthodox but that alone isn't enough. Being orthodox does not automatically make for a good spiritual director. You want someone who you can work with. And you don't always find that on the first or even second try.

Right.

I might ask you what you are seeking to gain from being under spiritual direction? Are you ready for it?

Yes. I think so. I have always been aware that I can't go it alone. I want to grow in grace, to become holy, to be a saint. But without sounding self-centered and while keeping the focus on Jesus, I need to become the center of someone's administrations, because at the end of the day, this walk is uniquely mine, it's my heart, mind and soul which is trying to make their way toward God. My previous spiritual mother was excellent in many ways. She was an author and poet. She brought out a great deal of beauty and Godliness in me. But she was also focused on her career, her friends and her own battles to them point that it was spiritually damaging to me, because I always found myself conforming to her world and the viewpoint of her friends.

I want to avoid this. I don't want to loose myself again, which being in a constant sacrificial position is all to easy to do. I want a mother who will bring out the joy of who I am as an unique person in Jesus, to help me develop my spiritual skill set and avoid personal pit falls and weaknesses. Someone who is genuinely interested in me and my goals; who cares about me. At the same time, I wish ever so much to have someone who I can assist in their own ventures, since I am mission oriented and am at my best on the frontlines of a crusade. In a word, I want Mary.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

In addition to the above questions, what exactly do you mean by "spiritual direction"? There are different ideas and traditions regarding what it is and what it looks like. The website you linked is totally not what comes to mind when I think of spiritual direction in my tradition. What comes to your mind? What is it specifically you are looking for and why?

What I really want is the life of a monastic with a mother abbess and sisters dedicated to each other and to a common spiritual mission. I'd like to get as close to that as possible. I am not afraid of discipline. My former mother was very hard on me and it's something that I need. But, I also need to know what it's like to be genuinely loved by her and by God.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

Thank you. I will contact them.

I first went to a spiritual director not because I particularly wanted to, but because it was required of me. Even so, I've found each spiritual director I've seen helpful, although some have been a better fit than others.

I think, if that link is what you found close to you, contact them. Ask their advice, and see if they have any options that look like they might work. If not, see if they can refer you to anyone else.

I would imagine that these days you could find someone not-local who would see you over Zoom or the like (which is in fact how I see my spiritual director now), but I think it would be better to see someone in person if you can, even just as a starting point.

One of my previous spiritual directors used to advise people to see a potential spiritual director more than once, but that if it wasn't working by a third visit, not to feel obliged to stay. It's okay if someone's not a good fit.

I'd also add, it might be worth not limiting yourself to women. The best spiritual director I've ever had is a man.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I want to live according to the truth; that which is God's and also that which is mine (as someone created in his image)

May I suggest that you write out what you are looking for in a church.
Do you want/need ritual and litergical services?
Do you want biblical based preaching?
A church community involved with the local community? etc etc etc

Then using google look at the churches in your area, check out there statement of faith, watch there on line services, visit those you like on Sunday and talk to the preacher. Rate the churches you visit on friendlynes, understandable order of service, sermon content and relevence to daily living.

Check out the christianityexplored web site for churches in your general area and repeat.

Among all the churches you will find one that meets your needs.

I use two standards, does the surmon challenge me and is the church involved in local and internatinal evangelism.
In my experience churches that are doing these are friendly living with real people who care.

 

[chevyontheriver]

What I really want is the life of a monastic with a mother abbess and sisters dedicated to each other and to a common spiritual mission. I'd like to get as close to that as possible. I am not afraid of discipline.

You don’t have any Lutheran options for that as far as I know. And starting your own would be a steep uphill journey which I suspect would get you zero Lutheran support.

 

[chevyontheriver]

]

I tried to speak with my pastor about it. He recommended that I attend Concordia seminary since I am into systematic theology. When I was Catholic I was considering joining the Dominicans. So I do have that studious bent about me. But in thinking further, I don't think that theology is something I necessarily want to focus on. I also am a caretaker as I mentioned so I can't travel far for very long. But retreats are something that I could probably manage. Since leaving Catholicism, I don't have access to a priest or parish. I mean, I could call one up, but it would be out of the blue and that just seems awkward. The LCMS (the church synod that I attend now) doesn't have a monastic or religious vocational tradition.


Right.



Yes. I think so. I have always been aware that I can't go it alone. I want to grow in grace, to become holy, to be a saint. But without sounding self-centered and while keeping the focus on Jesus, I need to become the center of someone's administrations, because at the end of the day, this walk is uniquely mine, it's my heart, mind and soul which is trying to make their way toward God. My previous spiritual mother was excellent in many ways. She was an author and poet. She brought out a great deal of beauty and Godliness in me. But she was also focused on her career, her friends and her own battles to them point that it was spiritually damaging to me, because I always found myself conforming to her world and the viewpoint of her friends.

I want to avoid this. I don't want to loose myself again, which being in a constant sacrificial position is all to easy to do. I want a mother who will bring out the joy of who I am as an unique person in Jesus, to help me develop my spiritual skill set and avoid personal pit falls and weaknesses. Someone who is genuinely interested in me and my goals; who cares about me. At the same time, I wish ever so much to have someone who I can assist in their own ventures, since I am mission oriented and am at my best on the frontlines of a crusade. In a word, I want Mary.

Spiritual direction is not an exercise in learning theology. You have it right that it is about getting heart and mind and soul pointed in the same direction with some forward movement. You mentioned Dominicans, who are often excellent in spiritual direction. And they are all over the world. Find one and ask of the possibilities. As to retreats, they are usually open to people who are not Catholic. Not all retreat houses are created equal. The first one I tried was OK, the second flunked miserably, the third I went back yearly for 27 years, and the new one I’m getting used to. Individual retreat directors aren’t all equal either. Some great, some good, some OK, and some I really wonder about.

I’m thinking that all serious Christians should probably have a spiritual director. Probably someone other than their confessor if that can be done. Maybe a pastor or not.

 

[Paidiske]

At the same time, I wish ever so much to have someone who I can assist in their own ventures, since I am mission oriented and am at my best on the frontlines of a crusade.

Hmm. Spiritual direction would not give you this.

The closest suggestion I can make that would, is to find a parish with a woman in ministry. I am not sure whether your branch of Lutheranism ordains women, but perhaps if not you could find somewhere where a lay woman does a lot of pastoral work or the like, who would be willing to take you under her wing.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

My synod doesn't ordain women. I wish in a way it would. My spiritual mother wanted to become a priest but she now believes that she was on a power trip. She would have made a good one. A female priest would perhaps be ideal. That is why I back away from it. I don't want my needs to dictate my orthodoxy. In the church I attend the women (for lack of men) oversee everything, except for elder and pastor, but because the pastoral office is closed to us and we have nothing at all like religious life, contemplative and Eucharistic roles are likewise non-existent or closed. I have gotten as close as I can by taking up the secretarial work (I work alongside my pastor and prepare the Psalms for the Liturgy) as well as help out in the sacristy.

Hmm. Spiritual direction would not give you this.

The closest suggestion I can make that would, is to find a parish with a woman in ministry. I am not sure whether your branch of Lutheranism ordains women, but perhaps if not you could find somewhere where a lay woman does a lot of pastoral work or the like, who would be willing to take you under her wing.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

Paidiske said that a spiritual director would not give me what I need. What are your thoughts?

Spiritual direction is not an exercise in learning theology. You have it right that it is about getting heart and mind and soul pointed in the same direction with some forward movement. You mentioned Dominicans, who are often excellent in spiritual direction. And they are all over the world. Find one and ask of the possibilities. As to retreats, they are usually open to people who are not Catholic. Not all retreat houses are created equal. The first one I tried was OK, the second flunked miserably, the third I went back yearly for 27 years, and the new one I’m getting used to. Individual retreat directors aren’t all equal either. Some great, some good, some OK, and some I really wonder about.

I’m thinking that all serious Christians should probably have a spiritual director. Probably someone other than their confessor if that can be done. Maybe a pastor or not.

 

[Paidiske]

My synod doesn't ordain women. I wish in a way it would. My spiritual mother wanted to become a priest but she now believes that she was on a power trip. She would have made a good one. A female priest would perhaps be ideal. That is why I back away from it. I don't want my needs to dictate my orthodoxy. In the church I attend the women (for lack of men) oversee everything, except for elder and pastor, but because the pastoral office is closed to us and we have nothing at all like religious life, contemplative and Eucharistic roles are likewise non-existent or closed. I have gotten as close as I can by taking up the secretarial work (I work alongside my pastor and prepare the Psalms for the Liturgy) as well as help out in the sacristy.

Well, of course, I don't see women's ordination as problematic, so there's that.

To be pedantic, I didn't say a spiritual director won't give you what you need. I said he or she wouldn't give you what you're describing here as what you're looking for, which is not quite exactly the same thing.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

Ah. Okay. Thank you.

Well, of course, I don't see women's ordination as problematic, so there's that.

To be pedantic, I didn't say a spiritual director won't give you what you need. I said he or she wouldn't give you what you're describing here as what you're looking for, which is not quite exactly the same thing.

 

[chevyontheriver]

Paidiske said that a spiritual director would not give me what I need. What are your thoughts?

Well, what do you need? Or think you need? I don't always know what I need, in fact mostly I think I know what I need, but I'm a bit off the mark. Spiritual direction isn't about learning theology. The goal isn't to understand the Trinity or to comprehend the difference between Calvin and Arminius. It isn't to get you saved. It is to get you maturing in Christ.

I'm thinking your practical resources for this are going to be Catholic. Many but not all Catholic clergy do spiritual direction. Some religious sisters will also do it. And there are lay Catholics trained and approved to do it. Ask a Catholic priest in your area to get you in touch with someone.

 

[Tolworth John]

I want to live according to the truth; that which is God's and also that which is mine (as someone created in his image)

Just what does that mean?


Paul makes it very clear that we are to live and work in a hostile world as people who belong to God/heaven.

Jesus said if you love me you will obey my commands, that is Love God and Love others.

How would you do this?

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I do this. I take care of my sister, I am in the world interacting with all sorts of people. I fall short. I need help to be a better Christian. I also tend toward more contemplative solitary needs but my lifestyle is the complete opposite of that, so I need help in this area too.

Just what does that mean?


Paul makes it very clear that we are to live and work in a hostile world as people who belong to God/heaven.

Jesus said if you love me you will obey my commands, that is Love God and Love others.

How would you do this?

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

This is a good point. I will see if I can contact a Dominican order or something similar. I have the advantage of living in an archdiocese. I will let you guys know how it turns out.

Well, what do you need? Or think you need? I don't always know what I need, in fact mostly I think I know what I need, but I'm a bit off the mark. Spiritual direction isn't about learning theology. The goal isn't to understand the Trinity or to comprehend the difference between Calvin and Arminius. It isn't to get you saved. It is to get you maturing in Christ.

I'm thinking your practical resources for this are going to be Catholic. Many but not all Catholic clergy do spiritual direction. Some religious sisters will also do it. And there are lay Catholics trained and approved to do it. Ask a Catholic priest in your area to get you in touch with someone.