- Jun 15, 2020
- 35
- 45
- 31
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
TRIGGER WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
What happened was my pastor wouldn't let me sing in church anymore because in anger I made a bunch of threats to my sister on messenger, which I apologized for. So I ended up making a facebook post about him not letting me sing anymore, in which he responded by kicking me out of the church. I then make another facebook post (yeah I need to get off fb), in which he responds by making a facebook post showing all the hurtful threatening messages I sent to my sister. I ended up having a major panic attack and attempted suicide in the process. Once again, dumbo me made another facebook post, this time mentioning his name and telling everyone what kind of pastor he really is and how he triggers people to commit suicide. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. A few days later I made a public apology. The guilt was eating me up and I even asked God for forgiveness, but the guilt was too much and I attempted suicide again, which caused me to stay in the hospital and get mental help. But now he is shutting his church down because of how I ruined his name. A church member who is close to me even said my soul is in danger and that I need to be held responsible for what I've done to the church. But I made a public apology, personally apologized to him, sought mental health treatment, got God back in my life. What more am I supposed to do? He supposedly was going to be holding church at my sister's husband's church, in which my brother in law invited me to come. Well my ex pastor said that if I show up, he's getting a restraining order against me or is going to walk out and not preach at all. He actually canceled services because he found out I was planning on coming. My family goes to this church and I really want to go with my daddy, but I am not allowed.
What happened was my pastor wouldn't let me sing in church anymore because in anger I made a bunch of threats to my sister on messenger, which I apologized for. So I ended up making a facebook post about him not letting me sing anymore, in which he responded by kicking me out of the church. I then make another facebook post (yeah I need to get off fb), in which he responds by making a facebook post showing all the hurtful threatening messages I sent to my sister. I ended up having a major panic attack and attempted suicide in the process. Once again, dumbo me made another facebook post, this time mentioning his name and telling everyone what kind of pastor he really is and how he triggers people to commit suicide. I shouldn't have done that, but I did. A few days later I made a public apology. The guilt was eating me up and I even asked God for forgiveness, but the guilt was too much and I attempted suicide again, which caused me to stay in the hospital and get mental help. But now he is shutting his church down because of how I ruined his name. A church member who is close to me even said my soul is in danger and that I need to be held responsible for what I've done to the church. But I made a public apology, personally apologized to him, sought mental health treatment, got God back in my life. What more am I supposed to do? He supposedly was going to be holding church at my sister's husband's church, in which my brother in law invited me to come. Well my ex pastor said that if I show up, he's getting a restraining order against me or is going to walk out and not preach at all. He actually canceled services because he found out I was planning on coming. My family goes to this church and I really want to go with my daddy, but I am not allowed.