I really need help,I’m having a crisis.

[Blaise N]

I really need help,after posting many threads about repentance these past 4 days,I woke up this morning and my life spiraled out of control(quite literally and not figuratively) I began to have thoughts.I feel like God doesn’t love me because of my inappropriate contentography sin problem I repented of,I’m afraid it’s too late to repent,I’m scared that I’m condemned,it feels like my trust in Christ is failing.I firmly stopped my ill behavior about a month and a half ago and since then I have seen and looked at content that is explicit.But now I’ve put my
Foot down,but now am having so many intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks.Some stating that I’m forcing myself to have faith,I’m feeling hopeless,condemned,and depressed.And concerning reformed theology(if it is true) I’m afraid my past inappropriate contentography sins means I’m not an elect or loved by God.Then reading this article How God Saved, Freed, and Reformed Dale Partridge—A Personal Testimony. Relearn.org scares me even more when it said “the miracle of the Gospel isn’t that it changes what you do—no—the miracle is that it changes what you want to do. For example, an atheist who goes through AA to end their alcoholism may stop drinking out of sheer self-discipline, but the truth is, they’ll always be an alcoholic. However, when a Christian is born again, they are no longer a inappropriate content-addict or an alcoholic or a druggie or a hooker, they are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)” I feel so scared and hopeless,I’ve asked Jesus countless times in these past 4 days to forgive me,telling him I’m sorry.I see inappropriate contentography now as worthless as it only brings temporary pleasure while he brings eternal and it only drives a wedge between me and him.I feeling empty and I feel like I can’t come to Christ because All I want is his help and peace,and I’m confused about not desiring Gods right now,I can’t even cry without the thought of my tears being fake intruding into me.Please if there is anyone out there,please help me.

I know there are many people here who are children of God,and Jesus always listens to his children.please in your behalf can you please ask him to forgive me and to love me if he doesn’t,which I fear.Please help me because it feels like I don’t even want him and I’m feeling so confused,please help me.Why am I going through this,please plea to god to help me


It feels like now all the things I’ve said feel within me are the true me,maybe I don’t want God or maybe I don’t want Jesus and those are scaring me and I’m refusing them if they are my true me.I’m so confused please help me

 

[TheWhat?]

You should read on concupiscence. The important thing to note is that there are a variety of views on the subject, ranging from the most extreme (found within protestantism), which will seek to convince you that you are hopelessly and utterly full of inescapable sin, to less extreme views. The Jews have a view comparable to the Catholics -- the desire related to procreation is not itself a sin, but it can lead you into transgression.

I would suggest looking into these things and cultivating an informed conscience, leading to "sincere love" toward others. That can help to rebuild your internal compass. Keep praying. Seek out the Spirit, who, by the way, is responsible for cleansing the heart (see Acts 15). That means you have to let him into your darkness.

Remember that, in this world, society might try to force you into sin. Such things are often disguised as holy. I'm certain God understands this.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

You're only 19 my friend. God is patient with us regarding repentance and conversion, so have patience yourself. Baby steps at first. God doesn't demand change all at once. Another thing to remember is that your brain isn't fully wired until you are about 25, and at 19 lots of things can be confusing.

 

[William J]

I just want to say that God loves you so, so much and God has forgiven you for watching inappropriate content and for anything else you have done against Him. I pray that God will grant you His peace.

 

[Blaise N]

You're only 19 my friend. God is patient with us regarding repentance and conversion, so have patience yourself. Baby steps at first, which are often the hardest.

I converted truly at 15 and had a inappropriate content problem since then

 

[anna ~ grace]

Hang in there, Blaise. It’s ok. If I had a penny for every time I slipped back into sin that I thought I was over and done with, I’d be rich. Hang in there. Christ is with you, fighting this battle. Learn to tune out your invasive thoughts. They will only distract and frighten you. They’re not truly coming from you; they’re literally invasive. Tune them out, focus on Christ. Repentance is a lifelong journey, friend.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

I converted truly at 15 and had a inappropriate content problem since then

It's how we finish that is important, but we must stay on course even if we seem to fall behind at times.

 

[Blaise N]

Hang in there, Blaise. It’s ok. If I had a penny for every time I slipped back into sin that I thought I was over and done with, I’d be rich. Hang in there. Christ is with you, fighting this battle. Learn to tune out your invasive thoughts. They will only distract and frighten you. They’re not truly coming from you; they’re literally invasive. Tune them out, focus on Christ. Repentance is a lifelong journey, friend.

Thank you and Im sorry,I’m having mood swings.one moment I’m scared and crying,the other I’m calm or don’t care,and it’s back and forth,then I have thoughts that feel completely real saying that your faking it all and your lying in your emotions,and those are some sort of convincing,feeling-real like lies.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Thank you and Im sorry,I’m having mood swings.one moment I’m scared and crying,the other I’m calm or don’t care,and it’s back and forth,then I have thoughts that feel completely real saying that your faking it all and your lying in your emotions,and those are some sort of convincing,feeling-real like lies.

I understand. I struggle with with these thoughts, too. Tune them out. Pray when they start invading. Just pray. Pop you headphones on and listen to some Christian music. That often helps me. Just keep the focus on Christ, keep repenting (it’s a continual process, I have to repent of things hourly, at least), and keep going. He’ll help you. I’ll keep you in my prayers, Blaise.

 

[Lost4words]

Remember, Jesus came to save sinners.

However many times you fall, get right back up and head towards the loving, merciful arms of God.

Persevere in prayer. Lay your thoughts etc at the feet of God. Never give in to the devil. He wants you to fail.

Keep trying your very best not to sin. Remembering that if you do, you can turn to God for his undying love and forgiveness for you.

God bless and guide you

 

[anna ~ grace]

I’m going to share a song with you that helps me, and calms me. It’s based on the Trisagion prayer; Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us. It’s in Aramaic. In folk-rock form. The band’s Indian Ocean. Here you go;

 

[Will Joseph]

When i relapsed back into watching inappropriate content, I felt very bad too. But then I realized that my relapses aren't entirely my fault. If people keep showing me explicit and sexual images without my consent, and if people are encouraging me to think sexually while discouraging me from disliking sex; then I'm somewhat being forced into a inappropriate contentographic mindset. And when a man expresses dislike or disgust towards sex or sexual women, some societies mistreat or isolate that man. Sometimes my battle feels like a lonely one.

I do continue avoiding inappropriate content after a relapse, but I don't get too upset when I relapse. It's just not entirely my fault, especially if I'm in any environment that allows sexual communication. When I relapse, I just learn what environments and things to avoid, brush myself off, and get back onto the road towards my goal.

My greatest streak was 23 days without inappropriate content or sexting! I try to celebrate that victory often. Heck, I might celebrate it every month. I'm proud of it and I'm aiming for a greater streak. I know I can do it! I think you can too.

 

[Hezekiah81]

I really need help,after posting many threads about repentance these past 4 days,I woke up this morning and my life spiraled out of control(quite literally and not figuratively) I began to have thoughts.I feel like God doesn’t love me because of my inappropriate contentography sin problem I repented of,I’m afraid it’s too late to repent,I’m scared that I’m condemned,it feels like my trust in Christ is failing.I firmly stopped my ill behavior about a month and a half ago and since then I have seen and looked at content that is explicit.But now I’ve put my
Foot down,but now am having so many intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks.Some stating that I’m forcing myself to have faith,I’m feeling hopeless,condemned,and depressed.And concerning reformed theology(if it is true) I’m afraid my past inappropriate contentography sins means I’m not an elect or loved by God.Then reading this article How God Saved, Freed, and Reformed Dale Partridge—A Personal Testimony. Relearn.org scares me even more when it said “the miracle of the Gospel isn’t that it changes what you do—no—the miracle is that it changes what you want to do. For example, an atheist who goes through AA to end their alcoholism may stop drinking out of sheer self-discipline, but the truth is, they’ll always be an alcoholic. However, when a Christian is born again, they are no longer a inappropriate content-addict or an alcoholic or a druggie or a hooker, they are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)” I feel so scared and hopeless,I’ve asked Jesus countless times in these past 4 days to forgive me,telling him I’m sorry.I see inappropriate contentography now as worthless as it only brings temporary pleasure while he brings eternal and it only drives a wedge between me and him.I feeling empty and I feel like I can’t come to Christ because All I want is his help and peace,and I’m confused about not desiring Gods right now,I can’t even cry without the thought of my tears being fake intruding into me.Please if there is anyone out there,please help me.

I know there are many people here who are children of God,and Jesus always listens to his children.please in your behalf can you please ask him to forgive me and to love me if he doesn’t,which I fear.Please help me because it feels like I don’t even want him and I’m feeling so confused,please help me.Why am I going through this,please plea to god to help me


It feels like now all the things I’ve said feel within me are the true me,maybe I don’t want God or maybe I don’t want Jesus and those are scaring me and I’m refusing them if they are my true me.I’m so confused please help me

Resist the devil and he will flee from you, seek God diligently and you will find him.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I really need help,after posting many threads about repentance these past 4 days,I woke up this morning and my life spiraled out of control(quite literally and not figuratively) I began to have thoughts.I feel like God doesn’t love me because of my inappropriate contentography sin problem I repented of,I’m afraid it’s too late to repent,I’m scared that I’m condemned,it feels like my trust in Christ is failing.I firmly stopped my ill behavior about a month and a half ago and since then I have seen and looked at content that is explicit.But now I’ve put my
Foot down,but now am having so many intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks.Some stating that I’m forcing myself to have faith,I’m feeling hopeless,condemned,and depressed.And concerning reformed theology(if it is true) I’m afraid my past inappropriate contentography sins means I’m not an elect or loved by God.Then reading this article How God Saved, Freed, and Reformed Dale Partridge—A Personal Testimony. Relearn.org scares me even more when it said “the miracle of the Gospel isn’t that it changes what you do—no—the miracle is that it changes what you want to do. For example, an atheist who goes through AA to end their alcoholism may stop drinking out of sheer self-discipline, but the truth is, they’ll always be an alcoholic. However, when a Christian is born again, they are no longer a inappropriate content-addict or an alcoholic or a druggie or a hooker, they are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)” I feel so scared and hopeless,I’ve asked Jesus countless times in these past 4 days to forgive me,telling him I’m sorry.I see inappropriate contentography now as worthless as it only brings temporary pleasure while he brings eternal and it only drives a wedge between me and him.I feeling empty and I feel like I can’t come to Christ because All I want is his help and peace,and I’m confused about not desiring Gods right now,I can’t even cry without the thought of my tears being fake intruding into me.Please if there is anyone out there,please help me.

I know there are many people here who are children of God,and Jesus always listens to his children.please in your behalf can you please ask him to forgive me and to love me if he doesn’t,which I fear.Please help me because it feels like I don’t even want him and I’m feeling so confused,please help me.Why am I going through this,please plea to god to help me


It feels like now all the things I’ve said feel within me are the true me,maybe I don’t want God or maybe I don’t want Jesus and those are scaring me and I’m refusing them if they are my true me.I’m so confused please help me

The bible says that while we have faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus, while we can see that we are saved. All of the other struggles will come into line. The bible tells us "it is not that we loved God, but God loved us and gave himself for us". It does not matter how much love you feel for God, although it is good to have a love for God, all that really matters is God is forgiving you.

Yes, you need to move away from sin, for the Bible is clear that it is a choice between sin and God, that determines our destiny.

John 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

Job 36:10-12 He openeth also their ear to instruction, And commandeth that they return from iniquity. If they hearken and serve him, They shall spend their days in prosperity, And their years in pleasures. But if they hearken not, they shall perish by the sword, And they shall die without knowledge.

But don't fear you are lost, it is a process, as a young man I struggled with faith, I always tried to do what is right, but sometimes I fell into sin, and I hated myself for it. Life was rough, but now it has settled down for me, the same will happen for you, as you focus on obedience, and God's grace and forgiveness.

 

[Tolworth John]

However, when a Christian is born again, they are no longer a inappropriate content-addict or an alcoholic or a druggie or a hooker, they are a new creation

Yes and No. Just because you are a Christian does not mean you are no longer a sinner.
Some people are miraculously cure of there addiction, many are not and have to struggle with that temptation.

Please seek professional advice about your intrusive thoughts.
for self help look up the web site: 25 tips for successfully treating your ocd.
It has a number of self help tips, but you may need medication to enable you to regain control of yourthoughts.

do please remember you are saved by Jesus, not by what you do or think, he died and rose again for your salvation so he isn't going to let you go easily.

 

[Mari17]

I really need help,after posting many threads about repentance these past 4 days,I woke up this morning and my life spiraled out of control(quite literally and not figuratively) I began to have thoughts.I feel like God doesn’t love me because of my inappropriate contentography sin problem I repented of,I’m afraid it’s too late to repent,I’m scared that I’m condemned,it feels like my trust in Christ is failing.I firmly stopped my ill behavior about a month and a half ago and since then I have seen and looked at content that is explicit.But now I’ve put my
Foot down,but now am having so many intrusive thoughts and anxiety attacks.Some stating that I’m forcing myself to have faith,I’m feeling hopeless,condemned,and depressed.And concerning reformed theology(if it is true) I’m afraid my past inappropriate contentography sins means I’m not an elect or loved by God.Then reading this article How God Saved, Freed, and Reformed Dale Partridge—A Personal Testimony. Relearn.org scares me even more when it said “the miracle of the Gospel isn’t that it changes what you do—no—the miracle is that it changes what you want to do. For example, an atheist who goes through AA to end their alcoholism may stop drinking out of sheer self-discipline, but the truth is, they’ll always be an alcoholic. However, when a Christian is born again, they are no longer a inappropriate content-addict or an alcoholic or a druggie or a hooker, they are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)” I feel so scared and hopeless,I’ve asked Jesus countless times in these past 4 days to forgive me,telling him I’m sorry.I see inappropriate contentography now as worthless as it only brings temporary pleasure while he brings eternal and it only drives a wedge between me and him.I feeling empty and I feel like I can’t come to Christ because All I want is his help and peace,and I’m confused about not desiring Gods right now,I can’t even cry without the thought of my tears being fake intruding into me.Please if there is anyone out there,please help me.

I know there are many people here who are children of God,and Jesus always listens to his children.please in your behalf can you please ask him to forgive me and to love me if he doesn’t,which I fear.Please help me because it feels like I don’t even want him and I’m feeling so confused,please help me.Why am I going through this,please plea to god to help me


It feels like now all the things I’ve said feel within me are the true me,maybe I don’t want God or maybe I don’t want Jesus and those are scaring me and I’m refusing them if they are my true me.I’m so confused please help me

OCD likes to make things as confusing as possible. It likes to make us think that our thoughts and feelings indicate what is true about us. But, they don't always indicate the truth, especially when we have OCD. The bottom line is, following God is your choice, and your feelings can't change that. No matter what you've done, no matter what terrible thoughts and feelings are swirling around in your brain, you can still CHOOSE to follow God from this moment forward. And every time you mess up, you can keep making that same choice again. Also, as others have pointed out, being transformed into Christlikeness is usually a process. We keep repenting, and we keep drawing close to God, which gives Him the opportunity to change us from the inside out, to change even our desires.

Take a deep breath. You're not alone. You're not the only person struggling with inappropriate contentography, and you're not the only person struggling with OCD. Please let me know if you need more resources about OCD. There's a FB support group you could join, and there are websites that you can use to learn about the most effective ways to deal with OCD. Please keep learning, because that knowledge is power and can be used to help diminish your obsessions and compulsions.

 

[Blaise N]

OCD likes to make things as confusing as possible. It likes to make us think that our thoughts and feelings indicate what is true about us. But, they don't always indicate the truth, especially when we have OCD. The bottom line is, following God is your choice, and your feelings can't change that. No matter what you've done, no matter what terrible thoughts and feelings are swirling around in your brain, you can still CHOOSE to follow God from this moment forward. And every time you mess up, you can keep making that same choice again. Also, as others have pointed out, being transformed into Christlikeness is usually a process. We keep repenting, and we keep drawing close to God, which gives Him the opportunity to change us from the inside out, to change even our desires.

Take a deep breath. You're not alone. You're not the only person struggling with inappropriate contentography, and you're not the only person struggling with OCD. Please let me know if you need more resources about OCD. There's a FB support group you could join, and there are websites that you can use to learn about the most effective ways to deal with OCD. Please keep learning, because that knowledge is power and can be used to help diminish your obsessions and compulsions.

Yes!,Though I am having intrusive thought that are doubting wether “I/you really choose God” I’m not listening to them,they are distressing and worrisome but I remind myself that no item,thing,person,animal,or object can make me eternally happy or hopeful other than Jesus and Jesus is my only hope for OCD counseling.He’s the only one who can help me,that’s why I choose him.

 

[Mari17]

Yes!,Though I am having intrusive thought that are doubting wether “I/you really choose God” I’m not listening to them,they are distressing and worrisome but I remind myself that no item,thing,person,animal,or object can make me eternally happy or hopeful other than Jesus and Jesus is my only hope for OCD counseling.He’s the only one who can help me,that’s why I choose him.

It's crazy how OCD makes us doubt just about everything, isn't it?!

 

[Blaise N]

It's crazy how OCD makes us doubt just about everything, isn't it?!

Yep,it’s a struggle

 

[Isa41:10]

Hi Blaise, I'm sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I too struggle with OCD (for most of my life, and lately it's been crazy difficult), so I know how intense the feelings of anxiety and fear can be. A while back I was hit hard with an intrusive thought first thing in the morning that sent me into such a spiral of anxiety that I felt like I was losing my grip on reality. However, in the thick of the attack I got out my phone and began writing a note to myself for encouragement. I don't normally do that and I haven't since, and I believe God was helping me write it, as if He was using it to provide the encouragement to me. Here's part of that note, I hope it encourages you as well:

“Stick to truth, even in the midst of this complete confusion. Keep pressing on. Don't listen to the lies. Hold on to Truth, to God's promises, no matter what. No matter how loud the lies are, no matter how convincing they may seem, no matter how anxious and scared I get - hold on to Christ. Remember that Christ is deeper than anything, He's the Alpha and the Omega, He's at the core of who I am, He made me into a new creation. I am in Him and He is in me. If the devil wants to get to me he has to go through Jesus. Remember that. I'm secure in Jesus. God Himself is protecting me. Don't be surprised by this trial, it's nothing new, it's just another lie and scheme from the devil, it's all a part of the battle. Nothing can separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

So, be thankful for this trial because it is going to make me stronger. Keep praying, looking to Jesus for help. Trust God and believe in Him. Be patient and endure through this; don't panic, but keep your eyes on Christ and wait for Him to bring His peace. Be hopeful, trusting in God's faithfulness and steadfast love. Be strong and courageous, fight the good fight of the faith, always holding up the shield of faith; for God will fight for me, I only need to be silent. Stand firm in Truth, not allowing the devil to push me around with lies and deception. Fear not and don't be dismayed, for God is with me and He is my God; He will strengthen me, He will help me, and He will uphold me with His righteous right hand. Keep walking by faith, not by emotions. Be joyful, because Jesus, who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world. Rejoice, because Jesus is Lord and is coming back one day!”

Also, here are some verses that have helped me in general but also with combating OCD:

1 John 5:18, Romans 8:38-39, Isaiah 41:10, 1 John 4:4, Proverbs 3:5-6, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 4:12-13, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Psalm 56:3, Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Exodus 14:13-14, 1 Timothy 6:12, Philippians 4:6-7, Isaiah 26:3, Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Chronicles 20:17, Galatians 5:1, 1 Peter 5:8-10, Lamentations 3:26, Psalm 27:14, Psalm 91:9-16, John 14:1, Mark 5:36, Psalm 46:10