I need help

[Kostilaks]

I was praying to God for forgiveness and to free from all these ocd promises that may have be made. I asked Him for wisdom and guidance. I told Him something like that if a sound coincidence happen during prayer it will count as a coincidence. Anyway, I kept saying stuff about my problem and I said something like "I dont not want to believe lies ( that He did NOT made what ocd may have requested) and a car alarm started ringing. I freaked a bit. Was that a sign? A sign that I am believing lies? Does this mean my fear came true and I just choose NOT to believe it? So by not believe my fear came true, I believe lies? But then again, I told God that any sound coincidence will be a coincidence. If He wanted to tell me something He could find other better ways? Or He just ignores my requests and keeps sending sound signs? I dont know. Please pray. Yesterday coincidences happened that troubled me. 1) I made a specific gesture thinking my problem and a dog started barking because it probably heard a man talking loud outside in "machine that makes voice louder". I freaked a bit. And feared I may hear a door after barking. I did not hear a door but a click noise. I do not know where it came from. Could it be a key my problem and made the same gesture and I heard a door opening 3) I went to a drinking and eating place. We owed the owner 9 euros. He said something like he does not want them. Ocd kicked in. What if I made a promise to pay him back? I tried to calm myself and looked left. I saw a poster ad with the title "The Ugly". I freaked cause that reminded me my fear. I kept thinking about it deep down for some time while talking about different stuff with my friends. Then, I thought about it more and looked the picture again wondering why I saw it. I dont remember if it happened at that moment but I heard a friend of mine saying using the word "signs" in a conversation he had with another friend. I freaked. So my mind thinks like this: I see a poster that reminds me my fear and then after some time a friend uses the word "signs" so does this mean this poster is a sign that my fear may have came or may come true?

 

[Tolworth John]

does this mean this poster is a sign that my fear may have came or may come true?

Yes you need help, but you will not get or accept help.

Do you have a therapist?
Do you see a doctor regularly about your OCD?

You know that your obcession with signs is all todo with your OCD.

You need to talk to your therapist and doctor about your obcession and to follow there advice.

 

[Kostilaks]

My fear is not if I need help or if I have ocd. My fear is if God made my fear (something I dont want to talk about) come true.

 

[Rescued One]

Matthew 12
38 Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”

39 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40 For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.41 The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now something greater than Jonah is here. 42 The Queen of the South will rise at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for she came from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, and now something greater than Solomon is here.

We don't need a sign. We need to read the Bible every day.

 

[Mari17]

My fear is not if I need help or if I have ocd. My fear is if God made my fear (something I dont want to talk about) come true.

I think Tolworth John is saying that you should try to get professional help for your OCD, and I agree that it might be worth considering. You seem to have a pretty bad case of it right now. In any case, I read your above post, and I think you are on the right track! Trust that God is powerful enough to show you something if He wants to, WITHOUT using coincidences which make you feel fearful and confused. Take that risk (at least to those of us with OCD, it feels like a risk) of choosing not to believe your OCD. We all have to do it, whatever our obsession is. The person with a germ obsession has to believe that their hands are OK, even though they feel like they're horribly contaminated. The person with an obsession about losing their salvation has to move forward and live for God even while they are terribly afraid that they're not saved. The person who has a lying obsession has to force themselves to talk naturally even though they're terrified that they're telling a lie, and even though they feel like they have to couch everything in "I think" and "maybe." And so on. Overcoming OCD basically involves a lot of grit and perseverance, and a tremendous amount of courage. It means looking our OCD in the face and saying, "Not today, OCD. I'm not going to listen to you; I'm not going to do what you want." It's incredibly hard to do this, as you know. BUT as you practice it, you will become more and more free - and that's totally worth it.

If you haven't already, you should consider joining the Facebook group "Christianity and Anxiety Disorders." It's really helpful (lots of people with OCD, who can offer good advice), and you might benefit from having the extra support.

 

[paul1149]

God is not the author of confusion, or of fear or anxiety. When the rhema - the living voice - of God gets messed up in us, it is a sign - yes, this is one sign you should heed - that you need to get back to the logos, the written word of God, which does not change. Your receptors are wacked at this point. There's no shame in that, you just need to accept it and begin to feed yourself the pure doctrine of God. It will heal you. If God is not love then everything falls apart quickly. Do what the Gospels and epistles say - keep yourself in the love of God. Do what Philippians says, rejoice always. It will be a protection for you.

You keep posting here and on other forums, but are you doing any listening to what people say to you?

 

[Rescued One]

But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. — Psalm 3:3 (KJV)

 

[MrHopeful]

I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder 3 years ago. I still struggle with it, but not nearly as much, and I believe that it is getting progressively better. Stay strong and stay proactive. Stop seeking the external and like Paul1149 said, focus on the written word of God, it is stable. It is important to stay rooted in it.

I don't pretend to have all the answers. I know it sounds cliche but I probably have more questions than answers, but I am very experienced in dealing with this condition. I've been through exactly what you are going through. I'm willing to discuss further if you need - just send me a private message. I know what this feels like.

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." - Romans 5:3-4

 

[Nassua]

I suffered with Christian OCD and am here for you. The most important thing that I can tell you is that OCD tries to split you up from God and the reality is that God is on your side. He always will be. Try to think, “If my friend said the same thing to me how would I respond?” Also if you read the book of John it will explain God’s love.