I need advice

[Drought]

My ex-girlfriend, who has been a struggling Christian since her husband divorced her, has suddenly started dating a non-believer. Not just a non-believer, but an actual pagan. I think he professes to follow Wicca or something like that.

Anyway, they're pretty serious, and she tells me they've even discussed marriage. I also get the distinct feeling he's convinced her to sleep with him already; just a hunch based on the way they act around each other now. She's even started dabbling in magic!!

I'm completely at a loss. I don't have a clue what I should be doing for her. I pray every night, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I don't know whether or not it's possible for her to lose her salvation, but I'd rather not watch her test it, you know?

And it's not like it could just be some rebellion phase... she's 30, for crying out loud.

Does anyone have any advice? She seems to ignore me completely now whenever I try to talk about God the Bible... she's got a few pat answers and otherwise avoids the topic entirely. It really hurts because she was a very good Christian before meeting this man, even though she was struggling with her husband's abandonment. I really need to know how I can help, some days I just want to cry over it.

 

[Nathan Poe]

It may seem painful, but you need to let her go. It sounds like she's old enough to make her own decisions, mature enough to weigh all the options, and responsible enough to accept the possible consequences. At 30, she'd better be.

You might want to consider your own motives here. What bothers you more: that he's a pagan or that they might be sleeping together? I noticed the way you worded that part: What makes you so sure that he "convinced" her to do anything?

These are sensitive questions, I understand, but you need to take a good long look at your own feelings before you try to rush to your ex-'s "rescue."

 Matters with ex-es are always delicate. She might see your pressing of God and the Bible as part of some plan to get her back. That's why she's distancing herself from you. This is not the same woman you once dated. Don't treat her like she is.

If you still have any feelings for her, back off now. You'll only make things worse by getting involved. Christian or not, it sounds like she's happy. If you care, you'll let her be.

 

[Blessed-one]

moving this to a more appropriate forum.
----

pray for her and keep observing. Paul says we're to help each other and advice when one falls into traps, i think reasoning with her would have fulfilled your duty as a Christian brother. Point her back to the true path, but don't get into her relationship with her b/f. People tend to be a bit touchy about those kind of things, the best thing is to have her realise what she's doing exactly. If she's come to her senes, she'll do something about it.

*praying for her*

 

[ChristDied4U!]

I would just keep praying for her man...that is about all you can do. You can't really force her to do what you want her to. Just back-off her a bit. Women seem to like attention for some reason...and it seems that may be what's happening here. She may just be rebelling from her Christian ways to get some attention from you. And from the way it seems you care about this girl a lot...and she knows this! I would just chill and back-off for a bit...and not play her attention games any longer. Just pray for her!

 

[fieldmouse3]

I would definitely pray for and about her....if you feel like taking any action, pray about it A LOT beforehand and be honest with yourself about the answers God is giving you. I'll pray, too!

 

[Havoc]

Hmmm sorry mods, this is still showing up in an open forum. I've removed the body of my post.

 

[GraftMeIn]

I would spend some serious time in prayer seeking answers from the Lord.
If he leads me to say or do something, only then would I act, and only with what the words he has given me to act with. Never try and go it alone, but always seek your answers from the Lord himself, let him guide your every move.

I will say a prayer for you, and all those concerned in this situation

 

[forjesus]

keep praying, God Bless

 

[Drought]

I've stayed away from her for a couple days to think about it, and pray. I think my motives weren't entirely pure. God has shown me that I was more interested in breaking them up than getting her back to Christ. Since I'm not thinking clearly or objectively about the situation, I'm going to keep praying and leave it in God's hands. Thank you all for your advice.

 

[sklippstein]

She's probably ignoring u because she knows she is in the wrong. I agree with the others, there is nothing more we can do for others than to pray for them. It is extremely painful to watch someone fall and go down the wrong path, knowing what awaits on the other side. God bless u and I'm lifting up ur friend in prayer.

 

[forjesus]

praying

 

[ZiSunka]

Originally posted by Drought
My ex-girlfriend, who has been a struggling Christian since her husband divorced her, has suddenly started dating a non-believer. Not just a non-believer, but an actual pagan. I think he professes to follow Wicca or something like that.

Anyway, they're pretty serious, and she tells me they've even discussed marriage. I also get the distinct feeling he's convinced her to sleep with him already; just a hunch based on the way they act around each other now. She's even started dabbling in magic!!

I'm completely at a loss. I don't have a clue what I should be doing for her. I pray every night, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I don't know whether or not it's possible for her to lose her salvation, but I'd rather not watch her test it, you know?

And it's not like it could just be some rebellion phase... she's 30, for crying out loud.

Does anyone have any advice? She seems to ignore me completely now whenever I try to talk about God the Bible... she's got a few pat answers and otherwise avoids the topic entirely. It really hurts because she was a very good Christian before meeting this man, even though she was struggling with her husband's abandonment. I really need to know how I can help, some days I just want to cry over it.

I thank God that you care so much about her spiritual welfare! But I'm afraid that you got the best advice when someone told you to let her go. You can't change her, you have to accept that this is where she is at right now. But if you keep praying for her, she can be released from this darkness she has consigned herself to.

There are a lot of Christian girls your age, and I will pray that you will meet the one that is God's best will for you.

 

[Drought]

Thank you again, everyone. I feel so much more at peace now with the entire situation. Thanks for your help and support, I really appreciate it.