I need a wife, but I am stuck...

[the particular baptist]

Face, finances have little to do with "affording" a wife. If you've cultivated a good work ethic how little or how much means nothing. I was lost at the time, but i married my wife exactly 1 year from the day i met her. Saw each other for 6 months, engaged for 6 months. We were both 20. We've been married 18 years. I made $180 a week. Something about the responsibility of being head of household adds additional motivation to provide. I've changed careers twice, both times in the union trades, both times started from scratch as an apprentice. Went from $180 a week 18 years ago to providing for a family of six, mortgage, bills, etc., today.

The Lord knows our needs before we ask Him. Keep your eyes and ears open for a Proverbs 12:4a young lady. Visit with other like-minded congregations and she will be yours in God's time.

 

[faceofbear]

I assure you it was not criticism. I was simply trying at answer you based on what you asked and from what you wrote. I went back and read again what you wrote and my response to see if I had miss-understood you and if I answered incorrectly. I found neither. I hope you find the answer you are looking for. God bless.

Oh, no, I think I just created the thread on a whim and didn't think much of what I was saying, rather just speaking my mind. However, I don't think I spoke my mind very clearly. It's a very cluttered place right now.

As for "needing" a wife, it is not that I feel the urge, or NEED like a necessity to have a wife, but I believe biblically, I am someone who "needs" a wife. Not that I will die without one, but that it is beneficial spiritually, though in God's time.

I tend to randomly stress out over details I haven't been thinking about for a time, and this was one of them. I was content, and am content single, but I really believe that God is calling me out of that contentment and realizes that me "feeling" of contentment isn't genuine contentment, but a feeling.

I know it makes no sense, but I believe it's just one of those paradoxes of life. I feel content, but I'm not content. It's similar to saying, "I'm not hungry," but knowing you're actually hungry, you just don't feel it at the time. I don't know that that even makes sense. Yet in all of this I don't feel prepared for a wife, so it's provided my confusion in creating this thread.

I think it's simply God's grace showing that my feeling of content is actually just that, a feeling, and showing that I'm truly poor in this area, and not content as I am in Him. For what purpose? I don't know.

 

[bliz5]

I see I'm unfit, but my unfitness makes me need to become fit, but I can't become fit with the current state of things

First, your further ahead than guys think they are already fit.

How will you become fit?

Why is God unable bring these necessary changes in you now?

 

[faceofbear]

First, your further ahead than guys think they are already fit.

How will you become fit?

Why is God unable bring these necessary changes in you now?

The changes are things that NEED to take time. I mean, of course God can operate outside of that time-frame, but it'd be similar to asking a pregnant woman why she can't have a healthy baby birthed 1 week into her pregnancy.

And how will I become fit? Well, that's the question of the moment and the purpose of this thread. It helps me get ideas, and it helps me keep motivated, and it keeps my mind thinking about it rather than just forgetting about it and shoving it back into the cellar.

 

[savedfromdistruction]

The changes are things that NEED to take time. I mean, of course God can operate outside of that time-frame, but it'd be similar to asking a pregnant woman why she can't have a healthy baby birthed 1 week into her pregnancy.

And how will I become fit? Well, that's the question of the moment and the purpose of this thread. It helps me get ideas, and it helps me keep motivated, and it keeps my mind thinking about it rather than just forgetting about it and shoving it back into the cellar.

If that is what you are after then seek to learn what it means to be the head of the wife and family. Learn the meaning of the scripture;
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

By the way this means that if you take a wife you never again do anything for yourself. Your life is given up for her. This is why according to scripture that the married cannot serve the Lord like the single can. The married have divided minds. So that is how Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it and that is what the husband must do towards his wife. You become her sacrifice in this life living and leading her into all righteousness caring for her as she is the weaker vessel. As Christ is responsible for all the church does so the husband is responsible for what the wife does. This is why you must pick a godly submissive woman. Otherwise you will not be able to do your calling and the marriage will not be as the Lord intended.

 

[CoconutPrincess]

I know some replies have been you don't need a wife and you shouldn't get married because of lust, but we can't go on opinions, we have to go on what God says.

God does not think a man should be alone.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18

God hasn't changes his mind, He is the same God today as He was at creation. Men need wives, unless God has given the gift of celebacy, which I'd say you don't have since you are longing for a wife.

Paul said that if you burn with lust, get married! Of course it is a reason to get married. It's not the only reason (and I know that you are not wanting marriage only for sexual reasons) but it's definately a reason!
But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. 1 Corinthians 7:9

Your need for a wife is totally Biblical, its just figuring out what to do in the mean time, right? I say pray and ask the Lord. Talk to a pastor or another mature man in the faith.

 

[desmalia]

God may answer your prayer for someone however it is not guaranteed that it will be butterflies and sunshine. Sometimes God brings a person to bring you into conformity with Christ, and the person may be a big strain on you. You may have to learn how to love unconditionally. I'm not trying to discourage you but I am saying it may not be all you think it will be.

Actually that's pretty much a guarantee in marriage. It's hard and even painful at times, no matter how "good" it is.

Bear, as some others here have said, I think it's important for you to begin preparing yourself for whatever woman God may have planned to give you. It's such a huge responsibility. Finding a good church and developing a relationship with some godly men who can mentor you is a huge start. You may want to check out books like "The Exemplary Husband", etc. to start preparing your mind for what is in store. Consider it a path. Pray that God will sanctify you and grow you into the man that will be a good husband, glorifying Him in your marriage. And pray for her too.

 

[JSGuitarist]

I think doing a study on 1 Corinthians 7 would be a good idea. What was most interesting to me is what men such as Matthew Henry, Gill, Calvin, Wesley, Barnes and Clarke had to say on the matter. I did a little study on verses 1-10 using them and it was interesting what I found. Give them a lookup.

 

[ashout]

bear, what you need to beware of is loving your wife more then you love God. always make sure that Jesus is most important to you of all, and if you had to choose between your wife or him? you'd choose Jesus. and find a Girl that is the same way. trust me, your marrige will be much healthier and last longer if your girl isn't your God, becuase she WILL disapoint you!

aside from that, don't worry about not making enough money, she can work too! and those other things you got to work on? work on them! put them behind you and satisfy your mind as to your being able to wed, then do what has been suggested and find a nice church girl to marry! If God has it in his plan for you to marry, then you eventually will. I know a lot of young people tend to freak out "I'm not married yet and all my friends already have children!" but you got time. some people don't get married until their 40.

 

[faceofbear]

Hahaha, woooow. I thought I was far from ready before, but now the gap seems so much more intense from now to being ready. Thanks all.

 

[desmalia]

Hahaha, woooow. I thought I was far from ready before, but now the gap seems so much more intense from now to being ready. Thanks all.

That's a good start!

 

[JCFantasy23]

Well, I am obviously only 22, but I keep realizing that I need a wife. At least, according to Paul's standard, and I've realized my struggle with lust and the like is all related to wanting a relationship, a REAL relationship.

However, I'm going back to school full time, and will be working full time, and I won't really have time outside of that. But on top of all that, I don't make enough money, and the career path I am choosing, I don't know that I ever will, to "support" a family (but I guess who does in todays economy?).

I feel somewhat stuck because I don't know what to do. I obviously need to progress from where I currently am, and education will not be guarantee, but it will help. But I also believe spiritually, I need a wife. It's just paradoxically, I'm also not "prepared" for a wife -- or at least that's how I feel.

Again, I'm just speaking out my mind. Does anyone have suggestions? Oh, and thanks for everyones help on the church thread. I'm going to be attending that Immanuel Grace Reformed Baptist Church this Sunday. Pretty excited about that.

Well, lust at 22 is VERY normal.

And yep, you cannot always wait until you are financially stable, it's something couples go through together throughout their whole lives.

On the other hand 22 is still very young and you sound like you are being responsible - school and work and etc. I would just take it slowly - while spiritually you may need a wife, there is no rush for it to be immediate.

 

[King Herod]

Getting married is a lot more then what PAUL says.

you got to think PAUl said this over 2,000 years ago man.. Times have changed...

aside from your faith,. your gonna need, MONEY, EDUCATION, TIME, STABILITY, and LOVE.

dont find a wife because you think your disappointing PAUL!
find a wife because you fell in love with her.

 

[tworle00]

Voddie Baucham has some good stuff on this. Check out his teachings on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. It may help you out some.

Just search "Voddie Baucham Biblical Manhood, Part 1" in You Tube. I think it is divided into 8 parts b/c of You Tube's time limits.

 

[FreeinChrist]

Well, I am obviously only 22, but I keep realizing that I need a wife. At least, according to Paul's standard, and I've realized my struggle with lust and the like is all related to wanting a relationship, a REAL relationship.

However, I'm going back to school full time, and will be working full time, and I won't really have time outside of that. But on top of all that, I don't make enough money, and the career path I am choosing, I don't know that I ever will, to "support" a family (but I guess who does in todays economy?).

I feel somewhat stuck because I don't know what to do. I obviously need to progress from where I currently am, and education will not be guarantee, but it will help. But I also believe spiritually, I need a wife. It's just paradoxically, I'm also not "prepared" for a wife -- or at least that's how I feel.

Again, I'm just speaking out my mind. Does anyone have suggestions? Oh, and thanks for everyones help on the church thread. I'm going to be attending that Immanuel Grace Reformed Baptist Church this Sunday. Pretty excited about that.

I underand that fedling as I wanted a spouse badly about that age. But it is worth remembering that God answers prayers - and 22 is young. The right spuise is worth waiting for.