I misunderstood the Word and committed blasphemy

[Geronimoch]

To sketch my situation. I'm a Belgian tetraplegic palsy who drives around in an electric wheelchair. I can only do a couple of things, namely: feed myself, drink, use my touch screen tablet and phone and smoke cigarettes with a special tool. I need to be catheterised and they take me out of and put me in bed with a special lifting system.
I live with my mom so there is no privacy for me. I used to smoke tons of weed so my short term memory was/is ruined.

I was an atheist for 29 years and found my faith just by the overwhelming proof the Lord left here on His beautiful earth for us (the ark, Egyptian chariots,..).

At first I was extremely happy that the Lord and Jesus were real and of course I went to spread this joyful news to everyone in the rehabilitation centre were I was staying. Not to mention that a lot of people looked at me funny. But I didn't care, I was over the moon. My behaviour wasn't in anyway Christian. I was trying to convince people, didn't read the Word, not keeping the sabbath and my word,..

When I got home in January joy quickly turned in to fear because I realised I was going to hell. But I could be saved, couldn't I? I bought a KJV bible since a lot of bibles are forgery. I started reading the gospel and doing my best to uphold the commandments. But when I got to the part where John said: Repent, for the kingdom is at hand I blurted out (in insincere guilt) I repent, I repent (not knowing what it meant). A couple of days later somewhere in the Bible that if you lie about repenting you will suffer the same faith as the people that crucified Christ. So I went insane thinking that I crucified Christ. The next 2-3 weeks I was in constant fear, counting the hours in the day, watching as the USA wall was getting built, smoking a ton of cigarettes in the closed of porch at our house.

I tried convincing my friends and family not wanting them to go to hell. But in the end my friends and family thought that I was losing it.

After that I got in touch with a true Christian and he told me that it all didn't matter as long as I accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour and that all sins could be forgiven. I just said out loud: I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I started keeping the sabbath, but nothing felt different, because I didn't do it in prayer.

After a while I was browsing the web on how to praise our Father even more. In the end I got to a prayer of salvation. I prayed it and when I said amen I could feel it. The most honest, sincere and purest Love I have ever felt. I immediately started singing worship songs. The evening fell and I drove towards my bedroom and passed the porch were my mom was smoking. And because it was such a habbit I lit one up, not thinking about it. The next day was like any other. I played games on the tablet and smoking as I normally do. Already forgetting that I was saved. Then on the sabbath the next day it hit me (thank you short term memory). I was sinning after salvation. Being sure of my case I thought I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I didn't know then I could repent and quit. I got so anxious and frightened that I was having loads of stress, going back to my addiction and committed blasphemy...

In the end my soul hardened. I traded an eternity of peace, joy and happiness in for an eternity lost. I take joy out of nothing anymore. My girlfriend broke up with me, my friends avoid me and my mom got me Phsychic help.

No one understands my situation except for you guys whom I never even met.
I completely misinterpreted the Word.
Up to this day I still keep the sabbath and try to achieve perfection, just like our father is. And I'm still heavily addicted to cigarettes. I talk to God every night ( although he probably doesn't want to hear me) but that's okay. And I keep talking until my pillow is soaking wet from tears. I love Him with all my heart and I imagine Him sitting next to me and me saying: I love You for making the dogs tail wiggle, I love the way how cute bunnies are,... I love you My Lord.

I should've come to this forum sooner...


Can I still be saved?

 

[Reformed2]

Of course you can be saved, in fact you already are according to what you said. Blaspheming against the Holy Spirit is accusing Jesus of working miracles through demonic power, nothing else.

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Ezekiel 33:11
As I live,’ says the Lord God, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?”

1 Timothy 1:13-15

“Although I [Paul] was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief."

 

[A_Thinker]

A couple of days later somewhere in the Bible that if you lie about repenting you will suffer the same faith as the people that crucified Christ.,

You've misunderstood the text.

God saved you because He loves you. He will never abandon you. He stands ready to forgive any imperfection you manifest.

 

[Winken]

Romans 10:8-13 doesn't have rules and regulations attached. It is what it is. Read Romans 8:1, John 5:24, Ephesians 2:8-9 for confirmation. HE has not left you and never will.

 

[PKFox]

Welcome! It's nice to meet you.

Don't think that God doesn't want to hear from you. He does. He loves it when we talk to Him about our problems, blessings, or pretty much anything. Plus, prayer is good for ourselves also, as it allows us to build that relationship with the Lord.

God bless.

 

[Truthfrees]

To sketch my situation. I'm a Belgian tetraplegic palsy who drives around in an electric wheelchair. I can only do a couple of things, namely: feed myself, drink, use my touch screen tablet and phone and smoke cigarettes with a special tool. I need to be catheterised and they take me out of and put me in bed with a special lifting system.
I live with my mom so there is no privacy for me. I used to smoke tons of weed so my short term memory was/is ruined.

I was an atheist for 29 years and found my faith just by the overwhelming proof the Lord left here on His beautiful earth for us (the ark, Egyptian chariots,..).

At first I was extremely happy that the Lord and Jesus were real and of course I went to spread this joyful news to everyone in the rehabilitation centre were I was staying. Not to mention that a lot of people looked at me funny. But I didn't care, I was over the moon. My behaviour wasn't in anyway Christian. I was trying to convince people, didn't read the Word, not keeping the sabbath and my word,..

When I got home in January joy quickly turned in to fear because I realised I was going to hell. But I could be saved, couldn't I? I bought a KJV bible since a lot of bibles are forgery. I started reading the gospel and doing my best to uphold the commandments. But when I got to the part where John said: Repent, for the kingdom is at hand I blurted out (in insincere guilt) I repent, I repent (not knowing what it meant). A couple of days later somewhere in the Bible that if you lie about repenting you will suffer the same faith as the people that crucified Christ. So I went insane thinking that I crucified Christ. The next 2-3 weeks I was in constant fear, counting the hours in the day, watching as the USA wall was getting built, smoking a ton of cigarettes in the closed of porch at our house.

I tried convincing my friends and family not wanting them to go to hell. But in the end my friends and family thought that I was losing it.

After that I got in touch with a true Christian and he told me that it all didn't matter as long as I accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour and that all sins could be forgiven. I just said out loud: I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I started keeping the sabbath, but nothing felt different, because I didn't do it in prayer.

After a while I was browsing the web on how to praise our Father even more. In the end I got to a prayer of salvation. I prayed it and when I said amen I could feel it. The most honest, sincere and purest Love I have ever felt. I immediately started singing worship songs. The evening fell and I drove towards my bedroom and passed the porch were my mom was smoking. And because it was such a habbit I lit one up, not thinking about it. The next day was like any other. I played games on the tablet and smoking as I normally do. Already forgetting that I was saved. Then on the sabbath the next day it hit me (thank you short term memory). I was sinning after salvation. Being sure of my case I thought I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I didn't know then I could repent and quit. I got so anxious and frightened that I was having loads of stress, going back to my addiction and committed blasphemy...

In the end my soul hardened. I traded an eternity of peace, joy and happiness in for an eternity lost. I take joy out of nothing anymore. My girlfriend broke up with me, my friends avoid me and my mom got me Phsychic help.

No one understands my situation except for you guys whom I never even met.
I completely misinterpreted the Word.
Up to this day I still keep the sabbath and try to achieve perfection, just like our father is. And I'm still heavily addicted to cigarettes. I talk to God every night ( although he probably doesn't want to hear me) but that's okay. And I keep talking until my pillow is soaking wet from tears. I love Him with all my heart and I imagine Him sitting next to me and me saying: I love You for making the dogs tail wiggle, I love the way how cute bunnies are,... I love you My Lord.

I should've come to this forum sooner...


Can I still be saved?

Absolutely.

don't lean on your own ability.

Jesus said:
1. our spirit is willing but our flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41
2. apart from Him we can do nothing. John 15:5

Paul said:
3. Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. Hebrews 12:2
4. the work God started HE will finish, so that you can make it to heaven. Philippians 1:6

Partner WITH God so that HE can do a good/steady/lasting work in your life. When you sin/fail/fall, confess it to God, and get His help to learn how to not sin/fail/fall again. Hebrews 4:16

Praying for you my dear friend.

Welcome to CF!

 

[Divide]

To sketch my situation. I'm a Belgian tetraplegic palsy who drives around in an electric wheelchair. I can only do a couple of things, namely: feed myself, drink, use my touch screen tablet and phone and smoke cigarettes with a special tool. I need to be catheterised and they take me out of and put me in bed with a special lifting system.
I live with my mom so there is no privacy for me. I used to smoke tons of weed so my short term memory was/is ruined.

I was an atheist for 29 years and found my faith just by the overwhelming proof the Lord left here on His beautiful earth for us (the ark, Egyptian chariots,..).

At first I was extremely happy that the Lord and Jesus were real and of course I went to spread this joyful news to everyone in the rehabilitation centre were I was staying. Not to mention that a lot of people looked at me funny. But I didn't care, I was over the moon. My behaviour wasn't in anyway Christian. I was trying to convince people, didn't read the Word, not keeping the sabbath and my word,..

When I got home in January joy quickly turned in to fear because I realised I was going to hell. But I could be saved, couldn't I? I bought a KJV bible since a lot of bibles are forgery. I started reading the gospel and doing my best to uphold the commandments. But when I got to the part where John said: Repent, for the kingdom is at hand I blurted out (in insincere guilt) I repent, I repent (not knowing what it meant). A couple of days later somewhere in the Bible that if you lie about repenting you will suffer the same faith as the people that crucified Christ. So I went insane thinking that I crucified Christ. The next 2-3 weeks I was in constant fear, counting the hours in the day, watching as the USA wall was getting built, smoking a ton of cigarettes in the closed of porch at our house.

I tried convincing my friends and family not wanting them to go to hell. But in the end my friends and family thought that I was losing it.

After that I got in touch with a true Christian and he told me that it all didn't matter as long as I accepted Christ as Lord and Saviour and that all sins could be forgiven. I just said out loud: I accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. I started keeping the sabbath, but nothing felt different, because I didn't do it in prayer.

After a while I was browsing the web on how to praise our Father even more. In the end I got to a prayer of salvation. I prayed it and when I said amen I could feel it. The most honest, sincere and purest Love I have ever felt. I immediately started singing worship songs. The evening fell and I drove towards my bedroom and passed the porch were my mom was smoking. And because it was such a habbit I lit one up, not thinking about it. The next day was like any other. I played games on the tablet and smoking as I normally do. Already forgetting that I was saved. Then on the sabbath the next day it hit me (thank you short term memory). I was sinning after salvation. Being sure of my case I thought I committed blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. I didn't know then I could repent and quit. I got so anxious and frightened that I was having loads of stress, going back to my addiction and committed blasphemy...

In the end my soul hardened. I traded an eternity of peace, joy and happiness in for an eternity lost. I take joy out of nothing anymore. My girlfriend broke up with me, my friends avoid me and my mom got me Phsychic help.

No one understands my situation except for you guys whom I never even met.
I completely misinterpreted the Word.
Up to this day I still keep the sabbath and try to achieve perfection, just like our father is. And I'm still heavily addicted to cigarettes. I talk to God every night ( although he probably doesn't want to hear me) but that's okay. And I keep talking until my pillow is soaking wet from tears. I love Him with all my heart and I imagine Him sitting next to me and me saying: I love You for making the dogs tail wiggle, I love the way how cute bunnies are,... I love you My Lord.

I should've come to this forum sooner...


Can I still be saved?

Of course you can still be saved, Brother. I believe that the proof is in your conscience which you've expressed. That's that Holy Spirit working within you. Now that you've been born again, you begin the sanctification process. This doesn't happen overnight, nor does it happen with any hoo-haw supernatural experience of feelings of overwhelming joy either. A good way to judge the condition of your heart, is by the words that come out of it. Especially the absent minded ones. Because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Luke 6:45)

You need to immerse yourself in the Word. Read it, meditate on it, repeat it, dwell on it...In this way, the iniquity in your heart is replaced by His Word. Start with the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and pay particular attention to the words and teachings of Jesus.

Bless you Brother, I'll pray for you.

 

[Geronimoch]

I have read the gospel and more, watched BibleFlockBox's and other people's videos on YouTube. So I know a bit. And try to live a so sinless life as possible, but the problem is I smoke way too many cigarettes after I was born again (this without repenting and quitting). And if you keep living in wilful sin then you reject Jesus Christ and commit blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

Because if you reject Jesus there is no more sacrifice.

 

[A_Thinker]

I have read the gospel and more, watched BibleFlockBox's and other people's videos on YouTube. So I know a bit. And try to live a so sinless life as possible, but the problem is I smoke way too many cigarettes after I was born again (this without repenting and quitting). And if you keep living in wilful sin then you reject Jesus Christ and commit blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

Because if you reject Jesus there is no more sacrifice.

ALL CHRISTIANS strive to live a life as free of sin as possible. BUT NONE of then live SINLESS lives.

Paul (the Apostle) spoke of the struggle you're facing in Romans 7 (a letter to the new church in Rome at the time). He says that too often, what he truly desires to do (i.e. the will of God) ... is not what he does. He attributes this to the power of the FLESH, which all living christians still inhabit. Your testimony of your smoking is a perfect example of this ... it is the FLESHLY addiction to cigarettes that you are struggling with. And, though it is not God's will that you continue to injure your body with the smoking habit, ... neither does He CONDEMN you for it. He recognizes that we, as humans, are fallible. He knows that we will fail to live up to His expectations, at times. What matters is that we confess our fallibility and failures and renew our commitment to becoming BETTER christians. In other words, ... as my minister preached this morning ... "that we not DROP OUT of the race ... ".

"9 Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Also check out Romans 7 ...

As for God, ... He is well aware of our capability ... or lack thereof ...

"For He knows our frame ... He remembers that we are dust." Psalms 103:14