I messed up big time and now I'm dealing with so much guilt and anxiety

[Allison1157]

I'm a sixteen year old (soon to be 17) high school girl. Some months back, shortly after I got my license, I was responsible for a car accident that severely injured the driver of the car that I struck. The accident was a result of me texting while driving. I was fortunate enough to walk away with a few bruises. He had to be taken away in an ambulance. After the police completed their investigation, I was charged with criminal recklessness.

Next week, I'll be in court to accept a plea deal that's been worked out. The upside is it'll allow me to be convicted as a juvenile, but I'll also have to serve 90 days locked up in the county juvenile detention center.

I own the fact that what I did was wrong and stupid. I know I'm lucky that it didn't end any worse than it did. I also know that I totally deserve my punishment.

I've been thinking about next week a lot. Every time I do, I get really nervous because I've never been in trouble with the law before and have no idea what juvie is going to be like or if I'll be able to handle it. Then I feel really guilty for worrying. I mean, how can I be thinking of myself after what my victim went through? It always leaves me feeling so selfish and wondering what this says about me as a person. Basically, right now I have all this anxiety and guilt ping-ponging around inside my head and I don't know what to do about it.

My parents are understandably disappointed and upset with me. We used to be so close, but this has totally messed things up. I guess there's not much I can do except try and show them that I've learned from this and that I'll be more responsible in the future and give them time. I just hope our relationship will heal eventually.

I don't know if my victim will be present for my sentencing. If he isn't, I'd like to write him a letter to apologize for everything. I'm worried that he might not want to hear from me though and I don't want to cause him any more pain. I wish I knew what to do.

I don't know if anyone will have any advice for me, but I know it felt good to put all this into words. Thank you all for listening.

 

[Southernscotty]

I want you to know there is forgiveness and if you ask, God is always just to forgive friend.
You own your mistake and I applaud you for that.
I pray God's hand of protection for you as you do your time in lockup.
Your parents are upset but they love you and will come around. They are probably just really confused right now, But the love of a parent goes very deep, So do not worry about that. Friend my advice is to take Jesus into that facility and let the light of the Holy Spirit shine through you to these other girls who have made mistakes as well.
You can make a huge difference here :]

 

[paul1149]

First of all, bless you for being sensitive to the situation and not running from it. It's not something easy to face, but you will be much better for doing so than running from it or making excuses.

I can't tell you how many times I've been spared consequences for my actions. It's simply the grace of God. Some things I have paid for though, even dearly, but only for a small percentage of the stupid things I've done.

Know this, as bad as it is, it could have been worse. So there is that to be thankful for.

Perhaps at sentencing you can express your remorse and ask the judge if there is any mechanism for writing an apology to the victim of the accident.

As for the guilt and fear, the best thing to do is take it to the Lord, the font of forgiveness, mercy, and grace. Let this draw you near to Him, rather than distance yourself from Him. He is our ever-present Help in time of need.

You can't control your parents or their reactions, but you can purpose yourself to approach your situation in the faith that God can work good out of it. This will help keep you positive, which will be a protection for your heart, and will keep you open to the opportunities for growth that will come as a result of this situation. In time hopefully the rift with your parents will heal, but either way, you should set yourself to moving forward with the Lord. Remember, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Rom 8.1).

See also James 1, which says God gives wisdom without reproaching; James 3 for the nature of wisdom; Philippians 4, which tells us to rejoice in the Lord always, as a protection for us; and Romans 8.28, which says that God is faithful to work all things for good for those who love Him.

May the Lord bless and comfort you and make a way forward for you.

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Your concern should be for your victim. You should get acquainted with him personally when the time is right. He needs to forgive you, and you need to forgive yourself. A letter is fine as an icebreaker but a visit is much better. You may want to approach a friend or relative of this fellow as a go-between if you find yourself hesitant to contact him directly.

Regarding your anxiety and your parent's disappointment, these will fade and pass away, so take heart. Of course the wild card in all this is the recovery of this fellow from his injuries, so be sure to continue to pray for his healing.

 

[zephcom]

I'm a sixteen year old (soon to be 17) high school girl. Some months back, shortly after I got my license, I was responsible for a car accident that severely injured the driver of the car that I struck. The accident was a result of me texting while driving. I was fortunate enough to walk away with a few bruises. He had to be taken away in an ambulance. After the police completed their investigation, I was charged with criminal recklessness.

Next week, I'll be in court to accept a plea deal that's been worked out. The upside is it'll allow me to be convicted as a juvenile, but I'll also have to serve 90 days locked up in the county juvenile detention center.

I own the fact that what I did was wrong and stupid. I know I'm lucky that it didn't end any worse than it did. I also know that I totally deserve my punishment.

I've been thinking about next week a lot. Every time I do, I get really nervous because I've never been in trouble with the law before and have no idea what juvie is going to be like or if I'll be able to handle it. Then I feel really guilty for worrying. I mean, how can I be thinking of myself after what my victim went through? It always leaves me feeling so selfish and wondering what this says about me as a person. Basically, right now I have all this anxiety and guilt ping-ponging around inside my head and I don't know what to do about it.

My parents are understandably disappointed and upset with me. We used to be so close, but this has totally messed things up. I guess there's not much I can do except try and show them that I've learned from this and that I'll be more responsible in the future and give them time. I just hope our relationship will heal eventually.

I don't know if my victim will be present for my sentencing. If he isn't, I'd like to write him a letter to apologize for everything. I'm worried that he might not want to hear from me though and I don't want to cause him any more pain. I wish I knew what to do.

I don't know if anyone will have any advice for me, but I know it felt good to put all this into words. Thank you all for listening.

First of all, rest assured that it is completely normal for someone to be apprehensive going into a situation in which one has no experience with. I went through the same thing before entering the military. There will be someone there to give you instructions about what is expected from you. Just pay attention to the instructions.

About apologizing to the victim. Follow the advice of your attorney. If making contact with the victim is appropriate, let your attorney make the arrangements.

IMMHO, the very best result of this incident in your life is learning how quickly things can get out of hand when one gets distracted. This applies to all aspects of one's life and not just behind the wheel of the car.

Your next step is to not lose focus on completing every aspect of your sentence. Don't miss meetings. Don't sass an officer. Don't do anything which draws official attention to you. The American justice system is designed to keep you mired in the system. I think it is viewed as job security for those working in the system.

These are all practical things. They need to be attended to. Attending to the emotional and spiritual things needs to be done also, but they take second place to making sure you only serve the penalty assigned you by the judge and not any additional penalty for misbehaving in custody.

That is not to say dealing with the emotional and spiritual issues are not important. They are. But the primary goal should be to serve your sentence and make a clean break from the justice system.

 

[Tolworth John]

Next week, I'll be in court

You will have a chance to speak in the hearing, so prepare, write out, a statement expressing your regret and read it out or say it. It will depend on how nervious/terrified you are and court is terrifing.

Learn from this, laws about drink, drugs, texting, useing mobiles while driving etc etc etc have been formulated because of very hard won experience.

Make it your aim not even to get a parking or littering ticket ever.
Yes you will be called names by 'friends' who don't care, be a Christian and live by Jesus rules, All of them and not societies.

 

[eleos1954]

I'm a sixteen year old (soon to be 17) high school girl. Some months back, shortly after I got my license, I was responsible for a car accident that severely injured the driver of the car that I struck. The accident was a result of me texting while driving. I was fortunate enough to walk away with a few bruises. He had to be taken away in an ambulance. After the police completed their investigation, I was charged with criminal recklessness.

Next week, I'll be in court to accept a plea deal that's been worked out. The upside is it'll allow me to be convicted as a juvenile, but I'll also have to serve 90 days locked up in the county juvenile detention center.

I own the fact that what I did was wrong and stupid. I know I'm lucky that it didn't end any worse than it did. I also know that I totally deserve my punishment.

I've been thinking about next week a lot. Every time I do, I get really nervous because I've never been in trouble with the law before and have no idea what juvie is going to be like or if I'll be able to handle it. Then I feel really guilty for worrying. I mean, how can I be thinking of myself after what my victim went through? It always leaves me feeling so selfish and wondering what this says about me as a person. Basically, right now I have all this anxiety and guilt ping-ponging around inside my head and I don't know what to do about it.

My parents are understandably disappointed and upset with me. We used to be so close, but this has totally messed things up. I guess there's not much I can do except try and show them that I've learned from this and that I'll be more responsible in the future and give them time. I just hope our relationship will heal eventually.

I don't know if my victim will be present for my sentencing. If he isn't, I'd like to write him a letter to apologize for everything. I'm worried that he might not want to hear from me though and I don't want to cause him any more pain. I wish I knew what to do.

I don't know if anyone will have any advice for me, but I know it felt good to put all this into words. Thank you all for listening.

The "school of hard knocks" is a difficult one to attend. Make your amends with the Lord, confess, repent and receive His forgiveness. Your parents ... in time ... will forgive you as well if they are christians. If not, they may or may not forgive you, or might take a while to do so.

While in the juvenile detention center, use this time wisely by studying Gods word, maybe even share the Lord with others.

Yes, writing a letter to the victim asking for forgiveness is important, how it will be received by him you don't know.

Never give up on the Lord ... He goes through our trials and tribulations with us.

May the Lord be with you.

God Bless

 

[Seadish]

I want you to know there is forgiveness and if you ask, God is always just to forgive friend.
You own your mistake and I applaud you for that.
I pray God's hand of protection for you as you do your time in lockup.
Your parents are upset but they love you and will come around. They are probably just really confused right now, But the love of a parent goes very deep, So do not worry about that. Friend my advice is to take Jesus into that facility and let the light of the Holy Spirit shine through you to these other girls who have made mistakes as well.
You can make a huge difference here :]

Agreed and adding, God forgives you, forgive yourself.

 

[Allison1157]

I just want to say thanks to everyone who's responded. I've read all your posts and I'm taking in what you've all said.

 

[Chris V++]

For what it's worth this could have happened to most any of us behind the wheel. I see people texting constantly, or doing other distracting things like eating cereal. I once saw a guy driving while reading the paper.
I'm so sorry you are having to face these consequences. I'm sure in JV most are afraid as you are and they must have to take precautions to ensure your safety. I like the idea of preparing a statement for sentencing. Is it possible the judge might reduce the sentence? Hopefully the victim will recover fully and receive a substantial settlement from the insurance companies. Possibly take in proof from your insurance company that he was indemnified as well, to show that you truly are repentant.

Praying for you!