I just cursed my dad out, will GOD forgive me?

[FightTheFlesh]

My dad is controlling and always has to be right on everything. He also has a hoarding problem. I've been cleaning the house and it's like all my efforts have been going down the drain. The other day i cleaned the hall closet out and the next day he had brought all of that junk right back into the closet and i had to clean it again. The next day after that i cleaned it back up and then he filled it back up with junk. And he does it on purpose to prove to me that it's his house and he's my dad so he doesn't have to do what I say. I just gave up on cleaning it even though i was mad. Lately I've been cleaning the upstairs room and he brings all of his junk back upstairs. I recleaned it and he goes to bringing all kinds of junk back up to the room im sleeping in. I couldn't take it anymore and i snapped on him. I started cursing and then he started bringing up GOD and at the moment i said "i don't wanna hear about GOD right now, because GOD would not be having us living in filth". I was cursing ahs then i thought about the scripture where whoever curses their parents their lamp will be put out. I feel bad about it now but my dad is very stubborn and feels since he's a man and my dad that he never has to listen to us. He's the head and it's his way all the time. I am ready to move out because i can't live here Am anymore. I don't bother to really clean up anymore because he doesn't care about my efforts and it means nothing to him. What should i do?

 

[RaymondG]

I don't bother to really clean up anymore because he doesn't care about my efforts and it means nothing to him. What should i do?

You should move out.

 

[FightTheFlesh]

You should move out.

I want to. They said I should move out too, but when they see I'm really leaving they try to convince me to stay.

 

[tturt]

Please dont make decisions while upset.

When David and his men returned to camp and found their dwellings burnt and their families gone, it states he and his men wept until they couldnt. His men talked about killing him. But David encouraged himself in The Lord then asks God for direction (I Sam 30). To me, it's amazing that David, a warrior, didn't assume Yahweh wanted him to get his wife and family. But David often asks God for instructions

But I wonder how much of a key is found in that David encouraged himself in the Lord FIRST then asks for God's directions.

Also, if you decide to move out, prepare to do so. Check out housing and living expenses, transportation costs, etc. If you decide to have roommates, you can run into the same difficulties as you having at home. Just saying...

 

[bèlla]

Apologize to your father. He needs professional help for his hoarding and the issues that brought it on. If your environment causes strife and disrespect it is better to move than dishonor him and God.

In the meantime, ask your church for resources for Christian counseling. Until he’s seeing a therapist and dealing with the bigger problems his hoarding will continue. Pray for him and yourself. Ask for peace and healing for you both.

 

[FightTheFlesh]

Please dont make decisions while upset.

When David and his men returned to camp and found their dwellings burnt and their families gone, it states he and his men wept until they couldnt. His men talked about killing him. But David encouraged himself in The Lord then asks God for direction (I Sam 30). To me, it's amazing that David, a warrior, didn't assume Yahweh wanted him to get his wife and family. But David often asks God for instructions

But I wonder how much of a key is found in that David encouraged himself in the Lord FIRST then asks for God's directions.

What decision? Moving? My dad is so difficult to live with that im starting to feel like i don't really feel that bad for what I said to him. I know it's wrong but I'm starting to think that feeling that way could be a possibility. I don't want to lose my remorse for talking to him that way cause i don't like speaking that way to my dad but i have a very dysfunctional family. None of my other family or friends have to deal with the things i deal with so it's easy for them to not talk to their parents that way (but then again how can i say?). Can you guys tell me what i should do? I haven't apologized to him yet because i really feel like he needed to hear what i said to him even though it was not right for me to speak to him that way.

 

[Greengardener]

Ouch, what a painful place, Friend. You remind me of my 15 year old self. I hated the dirty carpet on the steps and decided to take it out. Mum wasn't too excited about that. I also decided to start answering the phone with something particularly Christian like "Praise God! You've reached the Smiths," and her friends thought they'd reached a wrong number. She really got in my face about that one. I didn't realize at the time but I was wrong in both situations.

In your dad's home, you are the guest only, not the authority. And you are commanded to honor your dad, even if you disagree. Your dad has the right to put his stuff where he wants in his home and keep it for however long he cares as long as he is able to make those decisions.

Later I had a family member who did the same thing to me - threw out my stuff without asking. Wow, was that painful. I knew why I had kept the stuff but my reasons were disregarded. So from your dad's perspective, he might be feeling like I did then, angry and also hurt that it's his kid doing it to him.

My thoughts, since you asked - As to sinning, the life lesson is that when you sin, you need to repent from sinning - turn away from sin. In this case, my thought is that you need to turn away from stepping over your dad's boundaries (which you did when you messed with his stuff when he doesn't want you to). Take on humility. Apologize for stepping on his boundary. Let him know you won't mess with his stuff and will seek his permission for any improvements you want to offer in the future.

In general life works better when you have a collaborative approach in dealing with other people. It's also really hard to be an influence for good when there is adversity. Don't forget part of your purpose here is to influence the world for good and point people to the righteous life the LORD God wants for people by how you live your life. Agreed that it may not be like you want it in the home where you live (and I agree it's hard to live with messiness), but when you do move out to your own place, you can have order in the way that works for you and you'll have the benefit of having learned these lessons. In the meantime, your humility may win your dad's heart. (Most likely an adversarial position will not win his heart.)

Aggravating situation, but hopefully it will bring something good.

 

[grasping the after wind]

I want to. They said I should move out too, but when they see I'm really leaving they try to convince me to stay.

If it was me this is what I would do. You do not have to a take my advice if you find it inappropriate to either your situation or your personality. If you are past the age of consent, you should move out but do not do so with hard feelings but rather tell them( whoever they might be) that it is time you took your place in society and became the independent adult that they could be proud of. You should be reconciled with your father and apologize for using whatever hurtful , profane , indecent or blasphemous language you may have used , though not for your attitude toward hoarding. Tell them you are not leaving out of spite nor anger but simply because it is time to leave the nest and strike out on your own or words to that effect.

 

[tturt]

Its always good to apologize for how we say things. Sometimes the words we used.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Pro 15:1

 

[pdudgeon]

My dad is controlling and always has to be right on everything. He also has a hoarding problem. I've been cleaning the house and it's like all my efforts have been going down the drain. The other day i cleaned the hall closet out and the next day he had brought all of that junk right back into the closet and i had to clean it again. The next day after that i cleaned it back up and then he filled it back up with junk. And he does it on purpose to prove to me that it's his house and he's my dad so he doesn't have to do what I say. I just gave up on cleaning it even though i was mad. Lately I've been cleaning the upstairs room and he brings all of his junk back upstairs. I recleaned it and he goes to bringing all kinds of junk back up to the room im sleeping in. I couldn't take it anymore and i snapped on him. I started cursing and then he started bringing up GOD and at the moment i said "i don't wanna hear about GOD right now, because GOD would not be having us living in filth". I was cursing ahs then i thought about the scripture where whoever curses their parents their lamp will be put out. I feel bad about it now but my dad is very stubborn and feels since he's a man and my dad that he never has to listen to us. He's the head and it's his way all the time. I am ready to move out because i can't live here Am anymore. I don't bother to really clean up anymore because he doesn't care about my efforts and it means nothing to him. What should i do?

What should you do?
1. apologize. He's right in that it is his house and his stuff that you are disrespecting.

2. If you can afford to move out, then do so. Leave him in peace for once in his life, and stop complaining.

3. remember that he probably worked very hard to get all that stuff, and most likely he grew up in a time when "stuff" was scarce indeed. Odds are, if your father came from a large family there was very little that was his alone, and that hadn't been passed down to him, or that he didn't have to share with someone else. That's why he hoards, so that what he has won't be taken away from him.

What you consider trash is precious to him. Remember that.

4. Make an effort to understand what matters to him, and why. You might learn a lot if you try to do so.

5. And lastly, remember to make an effort to understand and respect him, because he's waited a long, long time to be in the position where he is respected.

That's what he is trying to tell you.
And just like everybody else in his life, even though he has the right to be listened to, you aren't listening to him. You are more concerned with what you want, and that's why the two of you fight.

You have the rest of your lifetime to have things your way, but while you live in your Father's house, you do things his way because he deserves your respect.

 

[FightTheFlesh]

Apologize to your father. He needs professional help for his hoarding and the issues that brought it on. If your environment causes strife and disrespect it is better to move than dishonor him and God.

In the meantime, ask your church for resources for Christian counseling. Until he’s seeing a therapist and dealing with the bigger problems his hoarding will continue. Pray for him and yourself. Ask for peace and healing for you both.

I wish i could move out but i also have a dish l disability/illness that is very humiliating that i suffer from. This disability has made it hard for me to keep a job because my coworkers make fun of me for it and not just coworkers but everyday people in real life. This thing had stopped me from making anything of myself or going to school because my illness can disrupt an entire room. It's really humiliating and it's another reason i sometimes stay angry at GOD because i think it's a curse from Him. No matter how much i try to do right by GOD He will not take this illness from me. I've tried many things and it's here to stay. It's another reason why i never really dated or started a relationship with anyone because i do not want to offend a potential partner. It's embarrassing. I haven't been diagnosed yet but i know i have this illness.

 

[bèlla]

Why haven’t you sought medical help? You may be depriving yourself of treatments that could remedy or lessen your condition. You can’t play armchair physician. No matter how embarrassing it is. Make a commitment to see someone and confirm your thoughts. It could be a different condition with similar symptoms.

 

[com7fy8]

Tell them you are not leaving out of spite nor anger but simply because it is time to leave the nest and strike out on your own or words to that effect.

In any case, it is wise not to let any evil in you or around you decide what you do.

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21)

So, you say you have a disability. In any case, you have the energy to help clean the house. It is good to do things out of appreciation for your parents having you there.

There are people who do not know how to love. If they make fun of you, this can mean they do not know God. And you can become strong in Jesus so you can be their example and possibly your parents' example.

We all have impossible things to deal with . . . by the way What you need to do is actually what we all need to do ! !

Our Apostle Paul is considered to be one of the greatest people ever on this earth.

But does Paul say this?

What Paul does is share with us his "thorn in the flesh" experience > 2 Corinthians 12:7-15. He had this "thing" which was getting the better of him and so he begged Jesus to take it away. But Jesus would not grant Paul some miracle of convenience. Paul needed to learn how to do everything in God's grace >

God's grace is almighty with power to keep us safe from however Satanic people and things would get us under their power, and we have Jesus Christ's "rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:28-30), instead. Plus, God's almighty grace has us succeeding in doing whatsoever loving God is committed to doing with us . . . in sharing with us, in this grace.

So, we are not forsaken, with Jesus.

And Paul was allowed to have impossible trouble, so he would have to learn to depend on Christ, and not slip back to trusting in his own intelligence, ingenuity, independence, and influence he had as a church leader.

Learn how to love, with your parents. You are in a research laboratory where you can make breakthrough discoveries in how to love. And possibly you can then use this while reaching and helping people who are shut-ins and who have no one, even. You might do this professionally or in connection with church Jesus people who know how to love you and these are good example for you to feed on.

And you can use your problems to help you to feel for others, but get victory with Jesus so you can help others to live well and to love, and not to live as victims of people who are so ruined that they do not know how to love. You can see in your situation how you, like anyone else, also need to find out how to love the way Jesus wants.

 

[Rescued One]

I want to. They said I should move out too, but when they see I'm really leaving they try to convince me to stay.

That's nuts. Leave anyway.

 

[Tolworth John]

he goes to bringing all kinds of junk back up to the room im sleeping in. I couldn't take it anymore and i snapped on him. I started cursing

Yes God will forgive you, but he will also expect you to sort out your relationship with your Father.

Once you have appologised and it has been accepted talk with him.
Find out why he is hoarding?
Ask about hygine in the house?
Find out what rights you have in your bedroom, is it your room, and he has to knock and wait for an invite or are you an interloper with no rights or privacy?

As hasbeen already said your Father needs help and you need to move out.

Talk to him.

 

[Rescued One]

...

Later I had a family member who did the same thing to me - threw out my stuff without asking. Wow, was that painful. I knew why I had kept the stuff but my reasons were disregarded. So from your dad's perspective, he might be feeling like I did then, angry and also hurt that it's his kid doing it to him.

Same here...multiple times!

...
My thoughts, since you asked - As to sinning, the life lesson is that when you sin, you need to repent from sinning - turn away from sin. In this case, my thought is that you need to turn away from stepping over your dad's boundaries (which you did when you messed with his stuff when he doesn't want you to). Take on humility. Apologize for stepping on his boundary. Let him know you won't mess with his stuff and will seek his permission for any improvements you want to offer in the future.

 

[pdudgeon]

I wish i could move out but i also have a dish l disability/illness that is very humiliating that i suffer from. This disability has made it hard for me to keep a job because my coworkers make fun of me for it and not just coworkers but everyday people in real life. This thing had stopped me from making anything of myself or going to school because my illness can disrupt an entire room. It's really humiliating and it's another reason i sometimes stay angry at GOD because i think it's a curse from Him. No matter how much i try to do right by GOD He will not take this illness from me. I've tried many things and it's here to stay. It's another reason why i never really dated or started a relationship with anyone because i do not want to offend a potential partner. It's embarrassing. I haven't been diagnosed yet but i know i have this illness.

ok, there are three solutions to this problem.
1. get a check-up from a specialist, and a diagnosis of your problem.

While it may be embarrassing to you, your specialist will know exactly how this makes you feel, and they should be able to put you at ease and give you some helpful advice on how to deal with it.

2. If your parent's house comes with a yard, then check the local zoning laws and see if you can put a 10x12 shed in the backyard with plumbing.
That will give all of you some space and privacy.

3. look into online careers that you could do while working from home.

 

[jsimms615]

My dad is controlling and always has to be right on everything. He also has a hoarding problem. I've been cleaning the house and it's like all my efforts have been going down the drain. The other day i cleaned the hall closet out and the next day he had brought all of that junk right back into the closet and i had to clean it again. The next day after that i cleaned it back up and then he filled it back up with junk. And he does it on purpose to prove to me that it's his house and he's my dad so he doesn't have to do what I say. I just gave up on cleaning it even though i was mad. Lately I've been cleaning the upstairs room and he brings all of his junk back upstairs. I recleaned it and he goes to bringing all kinds of junk back up to the room im sleeping in. I couldn't take it anymore and i snapped on him. I started cursing and then he started bringing up GOD and at the moment i said "i don't wanna hear about GOD right now, because GOD would not be having us living in filth". I was cursing ahs then i thought about the scripture where whoever curses their parents their lamp will be put out. I feel bad about it now but my dad is very stubborn and feels since he's a man and my dad that he never has to listen to us. He's the head and it's his way all the time. I am ready to move out because i can't live here Am anymore. I don't bother to really clean up anymore because he doesn't care about my efforts and it means nothing to him. What should i do?

Realize that hoarding is a mental illness that your father needs treatment for and move out. Jesus already forgave you on the cross and he hasn't changed his mind. Read Romans 8