I Hope all this is God's Will

[studapples]

Since my wife left 24 years ago I've been the subject of a vicious hate campaign which has involved our kids, friends and her relatives. For the first seven years I wasn't aware of it though I did notice a distancing from me by the kids which their growing independence couldn't explain.

Cutting to the chase it's resulted in my not seeing any of the kids for over 15 years and not being involved in my two grandchildren's lives, indeed I haven't even seen one of them.

I'll take whatever life throws at me and deal with it the best way I can but I'd be really really take comfort from the fact that this is God's will. However there is one other issue playing on my mind. I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered something like this could have the faintest idea how it feels to be hated by everyone, including one's own kids, the fact that it's unjustified only makes it worse. So my second issue is - when I eventually pop off I don't have any serious concerns about being judged and if God really is a God of love and forgiveness (which I'm sure He is) does that mean that my ex will get away with what she's done? It wouldn't surprise me as she's got away with murder during her lifetime - she always did have a charmed life. I only wish those virtual knives she's used on my back were real.

 

[Sarah G]

Somebody posted this video on CF yesterday and I found it to be very powerful on the subject of forgiveness. (It is only 7 minutes don't worry!)

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Somebody posted this video on CF yesterday and I found it to be very powerful on the subject of forgiveness. (It is only 7 minutes don't worry!)

I agree. It was very good.

 

[Catherineanne]

Since my wife left 24 years ago I've been the subject of a vicious hate campaign which has involved our kids, friends and her relatives. For the first seven years I wasn't aware of it though I did notice a distancing from me by the kids which their growing independence couldn't explain.

Cutting to the chase it's resulted in my not seeing any of the kids for over 15 years and not being involved in my two grandchildren's lives, indeed I haven't even seen one of them.

I'll take whatever life throws at me and deal with it the best way I can but I'd be really really take comfort from the fact that this is God's will. However there is one other issue playing on my mind. I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered something like this could have the faintest idea how it feels to be hated by everyone, including one's own kids, the fact that it's unjustified only makes it worse. So my second issue is - when I eventually pop off I don't have any serious concerns about being judged and if God really is a God of love and forgiveness (which I'm sure He is) does that mean that my ex will get away with what she's done? It wouldn't surprise me as she's got away with murder during her lifetime - she always did have a charmed life. I only wish those virtual knives she's used on my back were real.

Your post is full of concern for yourself but does not seem to show any concern for how your children have coped without you in their lives.

Why do you think that is?

 

[studapples]

Your post appears to suggest a degree of self-pity on my party which I can assure you just doesn't exist and you ask how do I think my kids have coped without my being in their lives? to which I'd say 'extremely well as it's always been their decision not to have me in their lives'. A long time ago, well after our divorce I learned of something my wife had been up to during our marriage and I was so disgusted that I texted her to let her know that I now knew and I haven't seen my kids since. Do you really think I'd write what I have if the remedy was in my hands? Maybe it may have been better had you tried to answer my question rather than jump to the wrong conclusion and make a wild and incorrect generalisation.

 

[studapples]

I agree. It was very good.

Thank you. It was a very powerful and moving video and I'm glad I saw it. Though as far as I'm concerned it isn't a question of forgiveness - that goes without saying. It's bewilderment.

 

[Adstar]

Since my wife left 24 years ago I've been the subject of a vicious hate campaign which has involved our kids, friends and her relatives. For the first seven years I wasn't aware of it though I did notice a distancing from me by the kids which their growing independence couldn't explain.

Cutting to the chase it's resulted in my not seeing any of the kids for over 15 years and not being involved in my two grandchildren's lives, indeed I haven't even seen one of them.

I'll take whatever life throws at me and deal with it the best way I can but I'd be really really take comfort from the fact that this is God's will. However there is one other issue playing on my mind. I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered something like this could have the faintest idea how it feels to be hated by everyone, including one's own kids, the fact that it's unjustified only makes it worse. So my second issue is - when I eventually pop off I don't have any serious concerns about being judged and if God really is a God of love and forgiveness (which I'm sure He is) does that mean that my ex will get away with what she's done? It wouldn't surprise me as she's got away with murder during her lifetime - she always did have a charmed life. I only wish those virtual knives she's used on my back were real.

God knows what your former wife has done and what she believes... So the correct answer is,, God Knows...

If we believe Jesus and trust in the atonement He secured for our salvation all our sins are forgiven.. In the end all will be well for us.. Your relationship with God is what is important in the end.. Your wife will have to deal with her actions and she will have to face God one day and have all her actions exposed for all to see..

 

[tturt]

studapples, welcome to the forums.

Really sorry that this has happened and still happening. Since there's grandchildren, that means the "children" are now adults. Believe I would try to get in touch with them and just say something like there's my side of the story, whether you believe me or not I'm very sorry I wasn't in your life earlier, I'm here at ... if you ever want to talk. Would send Christmas cards, etc.

 

[rockytopva]

There is nothing in the bible that says we will serve Christ and not have to go through nothing. But... Carry your cross, endure your trials, pray for miracles, believe you will receive them, and hope for the best.

Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. - John 16:20

 

[studapples]

studapples, welcome to the forums.

Really sorry that this has happened and still happening. Since there's grandchildren, that means the "children" are now adults. Believe I would try to get in touch with them and just say something like there's my side of the story, whether you believe me or not I'm very sorry I wasn't in your life earlier, I'm here at ... if you ever want to talk. Would send Christmas cards, etc.

Thanks for your input and sentiments. As far as 'getting in touch' is concerned it's only recently I've stopped and that was because the last thing my elder daughter said to me was 'you're not so much my dad just a very nasty period in mum's life that she's so pleased is over'. How can one recover from that? But as I said I'm not feeling sorry for myself and will continue to handle whatever life throws at me, it's just that I'd like to know God is in there somewhere, looking over me.

 

[studapples]

There is nothing in the bible that says we will serve Christ and not have to go through nothing. But... Carry your cross, endure your trials, pray for miracles, believe you will receive them, and hope for the best.

Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. - John 16:20

I don't appear to have any choice do I?

 

[Roseonathorn]

If I were You I would write a letter to them first because chances are they will start an argument and You will not get said what You wanted. I say that because it gives some answers to some questions and them time to reflect. I also believe the ex have said only her side of the story.

 

[studapples]

If I were You I would write a letter to them first because chances are they will start an argument and You will not get said what You wanted. I say that because it gives some answers to some questions and them time to reflect. I also believe the ex have said only her side of the story.

As letters are returned unopened and the receiver replaced whenever they hear my voice I think you could be right.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Thanks for your input and sentiments. As far as 'getting in touch' is concerned it's only recently I've stopped and that was because the last thing my elder daughter said to me was 'you're not so much my dad just a very nasty period in mum's life that she's so pleased is over'. How can one recover from that? But as I said I'm not feeling sorry for myself and will continue to handle whatever life throws at me, it's just that I'd like to know God is in there somewhere, looking over me.

I suppose that is a very hard blow. However if Your grandchildren wants to meet You ever, do You have any address for them handy? You might not want to stick Your head in the bees nest again but know that what your kids said were probably coloured from stuff that their mom had told them that You did to her. They know not what she did to you, to equal the pain or make sense of your actions. In time someone might want to get in touch. It happened to my father that had a similar situation in life with an ex.

 

[Roseonathorn]

Well my question of the adress is answered. I suppose You can pray for them. I do believe nice birthdaycards with lovely pictures or some flowers or even chocolate might help. You might even be so "nasty" that You put another name on it to create curiosity or write Love - someone that wishes You well in life, instead of writing dad. It creates an interest perhaps. That way they do not feel they have to be on moms side against dad, as often can be the case, if mom won custody. However if You do not feel like it then don't. You have done Your part. But some kids, seem to want attention all the time. They scream daddy go away I hate You, when daddy goes, they scream don't leave me alone. They really do not want to be unloved. I do not know Your kids but some are that way. I suppose even adult kids can behave like that.

 

[studapples]

I suppose that is a very hard blow. However if Your grandchildren wants to meet You ever, do You have any address for them handy? You might not want to stick Your head in the bees nest again but know that what your kids said were probably coloured from stuff that their mom had told them that You did to her. They know not what she did to you, to equal the pain or make sense of your actions. In time someone might want to get in touch. It happened to my father that had a similar situation in life with an ex.

My first grandchild was three when I last saw him, he's about 18 now and probably doesn't know I exist and the other one's about four and certainly doesn't know I exist. No, I've been hitting my head against this brick wall for over 24 years yet although I haven't seen them since 2002 when we parted on very good terms; it's got so bad now that I wasn't even wanted at my daughter's wedding. I think I made a terrible mistake when I texted my ex saying I now knew what she'd been doing but I wouldn't have said anything, but looking back could she have relied on that? It'd be like treading on eggshells. My fault I suppose.

 

[studapples]

Well my question of the adress is answered. I suppose You can pray for them. I do believe nice birthdaycards with lovely pictures or some flowers or even chocolate might help. You might even be so "nasty" that You put another name on it to create curiosity or write Love - someone that wishes You well in life, instead of writing dad. It creates an interest perhaps. That way they do not feel they have to be on moms side against dad, as often can be the case, if mom won custody. However if You do not feel like it then don't. You have done Your part. But some kids, seem to want attention all the time. They scream daddy go away I hate You, when daddy goes, they scream don't leave me alone. They really do not want to be unloved. I do not know Your kids but some are that way. I suppose even adult kids can behave like that.

 

[studapples]

I think we're well passed the cards and chocolate stage, this is real hatred I'm getting yet I don't know what I've done. Don't suppose I ever will. I really can't believe a woman so lovely, so caring, so perfect could do something like this - it's evil.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

Since my wife left 24 years ago I've been the subject of a vicious hate campaign which has involved our kids, friends and her relatives. For the first seven years I wasn't aware of it though I did notice a distancing from me by the kids which their growing independence couldn't explain.

Cutting to the chase it's resulted in my not seeing any of the kids for over 15 years and not being involved in my two grandchildren's lives, indeed I haven't even seen one of them.

I'll take whatever life throws at me and deal with it the best way I can but I'd be really really take comfort from the fact that this is God's will. However there is one other issue playing on my mind. I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered something like this could have the faintest idea how it feels to be hated by everyone, including one's own kids, the fact that it's unjustified only makes it worse. So my second issue is - when I eventually pop off I don't have any serious concerns about being judged and if God really is a God of love and forgiveness (which I'm sure He is) does that mean that my ex will get away with what she's done? It wouldn't surprise me as she's got away with murder during her lifetime - she always did have a charmed life. I only wish those virtual knives she's used on my back were real.

You are suffering a lot and I'm sorry to hear that. Its a hard one and I can only offers prayers I'm afraid.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Since my wife left 24 years ago I've been the subject of a vicious hate campaign which has involved our kids, friends and her relatives. For the first seven years I wasn't aware of it though I did notice a distancing from me by the kids which their growing independence couldn't explain.

Cutting to the chase it's resulted in my not seeing any of the kids for over 15 years and not being involved in my two grandchildren's lives, indeed I haven't even seen one of them.

I'll take whatever life throws at me and deal with it the best way I can but I'd be really really take comfort from the fact that this is God's will. However there is one other issue playing on my mind. I don't think anyone who hasn't suffered something like this could have the faintest idea how it feels to be hated by everyone, including one's own kids, the fact that it's unjustified only makes it worse. So my second issue is - when I eventually pop off I don't have any serious concerns about being judged and if God really is a God of love and forgiveness (which I'm sure He is) does that mean that my ex will get away with what she's done? It wouldn't surprise me as she's got away with murder during her lifetime - she always did have a charmed life. I only wish those virtual knives she's used on my back were real.

Lies are still lies.
People either believe them or they don't.
Repeating lies will always have to be
covered up by more lies.

In the Bible....Potiphar's wife told a big old lie about
Joseph had tried to rape her.
Joseph ended up in jail...he be innocent.
No matter what was said or done against Joseph, his godliness
and his true character shone brightly.
Even in prison Joseph was granted favor and he continued
to use his talent to help and or serve others.
Joseph didn't know if he'd ever get out of prison, he chose
to be faithful in his duties and be faithful to God regardless.

Joseph did get out of prison and rose to a prominent position in Egypt.
Do note, there's no mention of him being exonerated of the attempted
rape of Potiphar's wife.
Joseph clung to God and purposed to living godly regardless of what
anyone said or tried to do against him.
Be like Joseph.