I have the mom guilt

Bumble Bee

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And it is bad. Part of it is separation anxiety from the ICU days but I am seriously struggling with needing to work because I want to be with my boys all the time. I feel like I’m not being a good mom because I am missing so much by being at work while they stay with their grandma.
 

SANTOSO

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And it is bad. Part of it is separation anxiety from the ICU days but I am seriously struggling with needing to work because I want to be with my boys all the time. I feel like I’m not being a good mom because I am missing so much by being at work while they stay with their grandma.

It seem that you have a mountain of cares that burden you.

Pray a short prayer:

Loving Father in Heaven, I don’t know how You are going to help, but one thing I do know — You will help.
Amen.

GBU
 
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mnorian

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And it is bad. Part of it is separation anxiety from the ICU days but I am seriously struggling with needing to work because I want to be with my boys all the time. I feel like I’m not being a good mom because I am missing so much by being at work while they stay with their grandma.

I used to feel very sad when I had to work nights on swing shift; so could only see my kids on the week-ends. As a man; you didn't dare tell people that you would cry because you had to work; they would look at me funny.

So I know a little how you feel; but also know women are more attached to their children; after all; they were part of your body for 9 months!:)

So I understand and am praying for you BB. :crossrc:
 
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Hazelelponi

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We had to be separated within an hour of his birth and then I wasn’t even allowed to hold him until the following afternoon.

My son is 36 now, but when he was born they wouldn't allow me to so much as see him (let alone hold him) for 3 days because they thought he was going to die and didn't want me to be "attached" to him when he did.. As if I wasn't attached already!

I understand how you feel, but you should count your blessings where you have them (your mom's help, living children, a good job) and don't allow emotions of guilt to overwhelm you.

If your not breastfeeding see if your doctor will prescribe you something for depression (buspar etc) as it might help you deal with the stress. When my daughter died of cancer a few years back my doctor prescribed some for me (short term) and I did find it helpful... I was just falling apart for real, and it really helped.

Get together with some other moms too, mom's always feel guilty about everything! You'll find your not alone, and perhaps it will help you learn to focus on the positive, and let go of the negative, putting it all in God's most capable Hand.
 
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Melody Suttles

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And it is bad. Part of it is separation anxiety from the ICU days but I am seriously struggling with needing to work because I want to be with my boys all the time. I feel like I’m not being a good mom because I am missing so much by being at work while they stay with their grandma.


Bee, I want you to know that I was a stay-at-home mom, and I still struggled with guilt -- some of us girls just seem to be able to beat ourselves up no matter the situation. I even have regrets that I could have done a better job as a mom - it's ridiculous, and I know it. If I let myself go there... I can even feel let down because I had guilt at all when I should have been in a perfect, joyful, and confident frame of mind 24 hours a day.

I'm convinced guilt has nothing to do with God's reality; not like conviction. Guilt is like a little snare, and when we begin to entertain guilt, we lay for ourselves snares within snares.

I found an article by a teacher on crosswalk.com. I posted the link below with a quote from her. I hope this is helpful.

In the meantime, let me encourage you. BE STRONG BEE, AND REMEMBER THAT YOUR KIDS CARE MORE ABOUT THE WAY YOU HELP THEM SEE THEMSELVES RATHER THAN IF THE HOUSE IS CLEAN AND DINNER IS ON THE TABLE. THEY WILL NEVER REMEMBER WHAT THEY HAD FOR DINNER, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAID AND DID IN THOSE TENDER MOMENTS.

Overcoming Mommy Guilt
"Satan loves this. The Bible even calls him "The Accuser." He wants to incapacitate us in any way possible. And with many of us, guilt is an extremely effective tool. It makes us focus on ourselves and our frailties, instead of on Christ and His provision for our sin. Guilt can be a paralyzing emotion. We are loathe to repeat the same mistake, so in our shame, we stop trying."
 
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