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I have no courage and losing hope

Discussion in 'Psychosis and Schizophrenia' started by Lord'sWarrior, May 15, 2019 at 2:36 PM.

  1. Lord'sWarrior

    Lord'sWarrior Active Member

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    I don't have the courage to commit suicide and I'm unable to live a normal life (work->home|home->work). I'm too frightened to face the world. I don't know what else to do. I'm losing faith in God. It's been three years since my reconversion to Jesus (or so I think I'm converted) and I don't see that many results. What I see is that I'm more frightened than what I was before.
    The only good thing I see from this is that in these three years I've abstained from any form of sexual activity for 4 months in a row. Apart from this I don't see much progress.
     
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  2. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie Supporter

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    "Normal" may look completely different for you, friend. Please, don't hurt yourself.

    The world sees life as a struggle to "make it". As Christians, our struggle is against sin, and the flesh, and we struggle to love, and to follow Christ. If you are doing thise things, you're doing well.
     
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  3. Aspzan

    Aspzan Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Do you have any aspirations and goals other than recovering?

    Also, generally if you focus on being consistent and pushing yourself little by little, in my opinion you'll see the most progress.

    Edit: I didn't mean to ignore what you said first. Please do not contemplate suicide. I don't think it would be courageous to do that at all.
     
  4. crossnote

    crossnote Berean Supporter

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    What I see reading this is that you are placing your hope in your own progress of righteousness. If that is the case, let me remind you that our salvation is dependent on His righteousness..His Faithfulness and His completing that which He began.

    Philippians 1:6 (KJV) Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
     
  5. Deborah D

    Deborah D Prayer Warrior Supporter

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    I have felt hopeless at times, and it's a horrible feeling. There's always hope!!! I pray that you will be filled with the hope and joy of the Lord!

    I urge you to post a prayer request on the prayer wall and speak to a chaplain.
     
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  6. NeedyFollower

    NeedyFollower Well-Known Member

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    Much Progress ? Brother , abstaining from sexual activity in this day and age is one of the most difficult aspects of Christianity although many people wink at this . Paul said , he works even more than others ( then he corrects himself ) and says , yet not I but the spirit that works in me . Brother , I just wanted to encourage you to keep abstaining by God's grace . You know one thing about the gospel that I never knew ? The good news that I don't have to "Be" anything... for in Christ , I am more than any human has a right to be ..Not in myself for in my flesh dwells no good thing and it was buried with Christ . Abide in Him my brother . Depression may be from the enemy saying you are no good , not important , have no worth , etc. Jesus said to agree with your adversary while you are in the way lest he deliver you to the jailer ....I know this sounds counter-intuitive but when you feel down ...agree with your adversary and then laugh and praise God for His Son ...for truly HE is worthy but we are just flesh ...every one of us ..when I feel like that , I agree ...Yep ..I have nothing of worth for I was born in sin but praise God for Christ Jesus for in Him we are more than conquerors . By the way ..the world ( which is lost ) wants you to " Be Successful " . Don't fall for it . Keep looking to Jesus ! Do not look to yourself ..you will only find flesh . I hope to see you on that day . Grace and peace through Jesus .
     
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  7. Tone

    Tone Star Fish Radiant Supporter

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    Ruach ha Kodesh Breathe into you new life, in the Name of Yahshua ha Mashiach...ask Abba to be your courage, your thoughts, your imagination, your walk..."23The steps of a man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way." (Psalms 37:23).

    Remember the works He has prepared you to do, He empowers us to carry them out:

    "12Therefore, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 13For it is God who works in you to will and to act on behalf of His good pleasure." (philippians 2:12-13)

    "10For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life." (Ephesians 2:10)

    The only hope (or unhope) the enemy has is that you will not know his demise...all he can do is attempt to spread confusion, because he knows that when you realize this, and you see through the illusion...his works are at your mercy...THE ENEMY FEARS YOU!

    *The enemy's work is to steal, kill, and destroy...you, @Lord'sWarrior, are not called to this...you are called to give of your belongings, your bodily energy, and the spiritual life...impart the Word unto others. As the Lord's Warriors, we are subject to great attacks that would destroy us, but we have an incorruptible Seed within us...fight the good fight...go down swinging!
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2019 at 4:03 PM
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  8. Pavel Mosko

    Pavel Mosko Arch-Dude of the Apostolic

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    Well the fear/anxiety end of things is going to be something you will need to deal with. God I think often makes us face these things because it does in the long run if we trust in Him, build our Faith and our relationship with him. If there is way to be treated for anxiety, phobias etc. then seek that. If you do not have insurance, money or the right diagnosis to have that paid for or covered then you may have to avail yourself of self help.

    I will add I have some problems with that sort of thing myself in spite of my background in psychology using things like various cognitive behavioral therapy approaches especially Rational Emotive therapy books and videos. There are two basic causes of anxiety. Some of the talking therapies get to the screwed up thinking that can cause some of it, but some causes run deeper than that (more in the brain stem area rather than the cerebellum). For those deeper problems hypnosis, drugs and other kinds of treatments can help you.


    PS - Your lack of courage in suicide is a good thing! Based on my studies of the Bible and Christian theology, I believe that taking suicide as an out for the hardships of life is a very dubious proposition! While I have thought about this myself many times, I believe this is putting yourself in serious mortal jeopardy.

    1 Corinthians 10:13 King James Version (KJV)
    13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

    I think for the most part suicide is an expression of the lack of Faith in God, or at least it is people trying to force their will on the situation and hoping God will somehow understand and comply.

    And of course another issue is the commandment "Thou shalt not kill (Murder)" besides applying to other people also applies to ourselves. But anyway, I've seen from my own life that God's grace is the most active and visible, when the chips are down and you are at the end of your rope. So hang in there!
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2019 at 4:38 PM
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  9. Sola1517

    Sola1517 Saint-in-Progress (Looking for a Church)

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    Listen man, there is one thing I want you to know. Jesus loves you no matter if you can hold your own or not. Do you trust in him? (Mark 10:15) If so, you know you have the strength to live until he calls you home. God is at work in you. (Ephesians 2:10)
     
  10. Blade

    Blade Veteran Supporter

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    1st.. He is in now way mad upset with you. He is for you not against you. He will never leave you. To many times we walk by how we FEEL HEAR and SEE. We walk by faith.. faith in that.. what He said. HE WILL do.. no maybe no might. but WILL. See its ALL HIM.. He does it all..,

    The joy of the lord is your strength. Be strong in the lord in the power of HIS might. And then the peace of God, which transcends all our powers of thought, will be a garrison to guard your hearts and minds in union with Christ Jesus. For you... Isa 41 10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus"

    We put on the whole armor of GOD! Jesus said..Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid"

    I can keep going.. each what I just posted.. a GOD that lives in you HE said it.. the enemy comes in to kill steal and destroy. See God has not given you the spirit of fear but of power and love and a SOUND MIND! All again what I posted are promises for YOU! Not based on how you FEEL HEAR OR SEE! He said it HE WILL do it.

    This is all you have to do "When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. LORD, he said, my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly. Jesus said to him, Shall I come and heal him? The centurion replied, LORD, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it." When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith"

    See Jesus already spoke the word.. no matter now dark HE WILL ALWAYS be there! Just receive.. and as a believer in Yeshua/Jesus.. I have authority over all darkness and I bind the spirit of suicide ... and replace it with the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus.... in JESUS name. So resist the enemy he has to flee..

    I get this this.."For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning." Joy IS COMING
     
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  11. Jeshu

    Jeshu Bought by His Blood Supporter

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    To God's Depressed Child,

    To think less of yourself then God's own
    Brings you much pain and suffering.
    Your worth is an incredible high price
    Also for you did Jesus die on the cross.

    Depression is also what devil's lies brings inside
    letting a low-self-esteem your good life rob
    Untruths roaming freely through heart and mind
    Evil lies extinguishing all happiness and fun.

    His loving truth brings you His good life
    While to believe lies brings pain and grief
    So hold onto the promises Jesus made to you
    and don't let Satan your good life squander.

    Take hold of God's precious loving truth.
    A life in Him stays safe from lies that hurt.
    Jesus' truth will comfort your bleeding heart
    Lovingly remaking your fallen life anew.
     
  12. Sola1517

    Sola1517 Saint-in-Progress (Looking for a Church)

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    Post deleted.
     
  13. sea5763

    sea5763 Active Member

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    I have schizophrenia too. When I was first diagnosed with it I wanted to commit suicide because I thought my life was over. I ended up in a mental hospital the first time because active psychosis had me convinced that if I didn't commit suicide soon or get myself thrown in jail I would go to hell when I died. Later after taking the antipsychotics about two years later or so I ended up in a mental hospital because I wanted to commit suicide so badly. I had written a suicide note in the middle of the night and was on my way, planning to jump from a tall building, but turned around when I thought about how my family would be hurt by it. I was concerned I'd potentially go to hell if I did, but I wasn't sure it would make a difference, if I was going to hell when I died regardless of whether I committed suicide or not. when I was going to the outpatient program and taking the subway for it I was constantly thinking of jumping on the tracks to be killed by the train.

    For the six years after diagnosis I thought about suicide often. The antipsychotics helped because they silenced the voices, which gave me some peace of mind with that respect. But I just couldn't handle the idea of feeling like a monster hiding in my parents' basement until they died, and then either being a burden to my siblings and/or ending up homeless while all the dreams I had had for my life shattered.

    I was also scared of driving a car, which isn't much different than being afraid of going outside, because it's hard to go anywhere if you can't drive. I've been seeing a psychologist and making constant baby steps for years despite the suicidal thoughts weighing me down, and if everything goes according to plan I'll be graduating and starting a job in the next couple of months. But not everyone with schizophrenia is able to keep making baby steps because schizophrenia is a serious disability with very little sympathy.

    i've kept from actually attempting suicide during this whole time by just trying to spend more time focusing on the Bible and God than on myself. I also spent a lot of time on this site looking for purpose, but while it was a distraction I don't think i really found much of one from it. If I was to do it over again and was really not able to get a job, I would go to the prayer wall on this site and be a prayer warrior for my sense of purpose. I don't know how much more time I really plan to spend on this site though. We will see. The hope I think the Bible is talking about is hope in salvation. I think that while we can pray over circumstances in this life, our ultimate hope is heaven, not this life. When I was really down, I would pray often for a quick death and to die like tomorrow. It hasn't happened yet, obviously, but maybe God will listen and still let me die young.

    Now that things are getting better for me the suicidal thoughts are decreasing. I stuck around though because I didn't want to hurt my family, and because I didn't want to make God mad at me. It's been hard. I understand if you are too disabled to work. Many people with schizophrenia are just too disabled to work. It's hard not to feel like a burden being dependent on others, but sometimes people don't have a choice.

    We all have our own cross to bear, and each person is unique, and so are their challenges. Just remember that we are to love God and to love people, I think that is our ultimate purpose and that love is what matters, which is something that you can still do even if you're stuck at home. Even if you're too emotionally crippled to go out, try to be a loving and caring person to your family. Keep following God. Fight the good fight of faith and struggle through to finish the race. this life is not more than 120 years, but heaven is for eternity.

    It's good that you have come back to the faith and are overcoming sexual temptation. If that is all that is under your control, then do your best to overcome. And if and when you stumble, just pray for forgiveness and try again.
     
  14. frogoon234

    frogoon234 Active Member

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    Suicide draws other people away from Jesus Christ. You would do your community a huge disservice to do such a thing. I assume your a christian. You seem like a very thoughtful person. Don't do it is all i can say. I would consider moving out into the woods or to Alaska if finances is major issue. Definitely seek medical help. As for if you die a natural death, you have nothing to fear. If you move to Alaska and get killed by a bear, you'll instantly be with Jesus in paradise.

    Please don't commit suicide. Do your brothers and sisters a huge favor and be strong.
     
  15. mukk_in

    mukk_in Yankees fan Supporter

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    Seems to me that you need some counseling my friend. I'm requesting a staff member here to contact you. I'll be praying for you. Be strong in the Lord. I say it again, "be strong in the Lord."
     
  16. HehasRisen

    HehasRisen New Member

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    Pray without ceasing and don't give up brother.

    I was in a suicidal meltdown 4 months ago. God saved me from killing myself the day before I planned to commit. There are times when I question my conversion too, but if God didn't Save me I wouldn't be here.

    Remember that it isn't in God's will that anyone should perish, and that He will never forsake you. Your true brother's and sisters will be there to carry your burdens. God has everything under control; trust in Him and He'll pull you out.

    I'm glad to hear you're able to abstain from sexual activity. Bless you brother and stay strong. I'll be praying for you.
     
  17. GoldenKingGaze

    GoldenKingGaze Prevent Slavery, support the persecuted.

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    Someone I know recently went through this but pressed in hard to be healed and was delivered.
    Want to contact him?

    I also go this an worse at times. I suggest that you ask for God to recreate your brain, and to deliver you permanently from the dark could over the head.

    Ask for gifts of the Spirit for encouragement. There is a division in these forums for just that, unless you can get them first hand at church.
     
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