I have kissed dating goodbye!

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

But chocolate IS good for you.

 

[morningstar2651]

I feel my rules and what I want in a woman would be to hard on a. woman. One rule among many is no kissing until our engagement this is because I want to say pure. I have kissed dating goodbye and put the need for dating to bed.

Kissing isn't dirty, impure, or something to be ashamed about.

On the other hand...why wait until engagement? Why not until marriage? Why not the third date? Or the second? It seems like such an arbitrary prerequisite to set, doesn't it?

 

[LoveDivine]

As far as dating goes I am done with it for now. I am 40 something and have never been married. I have decided to join the Catholic Church and I am going to serve Jesuit Priest for the rest of my life.

I just hope I get a really cool uniform so all the women will want me but cant have me. I will change my name to chocolate, I am good but not good for you.

Lol. I am speechless at the chocolate comment.

 

[morningstar2651]

And besides all the good Christian girls in my life are already taken.

Would you settle for a bad Christian girl?

 

[scraparcs]

Kissing isn't dirty, impure, or something to be ashamed about.

On the other hand...why wait until engagement? Why not until marriage? Why not the third date? Or the second? It seems like such an arbitrary prerequisite to set, doesn't it?

Sometimes I wonder what purity is anyway, and why it applies so much more to women.

 

[Tom Mix]

But chocolate IS good for you.

A little is good for you, I am a giant chocolate bar, moment on the lips, life time on the hips.

Lol. I am speechless at the chocolate comment.

Try living in my world, I have to go through this 24 hours a day.

I am kidding though as I really do want to go serve Jesuit Priest at a Jesuit school in Kansas City. I am almost sure we do not get uniforms as we are just people helping others, but I will dress cool on my own.

 

[morningstar2651]

Sometimes I wonder what purity is anyway, and why it applies so much more to women.

It comes from the view of women as a man's property - that a woman should only love the one man who owns her.

The idea of someone being owned by another always kinda skeeved me out. Love isn't something you will have for one person only for the rest of your life. You'll probably love several people and may already have. Love is given freely - relationships are not. You can love someone or kiss someone without being in a relationship with them. You can also be in a relationship with someone without loving them, but I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[CCHIPSS]

As far as dating goes I am done with it for now. I am 40 something and have never been married. I have decided to join the Catholic Church and I am going to serve Jesuit Priest for the rest of my life.

I just hope I get a really cool uniform so all the women will want me but cant have me. I will change my name to chocolate, I am good but not good for you.

Please keep in mind that a person is only called to celibacy when he/she doesn't feel lonely at all. This is the true gift of celibacy, from the Holy Spirit, so that person can devote 100% of his/her time to serve God.

If a person feels lonely but cannot find a date/spouse, that person is not called to celibacy. It is not God's will for a person without the gift of celibacy to force himself into a role of celibacy. He will often harm himself and those around him.

So you have to ask yourself: Do you feel lonely? And you have to keep asking that question on your journey as a priest. If 4 years into the priesthood you feel lonely, you are no longer called to celibacy. God might call you to 10 years of celibacy, but not life time.

I say this because of those priests who did abuse little boys. They are clearly not called to celibacy yet they forced themselves into a life of celibacy. And their passion drove them insane. It is much better for them to leave the priesthood and go get married.

 

[Messy]

Please keep in mind that a person is only called to celibacy when he/she doesn't feel lonely at all. This is the true gift of celibacy, from the Holy Spirit, so that person can devote 100% of his/her time to serve God.

If a person feels lonely but cannot find a date/spouse, that person is not called to celibacy. A person without the gift of celibacy but yet force himself into a role of celibacy is not God's will. He will often harm himself and those around him.

So you have to ask yourself: Do you feel lonely? And you have to keep asking that question on your journey as a priest. If 4 years into the priesthood you feel lonely, you are no longer called to celibacy.

Where does that come from? I've heard it, if you want someone God has someone for you, but I don't believe it. Corrie ten Boom was in love with a guy and really wanted to marry. Still God called her to celibacy and if she felt lonely she got a female friend to help her.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Where does that come from? I've heard it, if you want someone God has someone for you, but I don't believe it. Corrie ten Boom was in love with a guy and really wanted to marry. Still God called her to celibacy and if she felt lonely she got a female friend to help her.

I learnt this from 1 Corinthian 7.

Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.[a] 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

It is best/ideal if a single person or a widow can devote 100% of his time and effort for God. But if he struggles with sexual immortality and loneliness, it is better to get married.

32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed,[k] if his[l] passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

The point of going celibacy is so the person won't have to worry about worldly things. He can then focus on worrying about Godly things.

If a person worries about his future wife, he is worrying about earthly things. His interest is divided, even if he isn't married. It is pointless for him to not get married, because his focus is not on Godly things even as a single person.

So let whoever has passion on getting a wife get married, for it has to be be this way. (verse 36) But if a person is called to celibacy, his desires will be fully under his control (verse 37). A person called to celibacy will be better at serving God and loving others.

If a person has passion to get married, let him get married. If a person has his desires under control, by the gift of the Holy Spirit, let him stay single.

 

[Messy]

I learnt this from 1 Corinthian 7.

It is best/ideal if a single person or a widow can devote 100% of his time and effort for God. But if he struggles with sexual immortality and loneliness, it is better to get married.

The point of going celibacy is so the person won't have to worry about worldly things. He can then focus on worrying about Godly things.

If a person worries about his future wife, he is worrying about earthly things. It is pointless for him to not get married, because his focus is not on the Godly things.

Oh yes but only loneliness, you have forums for that. I don't believe God has someone for me in the future and it doesn't really matter but I saw someone on mature Christians saying he really loves being single and he can focus on God. I don't feel like that. I had a way easier time focussing on God when I was married, but that doesn't mean I'm called to marry again. It just means I have to do more effort now to pray.
Some are cut by people: unfit to marry anymore. I just couldn't handle a man barking at me anymore. As much as I miss the good stuff never again.

 

[KandiJo]

Oh yes but only loneliness, you have forums for that. I don't believe God has someone for me in the future and it doesn't really matter but I saw someone on mature Christians saying he really loves being single and he can focus on God. I don't feel like that. I had a way easier time focussing on God when I was married, but that doesn't mean I'm called to marry again. It just means I have to do more effort now to pray.
Some are cut by people: unfit to marry anymore. I just couldn't handle a man barking at me anymore. As much as I miss the good stuff never again.

Take some time to figure out how to focus on God while single. It's not an overnight thing, it will take time.

Honestly, I do want to get married but I feel like I might be called to singleness. Just because I don't have a passion for marriage. It's like, yeah I want that.... But if it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't. xD

 

[Saucy]

Kissing is pretty nice. I enjoy it. Haven't done it in years, but I enjoy it lol. But if a future significant other wanted to until marriage to kiss, I'd be respectful of that.

I'm more into courtship than just straight dating for the heck of it. Rather than 'date', I'd rather become good friends and eventually best friends with the lady who has mutual interest in me. We then decide we are ready to become more. That's the most important foundation in a relationship if you ask me. There will be a time when the warm fuzzies aren't there, the infatuation goes away, and you'll have to make a daily decision to love them even if you don't feel like it. That's what marriage is.

True love isn't a feeling. You're not always going to feel it. It's a decision that you're going to love that person. You know they will be your best friend always.

I don't understand those who don't want relationships or never want to marry. I don't think celibacy for life is an admirable or Godly quality. He created us for relationships. His first command to us was to be 'fruitful' and multiply. I understand it was a different time, but it's still being fruitful. The marriage bed is pure and holy. He created and designed sex and relationships to be enjoyed between husband and wife.

If you never want to marry, that's fine and your decision. I'm not hating on it if that's what you truly want. But I hate how a certain church has turned that into a Godly thing when it's not. Putting God in the center of your marriage is the most holy thing we humans can do. It's an institution HE created and that's why I honor and respect it so much.

 

[KandiJo]

Kissing is pretty nice. I enjoy it. Haven't done it in years, but I enjoy it lol. But if a future significant other wanted to until marriage to kiss, I'd be respectful of that.

I'm more into courtship than just straight dating for the heck of it. Rather than 'date', I'd rather become good friends and eventually best friends with the lady who has mutual interest in me. We then decide we are ready to become more. That's the most important foundation in a relationship if you ask me. There will be a time when the warm fuzzies aren't there, the infatuation goes away, and you'll have to make a daily decision to love them even if you don't feel like it. That's what marriage is.

True love isn't a feeling. You're not always going to feel it. It's a decision that you're going to love that person. You know they will be your best friend always.

I don't understand those who don't want relationships or never want to marry. I don't think celibacy for life is an admirable or Godly quality. He created us for relationships. His first command to us was to be 'fruitful' and multiply. I understand it was a different time, but it's still being fruitful. The marriage bed is pure and holy. He created and designed sex and relationships to be enjoyed between husband and wife.

If you never want to marry, that's fine and your decision. I'm not hating on it if that's what you truly want. But I hate how a certain church has turned that into a Godly thing when it's not. Putting God in the center of your marriage is the most holy thing we humans can do. It's an institution HE created and that's why I honor and respect it so much.

Have you read 1 Corinthians 7?

Celibacy is a Godly quality when you are called to do it and are doing it with the right heart. Not a "better than you because I am single" but as an understanding that you can do certain things single that you cannot do while married and that God is calling you to do one of those things.

I believe both being single and being married are admirable and Godly qualities. He blesses both, and he loves both. Neither one is better than the other.

 

[Messy]

But I hate how a certain church has turned that into a Godly thing when it's not.

It is, but not for everyone. It's just as annoying when they say marriage is such a Godly thing. Yeah sure for those who are called to marry. It's best to do what He wants.

 

[LoveDivine]

Please keep in mind that a person is only called to celibacy when he/she doesn't feel lonely at all. This is the true gift of celibacy, from the Holy Spirit, so that person can devote 100% of his/her time to serve God.

If a person feels lonely but cannot find a date/spouse, that person is not called to celibacy. It is not God's will for a person without the gift of celibacy to force himself into a role of celibacy. He will often harm himself and those around him.

So you have to ask yourself: Do you feel lonely? And you have to keep asking that question on your journey as a priest. If 4 years into the priesthood you feel lonely, you are no longer called to celibacy. God might call you to 10 years of celibacy, but not life time.

I say this because of those priests who did abuse little boys. They are clearly not called to celibacy yet they forced themselves into a life of celibacy. And their passion drove them insane. It is much better for them to leave the priesthood and go get married.

Hey CCHIPPS, I do agree with many of your points. I don't think it is always very wise for a person who really desires marriage to force himself into a life of celibacy(unless he feels strongly called of God to do so). However, I don't think that people who are called to that life of celibacy are free from experiencing loneliness. It makes it all too neat and tidy to believe that. I think Paul is mostly referring to individuals who by the grace of God are able to control their passions and sexual desires. There are some Christian men and women that seem to have greater grace in this area than others do.

I think if we look at Elijah as an example, we will see that he struggled greatly with loneliness at certain times. He felt so depressed and forsaken at one point (after Ahab hardened his heart following the showdown of Elijah and priests of Baal). that he wanted to die. It was then that God revealed to him that there were others in hiding that had not kissed Baal.

My point is that God may call an individual to a life of devotion and service and that person may not always find that life easy. We can't rule out that life for ourselves entirely based on the fact that we would struggle in that state. I am in no way saying that marriage is bad or a lesser state, but it seems wrong to me to think that God's will is marriage for almost everyone. I think as a person grows in his faith and accepts that calling from God, he has more grace to overcome loneliness. Hey, I by nature am a very outgoing, social extrovert. As a child, I was constantly inviting people over to my house for lunch (much to my mom's chagrin). It is through passing through life's difficulties and experiencing isolation at times because of my faith, I have learned to enjoy my own company more and more. I still struggle with loneliness at times, but I have grown, and I have come to accept my life. I have peace and joy (for the most part) and I have come to terms with the reality that I may never get married or have a huge circle of friends. I wouldn't say that I have the gift of singleness because I can experience joy in isolation. I can say that God gives grace to us all to overcome.

 

[Saucy]

I kindly disagree

 

[KandiJo]

I kindly disagree

With what?

 

[LoveDivine]

I kindly disagree

How dare you

 

[KandiJo]

Hey CCHIPPS, I do agree with many of your points. I don't think it is always very wise for a person who really desires marriage to force himself into a life of celibacy(unless he feels strongly called of God to do so). However, I don't think that people who are called to that life of celibacy are free from experiencing loneliness. It makes it all too neat and tidy to believe that. I think Paul is mostly referring to individuals who by the grace of God are able to control their passions and sexual desires. There are some Christian men and women that seem to have greater grace in this area than others do.

I can show you a lot of people who feel alone while married.

I believe the word Paul uses is burning desire to be married.

I feel lonely, but I do not feel a burning desire to get married. That may be why I am still single. It could change, maybe right now God is calling me to be single to work on things in my life, and later he would call me to be married. Maybe I am called to be single for life. That doesn't mean I never feel lonely. It means I rest in God and know that he is always with me.