I have kissed dating goodbye!

Hawthorne

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This reminds me of a post I wrote last summer, actually about this same topic....
Very well said.

Boundaries are for keeping you in, not for approaching, looking longingly over the edge, and looking both ways before jumping over. I'm sorry to say, I'm well practiced at that.
 
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CCHIPSS

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This reminds me of a post I wrote last summer, actually about this same topic....

That's a great way to put it. Everyone should know where their boundaries and line is. And once they draw that line, walk back from the line for 5 miles and then build an electric fence there so no one can cross.
 
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sundewgrower

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I am beginning to understand why some cultures practice prearrangement of marriages. I am not necessarily saying I would want to participate but I do see how it can eliminate a major decision being decided based on one's hormones and/or emotions.
Yep, it's not a bad deal in some cases, and would make some things a heck of a lot easier.
 
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CCHIPSS

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Yep, it's not a bad deal in some cases, and would make some things a heck of a lot easier.

I, in a way, support arranged marriages if the guy and the lady is within 5 years of age part. Like 23 and 18 is ok. I do not support arranged marriage that is a 40 year old guy with a 25 year old lady.

Of course both the guy and the lady should agree before hand on the arranged marriage. And they should see a few photos of each other before hand. The only requirement of an arrange marriage is they do not get to talk to each other at all before the marriage.
 
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MiniEmu

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Well, depending on how an arranged marriage takes place there is still a lot of decision making based on emotions. True there are some very cut and dry arrangements, but even then there is a risk that someone would not be deemed a good enough match. That's a very common complaint, especially among younger men who perhaps did not appreciate just how much value the families of potential matches would place on their chosen degree.

Or indeed you may find those they think are good matches for you are not at all to your taste. I've known more than one person reel from the discovery that the very good match their parents had decided upon was not at all to their aesthetic tastes, but the very, very real comment given to some of them was that if they wanted better matches they needed to be a better match. But of course these people have had more of a choice than others. Some turn up, see the match is not with someone they would have wanted, and have no choice but to proceed.

Besides, arranged marriages do not remove decisions made on hormones and emotions alone. It just means those decisions are made with greater secrecy, and in some cases mean you have more to lose if such things became public knowledge.

Re: age gap arrangements. It does not matter so much, it is an arrangement and if it is arranged well then the age difference is of little concern. In some cases it would be preferred as the older the gentleman in the match the more likely it is that he fits the criteria of being a good match. A younger man may be more of a gamble, he has potential but will he fulfil it?

However you roll the dice, there are complexities and frustrations.
 
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Messy

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You could always ask your parents or a mature christian what they think about it if you like someone. I think that works better than letting your parents pick someone for you. I have done that with my last date and everyone said no so this time I was so wise to listen. Some people can just use their own brains but I had pink glasses on.
I'm glad my mom didn't pick someone for me.
 
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LoveDivine

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I don't think I'd be opposed to an arranged marriage if we both consented to it beforehand.

I think it could work if you had a really good relationship with your parents and they respected your input and preferences. Even then, I would insist on meeting the person first. I could actually trust my mom to set me up with someone good as she knows how I think and what I like. She's helped me a few times to end relationships that were bound for trouble. Sometimes an unbiased and close family member or friend can help you see straight. Often times though, family can be meddling or not in sync with a person's wishes. I guess it really depends on the family dynamics.
 
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SnowyMacie

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I think it could work if you had a really good relationship with your parents and they respected your input and preferences. Even then, I would insist on meeting the person first. I could actually trust my mom to set me up with someone good as she knows how I think and what I like. She's helped me a few times to end relationships that were bound for trouble. Sometimes an unbiased and close family member or friend can help you see straight. Often times though, family can be meddling or not in sync with a person's wishes. I guess it really depends on the family dynamics.

That's a good point, that's also why I didn't specify who does the arranging. Maybe one day in the future we'll have some sort of advanced matchmaking service where that would take away dating entirely.
 
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Messy

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sundewgrower

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I, in a way, support arranged marriages if the guy and the lady is within 5 years of age part. Like 23 and 18 is ok. I do not support arranged marriage that is a 40 year old guy with a 25 year old lady.

Of course both the guy and the lady should agree before hand on the arranged marriage. And they should see a few photos of each other before hand. The only requirement of an arrange marriage is they do not get to talk to each other at all before the marriage.
Well. For instance.. My best friend is almost 17 and very mature (gotta be in her case) but wouldn't probably be ready for 3 years so I've opted for an endeared sister.
In a different world or situation I'd perhaps wait a good while, and make it an arrangement of sorts. But I'm opting to just be a great friend, and maybe if the time is right later we can talk about it. Wish she was older but I'll take what God gives me and do what's best for everybody.
 
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Saucy

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Don't talk to me about arranged marriages...
Hey I think that arranged marriage of peanut butter and chocolate worked out nicely for you.
 
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KandiJo

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d397375c2d3cf5142a86a507283deb39.jpg


They have meme's for everything apparently.
 
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Tom Mix

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As far as dating goes I am done with it for now. I am 40 something and have never been married. I have decided to join the Catholic Church and I am going to serve Jesuit Priest for the rest of my life.

I just hope I get a really cool uniform so all the women will want me but cant have me. I will change my name to chocolate, I am good but not good for you.
 
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