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I have kissed dating goodbye!

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by historyincognito, Jul 5, 2015.

  1. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Really? Please explain.

    I have to say, I find this particular thread quite entertaining. lol
     
  2. dayhiker

    dayhiker Mature veteran

    +4,804
    Charismatic
    In Relationship
    US-Others
    Ya, I have no idea why kissing a woman in public is degrading. Not showing affection in public causes more harm to people that not are the stories I've heard thru my life.
     
  3. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    This is coming from a small sliver of the Christian population that have a backwards way of thinking. I typically avoid even associating with these types of people.
     
  4. blackribbon

    blackribbon Not a newbie

    +6,038
    Christian
    Kissing or making out? I don't want to see a couple trying to swallow each other...even if they are married. However, I do love when I see a husband or wife lean over and kiss their spouse simple because they love them. This kind of kiss isn't likely to lead to anything beyond feeling adored and valued. Same goes if they are dating ...because you can't just look at a couple and know if they are married or not.

    I think societies that show some level of displays of affection like hand holding or sitting close together or a quick kiss to be a sign of a healthy society with good relationships.

    A wife who is kiss and has her hand held in public is more likely to warm up to higher levels of intimate touch behind closed doors because she does feel like her man is proud to be be with her.

    As for kissing when dating, it should be appropriate for where you are in your commitment level. It should also be appropriate for the situation. (again, I don't mind a peck if you are going to your own homes but I don't want to watch a sex with clothing on sort of display) And if you know yourself to have control issues when alone, then it would be something to explored separately because it could affect your relationship over time.
     
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  5. blessedintrovert

    blessedintrovert New Member

    60
    +31
    Non-Denom
    Private
    And what is this backward thinking?
     
  6. BirdBrain27

    BirdBrain27 New Member

    13
    +19
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    This thread has been an interesting one to read. 41 and yet to be married, blessed to have God’s protection over me. Needed to work on having my walk with Him strengthened and Him first. Improved by leaps and bounds now. My concern would be when God decided I’m ready. Would be what boundaries to set up, obviously no pre-martial sex. My concern stem from being from a family that encourages sex before marriage. And that the enemy will try to pull me into that direction through the influence my Dad and Brother. Where can one draw the line to help stop this?
     
  7. Sir Robbins

    Sir Robbins Looking for peanut butter

    737
    +218
    United States
    Christian
    Celibate
    US-Libertarian
    I came from a background of "old money" so to speak and very traditional beliefs where putting your hands on a woman in public was forbidden. It's also something you're taught in certain events like toastmasters (even though that's more a public speaking course). I did see someone else post about me being more specific. I will state it as "making out, being all over each other, etc." A simple peck on the cheek or lips is fine to me and most others but when it gets out of control, passionate, and so on, keep that private.
     
  8. Single Life

    Single Life Member

    127
    +86
    United States
    Nazarene
    Single
    I trust God will provide her in His time.
     
  9. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +4,892
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    How do you address the issue now? If your libido is raging without a prospect or object of affection. It is likely you will experience similar challenges when dating.

    There’s nothing wrong with you if that’s the case. Some excel at abstinence and others not so much. It doesn’t mean those who do have a low libido. Grace and self-control are usually plentiful.

    As for your family, don’t entertain the conversation or volunteer details that will lead in that direction. Having a Christian friend for support and accountability may help. You needn’t wait for her arrival. You can develop the friendship now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2019
  10. Single Life

    Single Life Member

    127
    +86
    United States
    Nazarene
    Single
    I am in the same boat I will not kiss until wedding day.
     
  11. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Chances are nil you will find someone that will be on board with that.
     
  12. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +4,892
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    A kiss will not lead to sex unless you’ve already gone there in your head and the desire to continue forward remains.

    I’d respect the person who admitted their need for sex rather than creating an excuse to hide the truth.

    I don’t know where the hangups and crazy ideas come from. They’re pretty out there.
     
  13. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Yeah, if you want to guarantee single-hood for the rest of your life, tell a soon-to-be gone dating prospect you don't want to kiss until your wedding day. They'll indeed move on.
     
  14. Blessed Celibate Life

    Blessed Celibate Life New Member

    15
    +7
    United States
    Protestant
    Celibate
    I am finding that in this life I will not find anyone that goes along with this thinking or that is why I have chosen a life fully devoted to to the lord. For I find this is the best life for me. I am also in the camp of no kissing but in fact I Feel uncomfortable even hugging so that says a lot about me I guess.
     
  15. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Well, then...that's an entirely different conversation.
     
  16. Blessed Celibate Life

    Blessed Celibate Life New Member

    15
    +7
    United States
    Protestant
    Celibate
    Oh I am sorry, wrong thread. I am new. Maybe, I will start a thread about being uncomfortable about hugging.
     
  17. Blessed Celibate Life

    Blessed Celibate Life New Member

    15
    +7
    United States
    Protestant
    Celibate
    I disagree on this there may be many women who want to do this. I am in the boat of no dating but there is someone out there for you. You should just let God chose her for you. God is the best matchmaker not a dating website so continue doing what you are doing and trust God in this situation.
     
  18. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Okay, I take it back. I wouldn't say there would be NONE that would be on board with this, but definitely not MANY. Definitely very, very small chance.
     
  19. ThisIsMe123

    ThisIsMe123 Not sure

    +350
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Personally, I would think they would have some kind of intimacy issues.
     
  20. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +4,892
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Some of this is the result of a desire to belong. And for many church and religion fill that void. They adhere to the messages because the group provides the intimacy and acceptance they lack elsewhere.

    A rational mind would realize that some ideas are foolish. But that is secondary to the emotional and social needs they’re trying to address. Feeding it matters most.

    I suspect it comes back to love. If your love meter is full, intimacy is not an issue. Nor is belonging or communication. Even if you’re shy, an introvert, or disabled. But if your love meter is low, simple things become a challenge. You look in other places to replenish the deficiency.

    This why two people can attend a church. One focuses on the experience and the other on what they failed to receive. The latter is desirous of social and emotional feeding far more than the first. When it’s absent they say they’ve been rejected.

    If the love meter is low, intimacy is difficult. When it arrives they hold on tight and often choke its breath.
     
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