I have kissed dating goodbye!

[LoveDivine]

I can show you a lot of people who feel alone while married.

I believe the word Paul uses is burning desire to be married.

I feel lonely, but I do not feel a burning desire to get married. That may be why I am still single. It could change, maybe right now God is calling me to be single to work on things in my life, and later he would call me to be married. Maybe I am called to be single for life. That doesn't mean I never feel lonely. It means I rest in God and know that he is always with me.

I agree. I think this passage is totally referring to an individual's sexual appetite and passions. Of course, all Christians need to refrain from temptation and practice self control. However, some individuals struggle more with this and may need a wife to help satisfy those passions in a Godly manner. Some men and women who do have a "gift of singleness" from God may have much more grace to resist sexual temptation and may not really struggle with the desire. Loneliness though can affect anyone at any point in their life. Humans have an innate need for fellowship and camaraderie. I just think the idea that gift of singleness equals no loneliness takes away any consideration of this element and almost makes those who remain celibate, Superheroes, haha. I think too many Christians shy away from the concept that a Christian can follow the will of God and His plan for their life and also experience pain and sorrow while being in the will of God. God also calls individuals to martyrdom.

 

[Saucy]

One of the pastors taught me in bible college that when reading the bible, you must always look at several things. 1) who is writing? 2) who are they writing to 3) why are they writing.

It's incorrect to take every word or phrase in the bible and automatically assume that's God's position. Yes, in Corinthians, Paul writes that about marriage. What is that the end of the story? Was Paul writing to you or to the Corinthians? What was also going on in Corinth at the time? Is there a reason why he would tell them it's better not to marry? Is that a scripture we can pull out and apply it as God's word to us and our lives?

I don't see it as a church-wide command that it's better to remain single. Corinth was struggling at the time with massive persecutions and he felt it was best for them not to marry unless they just couldn't handle it.

But Jesus Himself said, “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

But the best verse in my mind to this is God saying in Genesis that it's NOT good for man to be alone. Then He created Eve. Well, if it's not good for man to be alone, and He created marriage, and Jesus upheld the institution.

Anyway, just my thoughts

 

[LoveDivine]

One of the pastors taught me in bible college that when reading the bible, you must always look at several things. 1) who is writing? 2) who are they writing to 3) why are they writing.

It's incorrect to take every word or phrase in the bible and automatically assume that's God's position. Yes, in Corinthians, Paul writes that about marriage. What is that the end of the story? Was Paul writing to you or to the Corinthians? What was also going on in Corinth at the time? Is there a reason why he would tell them it's better not to marry? Is that a scripture we can pull out and apply it as God's word to us and our lives?

I don't see it as a church-wide command that it's better to remain single. Corinth was struggling at the time with massive persecutions and he felt it was best for them not to marry unless they just couldn't handle it.

But Jesus Himself said, “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

But the best verse in my mind to this is God saying in Genesis that it's NOT good for man to be alone. Then He created Eve. Well, if it's not good for man to be alone, and He created marriage, and Jesus upheld the institution.

Anyway, just my thoughts

I agree with you completely that God isn't calling everyone to remain single. I also don't think that it is right to exalt a state of celibacy over marriage. My only point of disagreement with CCHIPPS was that following the will of God is not always easy and a person can still experience the pain of loneliness while being in God's will. I just don't feel comfortable personally stating that those who have the grace to remain celibate don't feel lonely at times. Perhaps I am not able to articulate my meaning well. I really do think marriage is blessed of God and the best situation for most Christians. I think a person should really seek God and follow His leading before concluding that he should remain celibate. I think that is the key. I also think a person who is unlucky in love and not able to get married may not truly have the gift of singleness. Just because a person finds himself in that situation (of longterm singleness), it doesn't mean that was God's will for his life. Often times, we screw up situations that could have been blessings from God. Probably, what I should have said, was that most Christians are too quick to assume and conclude God's will for their life without really seeking Him first. That hastiness could result in a person incorrectly deciding that it is God's will for them to marry or that they have the "gift of singleness." I realize that different branches of Christianity take this concept to extremes. I think you may be reacting to those you have encountered that incorrectly elevate the state of celibacy and frown on those who are married as being less devoted to God. I don't agree with that either. On the other hand, I am possibly reacting to the majority of evangelicals I have encountered (I was raised in evangelical Christianity). Most automatically assume that God wants each and every individual to get married and have children. To remain single means you are odd or a failure. It couldn't possibly be that God actually called you to that lifestyle.

 

[Messy]

I can show you a lot of people who feel alone while married.

who envy the single ones
When ever I think: ooooh I want a husband! I think back to my last marriage where we were both sitting in a corner of the room lol he with WOW and head phones so I didn't hear the roaring monsters and me with head phones on listening to Hal Lindsay on my laptop, reading rapture ready to find out when Jesus would come back to get me away. Oh and the relief I felt and the new joy in the Lord when he left. The minor loneliness I sometimes have is nothing and easily solved when I go do something fun with the kids, meet a mom from the kids they play with, go out with collegues or go to church or pray or go to cf.

 

[Messy]

God also calls individuals to martyrdom.

If you read that story from Corrie ten Boom, first it starts with her and a boyfriend talking about their future. Then he takes someone else. You think: awww poor thing! Her sister gets a great marriage, her brother too. Later the brother and her husband give their lives to save Jews. The other unmarried sister dies in a concentration camp but first brings a lot of souls to Him, together with Corrie. Well I think it was much better that way. You wouldn't want to be in such a camp with your husband at home, worried and crying or that your husband dies.
That was one of the reasons Paul said they could better stay alone. There was persecution.

 

[LoveDivine]

If you read that story from Corrie ten Boom, first it starts with her and a boyfriend talking about their future. Then he takes someone else. You think: awww poor thing! Her sister gets a great marriage, her brother too. Later the brother and her husband give their lives to save Jews. The other unmarried sister dies in a concentration camp but first brings a lot of souls to Him, together with Corrie. Well I think it was much better that way. You wouldn't want to be in such a camp with your husband at home, worried and crying or that your husband dies.
That was one of the reasons Paul said they could better stay alone. There was persecution.

I love her story. She really was an incredible woman. I read The Hiding Place (also saw the movie). She should be a national hero for Holland. Her message that "no pit is so deep that He is not deeper still," is so powerful. I will never forget that.

 

[Saucy]

Yeah i agree i reckon my point is I see the context of those verses as making the decision to remain single because youre moving to Africa to be a missionary or something of that sort.

 

[LoveDivine]

Yeah i agree i reckon my point is I see the context of those verses as making the decision to remain single because youre moving to Africa to be a missionary or something of that sort.

Okay, good. Now that you are in agreement, I don't have to ask King Matt to send you to the Tower Green

 

[Saucy]

Be careful now. I can overthrow you haha

 

[LoveDivine]

Be careful now. I can overthrow you haha

Haha, very true. I think a few queens have ended up there too. Ann Boleyn for sure.

 

[KandiJo]

So god does call some to be single. Not everyone is called to be single. God blessed both. Follow the path you are called.

Never once did I say everyone needs to be single. No one said that. We all said God calls people to different paths and each path is blessed. Married people are blessed. Single people are blessed. God calls some to be single and some to not.

No one path is better. They both lead to God. God blesses both paths.

 

[Saucy]

No. My way is better. Lol jk

 

[dayhiker]

I loved Corrie Ten Boom's story as well ... So now I got to brag that I hear her speak in Kansas City in the early 70's

Saucy ... I agree with your hermeneutics. We often don't realize how many layers of theology and tradition have peen put on top of the Word of God.

 

[CCHIPSS]

Hey CCHIPPS, I do agree with many of your points. I don't think it is always very wise for a person who really desires marriage to force himself into a life of celibacy(unless he feels strongly called of God to do so). However, I don't think that people who are called to that life of celibacy are free from experiencing loneliness. It makes it all too neat and tidy to believe that. I think Paul is mostly referring to individuals who by the grace of God are able to control their passions and sexual desires. There are some Christian men and women that seem to have greater grace in this area than others do.

I think if we look at Elijah as an example, we will see that he struggled greatly with loneliness at certain times. He felt so depressed and forsaken at one point (after Ahab hardened his heart following the showdown of Elijah and priests of Baal). that he wanted to die. It was then that God revealed to him that there were others in hiding that had not kissed Baal.

My point is that God may call an individual to a life of devotion and service and that person may not always find that life easy. We can't rule out that life for ourselves entirely based on the fact that we would struggle in that state. I am in no way saying that marriage is bad or a lesser state, but it seems wrong to me to think that God's will is marriage for almost everyone. I think as a person grows in his faith and accepts that calling from God, he has more grace to overcome loneliness. Hey, I by nature am a very outgoing, social extrovert. As a child, I was constantly inviting people over to my house for lunch (much to my mom's chagrin). It is through passing through life's difficulties and experiencing isolation at times because of my faith, I have learned to enjoy my own company more and more. I still struggle with loneliness at times, but I have grown, and I have come to accept my life. I have peace and joy (for the most part) and I have come to terms with the reality that I may never get married or have a huge circle of friends. I wouldn't say that I have the gift of singleness because I can experience joy in isolation. I can say that God gives grace to us all to overcome.

Yes I agree that those called to celibacy may indeed feel lonely at times. However I don't feel they would be overwhelmed by their loneliness. The Holy Spirit will give them enough resistance that they do not feel lonely all day and night.

I stand by my case: If someone cannot find a spouse yet feeling that they are driven insane by their loneliness, that person is not called to celibacy.

My point is we have to be very careful calling ourselves to celibacy just because we are currently single. Instead we should ask our heart and pray to God about it. And celibacy might be only for a season, not for our whole life (e.g. Sound of Music).

To clarify, I will give 3 examples:

Person A: He stayed single for life, and the Holy Spirit blessed him to resistance to loneliness. He served God for 20% of his life.
Person B: He was single for life, but was driving insane by his loneliness. He kept spending time thinking about his potential spouse. He only served God for 10% of his life.
Person C: He got married and served God for 10% of his life.

Now Person A is obviously the best, as he did the most for the kingdom of God. However when it comes to Person B and C, I would argue that they are equal. That's because they served the kingdom the God (volunteering, donating, loving his neighbour, etc) the same amount.

And I would guess (I am not sure about this) that God would actually view Person C higher. Because Person C got a family to take care of and still he served God with 10% of his life.

 

[Everyday Sunday]

God bless you my friend

 

[Everyday Sunday]

Too be honest I am seriously fearful of the woman.

 

[Sir Robbins]

Maybe you can explain to me then the point of no kissing before marriage. I've heard of this before, but honestly I'm not sure how it makes sense.

Or should I just say I hope this works for you?

kissing in public is degrading to a woman, kissing in private can lead to other things....

I think the decision is quite admirable and should be honored and carried out more often

 

[Single Life]

Finally someone wants to date the way I do.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

....................................................

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'm a believer in no kissing before marriage. I would love for my marriage to have that story to it... that we saved all of the more "intimate affection" for marriage. First kiss at the alter would be awesome.

You want to have a "story" to it? That doesn't make any sense. Why does it need a "story"? I think you're just in love with the idea of it being some kind of Hollywood situation.

I think you're overglorifying it all.

There's no real reason NOT to kiss someone before marriage. Some only THINK it'll lead to sex. But, I think it's just an excuse and maybe, just maybe, your'e nervous around women in general.