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Featured I have awful doubts and a scare to read the bible

Discussion in 'Requests for Christian Advice' started by lutherangerman, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    Hello,

    for some years now I am doing very bad. I have lot's of doubts about God being there and I am sick with psychosis and often have days when I feel like everything becomes hell and that we are doomed to die and disappear from life. I used to be a normal christian and went to church and such, but this is hard now because I live in a group home a distance away from church and do not have a car. I also have problems being around people, feeling shy and insecure when I am.

    I tried to read the bible but much of the book makes me very afraid. I had a good and kind dad who was an atheist until he died and I feel like I can't accept orthodoxy when it says atheists would go to hell. I hope there is an alternative because not everyone can so easily believe in God and I have had awful doubts too and sometimes still have.

    If you could pray for me I would be very grateful. I have obsessive thoughts about satan every day and either feel bad scare or get tempting thoughts about giving in. I normally do not allow that myself but sometimes stuff slipped through. I am tired from fighting and from the fear. I wish I could find a nice christian person to really see through me and deliver me. Thank you and God bless you!
     
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  2. “Paisios”

    “Paisios” Sinner Supporter

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    Certainly, I will pray for you, that you might receive strength, rest and comfort in the Holy Spirit, and that your doubts might be resolved.

    Continue in your efforts to pray, ask God for help, and know that He is a loving God. I think there are moments that all of us have doubts, some more than others, but it doesn’t mean we are lost.
     
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  3. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Angels Team Supporter

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    I am praying friend.
    Romans 8:38-39 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.
     
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  4. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    Thank you. Is there a way to believe that non-christians get saved too? Abraham was not a christian either, also not David or Noah. It's hard for me to imagine that a living human being gets (eternally) rejected by the God who says He is love. Paul killed christians. David killed other people in war. Still they got saved, their sins were more than those of my dad. I know it's a shame that he did not believe, but he just could not for some reason and still he was always sweet to me and helped me much when I got sick with psychosis. Any ideas?
     
  5. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Angels Team Supporter

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    No friend, Abraham was before Christ and that is Old Testament, That was under the law, We are under grace "if" we are a child of God. Do me a favor here, Read Romans 10:9-13 and tell me in your words what it says to you?
     
  6. Southernscotty

    Southernscotty Well-Known Member Angels Team Supporter

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    The only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ and the salvation He provides, God sends no one to hell, People send themselves there simply by not accepting God's free gift of grace. God loves you very much and wants you accept Him.
     
  7. drjean

    drjean Senior Veteran Supporter

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    I would just keep reading the letter of John's... the 4th Gospel book... all about God's love... Absorb it.. maybe try to memorize several of it's verses you know, to use as a mantra when you are having troubles and yet 'know' you are...

    Science has proven we can alter our very DNA with our mind... it might take a while for you because of your current DX but I believe that though this struggle is very real to you, you can improve... but you need to focus on God's Word imo... as much as you can...

    For GOD SO LOVED ahhhhh He loves you. He loves me! (That He loves me may be even more astonishing! :D)
     
  8. Sanoy

    Sanoy Well-Known Member

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    No one who knowingly rejects God will go to heaven. But the rest is up to God. You might like Romans, because it describes people who are justified by faith, like Abraham, and Gentiles who are accused or excused based on their response to the revelation of God that they did receive. Romans 2:14-16

    Christ is the only way, but there are two revelations of God to find Christ in. The Gospels, and God's general revelation through His divine attributes and the things that were made. Romans 1:20
     
  9. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    Thank you for your kind comments. I took communion today and feel a bit better. I still have some bad obsessive thoughts and it feels like I am a bad sinner. It's only thoughts and no sinful actions. Could you please recommend a good spiritual book? I have some money left and need food.
     
  10. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    Hello, lutherangerman. I haven't seen you post here for quite some time.

    Sounds like things aren't going well at all. You know, the people I know who never wonder about God's existence and their relationship to Him are always the people who love Him with all of their being. It's...interesting how obeying the First and Great Commandment (Matthew 22:36-38) has this effect, eh? How about you? Do you love God with all you are?

    Could you join a small-group Bible study? Surely, there must be something like that you could be a part of near where you are. Have you made any inquiries at the churches near you?

    I used to struggle mightily with shyness. Turns out, I was just really vain and self-centered. I was "shy" in order to protect myself from any embarrassment, or humiliation, or awkwardness that being with others might produce. My greatest interest was myself, not others. The effect of being like this was that I was very, very alone. I had to let go of my ego, my self-centeredness in order to be free of my isolation. How about you?

    Why? It's the story of God's redemption of mankind. It's a wonderful story! The best story ever told, in fact, and awesome news for you and me.

    I can see why it would be hard to accept that as good as your Dad might have been, he was not as good as he needed to be to get into God's kingdom. You see, God's standard for entrance into His kingdom is His own righteous and holy perfection, not how good I am compared to the next human. No one - not even your Dad - can get into God's holy realm on their own. They need the perfect righteousness of Christ imputed to them in order to do so. And your Dad denied this one route to an eternity with his Maker. This isn't on God, though, but on him.

    Doubts are almost always related to fear. When people fear God as their Judge, they can never rest in His love as their Heavenly Father. The answer to your fear is to know and believe the love that God has for you and to rest in the atoning work of His Son for you.

    1 John 4:15-19
    15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.
    16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.
    17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.
    18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
    19 We love Him because He first loved us.


    I have prayed for you in the past and will pray for you right now.

    I can relate. I was very obsessive-compulsive as a younger man. God freed me from it, though, as He can you. I had to learn to think differently, to interrupt my obsessive thinking with God's truth and to anchor my thoughts to it. Instead of the constant, endless circular debates about my fears, I began to tell myself what God said was true. As I did this, over time, I began to win free of the obsessiveness and finally, after a while, the obsessiveness dissolved entirely. God's truth has this transformative power. Will you use it to be free?

    John 8:31-32
    31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed.
    32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."


    No human person can deliver you but some can show you the path you must take to be delivered. Will you take it?
     
  11. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    I'm not sure you are correct, Aiki.

    When Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross, he said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing". This is for everyone, including Jesus' killers. When God could forgive them, he can forgive my dad his unbelief. We all go to God's judgment after death anyway, and Jesus sits there and he is the same yesterday, today and forever. Also, God is love and mercy triumphs over judgment, so if God wanted to triumph then he would be merciful to my dad.

    I can't think differently anyway, dad's a loved one and my family is also not believing in God. I would be in tears all day in Heaven if they would have to suffer forever. So this can't be it.
     
  12. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    In context, it was only for Jesus' killers. "They are doing" indicates a presently occurring event, not a yet-to-happen one. Jesus, then, was referring to those who were crucifying him as he spoke his prayer to his Father.

    Why should He? Why should God forgive your Dad his unbelief? God offered forgiveness to your Dad all of his life, but your Dad refused to take it. Your Dad wanted nothing to do with God this side of eternity, why would God force him to relate with Him on the other side?

    Every one of us deserves Hell. Every. Single. One. There is none righteous, no, not one. (Ro. 3:23) No one deserves to be forgiven by God and rescued from their sin. We have all earned our way into Hell, not Heaven. Including your Dad. Like the rest of us, your Dad deserves eternal separation from God - the very separation your Dad wanted during his life. If he died an unrepentant, Saviour-less man, your Dad will get in death what he wanted in life: an existence without God.

    This is the terrible weight of our choices. The things we choose to believe, the things we choose to do, carry eternal consequences. Our decisions here matter - some of them, for all of eternity.

    Yes, he is. He is holy, and just, and angry with the wicked every day. And, as Jesus warned, there will be those to whom he will say, "Depart from me you workers of iniquity. I never knew you." (Matt. 7:23) These are people who were doing good deeds in Christ's name. How much surer and greater will be his rejection of those who ignored him all their life?

    God is also holy and just. His mercy and love do not negate, or deny, or contradict his holiness and justness. However God triumphs, then, it will be in a holy and just way. This means all those who reject the sole way of salvation God offers to them in Christ must make their own payment for their sin, they must satisfy the demands of God's justice and holiness on their own. And since no one is perfect, they can never fully satisfy God's demands for atonement and so spend all of eternity separated from Him.

    I think you're not seeing the great evil of your father's rebellion toward his Maker. His atheism was a terribly wicked thing. He wasn't just a nice man who got a few of his beliefs wrong. The Bible says it is the fool who has said in his heart, "There is no God." (Ps. 14:1) It says that those who have rejected God's atoning work through Christ, "trample underfoot the Son of God, and have counted Christ's shed blood an unholy thing, and have done despite unto the Spirit of grace." (He. 10:29) The Bible says those who live in rebellion to God "suppress the truth in unrighteousness" and "worship and serve the creature more than the Creator." (Ro. 1:18, 25)
    These are terrible things of which any person who denies God and lives in rebellion to Him is guilty! And so it is that God judges in wrath those who do such things.

    Romans 2:4-9
    4 Or despise you the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?
    5 But after your hardness and impenitent heart you store up unto yourself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God;
    6 Who will render to every man according to his deeds:
    7 To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life:
    8 But unto them that are contentious, and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, indignation and wrath,
    9 Tribulation and anguish, upon every soul of man that does evil, of the Jew first, and also of the Gentile;


    It's not that you can't think differently, it's that you won't. I understand why, though. There is a huge emotional and relational hurdle you must get over before you can acknowledge what the Bible says. The truth, though, doesn't cater to your familial fidelity. It is quite natural how you feel, but it doesn't change the truth of every man's desperate need of a Saviour.

    You think too little of God. There will be no tears shed over the perfect justice of God we will see enacted at the Final Judgment. The God of the Universe will do right. And when we see Him do so, however severely, we will praise Him, not weep.
     
  13. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    You're mad, Aiki. You're not a man of God who is love. You're just some judge. I need help and not your terror visions. You have no idea about mercy and grace. Jesus Christ died so that we would be forgiven. My dad's silly unbelief doesn't deny the cross, it works without his cooperation. Do you think God wants to build his throne over a mountain of burning corpses? You live in the medievals, man. I know there can be punishment for my dad's sin, but that doesn't mean a fiery concentration camp but instead showing right and wrong to my father and convincing him of his unrighteousness. Shame can feel like burning. Jesus warned about hell, but that meant this life here which is hell if there is no belief and love and mercy. Be merciful as God is merciful. Your words remind me to what a murderer thinks, if they don't take my way they must all die. Sorry, but I want to be a man of God who is not partial to christians. I know you can be kind, but this post was a slap in the face of my suffering. How do you think I can do what you say? How can I deny the love of my father? I nursed him in his last days and after his death my sister got dreams of seeing dad in a garden telling her to hope instead of despairing. I have my proofs. You, Sir, reject the cross of Christ!
     
  14. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    I know you have a deep affection for your family. I think its lovely that you do. And I see very clearly how it blinds you to the truth. There's nothing I can do about that.

    I don't mean to give you "terror visions", only the truth. The truth, you see, even when it is very hard, can set us free (if we accept it).

    I know as much about God's mercy and grace as any man. I have been the undeserving recipient of it every moment of my life. I deserve judgment and death but God gives me life and love instead. Amazing. Staggering, really. And a complete mystery to me. I know how vile I am, and so does my Maker. Yet, He loves me anyway. How great and good He is!

    Does God want to build His kingdom over a mountain of corpses? No. He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked. But as the verses I cited to you indicate, God will judge the wicked in holy wrath. This doesn't make God a monster; it makes Him just and right. That's good, isn't it?

    I understand that your father is a very raw spot for you. I'm not trying to jab and scrape at the wound of his death. I am trying to explain the truth of God's word because, as I said, what we choose to believe has eternal consequences.

    I'll keep praying for you.
     
  15. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    I'm not sure how you can keep this up. Love means we not just think of ourselves. But some think, God loves them and not the others. I can't do this. Whenever I think God is loving me, I also think God loves my neighbor too. Same for the cross. As a christian I am a neighbor to atheists, muslims, fools, saints, sinners, etc. In the parable of the dishonest manager, Jesus explains that we need to stay away from tallying a record of sins and instead talk it down and cover it with love to find salvation in the Heavens.
     
  16. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    I certainly believe what the Bible says: For God so loved the World. But to love the World in a holy and just way, which God must do if He is to be a holy and just God, requires that His love not turn a blind eye to sin. Imagine a judge saying to a man just convicted of murder, "Hey, don't worry about it! I'm just going to forget you ever murdered anyone! All is forgiven! You're free to go!" There would be a huge uproar. No one would say justice had been done. What of those whose loved one had been murdered? What of justice for the one who'd been murdered? A judge who just swept the murderer's crime under the rug would be a terribly evil and unjust judge. What more of God were He to simply set aside, unpunished, the evil men have done. He would be an enormously evil and unjust God! So, God loves the World because He is a loving God but He will judge and punish the World because He is also a holy and just God. Were this not true of God, He would not be God.
     
  17. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    But my dad was not a murderer like Paul was and like Jesus' killers were. But God forgave them in Christ even when they did not believe in Jesus. Justice doesn't mean that God HAS to punish. That is the human thirst for revenge, but God has higher thoughts. Moreover, after death we have quitted sinning, Paul says that. You do not understand that God IS love and to love a sinner is not beyond him. That's not on our repentance. Life is trial and error until we understand, so we also try sin. There is punishment, but there needn't be cruel punishment, eye for an eye has been changed to love for the enemy, and when God tells us to love our enemies he can do the same. You're lost in the Law of Sin and Death, man. Christ stands for a higher law, and that's also why we must suffer like him. I'd prefer to suffer my dad's atheism than to let him get punished for it. Love covers sin and atheism is foolishness, not wickedness. Would you punish a dog for not knowing how to count numbers? Likewise my dad didn't know how to put faith in Christ, and with people like you judging left and right and mistaking unbelief for being as bad as murder, I couldn't have faith too. Sorry, but what you say seems extra wicked to me. You've dug up the law of sin and death again and that only makes people rebellious because sin comes to life. You do not understand this.
     
  18. longwait

    longwait Well-Known Member

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    I wrote down several Bible verses on paper and take them all out whenever I can and read them. I have noticed that Bible verses have a power to help me overcome my struggles. Any area I struggle in, the Word helps me overcome in that area. You can also try it. Why are you scared of the Bible. Its the demons who are planting fearful thoughts of the Bible in you. Don't believe them.
     
  19. lutherangerman

    lutherangerman Senior Member

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    I am feeling better. I have prayed much to the Holy Spirit and tried to remember him often. He has this light female presence that I notice, and I feel like He or She is always kind and knows my struggles and that's all normal to him and he doesn't mind to work on me. I feel warm and like I am wet inside. God is good and I do not doubt so much anymore. The Holy Spirit is stronger than the demons and apparently very protective. He destroys their disgusting work. I also feel more authentic as a christian, before today and yesterday I only prayed to Father and Jesus, not so much to the Holy Spirit, fearing obsessive blasphemies in my mind. But it's not so bad and I know it's from demons. God is a good Father and in the Holy Spirit I have his blessings too.
     
  20. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

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    I wasn't suggesting he was. But he was guilty of sin and so he stood under the condemnation of that sin.

    James 2:10
    10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

    And how do you know that, exactly? Jesus may have prayed for those who crucified him that his Father would forgive them, but nothing is said in Scripture about whether or not God did. We do have Jesus' comment about Judas, which does not indicate God forgave Judas his betrayal.

    Mark 14:18-21
    18 Now as they sat and ate, Jesus said, "Assuredly, I say to you, one of you who eats with Me will betray Me."
    19 And they began to be sorrowful, and to say to Him one by one, "Is it I?" And another said, "Is it I?"
    20 He answered and said to them, "It is one of the twelve, who dips with Me in the dish.
    21 The Son of Man indeed goes just as it is written of Him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had never been born."


    Yes, it does. And every sin you and I (and your father) have committed, Christ paid for on Calvary with his blood. God's forgiveness does not come cheap.

    Oh? The Bible disagrees with you:

    Hebrews 10:29-31
    29 Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace?
    30 For we know Him who said, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. And again, "The Lord will judge His people."
    31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.


    Romans 2:5-9
    5 But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,
    6 who "will render to each one according to his deeds":
    7 eternal life to those who by patient continuance in doing good seek for glory, honor, and immortality;
    8 but to those who are self-seeking and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness--indignation and wrath,
    9 tribulation and anguish, on every soul of man who does evil
    , of the Jew first and also of the Greek;

    But if a person has not confessed their sin to God, and received the life of the Saviour and submitted to him as Lord, that person faces God after death as an unrepentant sinner who is under the condemnation and wrath of his holy Maker. The stain of our sin follows us into eternity which is why it is so necessary to be cleansed of it now.

    Of course it's not beyond Him. As I've already said, "God so loved the World." But if a person lives their whole life on this planet with their back to God, He gives them in the next life what they wanted in this one: separation from Himself.

    Yes, it is. God does not force His love on anyone. If we don't choose to know and love Him and to walk in humble submission to Him, we are the enemies of God and, as the verse above make very plain, on a terrible collision course with His holy wrath.

    Yes, God loves His enemies - to a point. As Scripture makes very clear, God will judge each man according to his deeds. Those who have lived in rebellion to their Maker, guilty of an unrepentant life of sin, will face Him as their terrible Judge on the other side of death. God does not desire this end for anyone, and though He had no obligation to do so, He made a way for any who would be saved from their sin to be saved. In this we see the astounding love of God. But God's love is holy and just and cannot turn a blind eye to sin. So, we see a God who would be our Heavenly Father if we so choose, but who will be our righteous and wrathful Judge if we do not.

    No, I'm standing squarely on the truth of God's word. It is you, sadly, who has taken on a contorted view of God and no longer see Him as He really is. This is not only sad but very dangerous, too.

    But you aren't God. What you might suffer in your Dad is not necessarily what God would put up with in him. See the verses above.

    We ought in love to "cover" sin, but our responsibilities for dealing with sin and God's are very different. God is the Final Authority, the Last Seat of Judgment, on sin. We are not. God has a responsibility to enact justice and to punish sin that no human possesses. And so, where we might overlook the sin in another, God cannot. He exposes and judges sin; He does not sweep it under the rug.

    Your Dad was no dog. And Scripture tells us that every man has some sense of God's existence that he suppresses in unrighteousness. (Romans 1:18) As a consequence, no man can stand before God and claim he had no idea God even existed. The Bible also calls unbelief an "evil" that angers God. (Hebrews 3:12) Your father's atheism, then, wasn't some harmless turn of mind but a rejection of the One who gave him life and breath and all the good things he enjoyed while he was on this planet. Your Dad rejected God Almighty, which rejection is at the heart of every sin. Whatever you might think, nothing is worse, in the end, than this. And this is why God punishes such rejection and rebellion with eternal separation from Himself.

    If what I have told you is "wicked," then the Bible itself is wicked; for all I have said to you is found in its pages. You want to lessen sin, to make it harmless and insignificant, but God won't go along. He hates sin and will judge it severely if we don't confess and repent of it, and yield our lives to Him.
     
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