I Have a Right to Promulgate My Children's Fvorable Consideration!

[Monksailor]

Do we, really? Have you ever been in a group of people like a parent of a child or the child themselves on a sports team, in a Scout Den or Pack or even in a Youth Group at church and experienced the leader giving repeatedly favorable considerations to their child? Such behavior is surely not limited to being exercised for children. Adults do it for other adults all the time. This kind of behavior is known as FAVORITISM and it is a sin. Some leaders of such groups will avoid ever giving their child a favorable consideration due to the call to not even have the appearance of evil from the Scriptures. It can have painful repercussions between a parent and a child, possibly for a lifetime, due to that child seeing and experiencing such behavior so rampant by their peer's parents that it is expected and assumed and when this child's parent obeys God and doesn't sin against God in such a way they misunderstand it as rejection even though the parent senses their discouragement and tries to explain his or her actions in contrast to their child's peer's parent's wrongful actions. I think so many children (adults) think that if the majority do it, it must be the right thing to do. Explanations such as how Noah was looked upon by the majority and in the end who really was right do not take root or blow right through both ears of those who are very concerned about "fitting in" with their peers and who are living in a very hostile environment to the Biblical Christian perspective. With social media so prevalent in our young people's lives and news feeds and mass media and Hollywood all primarily perpetuating a worldly, anti-Christ, behavior profile and this mass or popular perspective becoming even more significant in our American culture it is harder for our youth and young adults to deviate from this social norm. But dear child or adult, rest assured, Favoritism IS a sin and if you are interested in doing what and being where God, the Father, wants you search, and study, and pray for the revelation of His Will and you WILL end up right where He wants you in time and you will experience blessings beyond that of which any favoritism might have provided.

 

[Dave-W]

Isn't that the attitude that got Lori Loughlin and her peers in big trouble over college admissions?

 

[tall73]

I think I understand your point, but am not sure.

In any case, it is a fine line. Favoritism would be treating your child differently. Ideally if you are a leader you would encourage each of the children realistically at times, and point out needs realistically at times. If there is some advantage given out you would distribute it between all. If you withhold any of these from your child to avoid being charged with favoritism then that is in itself changing your behavior because it is your child.

Sometimes you can overthink it. Just try to relate to all the children the best you can, including your child.

 

[bèlla]

Do we, really? Have you ever been in a group of people like a parent of a child or the child themselves on a sports team, in a Scout Den or Pack or even in a Youth Group at church and experienced the leader giving repeatedly favorable considerations to their child?

I haven’t experienced this personally. However, measures were established to address inappropriate behavior by parents. My daughter participated in gymnastics, tennis, golf and crew. Most parents were not around during lessons. Only events.

However, due to the verbal abuses many levied towards their children and others in some instances. We were not permitted to remain during tennis lessons at all.

I think it’s obvious we’d have a natural bias towards our offspring. And I believe we should give credit where due. Whether it falls to our children or to someone else. Balance is important.

The notion of ignoring my daughter’s performance in fear of outside opinion is unfathomable. My ability to call attention to everyone and give a hearty well done is the example I wish to impart.

As an adult, we address this subject from the perspective of holy favor from God which He renders on our behalf through others. But our application is the result of a godly walk and adherence to His will. In every instance we retain the understanding that grace undergirds its presence.

In this way, when we experience favorable treatment we omit the ego’s growth by rendering its appearance to Him not ourselves.

 

[Monksailor]

I think that I need to define FAVORITISM. First of all, it is NOT rendering encouragement or credit where due. Hopefully, we are biased for our children in a healthy manner; not over-protecting or shielding from the consequences of their actions or telling them that they are superior at a given task when they aren't even average and impulsively attacking teachers or other leaders of our children when they have a problem with our children and so on.

FAVORITISM:
"unfair support shown to one person or group, esp. by someone in authority:
The teacher was careful not to show favoritism to any one student."
FROM: FAVORITISM | definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary

In sports I (and my son) have seen parents as coaches of one-on-one matches consistently match their son/daughter against a sure win or hammer the coach to do so with extreme pressure. I have seen in Scouts a father in a position of high authority take it upon himself to usurp himself into a subordinate's position of weighing the race cars so that he could weigh his nephew's car (which everyone suspected of being overweight) and it WAS the car that won. In church I have seen sons/daughters of high-ranking people in the church consistently put into positions of authority even though there were several other ripe candidates. In school I have seen teachers consistently and exclusively select just a handful of students to answer questions from or take comments from even though there were consistently many more students who had their hand up. In hiring and firing I have seen much less qualified than their competitors hired and I have seen much more qualified and even tenured employees fired or laid off instead of what should had fairly happened. How many times have parents seen the wrong child get disciplined at school because the bad child happen to be the child of the principal or other important official? How many have experienced someone exercising their authority to give unfair support of another in order to hopefully reap benefits from it? This is what I am talking about. Politics as practiced today could not exist w/o favoritism, IMO.

FAVORITISM and the BIBLE:

• James 2:9
  
• Romans 2:11
• 1 Timothy 5:21
• James 2:1

Regarding avoiding behavior which could be seen as evil being "overthinking" matters; allow me to refer you to Romans 14:19-21. According to someone here, the Apostle Paul who wrote half of the NT was REALLY and incredible "over-thinker." I think NOT.