I have a question and need insight on something...

[princess34]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

 

[Jeshu]

It looks like your boyfriend is only looking skin deep and on the other side of the fence. A dangerous habit such can surely be.

i be trying to find out how deep His love for Jesus is, before i proceed, otherwise you will almost certainly get problems down the road.

 

[andreha]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

Hi there, sister

This, for me, would be a serious problem. As someone who's been married for over 20 years, to my one and only first love, this would be a clear indicator that he is always looking at other women, with intentions, that, at least, would allow the enemy to destroy your relationship. He needs to understand this and decide if he really is prepared to stay by your side and be faithful, or allow the enemy to use him as a puppet of destruction. That's my 2c worth...

 

[andreha]

It looks like your boyfriend is only looking skin deep and on the other side of the fence. A dangerous habit such can surely be.

i be trying to find out how deep His love for Jesus is, before i proceed, otherwise you will almost certainly get problems down the road.

^^^That. Looks and youth fade away. True love is what remains.

 

[FineAndFaith]

Hello princess34,

I would suggest you to find the right time and ask your friend the questions. I would recommend him to imagine the situation inversely: you comment on how other men look like, how they are brave, intelligent, self-sufficient etc. How does he feel in this situation?

 

[andreha]

Another thought...

That guy sounds like a typical male. (Yes, I'm also a male) Males in general (IMHO) are quite a bit less sensitive than females. This causes all sorts of issues. And in this case, this guy is blissfully unaware of the constant hurt that he causes. You are likely to have a very long upward battle in educating this guy. Yes, I have been married for 22 years, and only now have started to see the light...

 

[Aussie Pete]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks". I'd be praying about this big time. My warning bells would be going off. If he can't accept you as you are, there is a problem that can only get worse.

I prefer to do the opposite. When a lady friend tells me how beautiful another woman is, I respond by saying something like "not as pretty as you". I'm not in a relationship. I prefer peace to strife! Everyone is beautiful in some way or other.

 

[Anhelyna]

@princess34

It seems to me that you are really needing advice on this situation and this area [ Introduce yourself ] is not intended for this.

I've asked Staff if the thread could be moved to the Christian Advice section where you will be able to get better advice as to how to handle the situation

Anhelyna - Senior Ambassador Member

 

[A_Thinker]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

I would tell him that he needs to be focused on me ... not anyone else.

If he can't respect your feelings on that, he's probably not the one for you ...

 

[Aussie Pete]

Another thought...

That guy sounds like a typical male. (Yes, I'm also a male) Males in general (IMHO) are quite a bit less sensitive than females. This causes all sorts of issues. And in this case, this guy is blissfully unaware of the constant hurt that he causes. You are likely to have a very long upward battle in educating this guy. Yes, I have been married for 22 years, and only now have started to see the light...

You are right. Maybe someone needs to take this guy aside and tell him that he needs some attitude adjustment. It has to start sometime, sooner the better.

I recommend Mark Gungor for those who are thinking of marriage or who want to improve their relationship. It's best to watch it together. He is genuinely hilarious also.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

I hope I am not too harsh in saying this, but: If you are looking for a serious Christian relationship then this guy seems all wrong. He seems too attraction-focused. Find a man who is more interested in your heart than a woman's appearance.

 

[Joy]

MOD HAT ON

This Thread has Moved

From Introduce Yourself
To Requests for Christian Advice

MOD HAT OFF​

 

[CMDRExorcist]

I would suggest that you express your concerns to him. How he reacts to knowing that it affects you this way will tell you all that you need to know about whether he's good for you or not. Just my $0.02.

Blessings,
Ex

 

[Tolworth John]

What do you all think about this?

Best advice I can give is to ask him why he does this and does he know how insecure it makes you?

Every male looks at other women, admires them and if not watching their thourghts lusts after them.

Either this guy is thick or he has no intention of being faithful to you.

So as others have adviced check out his involvement in his church, challenge him about his vission for how the two of you will serve Christ.

If he has no explanation dump him.

 

[BNR32FAN]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

I’ve done this a couple times with my wife. I guess it depends on the emphasis he puts on it and maybe how often he says it. To say a person is pretty or beautiful isn’t disrespectful as long as he’s not overemphasizing it. My wife tells me that Dewayne Johnson and Ryan Reynolds are handsome and I don’t think too much about it.

 

[Albion]

I'd call it insensitive of him, but he probably doesn't realize it. Have you told him that you don't appreciate such comments, even if they are not meant to be provocative?

 

[aiki]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

I wonder why, as a Christian woman, you're romantically-involved with a divorcee. To marry this fellow would mean you are an adulterer, according to Scripture.

Matthew 19:9
9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

You are, perhaps, seeing, in your boyfriend's disrespectful remarks to you about the beauty of other women, a part of why he is divorced. He may think these things, but expressing them to you serves what purpose, exactly? It seems intended to make you insecure about yourself and your relationship to your boyfriend. This sort of manipulation is common to hyper-narcissists and is done to bring a person under the narcissist's control. I may be misreading things here, having only your side of the story; your boyfriend may just be unthinking, unable to put himself in your shoes and see himself from your perspective. This, too, though, makes him a very poor marriage prospect.

 

[anna ~ grace]

Hello all. So I have a question. Is it okay for someone to be in a relationship with a guy who often talks about how beautiful other women are? So, he may say that he saw a woman somewhere and comment on how nice she looked. Also, he told me that he was watching a movie with this actress who he said "looks good" and then he mentioned that his ex-wife looks like the actress. What do you all think about this? I would really appreciate the insight. Thanks all.

I wouldn’t marry thus guy. He has an ex-wife, and there’s a good chance your marriage to him may not be valid, anyway. I would wait for a guy who doesn’t have that kind of past, or baggage, who shares your values, and faith in Christ.

 

[Deade]

Hello Princess, welcome to CF.

I hope you'll enjoy your stay here.

 

[splish- splash]

Have you ever given him a reason to doubt your love for him?