I have a daughter..

[t4inted-]

I’m 25 and I have a 7 year old daughter me and the mother are not together anymore for a few years now. We weren’t married.. and I have problems with myself being a “dad”.
and by problems I mean I never really grew up with a father and I do not really know how to be a dad.. and I do try my best to be a dad.. but I feel I fail..
because I’m not really involved in her life as much as I would like to be a part of her life.
I do hear from her mom at times of her asking about her dad so it would warm my heart knowing that my daughter does care about her dad..

But I hardly visit her about 2 or 3 times a month.. it doesn’t seem like I’m really spending time with her when I see her and I would be discouraged and condemn myself at times because I think I am no good.. I mean one thing I want to give my daughter is for
her to have her dad in her life in the past I was so set on making that a reality.. but the times I do see her discourage me because I know nothing about being a father..and I would seem to just drift away...from seeing her.

It’s still in my heart to be in her life I don’t want her to have no dad.. but this is challenging for me....

any support and advice on this?. I hope I typed this correctly if you understand ?

 

[Sabertooth]

Are you going to church anywhere?

See if you can get into a "men's" Bible study group. Promise-Keepers, perhaps?

Look for a divorced-parenting Bible study guide.

 

[t4inted-]

I’m not divorced ?. I never got married ??
but yea at my church there isn’t really much groups or even men’s group for that matter. There is a bible study group coming up at a Christian brothers place from church on the attributes of God..

 

[t4inted-]

Are you going to church anywhere?

See if you can get into a "men's" Bible study group. Promise-Keepers, perhaps?

Look for a divorced-parenting Bible study guide.

does the divorced parenting apply to me ?. I think I see

 

[Sabertooth]

does the divorced parenting apply to me ?

Yes, same dynamics.

 

[Sabertooth]

but yea at my church there isn’t really much groups or even men’s group for that matter. There is a bible study group coming up at a Christian brothers place from church on the attributes of God..

Check nearby churches.

• Vineyard
• Assembly of God
• Foursquare Church

 

[createdtoworship]

I’m not divorced ?. I never got married ??
but yea at my church there isn’t really much groups or even men’s group for that matter. There is a bible study group coming up at a Christian brothers place from church on the attributes of God..

the other poster offered some great churches, here is one I go to you can search out as well, it's non denomination (lightly pentecostal):

Calvary Chapel | Church Finder

 

[blackribbon]

You need to commit to getting to know your daughter and spending time with her on a minimum of a weekly basis. They need quantity time at this age. Commit to pay for one of her activities and be the parent that sits and watches the class...be it ballet, judo, swimming, or flute. Set up one night and time a week to call her. Ask her about her life and friends...specific questions may be needed at first. Make sure she has your number and can call you if she wants or needs her daddy. The primary thing a girl needs is someone to listen to her...I dont care how boring or childish her conversation seems. She is a child and if she is talking about it, it is important to her. And every girl needs to believe her dad loves her and finds her special. It really isnt that hard to win her love but you have to commit and be there. This also may mean supporting her mother...taking your daughter so she can have adult time with her friends or even dates. Raising a child alone is hard and helping her mother be a healthy mother is giving a gift to your daughter. You dont have to know how to be a dad...you daughter will tell you what she needs IF you listen and IF you are present to hear her and know her body language. Good luck, Dad. It may be difficult initially but it will be totally worth the effort.

 

[createdtoworship]

You need to commit to getting to know your daughter and spending time with her on a minimum of a weekly basis. They need quantity time at this age. Commit to pay for one of her activities and be the parent that sits and watches the class...be it ballet, judo, swimming, or flute. Set up one night and time a week to call her. Ask her about her life and friends...specific questions may be needed at first. Make sure she has your number and can call you if she wants or needs her daddy. The primary thing a girl needs is someone to listen to her...I dont care how boring or childish her conversation seems. She is a child and if she is talking about it, it is important to her. And every girl needs to believe her dad loves her and finds her special. It really isnt that hard to win her love but you have to commit and be there. This also may mean supporting her mother...taking your daughter so she can have adult time with her friends or even dates. Raising a child alone is hard and helping her mother be a healthy mother is giving a gift to your daughter. You dont have to know how to be a dad...you daughter will tell you what she needs IF you listen and IF you are present to hear her and know her body language. Good luck, Dad. It may be difficult initially but it will be totally worth the effort.

I drop off my daughter at ballet and it's usually cold outside in the car so I go in and watch her little classes (it's boring to me), but she enjoys it. I think she likes that I come in and watch her on the TV monitors. Children secretly want their parents to be proud of them, to gawk at them. If they don't get that attention from mom and dad they will seek it from unhealthy sources.

 

[JAMIE MCNEILL]

I’m 25 and I have a 7 year old daughter me and the mother are not together anymore for a few years now. We weren’t married.. and I have problems with myself being a “dad”.
and by problems I mean I never really grew up with a father and I do not really know how to be a dad.. and I do try my best to be a dad.. but I feel I fail..
because I’m not really involved in her life as much as I would like to be a part of her life.
I do hear from her mom at times of her asking about her dad so it would warm my heart knowing that my daughter does care about her dad..

But I hardly visit her about 2 or 3 times a month.. it doesn’t seem like I’m really spending time with her when I see her and I would be discouraged and condemn myself at times because I think I am no good.. I mean one thing I want to give my daughter is for
her to have her dad in her life in the past I was so set on making that a reality.. but the times I do see her discourage me because I know nothing about being a father..and I would seem to just drift away...from seeing her.

It’s still in my heart to be in her life I don’t want her to have no dad.. but this is challenging for me....

any support and advice on this?. I hope I typed this correctly if you understand ?

Brother there is no manual on doing "parent". Making mistakes is easy. Doing things right is hard. It's the only way we all learn. For your daughter just being there is doing it right. She does not judge time. Time is not wrong my man. It never will be wrong. You can't mess up going for ice cream or going bowling even if you don't know how to bowl; guess what, she does not know how to either. You can look up the nearest zoo. You can go to the nearest library and check out books. The list is 100 miles long. Either way, she will look at the time you spent. One minute to a child is like 100 years. Trust me.