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Featured I hate someone everyone else loves

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by True Blu, Feb 14, 2017.

  1. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    I'm at the point I can't stand being around her.

    I thought she was okay when I first met her. But since she was my ex-boyfriends best friend at the time, I was stuck in the situation of always having to be around her.

    She was always demanding the attention of the group. And everyone would give it to her. Like, overly flattering her.

    She had a seemingly great life. Lots of friends, a close loving family, enough money to never worry about college or life, and yet she's always complaining. I hate the constant fishing for compliments. She'll leave the room dramatically saying something short and making it a point to sound irritated, while everyone just shrugs with the old "that's just her." I didn't care at first either.

    But back when this guy WAS my boyfriend, he was always being super affectionate with her. He would run away from me mid-conversation to run up to her and throw his arms around her back and say hi. My other friends noticed he treated her better, too. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why.

    She's always irritated at something. She always compliments what a wonderful person she is and how everyone must know. She's self-involved. And yet everyone loves her.

    I try to say hi to her when we pass by out and about in-between classes, and she either ignores me completely or says hi without so much as looking at me.

    I'm still friends with my ex, but now I refuse to be apart of that group. My ex always hangs out with her now. They go to baseball games together, road trips together, everything we never did. I can't say it doesn't hurt, but still. Her Snap Chat story is always centered around her bragging about something.

    I know jealously was a huge part of me disliking her, but I see a lot of qualities I wouldn't care for anyways. She's so fake and a crowd-follower. She likes to brag how innocent she is to everyone (she's a ministries major) and yet she listens to vulgar rap, cusses frequently, flips everyone off (for some reason everyone thinks its "cute"), and is in general kind of rude. I don't appreciate it.

    When I asked my boyfriend at the time, he told me to basically get over it because he likes her and if I don't like her then I can leave. There you go.

    Thoughts on dealing with someone you hate that everyone else likes? I know the bible says we should get along to the best of our ability, and my best has run out for her.
     
  2. SeventyOne

    SeventyOne Not my faulty.

    +1,295
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    Sounds like a time of separation from her (and the ex) would be a great solution. Be friendly, say hi, and then walk on by.

    I can't speak for anyone else, but when I look back on my life in particular, I've had different circles of friends depending on where I was and what I was doing at that point. Sometimes, it's just time to move on to other people. Not everyone is destined to be a life-long buddy.
     
  3. Journey.In.Grace

    Journey.In.Grace Daughter of the One True King

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    She doesn't sound like someone I would care to be around either. The best thing you can do for both yourself and for her is to pray. I know it is hard to follow the Bible's instructions to be kind to others and extend grace where it is needed, which is always, and to love our neighbors, but if we can follow those instructions to the best of our abilities we can sleep easier at night knowing that we have done what possibly could, and it is time to take the rest to the Lord. If you struggle in any of the above, pray about it. Irritation, jealousy, anything that is not the fruit of the Spirit, the best thing you can do is pray. God will guide you and ensure you are equipped with the proper fruits and tools to handle even someone who annoys you.
     
  4. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Be who you are
    You can't change anyone
     
  5. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Why are you still with this group? Were you friends prior to dating your boyfriend? Or did you become part of this group because you were dating this guy whom you are no longer dating?
     
  6. LoricaLady

    LoricaLady YHWH's

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    I would look for a new boyfriend. ASAP. Anyone saying "If you don't like her you can leave" should be...left! He seems to have no real attachment to you or loyalty to you. So, why do you need him? He is the problem in your life, far more than her.
     
  7. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    I met her because at one point we were both working the same job, and both quit at the same time. I would never have hung out with her on my own will. That was all because she was always with my former boyfriend.

    To make matters even better, she posted on her SC story that he gave her a rose for Valentines day. That got to me hard.
     
  8. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    All of that is so true. Although I know it's not looked well upon to jump right into another relationship. Being accused of rebounding was awful...

    But he was a jerk.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2017
  9. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    You met her first before you met your ex?
     
  10. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    No. I met my ex doing community service and we seemed to clique. During a lunch break when she and I worked together I saw him again sitting by himself. I invited him to the table. Immediately he and that girl hit it off. I made almost no conversation at all since she seemed to attract all the attention. That was before we dated. They met at the start of the school year, it's not like they are life-long friends.
     
  11. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    I am not understanding but it sounds like you knew her first?

    Let me mention what I think you are saying.

    You met him at a separate event
    You got along
    You did not talk or see him again until you and your girl friend from work were out to lunch and you saw him and invited him over to eat with you and her?
     
  12. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    You're in college?
     
  13. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    Yeah, exactly.
     
  14. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Are you in college
    And do you still work with this girl?
     
  15. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    Yes to the first, no to the second.
     
  16. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Do they both go to the same school as you do?
     
  17. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    And if you don't mind my asking, how old are you? And how long were you dating this guy?
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2017
  18. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    I'm glad you don't work with her anymore
    That's good...
     
  19. True Blu

    True Blu Member

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    I'm not seeing where any of this is going. But yes.
     
  20. miknik5

    miknik5 "Let not your heart be troubled"

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    Don't hang out with your ex anymore

    The longest you have possibly dated this guy is 5 months

    Find a different group of friends to be around

    I am sure you have met other people in your classes, ask to study together, use some academic situation to break the ice but move on

    This doesn't sound like a healthy group to be around
     
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