I Gave Up But He Never Gave In Part 2
- Thread starter Prosper4Him
- Start date
This is part two. (Sorry for the empty thread I created. I didn't know that I couldn't link to another thread until 50 post)
The sun begins to shine
After a lot more love and special attention, things got a lot better for me. We were all a happy family again. A few months had went by and the visitations had stopped. The night terrors started to dissipate and my life seemed to have more meaning and purpose. My sisters were fun to be around and they spoiled me with kisses and gifts. I was finally starting to be the little boy I should be. Moving on...
Court Session; Who's my mommy
To my demise, it was time to get all confused again... (Oh boy.....) Now I'm in this place with chairs, tables, and lots of people that I didn't know. Hmm, whats this?!?! I noticed that woman with the blonde hair! Who was she? Ahhh... the lady from visitation....
Apparently that woman was my mom. So after the noise settled, the judge asked me. Now son... who do you want to be your mommy? I didn't understand at first but I looked at the blonde and then at my new mom and ran towards her. The judge asked me if the woman I went to was my mommy and I said "yes". Everything was now settled and my life had resumed without further interruption. Moving on...
A few years later; 1st grade
Yep! I'm all grown up now, I have a cool lunchbox to prove it!
So now that I have my big boy pants on and have nearly learned how to tie my shoes, I'm ready for anything! School was fun! I was making friends and having fun on the playground. Digging up worms and stuffing dirt and God knows what else "In my pockets". Moving on...
Some year(s) later
Things were okay but at school, people made fun of me for being adopted and they told me that my mom didn't love me... At first I cried but as time went by, I started beating up the kids that made fun of me. I also demanded my parents to tell me what adoption was! (They told me but I didn't quite understand) Soon I learned that I had a newer friend but he wasn't really my friend. He bullied me and to make things worse, he was bigger and stronger than me. He'd beat me up every chance he got and nobody did anything about it! My parents told me not to fight no matter what happened. This bully made my life hell for at least 2 years. Beyond that, I had quite a few girls fight over me lol. That was kind of weird! They seemed to have taken turns in who got to play with me on the playground hahaha. Moving on...
Skipping several years; 13 years old and fed up
Alright. I'm still being bullied and now I'll fix'm!
The teachers wouldn't do anything, nor would my parents! Long story short, I put him through a wall. After seeing him with his head stuck in the wall, I knew he wouldn't be giving me anymore trouble but boy did I get into trouble! My dad beat my rear end! So with that being said, more questions were asked. I wanted to know why I was adopted? My parents seemed to avoid that one and it made me a very angry kid. For weeks I'd drill them about my adoption... even questioning them about if they were my real parents. The answer was always "Yes" but still, they were not telling the truth and that's what I've always been after. Moving on...
15 years old; rebellion
I finally got my parents to tell me the truth. They even told me that I had a brother. I lost all respect towards them. They've lied to e all these years and I've been very depressed for a long time wondering if I'd ever get the answers I was looking for. Now that I knew a little more, I wanted to meet my brother. At the time, I was a very good tennis player and played baseball too. My brother was too, well he played tennis but I was the pro lol. I got the chance to meet him. It was a very emotional time for the both of us. He actually had a photo album with pictures from when we were little. The album included pictures of our biological mom and dad and of me and him. I couldn't understand what I was seeing. I asked... Why did mom give us up? My brother promptly shut closed the album and said... "Because she didn't want us anymore!!" I asked... "Why? How would you know?" He said... "Well, we were adopted weren't we?" I got very upset and started to cry, so did my brother. I asked him for the picture album because I wanted to examine it further. He gave it to me and said to keep it so I did. Moving on...
More trouble; drugs & alcohol
After a few years had passed, I found myself turning to drugs and alcohol while hoping to escape reality. My parents had always blamed me for doing things I didn't do. There was no longer a solid foundation for communications. I lost interest in school, I dropped out of C.A.P even though I was the cadet commander of the squadron with extensive knowledge and training in search & rescue. I pushed my friends away and even started cutting myself. I hated who I was and felt that the world would be a better place without me. Nobody cared so why should I?
At the age of 18 I was smoking weed every day and I started smoking cigarettes and ventured into inappropriate contentography. I even learned to hack and was quite skilled at it. There wasn't a computer or website I couldn't gain access to and my Dad could tell you all about it lol. I was ultimately getting worse... my family even became afraid of me. That alone made me feel even worse. Moving on...
I was drug into church; boring...
My parents finally took the bull by the horns and made me go to church. I didn't want anything to do with church. God hated me! Or did he? Hell, I already felt convicted. I mean... how could God possibly love me? I was a nobody! A loser! People were afraid of me. Could God still love me? Would he forgive me? I couldn't forgive myself! or could I.... Moving on...
Something happened to me during the praise & worship service
I've had plenty of exposure to church in the past but I stopped going cause I felt that I was wasting God's time. This church service was very different than any experience I had before. One of my favorite songs that I love to sing just happened to be the opening song "Open the eyes of my heart Lord". Keep in mind that I was grumpy and high and didn't want to be in church...
Well, everyone was standing up but me. I was mad because my parents made me go to church! So my song was playing, the band was on point and I slowly began to mutter the words in my head. Suddenly, a few strange noises bellowed out of my mouth and before long, I was standing up and singing like I never sang before. My mom put her arm around me and I saw a tear fall from her face. It wasn't long before I have forgotten everything. For some odd reason I was filled with joy! I felt so free!
Moving on...
Again, something happened
So, after the sermon. The pastor asked if there was anyone that wanted to give their life over to the Lord... Umm, Yeah... (I'm watching my legs and feet as they begin to move on their own) It's kind of freaking me out but I couldn't control my body. Suddenly, I sprang up and started towards the alter. I remember feeling very happy and at peace and my pastor couldn't ask me fast enough if I wanted to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior... he got less than half of it out and I already answered with a big and confident smile on my face "Yes!... Yes pastor!... YES!"
That is a day I'll never EVER forget! I was baptized by water a week or two later and then baptized by fire "The Holy Ghost" around the age of 25-26.
Since then I've been through many trials and tribulation but God is very near at all times
The sun begins to shine
After a lot more love and special attention, things got a lot better for me. We were all a happy family again. A few months had went by and the visitations had stopped. The night terrors started to dissipate and my life seemed to have more meaning and purpose. My sisters were fun to be around and they spoiled me with kisses and gifts. I was finally starting to be the little boy I should be. Moving on...
Court Session; Who's my mommy
To my demise, it was time to get all confused again... (Oh boy.....) Now I'm in this place with chairs, tables, and lots of people that I didn't know. Hmm, whats this?!?! I noticed that woman with the blonde hair! Who was she? Ahhh... the lady from visitation....
Apparently that woman was my mom. So after the noise settled, the judge asked me. Now son... who do you want to be your mommy? I didn't understand at first but I looked at the blonde and then at my new mom and ran towards her. The judge asked me if the woman I went to was my mommy and I said "yes". Everything was now settled and my life had resumed without further interruption. Moving on...
A few years later; 1st grade
Yep! I'm all grown up now, I have a cool lunchbox to prove it!
So now that I have my big boy pants on and have nearly learned how to tie my shoes, I'm ready for anything! School was fun! I was making friends and having fun on the playground. Digging up worms and stuffing dirt and God knows what else "In my pockets". Moving on...
Some year(s) later
Things were okay but at school, people made fun of me for being adopted and they told me that my mom didn't love me... At first I cried but as time went by, I started beating up the kids that made fun of me. I also demanded my parents to tell me what adoption was! (They told me but I didn't quite understand) Soon I learned that I had a newer friend but he wasn't really my friend. He bullied me and to make things worse, he was bigger and stronger than me. He'd beat me up every chance he got and nobody did anything about it! My parents told me not to fight no matter what happened. This bully made my life hell for at least 2 years. Beyond that, I had quite a few girls fight over me lol. That was kind of weird! They seemed to have taken turns in who got to play with me on the playground hahaha. Moving on...
Skipping several years; 13 years old and fed up
Alright. I'm still being bullied and now I'll fix'm!
The teachers wouldn't do anything, nor would my parents! Long story short, I put him through a wall. After seeing him with his head stuck in the wall, I knew he wouldn't be giving me anymore trouble but boy did I get into trouble! My dad beat my rear end! So with that being said, more questions were asked. I wanted to know why I was adopted? My parents seemed to avoid that one and it made me a very angry kid. For weeks I'd drill them about my adoption... even questioning them about if they were my real parents. The answer was always "Yes" but still, they were not telling the truth and that's what I've always been after. Moving on...
15 years old; rebellion
I finally got my parents to tell me the truth. They even told me that I had a brother. I lost all respect towards them. They've lied to e all these years and I've been very depressed for a long time wondering if I'd ever get the answers I was looking for. Now that I knew a little more, I wanted to meet my brother. At the time, I was a very good tennis player and played baseball too. My brother was too, well he played tennis but I was the pro lol. I got the chance to meet him. It was a very emotional time for the both of us. He actually had a photo album with pictures from when we were little. The album included pictures of our biological mom and dad and of me and him. I couldn't understand what I was seeing. I asked... Why did mom give us up? My brother promptly shut closed the album and said... "Because she didn't want us anymore!!" I asked... "Why? How would you know?" He said... "Well, we were adopted weren't we?" I got very upset and started to cry, so did my brother. I asked him for the picture album because I wanted to examine it further. He gave it to me and said to keep it so I did. Moving on...
More trouble; drugs & alcohol
After a few years had passed, I found myself turning to drugs and alcohol while hoping to escape reality. My parents had always blamed me for doing things I didn't do. There was no longer a solid foundation for communications. I lost interest in school, I dropped out of C.A.P even though I was the cadet commander of the squadron with extensive knowledge and training in search & rescue. I pushed my friends away and even started cutting myself. I hated who I was and felt that the world would be a better place without me. Nobody cared so why should I?
At the age of 18 I was smoking weed every day and I started smoking cigarettes and ventured into inappropriate contentography. I even learned to hack and was quite skilled at it. There wasn't a computer or website I couldn't gain access to and my Dad could tell you all about it lol. I was ultimately getting worse... my family even became afraid of me. That alone made me feel even worse. Moving on...
I was drug into church; boring...
My parents finally took the bull by the horns and made me go to church. I didn't want anything to do with church. God hated me! Or did he? Hell, I already felt convicted. I mean... how could God possibly love me? I was a nobody! A loser! People were afraid of me. Could God still love me? Would he forgive me? I couldn't forgive myself! or could I.... Moving on...
Something happened to me during the praise & worship service
I've had plenty of exposure to church in the past but I stopped going cause I felt that I was wasting God's time. This church service was very different than any experience I had before. One of my favorite songs that I love to sing just happened to be the opening song "Open the eyes of my heart Lord". Keep in mind that I was grumpy and high and didn't want to be in church...
Well, everyone was standing up but me. I was mad because my parents made me go to church! So my song was playing, the band was on point and I slowly began to mutter the words in my head. Suddenly, a few strange noises bellowed out of my mouth and before long, I was standing up and singing like I never sang before. My mom put her arm around me and I saw a tear fall from her face. It wasn't long before I have forgotten everything. For some odd reason I was filled with joy! I felt so free!
Moving on...
Again, something happened
So, after the sermon. The pastor asked if there was anyone that wanted to give their life over to the Lord... Umm, Yeah... (I'm watching my legs and feet as they begin to move on their own) It's kind of freaking me out but I couldn't control my body. Suddenly, I sprang up and started towards the alter. I remember feeling very happy and at peace and my pastor couldn't ask me fast enough if I wanted to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior... he got less than half of it out and I already answered with a big and confident smile on my face "Yes!... Yes pastor!... YES!"
That is a day I'll never EVER forget! I was baptized by water a week or two later and then baptized by fire "The Holy Ghost" around the age of 25-26.
Since then I've been through many trials and tribulation but God is very near at all times
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