I feel very hopeless at this point in my life, with no way of improving it.

LonelyAdams

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.
 

com7fy8

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With God, you can make good use of time by yourself. And this can help to prepare you for having friends and affection!

Be quiet, trust God. Do not let nasty and negative and tormenting things make you afraid of being quiet. That is a trick, a dirty trick, to keep you from becoming quiet and peaceful - - - in sharing with God, of course. So, trust Him to bring you to share with Him, then to prepare you for the good He desires for you in social life.

And when you get close to someone, this will be impossible unless you have been learning how to love. And there is plenty in the Bible about how to relate in love.

So . . . have you been investing in what the Bible says about how to relate? If you are alone, now, you have time to do this. Plus, of course, we do not learn only by ourselves but in real life with others.
 
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rhomphaeam

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.

Bless you mate. I would give you a brotherly hug if it were possible. My youngest son is in his late 20's and he's still not found the right lass. In fact he hasn't found any lass ever. I sometimes wonder how he is - he still lives with my wife and myself - so I invade his rooms and demand a great big hug. I also ask him if he wants me to arrange a wife for him - and he can't answer me because he knows I would and could. Marriage or else love between men and women is the most simple thing to find and the last thing to look for. You may find that another cultural has the answer. Scrub up - chin up and eyes forward - that way you'll not miss her when she comes into sight. God Bless.
 
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Mark Quayle

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.
Read Paul.
 
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LonelyAdams

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In a somewhat similar situation to you.

Why is it you aren't married yet? What is it that your doing that has resulted in your current life course?


Its a long story, when I was younger I struggled socially, I also had quite a bit of health issues. Now that I'm older I don't struggle the same way socially but the health issues have continued off and on for years. I finally finished college at 27 and have had trouble finding a job due to a combination of my health problems flairing up again and covid messing up the job market.
 
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Ignatius the Kiwi

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Its a long story, when I was younger I struggled socially, I also had quite a bit of health issues. Now that I'm older I don't struggle the same way socially but the health issues have continued off and on for years. I finally finished college at 27 and have had trouble finding a job due to a combination of my health problems flairing up again and covid messing up the job market.
You've done better than I to get a college degree. When you say you struggle socially, does this mean you don't seek out women for dating or forming friendships with that could lead to marriage? What exactly are you doing to make marriage more likely?
 
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snugglemantis

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Some perspective for you. I'm 33. I've been single for 7 years and I know what it's like to be lonely. About 6 years ago I asked God for a clear answer if I was ever going to get married. I got a clear "no". I was extremely upset and even a bit angry with God. I shortly thereafter found the passage where Jesus said "it is good not to marry, like me" but it brought me no comfort. Over the last few years however, the Lord has shown me over and over again that getting married isn't all it's cracked up to be. When young people think of marriage, lifelong companionship is the first thing that usually comes to mind, but i've heard countless stories of cheating and divorce in couples that were supposedly meant to be together forever. Even many Christian couples go through this. It's very common for married couples to fall out of love as well. And then your stuck in a miserable loveless marriage since Christians can't (or at least shouldn't remarry). Is it worth the risk? That's for you to decide, but for me...it isn't. I know I wouldn't be able to handle a broken marriage and I don't want to put myself in that position. Marriage is good when it works but outright painful when it doesn't. I've slowly come to terms with what the Lord had to tell me about my future.
 
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Lost4words

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Trust in Jesus.

Offer up your thoughts, problems and sufferings to God. Lay them all at His feet.

You are not alone in carrying your cross. No. Jesus is indeed carrying you, helping bear the weight.

God bless you and may He guide you and provide for you in life that which will give you peace and happiness.
 
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com7fy8

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I don't have the funds or health to move.
"But those who seek the LORD shall not lack any good thing." (in Psalm 34:10)

So, right where you are, you can share with God and discover how He blesses you.

"You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;" (in Psalm 23:5)

In the presence of any enemy, then, we can have all that our Father shares with us, of His own table prepared before us.

I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.
Well, with Jesus we aren't going to stay the way we are . . . anyway. And if you become gentle and humble like Jesus, they did not understand Him, did they?

Honestly I just wish I had a friend I could be 100% myself with, where I didn't have to feel like i was something I'm not.
You can be humble and gentle :)

And then you will discover how you and someone else are attracted to each other in God's gentle and quiet and humble loving.

But love and have compassion for those who do not know how to love you. Be their example, to help them find out how to love. There are ones who do not love you, because they do not know how to love; it's not about you, then.

But whether you love them or not is about you.

"And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved." (2 Corinthians 12:15)
 
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Psalm 27

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.
Me too, and I’m married! If that helps
 
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Maria Billingsley

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.
Welcome to CF. Many of us on this forum share similarities. I hope you find a family of friends here! When you are ready and healthy to venture out , I am sure you will find many opportunities to hug , be hugged and find a partner for life. You are still very young. Blessings.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.

Psa 37:3-5 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

God's word is his promise, as we follow after him, he will give us our hearts desires.

I would also say if you are looking for a wife, you need to be active, go to a Christian dating website, or something similar, where there are other singles looking to connect.

I found my now wife on one such site, we are now happily married, and have been for over 10 years.
 
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Brenda Blakely

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I always thought I would be married by now, and while i have no desire to rush into anything I feel I won't ever find someone. I don't really fit in culturally where I live despite having always lived here, but I don't have the funds or health to move. I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.
Dear lonelyadams,

God bless you, sometimes we have to get to the point where we are "tired" for God to show us the way. You say it would “be easier with a wife.” This may not be true. I suggest that you read the book “Ready to Wed.” It may be helpful in understanding what God is doing in you right now. When God “makes the two one,” both spouses have to be ready or at least willing to become what it takes to “become one” with another human being.

Marriage is such a lovely and wonderful part of the life for those whom God has called to be married. God uses married people to carry on His Kingdom, many times by bringing children into the world and preparing them to further the Kingdom of God.

The best thing you can do right now is to find out what God has planned for you to do right at this moment. He knows the desires of your heart. He knows the hope that is within you. He cares and He will provide and make a way when you are ready and willing. Here is a number-855 382 5433-you can call for resources to help you in your growth and maturing.

Prepare yourself now to be the person God will use to serve. Be ready for whatever God has planned. This means spending time in preparation by reading His word the Bible and studying it to “show yourself approved rightly dividing the Word of God (I Timothy 2:15).“ Spend time praying and don’t forget the listening part of praying. Spend time seeking God and His purposes, fellowship with other like-minded believers and learn to hear and discern the voice of God.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Determine to live it in the will of God and you can’t go wrong. I am praying for you. God bless you.
 
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MikeinSeattle

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Some perspective for you. I'm 33. I've been single for 7 years and I know what it's like to be lonely. About 6 years ago I asked God for a clear answer if I was ever going to get married. I got a clear "no". I was extremely upset and even a bit angry with God. I shortly thereafter found the passage where Jesus said "it is good not to marry, like me" but it brought me no comfort. Over the last few years however, the Lord has shown me over and over again that getting married isn't all it's cracked up to be. When young people think of marriage, lifelong companionship is the first thing that usually comes to mind, but i've heard countless stories of cheating and divorce in couples that were supposedly meant to be together forever. Even many Christian couples go through this. It's very common for married couples to fall out of love as well. And then your stuck in a miserable loveless marriage since Christians can't (or at least shouldn't remarry). Is it worth the risk? That's for you to decide, but for me...it isn't. I know I wouldn't be able to handle a broken marriage and I don't want to put myself in that position. Marriage is good when it works but outright painful when it doesn't. I've slowly come to terms with what the Lord had to tell me about my future.

I would recommend you read the book "impressions" by martin wells knap. It talks about how that the evil one can easily speak to us when we pray asking for Gods direction and impersonate God and get us to believe that his word is actually from God. I personally receive 2 opposite answers from the "God" every time I pray about something. And usually the only way I can tell which one is from God is from careful study of the scripture. And usually the one that is in line with scripture comes long after the ones that do not align with scripture.

Jesus repeatedly told religious people "have you never read ..." He expects us to know the bible. And there is a price to pay if we dont.

I think if you will study the scriptures on the subject of marriage you will find that not only is it a very good thing when done biblically but the power to do it biblicaly is more than available to us as we rely on God for the grace we need.
 
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Macchiato

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Some perspective for you. I'm 33. I've been single for 7 years and I know what it's like to be lonely. About 6 years ago I asked God for a clear answer if I was ever going to get married. I got a clear "no". I was extremely upset and even a bit angry with God. I shortly thereafter found the passage where Jesus said "it is good not to marry, like me" but it brought me no comfort. Over the last few years however, the Lord has shown me over and over again that getting married isn't all it's cracked up to be. When young people think of marriage, lifelong companionship is the first thing that usually comes to mind, but i've heard countless stories of cheating and divorce in couples that were supposedly meant to be together forever. Even many Christian couples go through this. It's very common for married couples to fall out of love as well. And then your stuck in a miserable loveless marriage since Christians can't (or at least shouldn't remarry). Is it worth the risk? That's for you to decide, but for me...it isn't. I know I wouldn't be able to handle a broken marriage and I don't want to put myself in that position. Marriage is good when it works but outright painful when it doesn't. I've slowly come to terms with what the Lord had to tell me about my future.
After meeting toxic men. Id rather be alone forever than be in a crappy marriage. Being alone is so freeing. How did the Lord tell you no?
 
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aiki

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So, I'm not really sure what I'm writting here so bear with me. I'm really struggling in my life. I'm in my late 20's and struggling to work due to health problems. I'm also really struggling with isolation. I'm sociable but I don't have many friends, and even fewer of faith. However that I can handle alright. Whats frustrating is my lack of a love life.

I'm not a young man anymore, but I understand the strain of a weakened body interfering with gainful employment. And when I was your age, I was a very isolated person. Oh, I had plenty of acquaintances and friends of circumstance - you know, those people you interact with socially due to some common interest or necessity but only within the context of that interest or necessity. None of these sorts of friends ever entered my home, or knew anything of me and my life beyond the narrow confines of where my life intersected with theirs. Like you, I had even fewer friendships with fellow Christians. Though I was a believer, it was hardest to connect socially with those in my church, with fellow believers. How strange that is, eh? It's not much different today, I'm afraid. Thank God, I've changed, though, by His grace and power, and now find all I need relationally in Him. He really is "one who sticks closer than a brother."

I didn't marry 'til I was 39. I would've married much earlier, but that just didn't happen. It was...difficult and became increasingly a problem for me until, in my mid-thirties, I was so unhappy in my singleness that I became insomniac, and anxious, and deeply, chronically depressed. My unhappiness was so profound I ended up in hospital with the feeling like I couldn't draw breath properly, like I was suffocating. It turned out, that despite what I felt, there was nothing wrong physically. The emergency physician suggested I seek out some psychiatric help.

Since I was a Christian, I turned instead to God for help. I prayed, asking Him to reveal what was going on within me. God answered immediately, bringing to mind my unhappiness at the unmarried state I was in and how much I had made this a token of the general pathetic-ness of my life. Over the next few months, I had to root out a series of well-entrenched lies I had adopted about myself, my life, and God, coming to rest finally and genuinely in the truth that God was enough; not a wife, not a bunch of kids, not a great career, not a cottage at the lake, just God. He was what I really needed, what would fulfill me in a way none of these other things possibly could and bring me into the life for which I had been created.

And then, a short time later, I was married. Funny that, eh?

How about you? What's your view of God, and your relationship to Him? Have you embraced some falsehoods about you and Him that need to be rejected?

I feel like I can't ever really be myself around people. I feel like I'm not understood at all by most people.

This is going to sound very...counter-culture, but God isn't interested in you being yourself. Instead, His goal is to make you more and more like Jesus (Romans 8:29). He intends that you be His vessel in and through whom He communicates Himself - not you - to others.

2 Timothy 2:20-21
20 Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable.
21 Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.


Romans 6:22
22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.


You were made to be a "vessel," a "slave of God," and cannot know the fulfillment, and peace, and joy of being what you were made to be until you yield yourself to this purpose. Will you anchor yourself in this purpose for your life, not in marriage, or a robust social sphere, or what the world calls success?

It takes me to some dark places sometimes, I have no illusions that finding a wife would make my life easier. That said, loneliness comes from not having close ties with other people. There is no affection in my life at all. Its been years since I was hugged by someone who wasn't a family member.

I'm just tired and don't know what to do.

Yup. I know what it's like. I would go days at a time without saying a word. There was no one to talk to. And the distraction of the internet and video games didn't exist back then. But, God waits in the silence and isolation for us to turn to Him so He can lead us into the abundant life He made us for - and that we can only find in going deep with Him. Do you believe this? Will you believe it?

Hebrews 11:6
6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.


Psalm 16:11
11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

John 10:9-11
9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.
11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
 
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LonelyAdams

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After meeting toxic men. Id rather be alone forever than be in a crappy marriage. Being alone is so freeing. How did the Lord tell you no?

I can relate, as alone as I am Ive seen how unhappy some people are in bad relationships.
 
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