I feel my conscience has been seared

[Neonap]

Hello everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I had posted recently here regarding how my heart felt consumed by evil, darkness that seeped into my core of my soul. Some have said that my wicked heart was at war with my spirit, or demonic activity was at play. I've examined myself, and I have come to the conclusion that it was neither of these things but that event just revealed to me how evil I truly am inside. I had given into temptation a day later, my conscience didn't even bite at me. Something disturbing had happened that same day where I was at a secular program where I have attended for quite a while now, my compassion for people had dropped to a very low level. Usually my normal reaction to when people described their painful stories, I felt bad for them to where I could shed tears. My sensitivity to the world around me was great, but recently I've grown cold and distant. Instead of feeling horrible, I started to laugh at people's pain. For example, an old man at the program was describing how the recent divorce with his wife had penetrated him in a very painful way but I had to hold my laughter within from keeping myself from bursting out laughing. That is disturbing, adding to the fact I felt no emotions. I guess I'm sharing this to see what you guys think as to what is going on with me, because when I sin now I don't feel anything. To be honest, I love sin and don't want to change. I think I really have been given over to a seared mind, where I just don't care anymore. I feel truly evil, and belong in hell. I think I'm a mistake, an enemy of God who continously rebels and slides into my sin without no care. Another thing is Ive grown cold to the idea of having friends or even a girlfriend. Being alone doesn't bother me as it hauntingly used to in the past. I can't connect with others on a emotional level.

 

[Goatee]

I am always sliding into the same sins. Its never ending battle my friend.

 

[God is good]

Hello everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I had posted recently here regarding how my heart felt consumed by evil, darkness that seeped into my core of my soul. Some have said that my wicked heart was at war with my spirit, or demonic activity was at play. I've examined myself, and I have come to the conclusion that it was neither of these things but that event just revealed to me how evil I truly am inside. I had given into temptation a day later, my conscience didn't even bite at me. Something disturbing had happened that same day where I was at a secular program where I have attended for quite a while now, my compassion for people had dropped to a very low level. Usually my normal reaction to when people described their painful stories, I felt bad for them to where I could shed tears. My sensitivity to the world around me was great, but recently I've grown cold and distant. Instead of feeling horrible, I started to laugh at people's pain. For example, an old man at the program was describing how the recent divorce with his wife had penetrated him in a very painful way but I had to hold my laughter within from keeping myself from bursting out laughing. That is disturbing, adding to the fact I felt no emotions. I guess I'm sharing this to see what you guys think as to what is going on with me, because when I sin now I don't feel anything. To be honest, I love sin and don't want to change. I think I really have been given over to a seared mind, where I just don't care anymore. I feel truly evil, and belong in hell. I think I'm a mistake, an enemy of God who continously rebels and slides into my sin without no care. Another thing is Ive grown cold to the idea of having friends or even a girlfriend. Being alone doesn't bother me as it hauntingly used to in the past. I can't connect with others on a emotional level.

I believe that if you didn't care, you wouldn't be on here. God loves you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

Hello everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I had posted recently here regarding how my heart felt consumed by evil, darkness that seeped into my core of my soul. Some have said that my wicked heart was at war with my spirit, or demonic activity was at play. I've examined myself, and I have come to the conclusion that it was neither of these things but that event just revealed to me how evil I truly am inside. I had given into temptation a day later, my conscience didn't even bite at me. Something disturbing had happened that same day where I was at a secular program where I have attended for quite a while now, my compassion for people had dropped to a very low level. Usually my normal reaction to when people described their painful stories, I felt bad for them to where I could shed tears. My sensitivity to the world around me was great, but recently I've grown cold and distant. Instead of feeling horrible, I started to laugh at people's pain. For example, an old man at the program was describing how the recent divorce with his wife had penetrated him in a very painful way but I had to hold my laughter within from keeping myself from bursting out laughing. That is disturbing, adding to the fact I felt no emotions. I guess I'm sharing this to see what you guys think as to what is going on with me, because when I sin now I don't feel anything. To be honest, I love sin and don't want to change. I think I really have been given over to a seared mind, where I just don't care anymore. I feel truly evil, and belong in hell. I think I'm a mistake, an enemy of God who continously rebels and slides into my sin without no care. Another thing is Ive grown cold to the idea of having friends or even a girlfriend. Being alone doesn't bother me as it hauntingly used to in the past. I can't connect with others on a emotional level.

Neonap, if you're conscience was truly 'seared' at this point, you wouldn't evaluate yourself as "truly evil, and belong in hell." People with a seared conscience don't think that the sinful things in which they participate are evil.

My guess is that, if anything, you're dealing with depression from a lack of healthy interaction with other significant people in your life. And of course, the world offers us it's own antidote(s) to all of the emotional deficits and stresses we feel, and the devil takes the opportunity through all of this to warp our emotions and perceptions.

At any rate, it sounds like you're connecting with us on an emotional level, I think there's hope if you'll allow yourself to remain in close proximity to God's grace and mercy. If you decide to run further away from it, then there may come some problems you don't want to get into.

I'd suggest you try to get some professional counseling if you can. You're still young, and there's still time to move some things in your life to the more positive and constructive end. I do have some understanding of what you're going through. It ain't fun, I know. But, hang in there, buddy.

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[Paul of Eugene OR]

Hello everyone, I hope all of you are doing well. I had posted recently here regarding how my heart felt consumed by evil, darkness that seeped into my core of my soul. Some have said that my wicked heart was at war with my spirit, or demonic activity was at play. I've examined myself, and I have come to the conclusion that it was neither of these things but that event just revealed to me how evil I truly am inside. I had given into temptation a day later, my conscience didn't even bite at me. Something disturbing had happened that same day where I was at a secular program where I have attended for quite a while now, my compassion for people had dropped to a very low level. Usually my normal reaction to when people described their painful stories, I felt bad for them to where I could shed tears. My sensitivity to the world around me was great, but recently I've grown cold and distant. Instead of feeling horrible, I started to laugh at people's pain. For example, an old man at the program was describing how the recent divorce with his wife had penetrated him in a very painful way but I had to hold my laughter within from keeping myself from bursting out laughing. That is disturbing, adding to the fact I felt no emotions. I guess I'm sharing this to see what you guys think as to what is going on with me, because when I sin now I don't feel anything. To be honest, I love sin and don't want to change. I think I really have been given over to a seared mind, where I just don't care anymore. I feel truly evil, and belong in hell. I think I'm a mistake, an enemy of God who continously rebels and slides into my sin without no care. Another thing is Ive grown cold to the idea of having friends or even a girlfriend. Being alone doesn't bother me as it hauntingly used to in the past. I can't connect with others on a emotional level.

Just do the right thing even if your conscience doesn't bother you and all will be well.

 

[Aleksandros]

Brother, I know exactly how this is - about the first half of this post. I used to be so sensitive - yet now, the amusement.. it has I think gone down recently. I also had found evil desires cropping up - very evil ones. Two days, about, have passed, and I would rather die now than partake of those things I desired

I do not fear hell or future judgment either, but that's not the only thing you're meant to fear - there's judgment in this life itself. Those who depart are called.. "accursed"

What led to this? Have you been going contrary to God willfully or willingly? This is the hardening effect of willful sin - there is hope and it is undoable, but realise you will need prayer and Bible study. Secondly, this may be your natural self - that is, you without the work of the Holy Spirit. What has your life been like? What's your life situation? Etc. These are most likely psychological issues that have shown themselves once the fruits of the Spirit wane.

 

[com7fy8]

my compassion for people had dropped to a very low level.

It is good how you know you need to have compassion.

Usually my normal reaction to when people described their painful stories, I felt bad for them to where I could shed tears.

Well, crying for them might be overdoing it. So, possibly we need how God has us becoming compassionate in a more stable way.

And what do I mean by this? I need to find out, too

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

" I feel my conscience has been seared "

From what you posted in the op, it is way past this.

If you want to recover, look in ACTS , in the BIBLE, and read what
others were told to do. Read the whole book of ACTS seeking YHWH'S PURPOSE, YHWH'S WILL, and YHWH'S SALVATION in JESUS.

There was a chance for them,
there is probably a chance for you.

 

[Eric123]

Brother, I know exactly how this is - about the first half of this post. I used to be so sensitive - yet now, the amusement.. it has I think gone down recently. I also had found evil desires cropping up - very evil ones. Two days, about, have passed, and I would rather die now than partake of those things I desired

I do not fear hell or future judgment either, but that's not the only thing you're meant to fear - there's judgment in this life itself. Those who depart are called.. "accursed"

What led to this? Have you been going contrary to God willfully or willingly? This is the hardening effect of willful sin - there is hope and it is undoable, but realise you will need prayer and Bible study. Secondly, this may be your natural self - that is, you without the work of the Holy Spirit. What has your life been like? What's your life situation? Etc. These are most likely psychological issues that have shown themselves once the fruits of the Spirit wane.

Please help me man I'm a backslidden christian and my heart is so hardened I can't feel any emotion anymore, I feel no guilt from the holy spirit as well please tell me how to overcome this. I willingly sinned here and there but for the most part I was a slave to my sin(masturbation). How can I get back with god? Am I beyond forgiveness?