I Feel Lost and Alone in the Church

[Raphael Jauregui]

I don't necessarily mean alone in my walk with Christ or alone in general, but more like being in Church is becoming more and more like being in a foreign country.
I had a conversation with a friend a little over a week ago that has really shaken me to my core. He and I come from practically identical backgrounds, and have very similar views on almost everything. This is the same friend I mentioned who has become frustrated and disillusioned with the church for many reasons that I agree with such as inauthenticity, close-mindedness, judgementalness, and hatred. I just can't help but wonder how he's done with the Church and I am not, where is the difference in other words.

I think the difference is that I found the Episocopal Church, but while at the same time I've never quite felt "at-home". While I agree with Anglicanism on many things, I am a theological mutt, I hold beliefs from my Restorationist background to Eastern Orthodoxy, and almost everything in-between.

I do think that I still have many brothers and sisters in Christ, these two things have kind of made me question where it is that I belong and who else is like me in the Church. When I take communion, I feel like I am joining Christ and strangers at the table instead of Christ and friends. The most offline fellowship I've had in the last year is casual conversatioms after service and the few times a year I see my friends.

You are not alone! I mean that both figuratively and literally. I'm another Anglican who also has an affinity for Eastern Orthodoxy. In fact, I used to be Greek Orthodox!

 

[Traveling teacher]

bro ii agreee with what was said.....
either get involved taching serving....
my wife and i teach 3rd grade girls......
you can always be a coteacher.....

you can also get with a church with a mans misitry and outreach..????
Also theology.......is good but
be doer of the word and not hearer only......James

 

[Naomi4Christ]

We have in our church development plan a priority of having people move from participating in church to belonging. That means feeling part of the church family. It is a very recognised transition.

I always find that the easiest route into belonging is to "do something" - à la Martha rather than Mary. The coffee rota is a great beginner ministry, but a young able bodied man is perfect for chair moving, etc., and definitely mid-week jobs. Beyond that, get involved in home groups, midweek prayer sessions, breakfasts - whatever is on offer.

A very wise person once said to me that church is a bit like Ikea - you do half, we do half. At coffee time, don't expect everyone to initiate conversations - you need to do likewise.

 

[Walsinghsm Way]

Baruch Hashem y'all!

I'm not sure if this speaks to your situation or not, but I know I have felt out of sorts about the wider (TEC) Church for a long while, and increasingly about my place in my individual parish. In many ways I do feel abandoned theologically by the Church, at least by the bishops and General Convention, as I feel that they have allowed theology to he captured by the surrounding culture and let the Gospel take back seat to a more purely social justice stances with a veneer of theological trappings to make it palatable.

In regards to my place in my curent parish I also feel like an outsider. I basically go there to worship and don't consider it a place for fellowship, or any type of Christian formation. Ok, the fact that it's nearly 45 minutes to an hour away has something to do with it. Part of it as well is that the once strong identify of the parish as Anglo-Catholic has eroded since the departure of our next to last rector, and become more of an Affirming-Catholic presence as opposed to a classical, Tractarian mode. Part of it again is that I've never considered the parish as a spiritual home, and don't really see it as a family for values of family the way the word is bandied about.

 

[Paidiske]

"Family" as a metaphor for church doesn't work for everybody. I think perhaps it works better for people whose family style and church style match relatively closely.

Being outside our comfort zones is often a great place for growing and learning, but that doesn't necessarily make it more enjoyable!

 

[Iarrthoir]

I don't know what I am. That was part of my introduction post. I believe in saints. Seem to have a hodge podge of beliefs. That's part of why I am here. Hope to make friends and learn from who I can including the older traditions. Been going to church and mostly feel alone. That might be changing soon though. Prayer and other help is appreciated.

 

[Tigger45]

I don't know what I am. That was part of my introduction post. I believe in saints. Seem to have a hodge podge of beliefs. That's part of why I am here. Hope to make friends and learn from who I can including the older traditions. Been going to church and mostly feel alone. That might be changing soon though. Prayer and other help is appreciated.

Here>Looking for a Church is a good place to start a thread that typically yields some useful information.