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Featured I feel like I am at my breaking point...

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by FaeTalesPrincess, Oct 25, 2018.

  1. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    I will first like to start of saying thank you for reading my story and if you have any advice that would be amazing or if you are just pasting by Hello I hope you have a wonderful day.

    I love my daddy but I do not love what he does to me or how he treats me. How he treats me makes me feel even more alone in this world than I already do. My dad is the first person I ever trusted and told what I was going through spiritually. Such as me seeing things and getting scared by demonic things sadly. Knowing that my dad is a christian man and I was brought up believing in the spiritual realm and my dad even saying he has experienced things I though he would be able to help me maybe or understand. But to me I feel he did not understand he blamed me by saying if I prayed more this wouldn't happen to me. I was around seven at the time when he told me this and though I admit I did not pray like I should and sadly at 21 I can say I do not pray like i should still to this day I just looking back on it now I wish he helped me. I wish he brought me to church so I get help with the spiritual things i am going through. Or even so I could find out who I was to God or what was going on with me. I have lived a life of confusion and its gotten worst and worst to the place where mentally I can not care for myself anymore like I used to. As of June of this year my OCD became so bad that I could do nothing for myself because I am scared of my body. As of now I am still going through it but I am getting help for it. I just wish my dad helped me like I helped when. When my parents had their divorce i was there with my dad at age 14 through it all. Basically ever day until I was 17 or 18 I would hear my dad talking about how my mom was a cheater. He even showed me proof sadly when I was 13 or 14. Through it all I was there for him and I still am even when he says things like I do not love him or that he is going to move away because I was not able to come to his house that day. Through it all I still loved him and tried to help him and my mom. Though in return I am alone I have no one by my side truly. This is the time I really need him though because not only are me and my boyfriend going through spiritual issues but other people in my family are as well. Though he knows some of whats going on with me he still judges me saying its my fault for not praying but he doesn't know what I have gone through spiritually and mentally. Me and my boyfriend are under severe oppression though I believe he is basically possessed because he has blackouts where he remembers nothing but during those blackouts he sometimes hurts me. Either physically or sexually. Thank God he did not rape me but I just wish my dad was able to get the help for me back then including me mom as well. As a child my mom went through spiritual oppression or even possession though due to what i heard from my dad and brother it was most likely possession. My cousin even had a dream about he trying to get into my house to protect me because a demonic looking thing was beating me. With all those signs there I was still left alone. I not only do not know why I am inside but I do not know my purpose why I am alive and I have so much hate for myself. I may have my boyfriend who is here for me during this trying time in my life but I feel it is just a time before he lives me too. He says he loves me and he will love me no matter what but I know due to the way i feel and think about certain things i could never become a wife. I want to stay celibate for my entire life and though he said he will marry me still I fear that he will never truly be happy. I need my dad he is all I have truly but I am alone and I do not know what to do. I may be getting help spiritually and hopefully soon I will get a deliverance but that still doesn't change the fact. I am broken and alone and all I want is to feel love and like i will never be alone no matter what happens in life I just want love and to be finally happy.
     
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  2. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,407
    Christian
    Married
    I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time. I will pray for you.

    But I would also advise you, at 21, to take control of your spiritual relationship with God. Your dad may be doing the best that he can. Now you need to connect with your heavenly Father God.

    Look for a church (with your boyfriend hopefully) that will introduce you to God. You would likely be looking for a small neighborhood church, ... where the people there are welcoming, ... and you see that they love one another.

    Ask to speak to the pastor/minister. Tell him that you want to come to know your heavenly Father.

    In the meantime, let me say ... that God (the Father) loves you so much.

    He's loved you since before you were born ... and directed you here to Christian Forums to get information on how to come to meet Him. God loves you so much that He allowed His only Son to come to earth and die ... just so you could have a chance to be reunited with Him. If you believe that He has done this ... you can start your relationship with Him right now ... and start to talk to Him (pray to Him) right now.

    Even if you do this, you should still find a church which will love you, and your boyfriend, and maybe even your dad.

    Do it, Princess ... find your heavenly Father.

    “But if you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him ... if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 4:29).
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2018
  3. Maria Billingsley

    Maria Billingsley Well-Known Member Supporter

    +812
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    I am sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. Understand that the Lord has not abandoned you. He would want you to turn to Him when in need. It is as simple as talking to Him. Sometimes just taking a walk in nature while talking to him is less formal and more genuine. God does not want anyone to be forced to pray to Him. What love is there in that? Ask Him to lift your hurt.
    As far as demonic activity in your life, I would not focus on that AT ALL! Walk in the Spirit! Rejoice in Him and let Him lead you into truth.
    Blessings
     
  4. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship



    Thank you for your kind words you are right I do need to grow my relationship with God. I have done a few things such as being born again and looking for help for me and my family. Though its not enough I know. Honestly your right my daddy he has a not so nice family and so I feel he has a lot of hurt and maybe he can not help me the way I wish because he needs to help himself first. I just hope one day he will understand and maybe one day i can talk to my mom about whats going on because it all started in the house she owns to this day especially knowing my family wants a priest to come to the house. Though no one but my boyfriend and I know how serious it is so I should possibly tell them so they know I just do not want them to be mad at my boyfriend because its not his fault he is going through this.
     
  5. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,407
    Christian
    Married
    Princess ... you have taken some very positive steps. Keep going ... one day at a time.

    P.S. That's a truly beautiful girl in your photograph ...
     
  6. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +2,618
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I agree with the others, what you need is is God. Specifically, you need the person of Jesus Christ and He will never leave you nor forsake you. Daddy didn't help at 7, have you considered that he has no capacity to do so even now? But God does.

    If you got into a good Christian church with good members they can be like family. They are family in the Body Of Christ ! Meanwhile give no place to the devil, he is a defeated foe anyway unless you give place to him. So don't do that, seek Jesus Christ, He loves you.
     
  7. Lost4words

    Lost4words Like a puppy, i need guidance. Supporter

    +2,993
    United Kingdom
    Catholic
    Single
    I think you need to seek spiritual direction / help. In my church, the Catholic Church, we have Spiritual Directors. Or, seek out a good priest. Dont let all this eat you up inside. You need to talk to a man of God asap. He will guide you with God's help. You cant walk this path on your own.

    Obviously you Dad has his own issues too. First, i would try and get some good advice / help for yourself. You need peace of mind, heart and soul.
     
  8. fm107

    fm107 Psalm 19:1-4 and Romans 1:20

    +76
    United Kingdom
    Protestant
    Single
    Hi Fae,

    Are you born-again? That is the most important thing!

    Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." John 3:3


    When we have problems of any kind in life, it is God that we take the problem to so tell God about your problems and ask for His help. God wants to help us through life and cares for us. That being said, it doesn't diminish responsibility on our part to follow God's word - if we fail to do so, it is at our own peril.

    You mention you think your boyfriend could be demon possessed. Well, in my view, it is impossible for a truly born-again Christian to be demon possessed because someone who is born-again is indwelt by the Holy Spirit - not by demon(s). (John 14:17 & 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Furthermore, if he is abusing you physically and sexually, that fortifies my view that he is not born-again but rather a mere professor.
    This being the case, if you yourself are born-again, God says you are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. This means entering into relations with someone who is not really born of God. (2 Corinthians 6:14).

    So in my view, I think you need to get away from your boyfriend (I know financially you might be dependent upon him and he is a support to you). The fact though that he is not really a Christian means your living disobediently to God's word. When we live like that we won't be happy (God has hard-wired us to be happy when living obedient lives and unhappy when we live disobedient lives). Furthermore, in being around your boyfriend who is potentially demon possessed, your in close contact with demons so your not helping yourself being around such a person.

    I have never met a born-again Christian who has a problem with demons. Yes, we can be tempted by them but if we resist the temptation, they will flee from us. (James 4:17) That being said, I don't know any Christians who live with someone who is demon possessed. I'd like you to really consider this question about being born again.

    If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

    I hope this helps and your in our prayers.
     
  9. Melody Suttles

    Melody Suttles SingPeace Supporter

    43
    +68
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    CA-Conservatives

    Dear Princess, I am so sorry for what you have been through. No one; especially a parent, should ever take away the innocence of their own child.

    Please know that you are the Lord's princess! You were bought with a great price and are valuable in God's eyes. I think God would say that He is and will always be your true Dad. He will never lie to you; never confuse you; never bring harm to you, and never lay the weight of guilt and shame upon you. He would say that He can and will gladly heal the wounds of your heart and make your future incredibly bright and alive.

    I would encourage you to find a Christian church which teaches the Gospel and where everyone is accepted and loved just the way they are. Find a church where there are a lot of people your age and where you do not feel judged. A place where you can feel love and friendship is extended to you. It is so important to fill your life with others who will be there for you when you can't turn to family.


    In the link below is a video of Joyce Meyer telling how her father hurt her - how she went through much of what you did - and how she was able to overcome and reverse the hurt through her relationship with the Lord and through understanding what God's Word revealed about who she was to God.

    Life Beyond Abuse

    Father God, I pray for Princess right now in Jesus' name and ask that your Word come alive in Princess' heart and mind. Quicken her spirit and bring her to a place of refuge and safety. Father, help Princess say to herself, "God loves me. Deeply and completely. God’s Word says I am precious in God’s sight—accepted and valued (Isa. 43:4)."
    Lord, You saw Princess' abuse when she was growing up, and You did not condone it. Show Princess thad she does not have to stay silent or bury the pain and trauma. Father God, help Princess to say, "I know I can forgive others because I have been so greatly forgiven. Bitterness will only make my pain worse and continue to wound others (Heb. 12:15). I do not have to live in fear like a victim. Peace and victory come as I study and rest in who I am in Christ (Eph. 1:3–8). As I run to the Lord who sees, heals, and comforts, I can use what the enemy meant for evil to bring glory and praise to God (Gen. 50:20). I can learn how to communicate clear, pure boundaries in all relationships and speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15)."
    In Jesus' name, I pray Amen.
     
  10. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Thank you so very much you warmed my heart and I truly appreciate your kind words and advice.
     
  11. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship

    Thank you soo much for your kind words of advice you are correct sadly my dad he is a good man and I ill always love him and be his girl but I know he does not truly understand what is going on with me and I feel I should be completely honest. He knows about the spiritual issues going on in the household which involve me, my boyfriend, my older brother and my nieces and nephew though he does not know how serious it has gotten for me and my boyfriend. He knows I see things and that i have gotten hurt by these things like a few scratches here or there but he doesn't know how severe it all is. Though I would be scared to tell him because even if I came to him he would not believe my boyfriend was possessed and he would think he was just trying to hurt me which is not true. Though maybe he would believe me because my mom when I was a child was under demonic possession or oppression my dad told me she never was able to get help for it though sadly. I do hope to find a church home because I need to advance my relationship with God I truly do. I also hope the church would be able to help my family because what is going on is dangerous and we need Gods help we truly do.
     
  12. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship

    Hello thank you sooo much for your advice and kind words you are very right I need to start talking to God about whats going on. If i am honest I have not truly talked to God and or asked him for help over the situation I am in when I should have. I relayed on other Godly people because I sadly can not hear God to know what i should do in this situation and also because I am still growing as a christian. I have been christian my whole life but i have a lot of growing to do spiritually to get closer to God. I truly do understand what you said about only not born again Christians being the only ones to become demonically possessed I was brought up on that belief as well. Though at this point in my life I do not know what is truly going on and I am confused. I know what my boyfriend is going through is demonic he has been here for me when I was scared about the things going on when we were in high school. Since he has moved in last year with me and my family that is when he would have his black outs and when he started to see things in our home and I have seen him double over in pain because something spiritually happened. I know what he is going through is true how it started or happened I am unsure I just know my mom went through the same hing he did when I was a child my mom was a complete different person than she is now and she did some really scary things. My dad told me when I was a teenager that my mom hissed at my dog once for no reason and said get out at him. She did other unnatural things too but the only other thing I know as proof my mom was possibly possessed as well was my cousin a strong christian woman said she had a dream about something demonic hurting me while she was trying to get to me. My dad and her both believed it was a sign because my father was in the dream on the deck and I was getting slapped around but she did not see my mom. I also have gone through things since I was a little girl including seeing things and things physically happening to me. I sadly have family and friends feel horrible horrible in the house. Sadly as well own nieces and nephew have seen things and they are scared of my moms house. My brother too saw a dark shadow person when we was 17 i the house though he has not seen anything since he is 29 now. Though his son my nephew came to me saying he sees scary things all the time. I am truly worried about my family I know some time soon we will have a priest some to pray over our house and us soon though am unsure when and who will.
     
  13. Petros2015

    Petros2015 Well-Known Member

    +1,772
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    Ummm... what??? That's way outside of normal or healthy. Are there drugs and/or alcohol involved? Please protect yourself by removing yourself from the situation if necessary.
     
  14. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Thank you soo much for your advice and your concern as well as your kindness. You are right I need to seek spiritual guidance I have been looking for so long for some sense of help and advice with whats going on. As things got worst I just became more and more confused my dad too told me to go to a Catholic Church as well because they would be able to help our family. Thank God we have a Catholic Church down the street from my moms home and or I could even go to my old elementary school which was a Catholic school as well that is connected to the church. Sadly I both of my parents do have some issues going on my mom though she does not go through spiritual issues I am guessing anymore she doesn't know or understand that there are scary things out here to hurt us. Though I also know that i should not fear them but I do which I need to get help with as well. I hope my family can come together during this time I truly pray we can.
     
  15. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Thank you sooo much for your prayer and your kindness and advice though I have never been abused by my dad. He had anger issues yes though he would never sexually abuse me. I am sorry if i did not word my paragraph I truly am. I promise there is nothing to worry about with me I had a well up bringing the only kind of abuse I went through would be me seeing spiritual things growing up and the unsettling dreams I had because of what ever is going on in my family and or house. I sadly grew up in a very bad spiritual situation no one understood my family and I only knew their experiences and what they saw. Now that it has gotten worst and my nephew,nieces and boyfriend are going through things because they live the house my dad and I are trying to find help for our family. The reason my boyfriend lives in the house is because he had a very bad roommate situation and also because I need him because I am scared to be alone. Though we are both waiting till marriage and do nothing bad.
     
  16. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
    Hello thank you for your reply I promise there are no drugs or alcohol involved sadly my family and I have been going through a spiritual battle my whole life basically. I wish I could remove myself from the situation but what ever is going on is attached to me and our my family and my family and I do not want to move we have been in this home for about 24 years I think.
     
  17. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +2,618
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Has there been voodoo or witchcraft or something similar in your family or family's past ?
     
  18. Petros2015

    Petros2015 Well-Known Member

    +1,772
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    You are welcome and you have my prayers - if it is a spiritual problem seek a spiritual solution. I'm glad there are no drugs or alcohol that would only make things worse.

    I think if it was me I would leave that house. Maybe it's not attached to you and your family, maybe it's attached to the house.
     
  19. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship
     
  20. FaeTalesPrincess

    FaeTalesPrincess New Member

    22
    +18
    United States
    Christian
    In Relationship


    Thank you soo much I too am glad there are no drugs and etc. involved it truly would make it worst. I promised myself I would never drink and or do drugs because a lot of people in my family have issues with those things. You are also right the best solution may be to leave though it would really hurt because my parents built the house and I have lived in it my whole life I would miss it very much. My dad and I believe its either the land or maybe generational though we really do not know at all its so confusing and upsetting. The reason I say it is attached to me is because while me and my boyfriend were at the park about a year ago he saw something scary in the woods watching us and he told me that the thing he saw is also what he has seen in his dreams as well. Though I do not know if it is attached to me I am hoping a priest of person of God will come help my family soon.
     
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