I've talked to a lot of people who say God loves me, but I feel inside my heart that he hates me. No matter how many people I talk to I never feel any better. In my heart I have no love for God or Jesus and I feel like they have no love for me either.
The reason I feel this way is because I've been given magical signs and miracles that say I'm a terrible person.
I found a written list in my room of my worst sins, in my own handwriting. This list was an accusation. It made me feel like a terrible person.
There was also one time where I was handing out bibles to homeless people and I met a person who said he was an angel from God. He said his name was “Israel” and he wrote the bible. This person told me not to hand out bibles unless I read the bible avidly. I like the bible but I am not an avid reader. So he told me that I was like a hypocrite for handing out bibles when I don’t read it avidly.
So I feel like even though I tried to do good by handing out bibles they still hated me. I feel like no matter how many good deeds I do it will never be enough to make up for my sin.
I also found messages around the house telling me that I have to dig under the house where I live. There is a crawlspace under my house about 3 and 1/2 feet high. I hear a voice in my head that says I need to go into the crawlspace and dig underneath the house where I live, or else I will be buried alive there forever. He says that my “soul” or “resurrection body” is buried under the house where I live. However, I live with my parents and they have forbidden me to dig under the house. So I feel like I will be buried alive there forever.
The voice in my head tells me I’m going to be buried alive forever. He says God has no love for me and that is why he is going to bury me. Sometimes the voice says that they will dig up my coffin and throw it into the lake of fire.
All in all I feel hopeless. My only hope was to dig under the house where I live and now my parents have forbidden me to dig there. So I feel like there is no hope for me and I will be buried alive forever in the afterlife.
Like I said I’ve talked with numerous people who have told me God loves me in spite of these things. But for some reason I can’t believe it. Maybe it’s because I hear a voice that is constantly accusing me of things. I’ve had multiple exorcisms though and the voice will never go away. I feel like the voice is a very powerful demon and no one but God himself can cure it. However, no matter how much I pray God won’t cure it.
The voice says, "Let God cure you if he really loves you!" The voice mocks me and says that God is "paying him to torture me."
The reason I feel this way is because I've been given magical signs and miracles that say I'm a terrible person.
I found a written list in my room of my worst sins, in my own handwriting. This list was an accusation. It made me feel like a terrible person.
There was also one time where I was handing out bibles to homeless people and I met a person who said he was an angel from God. He said his name was “Israel” and he wrote the bible. This person told me not to hand out bibles unless I read the bible avidly. I like the bible but I am not an avid reader. So he told me that I was like a hypocrite for handing out bibles when I don’t read it avidly.
So I feel like even though I tried to do good by handing out bibles they still hated me. I feel like no matter how many good deeds I do it will never be enough to make up for my sin.
I also found messages around the house telling me that I have to dig under the house where I live. There is a crawlspace under my house about 3 and 1/2 feet high. I hear a voice in my head that says I need to go into the crawlspace and dig underneath the house where I live, or else I will be buried alive there forever. He says that my “soul” or “resurrection body” is buried under the house where I live. However, I live with my parents and they have forbidden me to dig under the house. So I feel like I will be buried alive there forever.
The voice in my head tells me I’m going to be buried alive forever. He says God has no love for me and that is why he is going to bury me. Sometimes the voice says that they will dig up my coffin and throw it into the lake of fire.
All in all I feel hopeless. My only hope was to dig under the house where I live and now my parents have forbidden me to dig there. So I feel like there is no hope for me and I will be buried alive forever in the afterlife.
Like I said I’ve talked with numerous people who have told me God loves me in spite of these things. But for some reason I can’t believe it. Maybe it’s because I hear a voice that is constantly accusing me of things. I’ve had multiple exorcisms though and the voice will never go away. I feel like the voice is a very powerful demon and no one but God himself can cure it. However, no matter how much I pray God won’t cure it.
The voice says, "Let God cure you if he really loves you!" The voice mocks me and says that God is "paying him to torture me."
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