I feel guilty, feel that I cheated on my girlfriend

[MercyandFaith]

Story: My girlfriend and I are half the world apart. She's in Asia, I'm in the USA. Frankly, the relationships' days are numbered and I have also communicated in the past that we would most likely not get married. I am not sure we even technically still count as being in a relationship.

Nevertheless, I feel guilty over having contacted some women on dating websites and chatting them up, and also asking out a nearby local woman out on a date. I feel that I have cheated on my girlfriend, even though I am extremely unlikely to ever meet up with the women on the dating websites either. It has gotten to the point where I feel I cannot participate on the worship team at my church because of the Matthew commandment, do not offer your offering unless you have had reconciliation with a Christian whom you have wronged.

Even though my girlfriend knows nothing about this, and technically wouldn't be hurt unless I let her know, I am not sure what to do now. I feel I should confess, and yet I also feel I should not confess.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Just going to give you an example from my own life and let it speak for itself and maybe you can find comfort in what I am saying. When I pray, if the Holy Spirit is convicting me of anything and it doesn't go away, I feel the need to make amends wherever the strife or pain is at, to the person and address the situation. When I have something in my heart that "feels" like it is in the way of me hearing God and it's causing me to not break through, I must deal with the issue at hand. I (personally) can't be focused with full attention on God and have this nagging unresolved issue within my heart and mind, or else when I pray, my mind will stray and I will start thinking about IT instead of thinking about God. Your relationship with Christ is your first priority and I understand the guilt, but if you feel the HS is pulling you to deal with it, then maybe you should. God cares about the matters of your heart and mind and HE wants a clean slate when you bow before Him. Prayers for you and if you are on the worship team and it's affecting you this way, then yeah, I would say you need to get this off your chest. Prayers for you

 

[tdidymas]

Story: My girlfriend and I are half the world apart. She's in Asia, I'm in the USA. Frankly, the relationships' days are numbered and I have also communicated in the past that we would most likely not get married. I am not sure we even technically still count as being in a relationship.

Nevertheless, I feel guilty over having contacted some women on dating websites and chatting them up, and also asking out a nearby local woman out on a date. I feel that I have cheated on my girlfriend, even though I am extremely unlikely to ever meet up with the women on the dating websites either. It has gotten to the point where I feel I cannot participate on the worship team at my church because of the Matthew commandment, do not offer your offering unless you have had reconciliation with a Christian whom you have wronged.

Even though my girlfriend knows nothing about this, and technically wouldn't be hurt unless I let her know, I am not sure what to do now. I feel I should confess, and yet I also feel I should not confess.

Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)

It sounds like you made some statements to her that implied promises of going steady (or whatever like that) and your conscience is bearing witness against you. It sounds to me like you need to communicate with her the nature of your relationship and come to an agreement about it. Where do you stand with her, and where does she stand with you? It can't be a lie, if you are a follower of Christ.
TD

 

[Dave G.]

I see the bottom line as a pretty simple one once you cut through the emotional aspect of this.. You either love the girl in Asia and intend to move on in life with her or you don't love the girl in Asia and don't intend to move on in life with her. If it's the first reality then dump/ stop chasing other girls. If it's the latter reality then you need to let her go so she is set free and can move on and find someone who does love her. And you are free to date and find someone different. This is not like a commitment of engagement or some such thing, or worse a marriage. There are bumps and ups and downs in the dating scene as I recall it from many moons ago. But you gotta stop trying to have your cake and eat it too in some sort of half baked commitment that keeps everyone stringing along. I'm not saying that in a condemning way but showing the result. It's not fair to anyone, including yourself.